Paper Flowers, a twilight fanfic

Dear Baby,

I knew my life had changed when I met Harvey. He was so handsome, charming. It was like nothing in the world could ever bother him. We were in love. We spent every day together, sitting in the field. He gave me you. I could never hate the man who gave me you.

I love you.

I remember my birth. I caught one glimpse of blonde hair and green eyes, ghostly pale skin under fluorescent life before cool hands surrounded me. I was so small then, but I grew. The next thing I saw was the face of the angel. He was so pretty. He smiled at me.

October 1st

Dear Diary,

I thought my senior year of high school would be boring! A mysterious boy came to town today. Seems so cliche, doesn't it? I was at work when he walked in, all floppy brown hair and beautiful. He ordered a coffee. My hands were so shaky, I could barely fetch it for him.

He told me his name was Harvey and that he just moved here with his parents. He winked at me and said he hoped we had some classes together. I can't wait for school!

P.S Scooter is growing up. He's only in middle school and he already has a little girlfriend. I miss my baby brother!

October 7th

Harvey and I have been talking nonstop. He speaks so formally sometimes, it's like he's older than he is. I went to his house. His parents are never home, they work a lot. I wonder if they're as gorgeous as he is. I wonder if he'll get bored of me.

October 31st

I'm sorry! I haven't written in so long. I've been busy with school, work and Harvey. We went to a Halloween party together tonight, I just got home. We were dancing in the strobe lights and he leaned in and whispered to me.

"I really like you a lot, Sabrina," he whispered. To me! Can you believe it? He still hasn't kissed me. But his lips grazed my throat and I think I was on fire. He does things to my heart.

November 2nd

I feel like Harvey's hiding something. He's always so cold physically, like he's sick. He says it's just the weather. But he never really eats either, so it feels like maybe he really is sick.

I think I'm falling for him. Is it too soon?

November 12th

Harvey kissed me for the first time today. He seemed to be struggling the whole time, like it killed him to pull away. Why does he like me? I'm so plain. But now we're more than friends.

November 15th

Harvey is my boyfriend. Scooter hates him, but my parents love him. I think after we graduate, we'll get married. Am I crazy for thinking that? I've never met another person more right for me.

January 20th

I'm so sorry. I used to write in this diary every single day. Now my days are filled with work and school and Harvey, Harvey, Harvey. We haven't had sex yet, if that's what you're thinking. He acts so careful when he kisses me. I think he'd have a heart attack if I suggested we go further.

February 15th

Valentine's day was yesterday. Harvey got me a dozen pink roses, my favorites, and a CD of all my favorite songs. He also gave me a ring. It looks REALLY old. It's silver, and in the middle there's a sky blue stone. There's intricate silver designs all over it. I love it. I'll never take it off.

I love him. We spent the whole day together. He's amazing to me. Everyone at school watches us as we walk together. Some people think he's just using me, because he's much too beautiful for me, but I've seen his soul. He's my soulmate.

March 21st

It's spring break! I'm planning on spending every day with Harvey. His eyes are such an odd, dark brown. I could get lost in them. Scooter is acting out lately. He's just having growing pains, I guess. My parents love Harvey. I bet Mom's planning a wedding already. My grades have slipped a little bit, from A's to B's. It's not that big of a deal, though.

April 22nd

I finally told Harvey I love him. And you know what? He loves me too. I know I'll die loving him. We're going to grow old together, I can feel it in my bones. Tonight, when I go to his house, I'm going to be wearing something really sexy. I'm ready.

April 23rd

Finally! Last night, my outfit made Harvey's eyes burn with desire. We both knew it was time. It was a little painful, I have beep bruises on my collarbones and arms, but I think they're marks of true love. I could get addicted to that feeling.

April 29th

I'm crying so much lately. The slightest things set me off. I think I'm really stressed about graduating. Scooter called me something rude yesterday and I think I screamed for like, twenty minutes. I'll bring him home something from work to make up for it. I keep dreaming, too. I never dream, but lately I have been. Harvey's so kind for tolerating me like this.

May 3rd

Something's wrong. I must be crazy. There's a small but definite bump between my hips. I can't be putting on weight. Also, my period hasn't come. I'm probably just stressed, and that's what's throwing it off. I'm not… you know. We used protection. It was dark in the bedroom, but I heard the wrapper crinkling. It definitely didn't break.

Besides, I'm no expert, but if I was… I wouldn't be showing so soon, that's for sure. It's only been two weeks since we did it.

May 4th

I'm lying in bed in a cold sweat right now. It's three in the morning. I just woke up and I felt so odd… something just moved inside me. And I'm serious. A flutter, a whisper against my stomach. I'm home sick with the flu, I've been throwing up. Harvey is worried about me.

I'm going crazy.

May 5th

I'm pregnant.

The bump is growing like crazy. It's May so I can't hide it with hoodies, so I've been wearing loose dresses. I'm so scared. I know I love my baby. But I can't be so pregnant, we only did it at the end of April! And no, I DIDN'T cheat on Harvey!

Oh, God, what if he thinks I cheated? What am I going to tell him?

May 6th

I can't tell Harvey. I can't look my parents or Scooter in the eye. I have savings from working at the diner for the last three years. It was supposed to go to college, but now I likely won't even graduate.

I'm going to run away. I have everything I need packed and under my bed. There's a small town not far from here that I googled. It'll be easy for me to pretend I'm older, to hide there. I have a fake ID that Miranda made me. I withdrew all my money from the bank. I think that's suspicious, but I can't let them track me. I leave at three AM tonight.

May 7th

I write to you from my car, currently parked outside of Forks, Washington. I really did it, I really ran away. I left Scooter my woven bracelet, I left it on his dresser while he slept. I love him so much, my little baby brother.

Maybe I'll see him again one day. It's killing me not to be near Harvey. But I can't ruin his life with my own mistake. I was the one who seduced him.

May 8th

I found a landlord in Forks who was willing to look the other way with my shoddy ID. She could see that I'm obviously pregnant and hiding. Thank god, now I just need to find work. I cut all my beautiful hair and colored it brown. I'm planning on wearing lots of makeup so that I look different. It's amazing what you can do with eyeliner.

May 9th

I'm about to go to the doctor. The baby kicked me so hard, I have no choice. Maybe if I beg, they'll pretend I was never there. I don't have insurance or anything.

Later

I'm writing to you from the house of a strange man. His name is Doctor Cullen, he took me under his wing, sort of. He started asking me questions, and I started crying and spilled the whole story. He promised me he had a medical office at his home and that he could help me. He didn't seem to have any ulterior motives, so I let him take me home. I'm sitting on his couch while he's in the kitchen, whispering to his wife. He looks a lot like Harvey. I'm in so much pain, it's as though my heart will give out.

May 11th

I needed some time to process what Carlisle, the doctor, told me. He revealed to me that he's a vampire. Yes, I'm serious. An actual vampire. His whole family, his adopted teenage children are all vampires. They explained to me that Harvey is a vampire and likely didn't know I could get pregnant by him.

The baby growing inside me is what they call a hybrid. Carlisle's son, Edward, fell in love with a human girl just like me. Her name is Bella. She's so beautiful, and now she's a vampire. See, after they got married, they made love. Their daughter was a miracle. Bella almost died giving birth.

Her name is Renesmee. She was born only three years ago, which is crazy because she looks twelve. My baby will be like her. I have to make a choice, though.

I have to choose whether to live as a vampire or die giving birth.

My baby is due May 21st, judging by my measurements. So I have ten days to decide. The baby is half vampire, half human. It's growing really fast, and will continue to grow fast until it's an adult, when it'll stop and be immortal.

I'm also drinking blood, now, because that's what my baby wants. I don't look so frail anymore.

May 12th

They want me to call Harvey and tell him. He'll want to know where I am and that I'm safe. I can't believe he's a vampire. I can't believe he didn't tell me. I told the Cullens where Harvey lives. They're going to check on him and make sure he's okay. Apparently, vampires are good trackers, and it's odd that he hasn't found me yet.

I think it's because I'm surrounded by vampires here in Forks. Maybe he's scared to come here in case they're dangerous.

I don't know who I am anymore. Rose, the daughter, washed the dye out of my hair. It's back to being blonde now. That still doesn't help me, I still don't recognize the girl in the mirror.

May 14th

Edward just came back from seeing Harvey. He sat me down very gently and said he had something to tell me.

Edward can read minds, y'see, and he was suspicious from how Harvey looked. He went to confirm his suspicions. Edward knows Harvey!

His real name is Joham, apparently, and he's very old. I'm shellshocked. The way Edward knows Harvey is through a hybrid named Nahuel.

Nahuel is Harvey - or, Joham's son. He has a few children, all by different mothers, who all died. He goes around getting them pregnant! For science!

He did this to me on purpose. He's waiting for me to die so he can collect our child. I'm hoping that he really loved me. That maybe he chose me as a host and then fell for me really. I love him, I'm willing to forgive him of this.

When I told this to Edward, he shook his head sadly. I think he heard Joham's thoughts. He really doesn't love me.

I no longer want to live.

May 19th

Dear Baby,

When you look up into the night sky, think of me.

I am among the stars, and I'm so happy there.

I'm shining light down on you from the blanket of sky that is the universe.

See me in the flowers that grow, and the sun that hits the mountains just right.

Know that I love you, and I loved your dad, and not for a moment did I regret you.

I'm leaving you my diary, some photographs I took with me, and the ring. It's all I have.

Rosalie Cullen is going to take real good care of you. Her and her husband, Emmett, are going to be the best parents ever. Please know that you three have my blessing. Don't feel guilty when you call her Mommy, and call him Daddy. They're going to raise you and love you. You're a gift from heaven, don't you dare forget.

I'm letting them name you, too. I wrote some letters that I mailed to Scooter and my parents. I'm letting them get closure. They won't know about you, and I'm sorry for that. If you ever meet a man named Gabriel Miller, who goes by Scooter, don't date him because he's your uncle.

You're due any day now.

Love, from Sabrina Briella Miller.