A/N: A small idea I had during a most depressing night, so I thought of Axel, and how he must have felt during Kingdom hearts 2. This is a 'One-shot' please, enjoy. Suicidal Irony
I was alone once. I couldn't stand it, stand the very thought of having nobody. It was just terrifying... When Roxas walked into my life it made me feel as if I was no longer alone. I had someone, someone I cared about. He made me feel whole; like I had a heart... Like I was someone.
Yeah, that makes me sound stupid, but it's true. Nobodies don't have a heart; they don't feel, but we, we're different, I'm sure. They tell us that it's us remembering how we once felt, but that can't be right, and I refuse to believe it.
Now everything's changed, he keeps walking away from me, trying to escape, trying to save him from himself. I wish I could help, but where do I even begin? I try so hard, I really do; to rekindle that flame, that spark, that memory of me. It never works. Perhaps I'm not important... Perhaps I've never meant anything to him.
Nothing ever works for me; nothing ever has, and so i'm left here, left here alone drowning in my own sorrow, this puddle of sadness that overwhelms me.
Maybe I was meant to be alone, forever in this eternal darkness, with these flames that so happily dance around me, their fiery tendrils clawing at me, mocking me as it prods and pokes at the surface of my pale skin.
I'm in control of them, their actions, their movements, their very power, yet, sometimes I feel as if they're the ones that own me, like I'm the puppet, played by the strings that they control.
It's not a pleasant feeling, being undermined, and looked down on. To be a simple possession, a belonging, to be used so freely... It's quite ironic really. How I 'feel' this way, and still pity the flames. Pity the flames that are bound by my word.
I sigh heavily as I sit on the edge of the desolate clock tower. The large clock is ticking, and the seconds are counting down. I find I'm sitting here, forever waiting for those days in the past, where he would come and join me and we would sit in peaceful solitude, forever waiting for a moment that will surely never happen again. It's all but a memory now, locked away safely in my head, in my heart. But sometimes... even memories fade away...
It angers me; although it isn't his fault, I know, so I blame it on myself. I take the blame for all these mistakes, this mistake. The fact that right now I'm not fighting with all I have, and Letting them taking him away.
I wanted to protect him, but there was nothing I could do, how is one simply meant to stop the inevitable from occurring?
Sora...
They are indeed one in the same, or so they say, but I think otherwise. Sora is not Roxas, and Roxas is not Sora. They are different, very different. They are their own, but sadly one cannot be without the other. They can't be whole again.
I sigh heavily again. The time draws near. It's not too long till he disappears. It's hard not to shed a tear, to give in to the waterfall that threatens to spill from behind my closed lids.
How can I be so weak?
Now it's back to the same routine, day in, day out. Wishing I had a second chance... Wishing I had a heart, and striving for a goal that would someday be complete.
What was their worth living for?
So sit on the clock tower, I continue to do, as forever I wonder.
Why did it have to be him?
This life was not worth living for, one who was not meant to exist. No one would surely miss me if I were gone. I sit on the very edge as I process the thought, will falling kill me? Can I truly die, be at peace once again? Can nobodies even die?
Where was the harm in trying?
I had always wondered what it would be like to fly, fly the skies without a worry, without a problem in the world and as I let myself go, as I fall from the edge, I hear my name.
"Axel " The once voice I want to hold dear forever, chiming at the back of my mind, so quiet, so low. It almost sounded too real to dismiss...
I hear the high pitched voice again as I fly freely through the air, down and down, dropping to what I'd hoped to be a painless, pleasant demise.
The last thing I feel is a sudden wave of overwhelming happiness but a distinct stab of sorrow at the irony, before I stop feeling, and stop thinking altogether.
I'm left with one final thought...
He remembered. Let me know what you think