Author's Notes: So don't worry, I am working on The First Five Times and the 3rd part should be up on Monday. But this little bit just grabbed me and wouldn't let go so I had to get it out there. I just needed a little explanation why Brennan would go to Guatemala for 6 weeks when her partner just had brain surgery and amnesia. I was shooting for a double drabble, but over shot so now it's a triple drabble.
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You sat by his side for four days, desperately waiting for your partner to come back to you. But when he awoke, he wasn't your partner anymore. He was a man who believed he loved you, that you were married and going to have a baby. He was a man who looked at you with so much love and desire that it took your breath away.
It was the way you always wanted him to look at you.
But it wasn't your partner, not really.
And he wasn't looking at you, not really. He was looking at some fictional woman created by his damaged brain filtering the words of your story.
When his brain began to heal and he started to remember and to call you Bones, it was a bit of a relief. You didn't have to wonder about this other woman, this idealized version of you, this you that was Booth's wife.
And yet, you missed seeing that look of love in his warm chocolate eyes. You missed having someone think you were his everything, instead of just his emotionally stunted, socially awkward squint partner. Because you knew that's all you could ever be to him. You were too damaged, too weird to deserve the love of a good man like Booth and it hurt, hurt more than you would ever admit.
So when the doctor assured you Booth would be fine in a few days and an old grad school friend told you about a last minute spot at a dig in Guatemala, you jumped on the chance to go. To run away from the feelings you never wanted to have.
You only hoped that six weeks would be enough to forget how it felt to have Booth's love.
Because you knew it would never happen again.
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