So here it is, the fruits of my NaNo labor. This is the first multi-chapter fic I've taken on in awhile, and I'm beyond excited to share it. It is also being cross-posted to AO3 under the same pseud and on Tumblr as reignofdreams. I have most of this story written out, and what's not is plotted in detail so updates should be regular. Enjoy!
Chapter 1: Escaping Neverland
Lately, I've been the quiet one
Waiting searching the lines of songs you played for me.
Sailing into the misty air,
Fading bound for I don't know where,
When I'm there I'll see.
~ If I Walk Away, Josh Groban
...
Running. Why does her life always involve running?
Emma slaps another branch out of her way, tightening her clammy grip as Henry's hand starts to slip from hers. They're both panting from exertion, the crashing of their flight through Neverland's clawing jungle echoing all around them as the other members of their makeshift rescue party flank them and keep pace.
A wayward branch catches her cheek, the sting of the shallow scratch making her even more hyper aware of her surroundings. She can't hear the Lost Boys following them over their own stampede, but Emma's under no illusions that they've given up the chase.
Pan's livid green eyes as Regina and Gold trap him in Pandora's Box promise unimaginable pain and suffering in retribution for his imprisonment, and it has Emma sending up a silent prayer that they will never have to find out just what that revenge entails. The furious screech of Pan's shadow as its master is locked away jolts everyone into action.
Pan's second—Felix, Hook had called him—barks out an enraged order and the Lost Boys charge them with a roar.
Emma grabs Henry without hesitation, Neal hoisting the newly freed Wendy onto his back, and they all make a hasty retreat. Gold and Regina stay behind, throwing up a wall of magic to give them a head start.
Emma feels an awkward jolt to her arm as Henry stumbles. She meets his wide eyes, trying to school her expression into something urgent but in control as she helps him quickly to his feet. She's not sure she succeeds.
"Hurry, lass!" she hears at her shoulder as Hook catches up and gives them both a light push to get them going again. "The devils are gaining on us rather quickly."
Emma just nods breathlessly as she wills herself to go faster, mentally apologizing to Henry for the punishing grip she has on his wrist. There will definitely be bruises on his arm when this is all over with, but it's really a small price to pay if it means having her son back safe and sound. She knows Henry will forgive her.
"Are we getting close?!" Emma hears Snow call out behind her.
"Aye," Hook bites out at her side. "Just a bit farther and we'll—"
Whatever he's going to say dies on his lips and Emma hears Neal gasp in shock as they all skid to a stop. They are in another clearing, and standing opposite them is a beautiful brunette with icy blue eyes. Something about her triggers a tingle of familiarity in Emma.
"Milah?" Hook croaks, voice a broken whisper.
Emma stares at him in shock, eyes flicking from Hook to Neal to the woman and back again. Hook's face is ashen, azure eyes filled with such heartache that she has to look away. Neal is hardly any better.
His breathless whisper of "Mama?" tears at her heart and she watches as Milah's crystalline eyes water, a small tentative smile gracing her lips.
"Bae? Killian?"
"How?" Hook rasps—Emma just looks at her parents standing on Hook's other side, sharing a look of total bewilderment with them.
They don't have the time to waste, but that fact is swallowed up by the sheer impossibility of the moment.
"I don't know," Milah answers softly. "The last thing I remember is looking into your eyes and then nothing. I awoke on a beach here, lost and confused because I didn't know where I was and I'd thought it was the end for me."
"I…it can't—you can't be…" Emma feels her heart squeeze at Neal's halting words.
But it is Hook's wrecked, barely audible, "You died in my arms" that has tears springing to her eyes.
She feels Henry tug at her hand. "Mom?" he asks, confusion shining in his hazel eyes. And what can she say when she barely understands what's going on herself?
The sound of branches snapping brings their vulnerability slamming home, and everyone tenses in preparation for a fight. They barely relax as Regina and Gold appear.
"What the hell are you all doing?!" Regina yells. "Why aren't you—"
"You!" Gold hisses, eyes shining with anger as they land on Milah.
It happens too fast for any of them to react, and Emma only has time to watch Milah's eyes widen in terror, to hear Neal and Hook's simultaneous "NO!" before Gold flings a bolt of magic. It hits Milah square in the chest and she drops to her knees with a shout, clutching near her heart. Gold steps closer, hand squeezing the air, a half-mad menacing smile on his lips.
"PAPA, NO!"
"MILAH!"
Hook and Neal's desperate cries get drowned out as Milah's agonized scream turns into a familiar unearthly screech.
They all watch with wide eyes as her form shifts and fades until all that's left is Pan's shadow, glowing eyes pinning Gold with a look of absolute loathing before it flies up through the jungle canopy, disappearing and leaving an eerie echo in its wake.
"Fools," Gold spits.
"I don't seem to recall you faring any better when it was Belle," Emma hears Regina mutter.
Wendy is resting her head on Neal's shoulder, arms wrapped slightly tighter in a show of comfort, and Emma can feel Hook trembling where their arms just barely make contact.
She can't look at his face, won't, paralyzed by the devastation she's sure she'll see there—God what if it had been Graham? She knows that the image of Milah dying again before his eyes—at Gold's hand once more—is no less painful for the knowledge that she was just an illusion. She can't begin to imagine the agony of reliving something so horrific.
The sound of movement not far from them and David's "We've gotta move" sparks some life back into Hook. The pirate shakes his head, struggling to regain focus.
"No," he says. "We'll never outrun them and get the Jolly moving in time. They're too close."
"Tinkerbell said she would meet us on the ship with the pixie dust," Snow points out.
"Aye," Hook agrees. His gaze locks with Neal's, jaw set. "We're not far off. Take Wendy, Emma and Henry and get to the Jolly Roger. I trust you remember what I taught you?"
Neal nods solemnly in acknowledgment, his own expression still shaken.
"Good. Prepare her to sail out of the cove. The rest of us will remain here and hold Pan's rabble at bay. When you've gotten underway, signal us and we'll break for the beach." He turns to Regina, avoiding looking at Gold but addressing both. "How is your magic over distance?"
Regina's eyes light in understanding. "Between the two of us, we'll manage."
"What?" Emma asks in confusion, but she's ignored. The Lost Boys are nearly upon them.
"That settles it," David says. "Emma you guys need to go, now!"
"But—" Henry protests, but Emma meets Regina's eyes. Henry is all that matters.
Hook shoves them forward again (she was going to be having a serious talk with him about that when this was all over). She and Henry plunge through the jungle, Neal and Wendy just ahead. Emma tries to block out the sound of fighting that starts up behind her. Focus on Henry. Swords clashing. Just focus on Henry. A cry of pain. You'll see them again.
So she runs…again.
…
As soon as their feet hit the deck Neal begins shouting out directions. Emma and Henry scramble around the deck, tying off this and lowering that, preparing the ship to get underway. There's no sign of Tinkerbell yet and Emma tries to reassure herself that the fairy is on her way, that nothing happened to prevent her getting the one thing they need to go home. It was quite a risk they had asked her to take when she'd said the only way get the dust was to steal it from Pan's camp. What if she decided not to come?
Neal digs through one of the crates on the upper deck as the two of them finish up, Emma going to stand with Henry stiffly at the helm. She feels like there should be some kind of sound or something to reflect the urgency that she feels thrumming through her, but Neverland is still and silent. It's impossible to hide her anxiety, and Emma feels Henry give her hand a reassuring squeeze.
"Aha!" Neal cries triumphantly. He rushes to the wheel, turning it hard to port and towards the open sea.
"Wait!" Emma cries in panic. "What about the others?"
Neal shoots her a sly grin and hands Henry the object he'd found moments before. It's an ivory horn, longer than her forearm with an intricate pair of what look to be wings etched near the base and brushed with a dark stain. She figures it must be a relic of Hook's time as a treasure-hunting pirate.
"Give that a good strong breath to let them know we're ready and on the move," Neal instructs. Henry nods, takes a deep breath, and blows. Emma is surprised at the gorgeous crystal clear note that issues forth. The awe sparkling in Henry's eyes as he lowers the horn brings a brief smile to her lips.
"You're back!"
Emma jumps at the exclamation, already strained nerves setting her heart racing as she turns to see Tinkerbell coming up from below deck. With her relief, she can admit that she hadn't quite trusted the fairy to meet them on the ship despite her solemn promises to aid them. Try something new, darling. She pushes his voice from her mind.
"Where are the rest?" Tinkerbell asks, worry seeping into her voice.
"There they are!" Henry cries, pointing towards the beach. Already the Jolly Roger has put some distance between them and the shore, but Emma can still make out the five figures bursting from the trees. There is no sign of the Lost Boys or Pan's damn shadow, but Emma is sure they can't be far behind.
Emma watches apprehensively as they all stop at the edge of the water, Hook grasping Regina's hand and her parents each grabbing hold of Rumple's. Just as she is about to comment on the strange Kumbaya moment, the group vanishes from the shore in a cloud of red and violet smoke. Emma gapes.
A whoosh sounds behind her and she whirls around as the group appears on the lower deck, stumbling clumsily apart.
"Awesome!" Henry exclaims, rushing down the steps and tackling Regina in a hug. Neal makes his way down to the group as well, tentatively embracing his father and giving Hook a quick nod.
Emma stays by the wheel, unsure if it's okay to step away. Besides, they're not safe yet. Hellos and huggy reunions can wait. More like you're inept at emotional anything. Sometimes, she really wishes she could smack the voice in her head.
Hook extricates himself from the bunch, walking briskly (if a bit unsteadily) up to the helm. "Bloody awful way to travel," Emma hears him grumble. She gives a tense laugh as he takes over.
Emma looks back at the beach again, glad to see it disappearing as the ship picks up more and more speed. "Now what?" Emma asks Hook.
"Now comes the part where we have a little faith," Hook replies with a roguish grin. She's glad to see he's regained some equilibrium in their brief time apart.
"And some pixie dust," Tinkerbell says behind her, holding up a dark pouch with a proud smile. Adjusting the wheel until he is satisfied they are on course for the moment, Hook gives the fairy a nod of assurance.
"So how does this work?" Emma asks. "Do we just dump it all over the ship?"
Hook laughs. "That would be a terrible waste darling. Besides, we need Tink's magic to activate it."
"But you said you didn't have magic anymore," Emma says to Tinkerbell, trying not to let her frustration show.
"I'm hoping we can fix that," Tinkerbell responds hesitantly.
"One restored pixie, coming right up," Hook interjects. "Henry, lad! Come on up here a moment."
Henry gives Regina another quick squeeze before jogging up to them. He stands opposite Emma and Tinkerbell, giving Hook a quizzical look. "What do you need?" he asks without hesitation.
Hook laughs. "As direct as your mother."
Emma punches him in the arm.
"I heard tell that you're the Truest Believer," Hook continues unfazed. Henry nods warily. "Ah. Well Tink here could use a bit of that belief right now, savvy?"
Henry's eyes widen as Hook gestures at Tinkerbell to come forward.
"You really are Tinkerbell, aren't you?!" Henry gasps as she kneels in front of him. The childish excitement in his eyes makes Emma's heart swell all over again.
"I am," Tinkerbell acknowledges. "But I'm a bit useless at the moment. Can you help me? No one's believed in me in a very long time, and I need your help to get everyone home."
Henry lights up before their eyes, nodding enthusiastically. "You're Tinkerbell! You're THE fairy. Of course I believe in you!"
It is Emma's turn to gasp in delight as the blonde begins to glow softly, shrinking until she is barely a foot tall and hovering in front of Henry.
"You did it, lad!" Hook exclaims. Henry smiles brightly in response.
Tinkerbell laughs with joy, the sound reminding Emma of small tinkling bells. So that's where her name comes from Emma thinks offhandedly. The newly restored fairy darts away, whirling up down and around the ship. Tinkerbell's joy is infectious, and Emma finds herself matching the smiles on Henry and Hook's faces.
Everywhere the fairy flies, there falls in her wake a fine shimmering dust. It coats every inch of the Jolly Roger until the ship glimmers faintly in the moonlight. Henry excitedly follows her progress, running down around the lower deck and mimicking her progress as she weaves through the sails. Emma tracks Tinkerbell's path, quirking a brow as the fairy ends by circling Hook a few times, showering him in pixie dust.
"A bit overzealous there, Tink," Hook says with a grin.
"A ship is only as good as her Captain," Tinkerbell's chirping voice responds.
Hook leans forward, whispering something against the wheel that Emma can't catch. "Are you talking to your ship?" she asks incredulously.
"Aye. Just watch, love. The Jolly and I are quite the team."
Emma makes to comment when the ship gives a small lurch and she stumbles. Regaining her balance, she looks around gasps.
They are no longer on the ocean. Instead, the ship is rising, growing closer and closer to the stars that Emma had spent so many nights in Neverland staring at, studying. She knows that flying home had been the plan all along. But the part of her that still has a bit of trouble with all this fairytale stuff, that doubts, screams that this should be impossible. And how many impossible things have you seen in the last year?
At some point she is going to have to seriously revisit her beliefs system. "So? How do we get to Storybrooke from here?"
Hook points.
"Second star to the right? Really?" Emma asks in disbelief as she looks where he's indicating.
"Actually it's the one on the left," Hook corrects. "We are leaving Neverland after all."
"HENRY!"
Regina's frantic cry has Emma's heart racing as her attention snaps to the queen. It abruptly stops as she sees what has the normally unflappable queen so terrified.
"Mom!" Henry cries out in panic. He's struggling frantically, kicking wildly as he is lifted from the deck by Pan's shadow.
"No!" Emma yells. Gold and Regina stand helplessly, afraid of hitting Henry if they use magic. The shadow's already risen too high for Neal or her parents to help.
Emma doesn't think. She clambers onto the rail as the shadow flies in her direction with Henry. Leaping forward she just barely manages to grasp Henry's ankle, her momentum dragging them all back down to the deck.
Henry slips from the shadow's grasp as they crash into the unforgiving wood. Regina, Neal and Gold quickly surround them as her parents help her to her feet. Somewhere behind her, Emma hears Hook growl in frustration, unable to leave the helm for fear of something sending them off course at such a crucial moment.
Emma pulls Henry into her, unsheathing her sword as she watches the skies for the shadow.
"Where is it?!" David yells.
"Behind you!" Hook warns and Regina is the first to whip around, unleashing a fiery blast that grazes the shadow sneaking up on them.
"Careful!" Hook yells as the flames barely miss one of the sails. "If any those sails catch we're done."
Regina hisses in frustration but nods in understanding. The shadow dives again, knocking the Charmings aside and Emma finds herself barely managing to pull Henry out of its path as the wretched thing speeds through the spot they'd just been occupying.
"Stay away from my son!" Neal yells, swiping ineffectively at the demonic menace. Gold backs him up with a blast of magic.
The shadow releases a high grating screech as the magic hits it. For a moment, Emma thinks Gold's attack has worked.
But there's a sudden blast of wind and they are all knocked unceremoniously to the deck, dazed and vulnerable.
Emma's eyes widen as the shadow's glowing gaze meets hers, and she can almost swear that it smiles in triumph as it shifts its gaze to Henry who is shaking beside her.
Emma feels her rage flare. They are so close to finally getting home.
She is not going to let some fucking brat's twisted shadow take her son away from her. She is not going to lose Henry again.
As the shadow dives forward Emma leaps up in front of Henry.
She distantly recognizes the sound of Hook and her parents screaming her name in terror, but her attention is fixed on the demon coming for her son.
Embracing all the rage and frustration and pain of the last week on this damned island, Emma remembers Regina's words about letting her emotions guide her magic. Remembers with fury Neal's tragic expression and Hook's heartbreaking reaction to this shadow's cruel illusion.
Never again will she let her weaknesses and insecurities be manipulated. Never again will she allow this monster to do what it did to two people she cares about. Never again will she let someone take her family from her.
Never again she thinks, feeling the electric storm raging in her core, and she lets the churning thing inside her loose.
A hideous sound rents the air as golden light bursts from her, engulfing the shadow in light so bright Emma is forced to shut her eyes against it. The hellish scream echoes, carrying on for long agonizing moments, and Emma grinds her palms desperately into her ears trying to block it out.
Finally, the sound cuts off and the light fades.
Dazed and blinking spots from her vision, Emma looks to find the shadow gone.
"Mom?"
Emma turns and looks at Henry. He's still lying on the deck, staring up at her with wide eyes. For one heart-stopping moment, Emma thinks he's looking at her in fear.
His face shifts into a brilliant smile and Emma feels herself breathe again. "That was awesome!" he cries, launching himself into her waist and squeezing her tightly. She can't even bring herself to care about having trouble breathing as she hugs him back just as tightly.
"Emma, you did it!" Neal says, coming up to them and wrapping the two of them up in his arms.
Emma looks up, meeting Regina's eyes over Henry's head. She is thrown for a moment by the gratefulness she can clearly see there, but she understands the relief in them that she is sure is mirrored in her own eyes. She lets Neal have another moment before she shrugs him gently off, nudging Henry slightly as well. The kid understands immediately and turns to hug Regina just as tightly.
"Emma?"
Emma turns to where Mary Margaret stands with David, tears of relief shining in both their eyes. Remembering the terror in their voices as she faced down the shadow, she can feel her own eyes burning as she crosses the short distance between them. They wrap her in their embrace instantly, and Emma can't stop the soft sob as she finally lets her parents' love and comfort wash over her.
"I see you've finally learned to believe, Miss Swan," Gold's voice interrupts. "Destroying Pan's shadow is no small feat, especially for a novice." Emma turns to him, still pissed about how he handled the situation in the jungle, her parents a solid presence at her back.
"Like I said when we got to Neverland. I'm a mother," she says firmly. Looking to Henry and Regina she continues, "And no one is taking our son away again."
Emma looks to Hook who meets her gaze instantly. She can see the last remnants of panic fading from his ocean eyes, his fingers still squeezing the wheel in a white-knuckled grip, and she gives him a small reassuring nod. I'm okay. After a moment, he nods hesitantly back.
"I think it's time we finally went home," Neal says, drawing Emma's attention. She smiles at him in agreement.
David clears his throat roughly and all eyes turn to him. Emma feels her stomach drop as she remembers the secret he'd revealed in Echo Cave not three days before. "I can't go with you," he says sadly. "If I leave Neverland, the spring's magic will cease and the dreamshade will kill me."
Emma can't deal with the look on Mary Margaret's face. Her mother's face is pale, eyes shining with indecision and heartbreak as a part of her wars between staying in what amounts to self-enforced exile with the cursed love of her life, or returning to Storybrooke without him to be with her daughter and grandson. Emma is secretly (or not-so-secretly if the holes Hook is staring into the back of her head are any indication) terrified of the choice she'll make.
"I can help with that!" Tinkerbell pipes up, and Emma briefly wonders where the fairy had got to when the shadow attacked.
The looks Snow and Charming both give the fairy are pathetically hopeful. Emma just savagely stomps on the spark of hope that's trying to kindle in her own heart. She won't let herself wish in vain.
Emma turns to head to the upper deck, not wanting to get swept up in the hopeful atmosphere, when Tinkerbell explains. "When we cross realms and Neverland's magic fades, I can use the last of the pixie dust to counter the dreamshade!"
Emma's head snaps up and she immediately seeks out Hook for confirmation of the fairy's words. There's a strange tormented expression on his face as he asks, "Are you absolutely certain, Tink?"
Emma hears the fairy's indignant huff. "Of course I'm sure! I'd never offer if I wasn't."
Hook stares Tinkerbell down for a long moment, searching for any uncertainty, before flicking Emma a glance and nodding. "Alright then. Let's get the hell away from this bloody island."
Emma feels a significant weight lift as she turns back to her parents. She walks up to them, stopping beside them as she fights the lump forming in her throat.
"We're going home, Emma," Mary Margaret whispers tearfully. "All of us."
Emma nods shakily as a few small tears escape her own traitorous eyes. David pulls her into their embrace and kisses her forehead before she can protest, and she finds in that moment that she never wants them to let go of her. Warmth presses into her side and Emma draws Henry effortlessly into the family hug.
Family. Her family. Despite everything Pan has thrown their way, Emma is leaving this accursed island with her son, Neal, her parents…Hook that smug little voice whispers, and Emma's too grateful to dismiss it this time.
She's not an orphan, not a lost girl anymore. She has people who love her, unconditionally.
Emma looks down at her son and smiles.
Henry grins in return and glances back over his shoulder, looking to the pirate in charge of getting them back to Storybrooke. "Guide us home, Captain!"
Emma shifts slightly to see Hook looking down at him in surprise before he nods and meets Emma's eyes. "As you wish."
Emma can't help but smile and roll her eyes in response.
...
And if I walk away
Please follow me,
If I walk away,
Please follow me.
Hope you enjoyed. The next chapter will be a bit delayed because I have a dress rehearsal and concert this weekend. Aside from that, the posting schedule will ideally be once a week for now. It may be twice depending on my work schedule each week. For constant updates on the status of this story, head to my Tumblr (reignofdreams) and look up the tag 'fic: iiwa'.