Jack's POV
The moon had told me not to give up hope. The Guardians had told me not to give up hope. Jamie and the other kids had told me not to give up hope. I told myself that I would not give up hope. I told myself that I would believe in myself as long as they believed in me. I told myself that I would keep them believing in me forever, but even that is an awful long time. Forever is a long time.
My name is Jack Frost, and I am a Guardian. I have already found my center, but to keep up that center and to keep on letting myself know that I am still alive and can keep on spreading joy to kids, I have to control that by letting the blood come out of my own skin. Maybe having a magic staff is not all that helpful to me since I use it as a way to hurt myself, but it helps others, and I cannot let the Guardians take it away from me.
The moon tells me many things, but the one thing the moon did not tell me was to use the magic staff to inflict pain on myself, and I cannot even think of what the other guardians would say if they found out that I do so.
I keep picturing them. I keep having envisions in my mind of the guardians finding out, as well as the mixed memories of my childhood and home. I think too much. Sometimes I cannot even function properly without thinking something through first or even thinking at all. I always have to think.
The moon symbols to let me know that there is still hope. It lets me know that I am still alive, and that kids still believe in me, but sometimes it is not enough. Sometimes I need more than that, even if it means bringing a little pain onto myself, but there will always be pain that you cannot escape from. There will always be fear. Pitch told me that, and even though I heard from him so long ago, I know that he is right.
I turn on the sink and start to run the water, splashing some on my face to try and wake myself up. When I open my eyes back up, I stare closely into the mirror, a shadowy black figure's reflection looking back at me. It is a reflection that is not my own. I drop my magic staff onto the bathroom floor, my mind starting to whirl frantically.
"'Ay, mate, you gonna be outta there soon?" Bunnymund calls from outside the bathroom.
I feel frozen in spot, still staring at the shadowy black figure. I nod back slowly, suddenly realizing that Bunnymund cannot see me inside the bathroom so I raise my voice back at him and try to keep it calm. "You are a bunny, therefore you are like a pet. Use the bushes outside."
"Jack, I ain't a pet, 'aight? I jus' glad you ain't calling me a kangaroo no more, but jus' 'cause I'm a bunny ain't mean that I don't get the same privileges that you do! I gotta use the bathroom, 'aight?" Bunnymund yells back, but his voice starts to fade as I keep on staring at the reflection that isn't mine, my mind unable to function properly.
"Pitch?" I breathe out quietly, my eyes staring closely into the mirror, which soon fogs up and I am then left with my own fogged up reflection staring back at me.
I cannot function. I cannot think, yet I feel my mind starting to whirl. Pitch had left so long ago, so why had I just seen him staring back at me through the mirror? Am I my own nightmare? Am I starting to become Pitch?
But he is gone. My name is Jack Frost, and I am a guardian. I will tell myself that many times until I believe it. I do believe it, so why did I see Pitch's reflection? I spread joy. I am not fear. I am not a nightmare. I am only fearful of myself. I am only a nightmare to myself. I only inflict pain on myself in order to reassure myself that I am still alive, that I am still there, and that I am still believed in by myself and others.
My name is Jack Frost, and I am a Guardian. I know that. I know who I am, so why did Pitch come back? Is this another sign that has been left untold?
My name is Jack Frost, and I am a Guardian.
My name is Jack Frost, and I am a Guardian.
My name is Jack Frost, and I am a Guardian, but now I know that I am something else too.