"Dear Online Journal Thing,

Still having these stupid feelings again. I don't understand why this is happening to me. I mean...I have a family of my own. Chichi may be kinda a annoying person sometimes, but that's why I love her. She's strong and independent, plus very persistent. My sons Goten and Gohan are the best little things I ever made (Gohan's a full grown adult, but whatever X3). I don't know what I'll do without any of them. Still, I feel like something is missing from my life. Something that hasn't been caught yet. I shouldn't feel this way...he's already happy with his family. It's just...ugh I don't know!

I never always did had these feelings. When I first met him, he wanted to eradicate the human species and take the Dragon Balls. I fought him and...well I don't want to say I beat him. We both were out of energy by the end of it so it wasn't fully fair to call a winner. That day I knew he had some good in him and told my best friend Krillen not to kill him. Years past and he became one of us. During that time...he started to be around Bulma a lot. That's when it started...

Honestly, I still don't know why I feel the way I feel. It's just when him and Bulma started being a "thing", it broke me. I started being around him more often and trying to get close like Bulma does, but it didn't work out in my favor. I started blushing more and feeling my heart beat increasing the more I'm near him. It's just so weird to me...yet it feels right...

Don't even get me started on the moments he has with his family! It breaks my heart when I see him kiss Bulma, playing with Bra, and even training with Trunks. I don't show that side of me to anyone. I just act cheerful, happy, and optimistic to cover up my inner sadness and envy. It's weird how him and Bulma aren't even married. At least that's what I think. Neither of them have any wedding pictures or wedding rings so you'll assume they aren't. I guess that means he's still free? I wish...

I haven't told anyone about this and don't plan to anytime soon. No one knows the pain I'm going through. Everyone always thinks I'm always happy and a clown with no brain. Truth be told, I'm not. No one can be happy all the time nor have no brain. I'm smarter then people think. No matter though...it's not like my brain can fix this. I won't give up though! I can't give him up yet! I'll find a way...somehow...

I guess I'll leave at that for now. No point spending my day in my room. Chichi will be suspiscious then. This day shall be fun...

Ikanaide..."

Goku clicked the save button shut down his laptop. He's glad Chichi rewarded him with his laptop. It's help him to write down his feelings and thoughts greatly. He sighed and cracked his fingers and knuckles. Typing sure does a great toll of work for your hands. He got up and walked to the bathroom, closing the door behind him and looking at himself in the mirror. Everyone who looks at Goku will tell you he's a handsome man with the best smile in the cosmos. Chichi will say he's an adorable trouble maker. Goten and Gohan will say their dad is one of a kind, one special dude! Goku smiled and chuckled to himself.

"How do they think some weird things? Handsome? Cute? OK I see cute. But...attractive? How though? Why though? Weird...I don't think so."

Goku turned on the sink and washed his face like he does every morning. He wasn't that comfortable with people's complements with his looks. He always thought he looked normal...not sexy or attractive. He won't take those kinds of complements from anyone, not even ChiChi. Usually he'll just blush in embarassment and tell them to stop. ChiChi dosen't listen most of the time which forces Goku to be a little stern. She just blushes and pouts, but Goku dosen't care and walks away. Their relationship isn't as bad as a lot people assume it was, it was just very complex and confusing. They never had really bad fights before or told each other that they hated each other (which they don't). People just don't understand.

Goku wiped his face and started brushing his teeth. He could hear Goten watching TV and ChiChi cooking today's breakfast. 'Soon I'm gonna get yelled at for being late...again. I'll just say that I overslept again. Screw trying to reason with that woman.' He humed a little tune to himself while finishing up his little morning rutine. It was a tune he overheard Vegeta sing to Bra. She was having trouble sleeping because there was a storm happening outside. Just like her mother, Bra is scared of storms. Vegeta cleared his throat and sang in the most beautifulest voice Goku's ever heard. Surprising since Vegeta has a deep voice, but has a angelic voice. Bra fell asleep instantly and Vegeta stayed with her for a bit more. When confronting Bulma about his voice, she said he does that a lot.

"Vegeta told me his mother used to sing him that tune when he was a baby. Isn't that just adorable!? I mean he never talks about his mom before! I don't know why...but I'm gonna find out more!"

"Oh Bulma...your such a crazy woman. Never once changed ever since I met you. Well, less perverted. God I hope..."

Goku walked out of his bathroom and walked downstairs. Goten was watching Spongebob when he went down. Goku smiled and flopped on the couch along side his son. "Heya Goten!"

"Morning dad! Mom! Dad's awake!"

Chichi peeked in the living room and sighed, shaking her head. "Goku why must you be late for breakfast huh? I had to pass the time cooking extra thanks to you! What's wrong?"

"Oh um...overslept again. Sorry." Goku lied, rubbing the back of his head.

"I swear Goku! I'm gonna have to set up an alarm clock because of you!"

"Hehehe! Nah your fine! At least I'm up! Now let's eat up Chi! I know you must be starving."

Goku got up and lifted ChiChi up and sat her down on a chair. She blushed and was about to say something, but her husband stuffed her mouth full of pancakes. "Love you ChiChi!"

ChiChi swallowed her food and giggled. "Love you to you ape."