Ben had woken up from a bad dream and had called out for his mummy but she had not come. After a while through his sobs and sniffles, he had half-heartedly began to cry out his latest nanny's name, but she hadn't come also.
Ben thought about looking for the tall man. He would appear when he felt lonely, and would tell him stories. He told really good stories.
No one else could see the tall man. His nannies never saw him. He had told his Daddy about him once, when he had been home during a break in racing, while Ben was sat on his knee playing with the golden dice in the cockpit of the Falcon. His Daddy had then looked worried, playtime was cut short, and Ben felt bad about having said anything.
That night he had heard echoes of a conversation between his parents. He could not explain how he had heard it as he could tell that his parents were trying to whisper, but it was almost as if he could feel what was being said in his head. His mother had said it was usual for children to have imaginary friends and that he would grow out of it. Ben hoped not - the tall man was his friend and didn't want him to go. His Daddy had talked about the Force and the dark side and how he hoped Ben would be able to lead a normal life. His Mummy had argued, saying that she hadn't had a normal upbringing, and how she had been loved by her parents, Grandma Breha and Grandpa Bail. The Force could help Ben in the pollytockle arena.
Grandma Breha was a Queen, and that was why everyone called his Mummy Princess. Their kingdom didn't exist anymore—it had been blown up by a star—but Mummy still liked to go for meetings and had to tell people what to do in the pollytockle arena. Ben didn't want to have to go there when he was older. It sounded boring, lots of grown ups arguing about boring things, and he had grown to resent the place that kept his Mummy from him.
No, Ben wanted to be a pilot and go off and have adventures in the Falcon—the fastest ship ever—with his Daddy and Uncle Chewie. Chewie was Daddy's tall friend. He was hairy and gave warm but smelly hugs. He told stories in Shri-wook. He had taught Ben how to count to ten in Shri-wook, but it gave him a sore throat when he practiced.
Ben's tall friend didn't give hugs or let him pretend to fly the Falcon in the pilots seat, but he was there when Ben needed him. Ben decided that he would get out of bed and find him. The tall man said that if he thought about him really hard he would come and keep him company if his Mummy wasn't there.
Ben's bare feet made a slapping noise against the polished floor and the door to his room opened with a swish. The sweat from his nightmare felt cold against the air conditioning and he shivered. He rubbed his eyes and yawned as he padded down the corridor.
He thought really hard about the tall man, and as if by magic he appeared.
"Ben Solo," he said with a smile. "Did you have a bad dream?"
Hugging himself, Ben had nodded.
"And your mother didn't come?" His face became more thoughtful.
Ben's bottom lip wobbled. Just once he wanted her to be there when he opened his eyes, to see her warm brown eyes filled with love and concern.
"Would you like me to tell you a story?"
Ben forced a smile and nodded. "Yes, please." He was about to allow the tall man to lead him back to his room when a movement caught his eye. A girl at the end of the corridor walking towards them, then almost breaking into a run before she swirled away and disappeared.
Ben cried out, "A ghost!"
He expected the tall man to say "there's no such thing as ghosts" like his Daddy did when Ben had told him the things he was frightened of. Instead the tall man looked thoughtful.
"A ghost...what did it look like?" The tall man looked down the corridor with Ben, and Ben felt good that the tall man had believed him without question. That was why he liked the tall man, and why they were friends. Ben could tell him anything without fear of strange looks or reproach.
"It was a woman and she was coming this way." Ben stepped closer to the tall man.
"There is no need to fear ghosts. Ghosts come from the Force. When a person strong in the Force dies and becomes one with the Force, they can still speak to us and pass on their knowledge." The tall man smiled down at Ben.
Was the tall man a Force ghost? No one else could see him, so that would make sense. "I wonder who she was?"
"I wonder too, young Ben. It may have been Queen Amidala."
The tall man had told him about Queen Amidala. She was the most beautiful woman there had ever been, and used to go out amongst the common folk disguised as a maid. She had had lots of adventures. She had fallen in love with a Jedi, but the Jedi had killed her when she was having a baby in a fit of jealousy.
But the ghost hadn't looked like a Queen, or a maid. Maids to important people still wore nice clothes as important people didn't like to be around people that looked poor.
"I don't think she was a Queen." Ben tried to remember the polite way his Mummy had told him to say someone looked poor. "She was dressed simply."
"Hmmm..." The tall man led Ben into his room. Ben climbed up onto the bed and wriggled back under the crisp white sheets, pulling out a toy X Wing and TIE fighter that had somehow ended up sharing the space. "Did she look like she came from a hot planet?"
Ben gave a serious expression as he thought hard. The girl had only been there for seconds at best. He tried his hardest to remember and recalled that her clothes had looked floaty and light. She had looked out of place on Coruscant. She must have felt cold in the corridor. Ben had. "Yeah, I think so."
The tall man tucked Ben in and Ben settled into a comfy spot for a story that was sure to follow.
"I wonder if she was Shmi Skywalker?"
"Skywalker, like Uncle Luke? Was she a Jedi?"
"No, she was not a Jedi, but she had a son. Two Jedi went to Tatooine where Shmi and her young son were slaves. They made a wager that Shmi's son would win a pod race even though pod races were very dangerous for humans."
Ben nodded. He knew all about pod races. They looked fast and exciting. His Daddy liked them but Mummy didn't approve. That's why Daddy only watched them when Mummy wasn't there.
"Shmi's son won the race and the Jedi took him with them as a prize to train as a Jedi too, but they left Shmi behind as a slave. The Jedi believe that a Jedi should have no attachment he was never allowed to visit his mother."
Ben felt sorry for Shmi and her son. They must have felt very scared and lonely. He wondered if all Jedi were lonely and missed their Mummies? Uncle Luke never knew his Mummy as his Mummy and Daddy died during the Clone Wars, but he had a sister. And Uncle Luke was famous and everyone loved him because he was a hero. Ben wondered if he could ask for a sister...
"Shmi was sold to a moisture farmer and went to live in the desert, where she was captured by Sand People. The farmer and his family did not go to rescue her."
Ben's expression dropped.
"In the meantime her son had become a powerful Jedi, and the Force showed him that his mother was in trouble. In defiance of the Jedi, he came back to Tattoine to rescue her, but he was too late. Shmi died in her son's arms."
Ben's mouth hung open subconsciously.
"The Jedi son was angry and decided that he would avenge his mother's death and killed every being in the camp. He felt the power of the dark side and grew stronger. He realised that there were more than just the Sand People to blame—it was the Jedi that had left his mother behind and kept them apart. He began to see the Jedi for what they truly were, corrupt and self serving."
Ben was captivated.
"And do you know who that Jedi was?"
"Revan?" Ben answered eagerly. He loved stories of Revan, who had defied the Jedi Council to rescue worlds from the Mandalorians who were attacking innocents. He became Dark Lord of the Sith, but then fought against the Sith once his apprentice Malak betrayed him.
"No, young Ben. Not Revan. Shmi's son was Anakin Skywalker."
Ben smiled. The tall man had lots of good stories about Anakin Skywalker. He was a good Jedi, and fought against the corrupt Jedi. He wondered if Anakin was one of Uncle Luke's ancestors.
Ben fell asleep once more but his dreams turned dark. In his slumber he ran from Sand People, knowing that his family would be too late to save him, if they even noticed he was missing at all...
—-
Time went by and Ben grew from child, to adolescent to adult. His parents began to think Ben was a monster and sent him away to train as a Jedi with his Uncle Luke.
Ben did not want to be a Jedi—they were corrupt. He didn't want to be royalty or a politician or a Jedi. He just wanted to be a pilot. And he didn't want to be alone. Apparently that was too much to ask.
Some of his fellow students felt he was only there because he was the nephew of their Master, and that the reason he had done so well was favouritism. There was no favouritism. If anything his Uncle seemed to expect more of him than the others.
Sometimes his fellow students let him join in with their games. One girl even kissed him and said she liked him in private, but had then laughed about it with the others afterwards. Most times they mocked him and called him 'Prince Ben' or 'your majesty' which he hated, and they knew it.
He hadn't wanted any of this and felt more isolated and different than ever. The tall man, now confirmed as Snoke, no longer came to visit him at the Training Temple. If he hadn't already felt the gnaw of darkness eating away at him, the training had amplified it.
Then his own family had betrayed him. He had been told by his fellow students that his mother had confirmed in the Senate that her parents, Ben's grandparents, were not Queen Breha and Senator Bail Organa of Alderaan. Ben was the grandson of Padme Amidala, Queen and Senator, and of legendary Jedi Knight, Anakin Skywalker, who had torn down the Jedi Order with Emperor Palpatine and had become fearsome and awesome Darth Vader. Why had his mother told the entire galaxy before him? Luke knew, his father knew—everyone knew before Ben.
That he was the grandson of Darth Vader and Queen Amidala seemed to answer a lot of Ben's questions about himself. He had not understood why his parents and Uncle had lied to him and everyone for so long, at least not until his peers had started to suggest that he should be utterly ashamed of his lineage. A brief glimpse of the building anger and resentment momentarily unleashed at least ensured those that teased him started to give him a wide berth.
Ben felt totally lost at sea within his emotions. Confusion, anger, suffering, and as always, aching loneliness. But from this Ben had started to draw strength. This was his legacy, the dark side. He could feel the release that surrendering to his darker impulses promised.
Uncle Luke had felt the power within Ben, had feared it, had tried to murder Ben in his sleep. Ben had then pulled the hut down on them both, burned down the training temple and fled with those of his fellow Padawans who had chosen to live. Those who did not want to leave, Ben had shown them the power of the dark side personally.
The survivors went to the only consistent person in Ben's life, Snoke.
Snoke had continued their training, had made Ben Master of the dark Knights of Ren, and each had chosen their own name as part of their transformation from Jedi to something entirely new. Ben had chosen for himself the name of Kylo, and had left poor lonely homesick Ben in his past with his uncaring family. Ben was weak—Kylo was strong. Snoke whispered in his ear that with the correct guidance maybe Kylo could be a new Vader...
As a reward for choosing the right path, Snoke had given him a gift. The charred and deformed mask of his grandfather, still humming with the energy of the dark side. Kylo Ren revered the relic he had been given, a link to the grandfather he had been denied, a memento of a family member who would never disappoint him.
In return, he pledged Snoke his lifelong service and devotion he and became his apprentice. Soon after Snoke became Supreme Leader his first command had been for Kylo to lead a mission on a remote mining moon in the Outer Rim and take it for the First Order. On this mission he was also to eliminate one of his knights whose progress was poor at best.
Kylo had had his reservations, had promised to train the knight harder, but Snoke had lectured him about sentimentality, and had told Kylo that one thing that the Sith had gotten right was that the weak must be eliminated to truly be strong.
It was the core of light amongst the gathering dark within Kylo that Snoke felt would help them bring the galaxy under the control of the First Order. Together they would have ultimate power. Kylo would emulate the great acts of Anakin and Vader combined, fuelled by the continual conflict within his own soul. The Supreme Leader was convinced this was the key to Vader's strength and therefore Kylo's.
The First Order would surpass and be stronger than that which had come before, not bound to the ancient Sith religion but taking its strengths and building upon them. They would not repeat the shortsighted mistakes of the Empire.
Being all too aware of the end of Palpatine and Vader, and Luke Skywalker's part in the same, Snoke had warned Kylo of the cost of betrayal—not that there was any thought of the same running through Kylo's mind. They were not Sith and there was no antiquated rule of two. Besides, Snoke knew him too well, knew what he thinking as it went through his mind and anticipated his every move. The Supreme Leader jabbed at Kylo's emotional wounds when it pleased him, a reminder of who was the Master and who was the pupil. The Supreme Leader's power was absolute, his mastery of the Force unsurpassed—no one could challenge him.
Except maybe Luke. Kylo mentally recoiled at the thought. One day, he hoped, he would have the chance to slay that demon. Kylo wished to learn all that he could from his Master in advance of any family reunion, to become near invincible himself.
The tall man, Snoke, the Supreme Leader, had always been there for him. If Kylo had not fallen under his protection as a child he would still be weak, lost, clinging to his mother's skirts and trying to fulfil the expectations placed upon him as the son of a princess and the nephew of Luke Skywalker. Snoke deserved Kylo's absolute loyalty, had earned it. Kylo became a willing disciple, focused on pleasing his Master. Becoming stronger, darker, more powerful was his only aim.
As directed his Knights of Ren took the moon from the resisting miners and as the condemned knight was occupied silencing the whimpers of the almost dead, Kylo closed in behind him and plunged his lightsaber through the knight's chest. He felt a twinge at the act but it passed briefly.
It was then that a supposed corpse got to her feet. For a few seconds Kylo paused, the familiarity of her appearance striking a chord in him as he struggled to remember how he may know this girl. There was something...
The girl began to back away, fear in her eyes. Kylo wished that the rain and dark would cease so he could see clearly through his visor. She was slight of build with dark hair roughly tied up. He noted that she was dressed inappropriately for such a wet and barren place, more for heat and sand as the rain drenched her hair and her light tunic which began to cling to her form. She was out of place, as if she shouldn't be here.
A long buried memory sprang to mind. The ghost in the corridor.
For a moment Kylo became Ben.
This was not the ghost of Shmi Skywalker. He had seen holos of his great grandmother and this was not her. Bastila Shan? No, he had seen pictures and she was more rounded while this girl was waif-like, dressed almost in rags that clung and began to hint at what lay underneath...
Kylo took three steps forward and the ghost girl was gone. He was alone with his knights who had not shared the vision.
Kneeling before his Master, he regaled the tale. The Supreme Leader was concerned and seemed fixated on finding a famous name to attribute to her. He too wished to find an explanation for her repeated appearances.
Snoke was concerned, Kylo knew. It had taken seconds for Ben to resurface under Kylo's mask. And although her reappearance was brief, she had not been forgotten as before. After years of living like a monk, dedicated only to the cause, some beast had awoken within him. The beast was hungry, and fed upon ever more frustrating thoughts of damp clinging fabric, curves on a slim form but a hint at hidden toughness, wide eyes and a pretty mouth...
After a while he began to forget what she had actually looked like and what he had substituted from his own mind.
Regularly, as he slept, the girl would torture him. She would allow him to get closer and closer before disappearing. On one occasion he was close enough that he had been about to wind his arm around her soaked waist and pull her towards him, his other hand poised to brush away a fat droplet of rain from her cheekbone.
He had become infatuated with a girl he did not know existed.
The Supreme Leader of course was aware. Snoke reminded him that Padme Amidala was a key catalyst for Vader. Snoke had then forbidden any kind of sexual indulgence without careful consideration of the suitability of the partner. The Skywalker gene was far too important to be frittered away on someone unworthy to bear the next generation.
Was the girl worthy? Who was she? Would they ever meet? Was she real?
It was another set of questions that fanned the flame of the swirling inferno that was his everyday state of mind.
—
He had seen her again. While he was walking the frozen forest of Starkiller Base after a particularly vicious lesson from the Supreme Leader.
Ever so briefly she had ran towards him through the trees then stumbled backwards. As always, not dressed for the weather, never ageing.
The moment had paused his trek. It had taken him a few seconds to see that the ghost had been real enough to leave footprints in the snow...
—-
Circling around Jakku, Kylo berated himself on his missed opportunity to prevent the Resistance Pilot's escape. He had felt the conflict in FN-2187 and had let the traitor live and breathe in their midst.
Kylo could not help but feel something significant was stirring, something had awoken and was concealed to him just beyond the horizon. And whatever it was would have far reaching consequences. That it involved the map to Luke Skywalker shook Kylo to the core.
He wanted that map. Wanted to confront his treacherous Uncle on his own terms. But now the map was in a Resistance droid, in the hands of a traitor, who was most likely taking it to his Mother.
Lieutenant Mitaka had interrupted his mental self-flagellation. Had told him FN-2187 had assisted the droid in boarding a Correllian YT model freighter. That was the final straw.
Kylo had lashed out in frustration at the console before him, reducing it to molten plastic and metal.
"The Falcon," his mind screamed, but his childhood plaything had long since been lost. It was probably scrap by now. Certainly it was no longer in the possession of his father, he had heard. Jakku WAS a desert junkyard, however...
Coincidence, he told himself. The Falcon was no longer the mascot of the Rebellion or the Resistance. Some small time smuggler was probably using it to transport ill gotten gains, if they hadn't already been blown out of the sky.
His tantrum vented for now, he ventured one further question through gritted teeth. "Anything else?"
The young Lieutenant paused and Kylo felt the Force surge. This was significant, the news Mitaka was about to impart.
"The two were accompanied by a girl."
The Force screamed at him.
Kylo Force pulled the nervous officer to him by the throat. "What girl?"