Heero's Greatest Weakness

Marry Me.

By Animeguera

Written for Endless Reflection Challenge.

The Zero System was supposed to have been destroyed with Wing Zero, but Heero had recovered the system and had been attempting to restore its functionality, limited, for years.

It had been more than twelve years since the end of the Eve Wars, only eleven since a child had so easily almost overtaken the Earth's Sphere and the colonies. That day, was the day peace had been truly won.

So many years after, he entered Relena's life again. Entering her life had not been easy as is depicted in so many romance novels or films. Heero was not easily forgiven for abandoning her.

They had been together for almost five years, after two years of Heero courting her ridiculously consistently. Relena was sure the Preventers were paying him entirely too much money based on the number of flowers she received weekly from him. Heero's current life made him content.

"Marry me." Relena said one night, after their throes of passion had ended. Heero had Relena in his arms, she rested her head on his bare chest, enjoying the slowing of his beating heart. She toyed with the hairs on his chest.

Heero froze. Relena waited, knowing that Heero was never a man to waste words. "No." He spoke so softly, Relena almost didn't hear him. She did hear his rejection though. Relena was used to hearing no often from other members of parliament, from the ESUN government. She had changed their minds on the Mars Terraforming project and she would change Heeros.

Relena sighed. "Why?" She asked.

"Fear." Is what he responded, but she didn't know what he feared. Did he fear her or himself?

Heero's nightmares started that night again. Relena's proposal reminded him of how far he had come since the war ended and how much farther he still had to go to regain his humanity. He had told Relena he was afraid, but that was only partly true. He was petrified and he didn't know why. He awoke without remembering his dreams.

He called the one person he knew would understand his fear.

He explained what Relena had asked him. Heero waited as Trowa composed his response. "What are you afraid of?"

"I don't know." Heero answered honestly.

"Do you have an opposition to marriage in general?"

"No."

"Did you stop loving Relena?"

"No."

"So, you are not opposed to them separately, just together that is terrifying you."

"Apparently." It was a logical conclusion, one he should've thought on his own.

"Any other information would be helpful in arriving at the correct conclusion."

"I'm having nightmares again."

Trowa merely agreed to his statement, not offering any other guidance on the matter. "What are you nightmares about?"

"I can never remember."

"Find out what terrifies you at night, you might be able to figure out how it relates to marrying Relena." Was all the tall brunette offered in the video screen. The call closed, leaving Heero wondering how such insight on himself could come from someone else. He was also thinking about the last time his fears were shown clearly to him.

The Sanc Kingdom was under attack by the OZ. Heero was in the Epyon suit, fighting to keep the city safe from attack. He wanted to follow Noin's orders and not stray from the formation. He felt his control wavering and wanted to get away from everyone else in case he lost control in Zero. Again.

He followed some straggling suits as they lead away from the city, taking them down. He looked back and saw even more suits heading into the city. Attacking. Zero calculated with impunity the consequences of Heero's actions.

It showed Relena watching the destruction from her school. Why had she gone into the bunker with the rest of the students, he wondered. A laser beam fired right through the window of the school, headed straight for Relena.

Heero watched as the laser beam destroyed her, leaving no trace of her in the world. "Relena." He said with horror. He knew he was going to lose control soon.

Heero knew what actions he had to take to find his true fears. Only Zero could show him.

He should've warned the others of his plan, but they would have stopped him from using the ZERO system to find his fears. Heero recorded a short message explaining his disappearance and his current location, should he not be able to leave ZERO's grasp within a few hours.

He set the message to send to the few he trusted after twelve hours. He sat himself in his makeshift medical bed. His apartment was on the bad side of town, had sparse furnishings and even less food, but he did spend some money on medical and computer equipment. Always prepared for the worst. Relena had called him a prepper. He wasn't sure what that meant and she wouldn't stop laughing long enough to explain it to him.

That reminded him of why he needed to do this, not for himself but for Relena. He strapped himself into the bed, set up the IV to drip and made sure the large large would last him for more than a few days. The constant beep of his heart monitor filled the air. He quickly set the countdown for the Zero system as he set the helmet on his head. He attempted to strap the final strap on the refurbished psychiatric bed. He failed, but then Zero had overtaken his senses.

Darkness enveloped him and then nothing.

The first vision he saw was of Relena back at St. Gabriels. The enemy was attacking the school. He watched from his mobile suit as a large piece of the building falling towards Relena. Heero acted without thinking, but his suit was too slow. The chunks of building crushed Relena.

Heero's heart stopped. He couldn't stop it. He watched Relena die.

Heero woke up with a start, his body drenched in sweat. This was the first time he remembered his nightmare.

He took in his surroundings, alert, he reached for the pistol he usually had hidden underneath his pillow. It was missing. He reached under his mattress, also missing. This was not his apartment. It wasn't Relena's home either.

The walls were pale and lightly colored blue. He attempted the door and stepped outside. The hallway was lined with doors similar to his.

For not the first time in his life, Heero woke up in a strange location with no recollection of how he had arrived there. The only question was how he was going to leave.

He returned to his room to find it had changed. It was no longer a bedroom, it had become a psychologist's office. Heero shut the door wary of the possibility he was hallucinating. He had entered the wrong door possibly. He tried to leave, but the door had become locked.

"Sit down, Zero One."

No one ever called him that. Heero sat. He realized where he was. He hadn't been taken away. He was lost in Zero's hallucination.

05/12/15

-Guera-