Naruto was an extraordinary 7 year old child... wait that's a lie he was an extraordinary 8 year old... his birthday was last month. This little boy was able to help kill almost an entire clan with the Uchiha genius. The boy seemed to worship Ramen like Kakashi worshiped Ich Icha porn and as such when he found out about the Uchiha coup and their plan to ban ramen, he went mental along with Itachi and took down all those involved in the coup, which was most of the clan over the age of 20. Due to inbreeding the clan had been having fertility problems and only had 5 children all under the age of 14 which included Sasuke and Itachi, they all survived.
The Hokage looked at Naruto who stood in front of him, a blush was gracing the child's face as the man he looked to as a grandfather looked at him and the two black haired boys next to him in disappointment. Behind them were two ANUB wearing the masks of Inu and Tora.
After both Naruto and Itachi destroyed the Uchiha clan the ANBU had arrived and took the two into custody. They had then found Sasuke who had gotten over his initial shock at the Uchiha and had gone around and drawing rude words and pictures on the Uchiha faces and putting them into embarrassing positions. As he didn't get to do the killing he comforted himself with decimating their bodies with his multi-coloured pen and creative imagination.
The Hokage stared at the three boys in front of him with a sigh. When the Anbu told him about the massacre he was expecting a half-crazed ninja who had snapped, he hadn't expected Naruto running around hyper on sugar chasing and stabbing anything that moved... which included the cat Tora who had snuck onto the clan state to escape her owner.
'So boys what do you have to say for yourself, you completely slaughtered a clan that has been in Konoha since its founding.'
Sasuke and Itachi kept their faces blank staring straight ahead of them, Naruto however looked at the floor and shuffled his feet.
'But JiJi we had to... they were going to ban ra...ramen' Naruto's eye's got impossibly wide and glistened with tears
The Hokage had to look away as he knew that if he stared two long he would give Naruto whatever he wanted.
He looked at his two advisors Homura Mitokado and Koharu Utatane who were sitting beside him and then he looked at Naruto,
'Right I'm going to have no choice but to punish all three off you'
The councillors smirked, thinking the demon will finally get what he deserved; they could worry about the Uchiha's punishment later as they need to know that though they can get away with a lot but they can't go about slaughtering clans.
'Naruto you are hereby banned from ramen, Itachi from pocky and Sasuke from tomatoes for a WHOLE week'
Bu...But they were going to ban pocky/tomatoes/ramen' Naruto, Sasuke and Itachi protested together.
'I don't care' the Hokage said looking away from the three pairs of puppy dog eyes staring at him.
The councillors were staring at him in shock; he assumed it was because of the harsh punishment he had just issued. Well no matter what ever they say he wasn't going to go back on his punishment. Nuhu no way...
'They were going to ban Icha Icha as well' Naruto smirked slyly.
Hokage's eyes went wide 'Not Icha Icha' the Hokage looked at the three in front of him, what was he to do... they should be punished, but they saved Icha Icha. The Hokage sighed again he had no choice it had to be done!
'Right, the three of you will be rewarded for stopping this gross injustice'
Inu who had frozen in shock now seemed to have broken out of his shocked state and started to choke and have a panic attack at the revelation that his Icha Icha had been close to extinction in Konoha. He brought out his Icha Icha that was in his pocket and held it like one would a baby.
'Don't listen to those mean Uchiha, daddy will protect you shhhhh'
He stood there and rocked his book back and forth within his arms ignoring everyone around him.
The Hokage looked at Inu with understanding. He himself was tempted to do the same with his own hidden book in locked bottom draw, only Naruto knew what was inside.
His advisor seemed to have grown more shocked and have seemed to have been made speechless with the opening and closing of their mouths. This he also assumed was due to the shock at having the revelation that the Uchiha tried to get rid of his precious Icha Icha and looked at the two with understanding and sympathy in his eyes.
'You boys may leave now and I'm sure that you two boys could stay with Naruto while we sort out where you will be living. Tora will take you as Inu seems to be indisposed' the Hokage spoke while looking at Inu still rocking the orange book back and forth, whispering soothingly to it while stroking the orange cover.
After everyone except his two councillors had left he turned to look at the two councillors both of whom were still looking at him in shock.
'I know that they need to know that massacring clans is wrong but I just couldn't punish them after they saved Konoha from a gross injustice'
'B...bu...but they were only going to ban a few books and some food'
'I know it was horrifying that they even comprehended the idea to ban these gifts from the gods. It was a truly amazing turn of events that they were found out before it accrued. Right?'
The two advisors looked at each other and nodded slowly, both believing that the Sadamine had finally cracked. They both stood up and thought it was best to leave as quickly as possible without causing suspicion and without turning their backs on the crazed man.
'Right, we'll just be... just be going... see you tomorrow... yes tomorrow... bye' they said together and walked backward as quickly as possible and slammed the door behind them.
As soon as they left, Hokage quickly unlocked the bottom draw and brought out his orange book and began to smooth the cover like one would a pet cat.
'It's okay Papa's here and he won't ever leave you...in fact I'm going to write in my will that I am to be buried with you so that you will always now that Papa loves you, alright'
So that was the aftermath of the massacre, in the morning the Hokage was pressured by the council to exile Itachi but instead persuaded them to let him go on a long term assignment in Akatsuki. Sasuke was advised to get revenge on Itachi by the council and told him it was Itachi who told the Uchiha clan to ban tomatoes in an attempt to stop the banning of Pocky. Naruto kept on as the happy boy he was and thought it was all a bad dream induced by withdrawal from ramen making him even more fanatic if it was possible. And so that was the aftermath of the Uchiha massacre.
A.N. People asked for Uchiha massacre to be continued... so here it is, not as funny though. Also this is unbetad(sp?).