A cold autumn breeze blew through the forest as Hidan and Sasori walked down a dirt path headed north. Why were they headed north? Who fucking knew! Hidan sure as hell didn't! That stupid good-for-nothing atheist puppet wouldn't tell him a jashin damned thing! In-fact, the only thing he did know was that his decision to never wear a shirt no matter what season it was, was pissing him off. He was freezing.

Even though he had no idea where they were going, he assumed he would hate it. The grass was getting greener, the flowers seemed to smile at him and sigh contented sighs, and brightly colored mushrooms littered the ground. He looked toward Sasori and glared.

"Where the fuck are we!" He demanded.

Sasori, being inside Hiruko, answered in a deep menacing tone, "Shut up."

"No! We've been walking FOREVER and those flowers are really starting to fucking creep me out!" Sasori turned his eyes to look at the beaming daisies then back to the road without care. "Oi! I'm talking to you, you ugly puppet!" He received no response.

After a few more hours of walking until about 10pm and freezing to death, Hidan could make out a bridge in the distance, hovering over the bluest water he'd ever seen in his life. 'this place is like a fucking acid trip' he thought to himself. Sasori then stopped short, surprising Hidan and making him stop as well.

"Beyond that river is a castle. Our mission is to go inside that castle and grab their princess," Sasori spoke.

"Why?"

"Because we can get money for her."

"Who cares about money?"

"Leader does."

"SO!"

"And so does the man who will be your new partner in a few weeks."

"Why do I care?"

Sasori was getting very frustrated very quickly. He didn't care if Hidan wanted to do the mission, he had to do the mission. So without another word he turned and started walking towards the bridge again. Hidan merely grumbled and followed him.

When they reached the castle Sasori killed the two guards standing outside with Hiruko's poison laced tail and motioned for Hidan to run in and grab her. As Hidan ran through the empty halls of the castle he couldn't help wonder what this 'princess' might look like. He hoped she had a big rack so he at least had something to look at back at base. It was so boring there! He'd met this 'Kakazu' guy that was supposed to be his partner and even he was boring! It was a sad fate to befall Hidan once they were assigned to work together. -But for now, he was to work with Sasori; the beast of a man with no feelings, no nerve endings, and no sense of fun. Sasori's partner had run away after another member, Itachi Uchiha, had cut his hand off and was now waiting for a replacement. However, Hidan could not be his replacement, he was meant to be 'Kakazulu's' partner because apparently he had an anger problem. FUN.

Hidan, so deep in his thoughts, nearly missed the room labeled 'Her Highness, Princess Peach'. He stopped and snickered. 'Princess Peach' He thought to himself, 'how adorable.' His thoughts were laced with sarcasm as he kicked the door in. The room contained a tall dresser with a shorter one next to it, a nightstand with a lamp on it, and a big double bed holding a (used to be sleeping) princess in it. The princess now, however, was startled awake and looking franticly about the room questioning in her mind as to what had made the noise. In the back of her mind a voice screamed 'Run! Run now! It's Bowser, he's back! Run for the window!' But when she heard a man's deep voice chuckle, only curiosity remained in her mind.

Her sleepy eyes came into focus to behold a tall, (bare-chested), silver haired man standing in the doorway of her room. Not some dinosaur-dog-turtle, but a man. She gasped and held a hand covering her mouth.

Hidan took in the sight in front of him, the thin and pale princess sporting messy long blond hair and a loose pink nightgown was just sitting in her bed staring at him. She was obviously cold (cough cold cough obviously cough get it?) from being torn from her warm blankets so quickly, and took the hand from her mouth to assist the other in covering her small form. 'yep. She's got a nice rack on her. And if I get bored of that maybe she can make me some sandwiches!:D' Thought Hidan.

He was soon ripped from his thoughts by her quiet and sweet voice, "W-who are you?"

"I've been ordered to, uh, kinda fucking take you to this place and then make your… friends pay to get you back," he said this realizing that he hadn't seen a single other person in the castle on the way here. He hopped for everyone's sake they were all sleeping like her.

"O-oh god... Please don't. Please don't do anything to me. I don't want to be a burden on anyone anymore," she begged. Hidan paid no attention to this, however, and walked up to her, grabbing her around her waist and throwing her over his shoulder.

"As much as I'd like to stay and chat about it," He began, "Sasori-fucker is probably already fucking pissed that I'm taking so long and I won't hear the end of it. So lesgo!" He ran down the halls of the castle with Peach over his shoulder trying to keep her short gown from exposing her. Once outside the castle peach only heard the voices of her captures as they walked.

"What took you so long?" came a deep and threatening voice she only guessed belonged to this 'Sasori'.

"get off my fucking back you fucking heathen," the reply came from the silver-haired man.

"It doesn't take that long to grab a 90 pound girl and run."

"Oi! She's NOT 90 pounds! Look at her fucking rack!" Peach blushed. This man was so vulgar.

"Where are your manners? This is a princess," She could sense his sarcasm and could practically hear his smirk. She sunk and a few tears escaped from her eyes. The further they walked, the more she sunk. The grass became a dull green; the flowers became sparse and soon were gone all-together. She began to feel very cold pricks hit her skin; gradually the pricks grew bigger getting her soaked from head to toe. She looked at her hair, and heard their voices again.

"Ahhhh!" a contented sigh from her carrier, "The world is back to normal. I fucking love the rain!" Rain? She thought. Is that what this was? It never 'rained' back at the castle. Or even the little cell in bower's castle meant just for her. She decided she didn't like rain.

An irritated sigh "Shut. Up." The other replied.

"Calm down. Aren't you glad that nature is back to normal?"

"How was it not normal?"

"IT LOOKED LIKE FUCKING SOMETHING I WOULD SEE IF I DID DRUGS!"

"Huh."

"Tsk… How about you, Princess?"

Peach was so surprised that he'd said something to her, she couldn't think of a response.

"Oi! I'm talking to you!" He screamed

"I-i suppose I don't like this rain very much…" She replied with no hesitation, afraid of being yelled at again.

"Well I like it just fine. You know why?"

"No… why?" Making conversation didn't seem so bad she supposed…

"because your little dress-thing is totally see-through when it's wet," he stated with a grin.

She felt her cheeks get hot and squirmed in his hold "Let go of me!"

Hidan sighed, annoyed. Though he put her on her feet. Keeping her eyes on Hidan, she covered her breasts. After all, she didn't wear a bra to bed. Who would? "Don't touch me!" realizing he was taking this time to stare at her panties, not to listen to her, she finished by yelling "Why can't S-Sasori-"she hoped she got his name right- "carry me!"

Looking over to where 'Sasori' should be, she noticed a large man on all fours, a mask covering the bottom half of his face, and a large silver stinger-like thing coming out like a tail standing there. She gasped and covered her mouth as not to scream. The big stinger moved towards her and hovered in front of her.

"Hidan, you ass, you scared her so bad she wants to ride with me."

Hidan laughed and smiled happily. Peach could feel her arms shake, the shock wore off and now the cold and fatigue were getting to her. She put them to her sides but then felt her legs shake in warning that they'd collapse soon. 'I wish this was just Bowser' she thought as her eyes slipped closed and blackness enveloped her mind.

Hidan frowned at the passed-out princess on the ground. He hadn't meant to scare her that bad. Maybe she was just weak minded. "Poor little princess," he said aloud though mostly to himself. "your ugliness killed her," He cheered himself up and smiled. He gingerly picked her up and carried her bridal style the rest of the way to the base.

Peach woke up in a dark room she recognized as a dungeon cell. Though there was no blood present in her cell, she could smell it. It sickened her and made her gag. There was very dim lighting and a small window way out of her reach which provided a little moonlight. She could guess that it was about midnight. There was nothing in her cell, absolutely nothing. No bed, no toilet, no shelves, and thank god no chains. It was made of thick grey stone and bars of strong metal. What did they think she was going to do? Whip out some awesome ninja skills? Or have magical eyes that had special powers? She laughed to herself. That would be silly.

She sat in the middle of her cell just waiting for something to happen when she realized she had to pee really really badly. She shifted uncomfortably set on holding it as long as she could. About 10 minutes later she heard a door open and close, then footsteps came close to her. She closed her eyes tight and hid her head behind her arms on her knees. Suddenly the foot steps stopped and a woman cleared her throat. Surprised at the female voice, her head darted up to see a tall woman standing there with bright cerulean blue hair, a few piercings, and lots of eye liner on. The only thing about her that made Peach any less afraid was that 1, she was female and 2, she smiled warmly down at Peach.

"Hello," She said "My name is Konan."

Peach smiled "I'm P- … Peach." Deciding halfway through her sentence not to address herself as Princess.

Konan took out a ring of keys and unlocked the cell door. "Zetsu has reported that you woke up. So I came down."

"How did Z-Zetsu know I was awake?" Konan didn't answer her question. She did, however, open the door.

"Come with me. Ill get you to a bathroom and some food," Peach stood up and followed the blue haired woman out of the room and up some stairs on shaky legs before the woman paused in front of a door. "Behind this door is the main room of the Akatsuki base," She started. "I must warn you that I am the only woman in this organization, and I will most likely be the only one to show you respect. Even so, We will watch you in shifts for you cannot leave your cell without supervision. These rules are set down by our leader and are non-negotiable. I will escort you to a bathroom where you will bathe, and other things, then I will escort you to the kitchen. You will eat at the table most likely with the other members. After this you will spend the night in one of the rooms. I felt bad, and asked leader-sama personally if for your first night you could rest in a bed." Konan smiled and moved her hand toward the door but Peach caught it.

Peach, blinking back tears, asked "What room?"

"The room meant for new members because there is an empty bed there."

"New member's room?"

"When we receive a new member we need time in order to pair him with the member he will work best with. During this time he will stay in the new members' room for when he is assigned a partner, he will move into his partner's room. To share a room waists less money." Konan explained.

"So then who would be sharing the room with me?" She dared ask.

"Hidan is staying in there at the moment."

Peach didn't know who Hidan was, but she knew she didn't want to spend the night with a man. "Can't I stay… with you?"

"Well," Konan giggled "The partner I share my room with is kind of my boyfriend so I think that'd be a little awkward for you."

Peach was confused "Why?"

"He and I share a bed."

"So?"

"… So we'd be doing stuff in it," If this girl was this dense maybe she regretted being nice.

"What stuff?"

"SEX."

"What's that?"

Konan gaped in disbelief. She didn't know what sex was? "How old are you?"

"17…"

"And you don't know how to make babies!"

"With love!" Peach beamed.

Konan was taken aback by that. What kind of people wouldn't tell their soon-to-be-adult daughter what sex was? After considering her options and wanting to move on, she smiled at Peach. "Yep."

Walking into the 'main room' slowly behind Konan, Peach took in her surroundings. It was a large room, and unlike her castle, looked very homey. The kitchen was right next to the main room, she could tell. In it was a large table that had 10 chairs around it, by the entrance there was a man with spiked orange hair introducing a man with long blond hair and a cheeky smile to a small man sporting short red hair. At the table sat a large blue man eating with huge sharp teeth, alongside a man with long black hair and the most beautiful eyes she'd ever seen. She didn't realize Konan had stopped walking, and ran into her.

"I'm sorry" She spoke.

Konan didn't listen to her apology and pointed to the entrance "that is Pein, though you will address him as 'Leader-sama'. That's Sasori, and I believe that is Sasori's new partner Deidara."

"There are two Sasoris'?"

"Nope. Here at the table, this is Kisame and Itachi." Kisame took a minute from his food to smile a toothy grin at her and Itachi just stared at her.

"Why is there an indecent woman in here?" Itachi asked. Peach had completely forgotten that she only wore her night gown and covered herself with her arms.

"How sweet Itachi-san. Are you talking about me or her?" Konan sounded annoyed with Itachi, but she continued walking so Peach followed. They walked down a hallway and stopped in front of an open door. It seemed to be a bathroom and Peach, remembering her full bladder, ran inside closing the door behind her and locked it.

While Peach used the facilities, Konan waited outside the door thinking. She contemplated telling Peach what sex was, most of all. Hidan walked by and smirked at her, then Pein walked up standing in front of her.

"Is she staying in a bed or her cell?" He asked.

"I'm not sure. She doesn't seem to like the idea of sharing a room with one of these men." Her face showed no expression, only respect toward her leader.

"I can't imagine why. Make her decide soon."

"Yes sir," Konan replied. Pein gave a small smirk, leaning down and kissing her softly. Suddenly Peach opened the bathroom door all clean and in a fluffy white towel, and the two separated.

Pein looked at her "Where are you sleeping tonight?" He demanded.

Peach blushed at the boy and shuttered out "I-in the b-b-bed I suppose…" He was so utterly frightening. His eyes were all white with black swirls inside and all his piercings didn't help. She quickly remembered what Konan had said to her and added "In the b-bed, Leader-s-sama."

Pein smiled and nodded. "Very well. Enjoy it, you wont have it tomorrow," He gave Konan a quick peck on the lips and walked away.

"He's so frightening, Konan," Peach whispered "Do you love him?"

"I think I do.." She replied "Man does he melt my butter…" Peach looked at Konan confusedly for a minute "Come on," Konan spoke again "Lets get you some better clothes." With that she walked off toward a new location, Peach following close behind.

They walked to Konan's room and found Peach some clothes. Since she was un-accustomed to wearing pants Konan lent her a white night gown, and a blue dress. The dress went to her knees and while the dress itself was sleeveless and striped royal blue and white vertically, it had an under-dress a bit longer and solid blue. The solid under-dress also had sleeves which didn't cover her shoulders, but went down half way across her hand. The dress on Konan would have been flashy, showing off her upper legs, but Peach being just that much smaller then Konan made the dress look formal as it matched her eyes beautifully.

Peach quickly put the night gown on thankful that it wasn't see-through. Konan then escorted her down the hall to the kitchen where she dished some of the dinner they'd had earlier that day into a bowl and handed it to peach. Peach sat down at the table nervously across from a man with the sides of his mouth stitched shut. She looked up to see him staring at her blankly.

"Hello," she offered. The man continued to stare at her making her look down in defeat.

"Be nice Kakuzu!" She heard Konan yell from the kitchen. She was glad to have Konan there watching over her. Despite Konan's yelling, however, the man continued to stare. Giving up completely on trying to talk to this man, she focused on trying to eat with the two little sticks provided for her.

Grabbing the two sticks she tried to pick up some meat, whatever kind it was, and failed. She rotated them and tried again, failing. She had rotated them a third time when Deidara walked over and snickered.

"Kisame!" he yelled "Check it out, un! This chick doesn't know how to eat!" He laughed out loud and Kisame walked over.

"Woah, she doesn't!" he laughed a bit to himself before Deidara interrupted again.

"Did you have servants for that, Princess, un?" Peach tried to ignore their pestering and tried rotating them again. Of course she didn't have servants to feed her! She just didn't know what these things were! Taking one stick into her hand, she stabbed the meat and shoved it into her mouth. Chewing it quickly and swallowing, she turned to the loud-mouth blond and stuck her tongue out at him. Said blond frowned and walked away, Kakuzu smiling as the blonde's fun was ruined.