Warnings: Not much to warn about. Bad attempts at humour and some slashy finger-licking.

Disclaimer: Nope, not mine. Unfortunately. :)

The proper way of wooing one's employee

It was all L's fault. It was late, Light's blood sugar was running low and he would have welcomed sleep a good few hours ago. But damn him if he'd say anything to L, who seemed to thrive under the extreme conditions of sleep deprivation and sugar based diet. Damn him if he showed weakness in front of him, and asking L to share some of his sweets would definitely count as such. Not that L would even share, most likely he would just huddle his precious source of sugar closer and... hiss at him. Or something. Not that Light would really even want any of his sweets, anyway. He was more of a potato chip kind of man. Besides, it was him who had suggested that they'd stay in the office after hours and try if they could think of some new ways to best Kira. Admitting weakness would be admitting failure, and that was clearly not an option.

L's flavour of the day (and apparently all he had eaten the whole day) was half molten toffee cubes; sticky, slimy and mind-bendingly sweet pieces of sugar and butter that Watari had made for L using a special recipe. L's eyes were focused somewhere far away and he was frowning, probably thinking up ideas of how to capture Kira, how to find him, or how to figure out his true identity. That was all he ever thought about, but then again, that was his job, wasn't it, being the best detective in the world and all that.

Light was trying very hard to keep his mind firmly on the case, but was finding it surprisingly difficult. He did a mental check up and observed increased heart rate, somewhat shallower breathing than normal, decreased attention span, and was it this hot in here a moment ago? All the symptoms seemed to occur because L was eating those disgustingly sweet, sticky toffees. And carefully licking his fingers after each cube. And then fishing another confection between his long, thin, elegant fingers and starting the whole thing over again.

Wait, elegant? That wasn't really necessary, now, was it? No, L's fingers were absolutely normal, completely average. Not nimble or dexterous or artistic or way too beautiful to be manly hands, no. Average. Normal. Right. What was it about the short attention span? Light huffed in annoyance and crossed his feet again.

"Is there something wrong, Light-kun?" L's voice broke through Light's wandering thoughts.

"No, Ruyzaki, nothing is wrong. Absolutely nothing at all."

"You have crossed your feet seven times in the last ten minutes, dropped the pen you've been fiddling with twice and sighed more than I ever thought possible. I can nearly hear you rolling your eyes at short intervals. Something is definitely wrong if even I can pick it up."

"As I said, nothing's wrong. I was just thinking about the case, that's all."

L's stare was piercing as he looked into Light's eyes, prodding his mental wards with his sharp mind. Not for the first time Light concentrated on projecting an image of a perfectly innocent man to L, and not for the first time he felt like an insect on a needle while doing so. Struggle was pointless, L saw everything. For a moment Light thought he'd slipped, felt like his mind was laid bare for everyone to see, but then, like so many times before, L eventually turned his attention elsewhere and Light's secrets were safe for a little while longer.

"If Light-kun insists," L finally amended. "...Toffee?" he then asked reluctantly, nudging the plate a few millimetres to Light's direction as a way of offering the sweets to him.

"No, thank you."

"Suit yourself, then." L was obviously happy not having to share his sticky treat and started munching on the sweets as soon as he'd huddled the plate close again.

Light deliberately uncrossed his feet, put the pen down on to the table and concentrated on breathing normally just for the heck of it. He took a deep breath and blew the air upwards to get his fringe off his eyes. Right. On to the task at hand, then.

Moments later he was deep in thought, searching for a way to out-think, out-smart and out-last L during the next months of Kira-hunting. It was a competition, after all. A loud slurping noise interrupted him. He looked up to see L fully engrossed with licking and sucking his fingers, meticulously cleaning them of the melting toffee. L appeared almost too thorough with his task, and had it been anyone else, Light would have been suspicious of him doing it on purpose.

"What is it?" L inquired after all the fingers were spotlessly clean (if not sparkly), raising his head to meet Light's apprehensive stare. He frowned as he realized Light's irritation. The finger he'd been suckling on reached out seemingly on its own accord to find another bit of toffee. Light mentally rolled his eyes and wondered for the umpteenth time since he's met the other man, how someone so smart could simultaneously be so incredibly dense.

"Nothing," Light eventually answered, after first trying to convey his point of normal people don't try to eat their fingers to L by means of telepathy.

Because what could he possibly say? Stop playing with your fingers; it gives me mental images that are highly distracting? I can't get any work done because you're simply there? Come here and show me what else you can do with that talented mouth of yours? No, no and most definitely no. Words just made the whole thing sound ridiculous. Made it sound almost like L meant something to him. Like he wanted something from L, like he cared one bit what L thought of him. Which of course was not true in the least.

"No?" L was watching Light very closely. There was no way L could read minds, was there? Light felt a wave of panic swell in the pit of his stomach. The chain between them jingled as another toffee was fished from the table. "Not even if I do this?" L licked the molten treat in between his fingers slowly, maintaining eye contact with Light and carefully observing and categorizing every reaction his behaviour caused in the other man.

Light swallowed the lump in his throat and tried to think of a good answer; something that didn't involve completely embarrassing himself in front of the man would be preferable. Nothing convincing enough came up, though, so he decided to try and distract L with a non-answer.

"Wh- um. What are you doing, L- Ryuzaki?" Well that could have gone better. Smoother.

"Nothing out of ordinary, Light-kun. Unlike you. You don't seem to be working in your full capacity today. I'm trying to figure out the root of your troubles," L said in a conversational tone of voice, all the while licking and mouthing and occasionally biting the creamy treat in his hand. But mostly just licking it. And Light was feeling like a bug in a pin again. A very uncomfortable, nervous and even a little tempted and turned on bug, but a bug nonetheless.

"And what have you found out so far, if I may ask?" Light was nearly proud of his much improved ability to form coherent sentences.

"You may. I have found out that you seem to have developed a distinct oral fixation lately. And that it seems to be particularly attuned to me and my functions, namely my fingers. And that with a little encouraging, you could probably be easily talked into exploring that fixation a little further."

"Oh. Well... How likely you think it is?" Light questioned dazedly, almost without realizing he'd spoken at all. He was torn between dancing in delight and feeling utterly embarrassed that L had figured him out so easily.

"About 92%. Eight percent chance that I'm wrong and you're really just annoyed with my eating habits, but I'm willing to take my chances with this." L had finished eating his toffee by the end of his reasoning and was looking at Light like he'd just solved a not-even-that-hard case.

Light remained frozen to where he was sitting as the implications of L's conclusions hit him. Could it be? L wanted to... And with him? Really? Light's mind was working like mad as he processed this sudden revelation, all the while keeping his face a carefully neutral mask.

"Okay, now it's down to 86%," L said quietly when Light still wasn't saying anything. "You see, it's morally questionable if an individual in higher position proposes a person working for him, but if the situation were reversed and the employee would be the one to instigate the relationship between the two, then things would be on a morally more solid ground." L looked at Light almost pleadingly. "All the person in a higher position could do, really, was to find a way to attract the certain employees attention and then hope that the employee wasn't particularly dense, which Light-kun of course isn't, and after the connection would have been accomplished, to hope against hope that the employee's feelings were somewhat similar to min- to the employer's feelings." L turned away slightly, as if he were nervous. As if he had feelings."So this is as far as I can go. There's nothing more for me to do but to just lick my fingers till they're wrinkly and hope that Light-kun will have the courage to eventually do something about that fixation of his." L was looking almost lost now; he was chewing his thumb and throwing worried glances at Light with his legs folded up in a subconscious gesture of self protection.

Or then it was just a force of a habit of always sitting like that, Light couldn't really tell. L had been sitting like that for the whole day, so maybe he was just over analyzing it all.

"So you'd readily make a move at me when the chances of me letting you down were eight percent, but when they're only six percentage points lower you look like a kicked puppy?" Light picked up the chain connecting the two men together, the one he'd up until now detested whole heartedly, but now found it full of potentially very exiting purposes. He tugged at it experimentally.

"Well, fourteen percent chance of failure is almost too high. It is too high, I wouldn't have said anything if it were that high to begin with." L was half smiling now, tensing his arm so that the chain remained tight between them. Then, with a soft lunge, L's chair began to move towards Light. L grabbed the chair with one hand and the plate of toffees with the other, and crossing the distance with only small amount of wobbling and wheel-squeeking.

"These would make an excellent vehicle," L said as he'd safely crossed the distance, clearly pondering the prospects of using the office chairs as such in the future. Light reached for the toffees that were now conveniently available and took a piece in his fingers. L turned his keen attention to the sweet, then to Light. He seemed undecided of whether he would enjoy seeing one of his toffees go or not, when Light took pity on him and offered a third option.

"Would you like to have this?"

L looked relieved and nodded, then seemed to catch up with Light's meaning. A slow smile spread on to his face and he nodded some more, leaning towards Light's fingers and parting his lips slightly in anticipation. Light almost forgot to feed the confection to L, so mesmerised was he staring at the enticing image in front of him. When he did finally come to his senses he softly touched L's lower lip with his finger, tracing the curve he'd so many times seen the detective absentmindedly play with. L sighed and his eyes fell closed as his mouth opened further, to taste more of the toffee or to get more of Light inside him, he seemed indifferent as to which.

Light chose both options by placing the sweet thing inside L's mouth. He was about to retract his fingers when L's hand darted out and his fingers closed around Light's wrist, keeping the hand firmly in place. L sucked the fingers deeper into his warm slick and wet mouth, licked them clean of all and every possible trace of toffee, and started doing things to Light's hand that were probably illegal in some countries. Or should be, anyway. In an embarrassingly short time Light found himself turning into a warm piece of mushy substance that was in serious danger of either melting into a puddle on the floor or floating up and away like a huge Light-shaped balloon until he reached the ceiling. Anything with such drastic effects would surely be banned from general public.

He didn't even realize he'd closed his eyes until L finally released his finger with a soft pop.

"I think we're done here for the day, wouldn't Light-kun agree?"

"Hmm? What do you mean, Ryuzaki?" Light was staring at L dazedly, blinking slowly.

"I'm merely suggesting that since we aren't likely to get any more work done this evening, we should call it a day and retire to our rooms. Unless Light-kun wishes to continue this think tank –idea of his?"

"No. I mean, yes. I mean... How come you can still talk like that and I can't even think straight?" Light huffed out exasperated, signalling vividly with both hands.

"I'm not the one who got their bones liquefied and sucked through their fingers not five minutes ago, if that has something to do with Light-kun's ability to form long words."

Light stared at L incredulously, realizing to snap his mouth shut only after catching L staring at it quite interestedly. He sputtered and muttered, huffed and puffed, but the reality was that L had been right. He hadn't expected the man to be quite as blunt about it, though. Eventually Light calmed down enough to face the fact that he now had little choice but to get used to L's peculiar ways or find alternative ways to deal with them. So instead of storming out of the office in indignation like he wanted to, he leaned in closer to L.

"I can't wait to see what it takes to make you lose that ability, Ryuzaki."

Light had to think fast to keep from dislocating a shoulder as L made a beeline for their rooms upstairs.

Fin.