A/N
I swear to God I did not plan this! My head just produced the scene and I had to write it down because I could totally see it happen. Which is embarrassing. Don't judge me! XD
"Well, this is something of a surprise," Rossi said, trying not to laugh. Alex kept staring up at the ceiling, blushing several deep shades of red.
"Don't rub it in," she whined and yanked at the chains. "It's bad enough as it is."
"I can imagine," he said, then chuckled. "No, wait, I can't."
"Dave, for heaven's sake, I'm tied to a hotel bed with handcuffs, and I'm completely naked under this blanket! If there is any way you can get me loose without Hotch finding out, I suggest you go ahead and do it."
JJ sat on the side of the bed, swept in the bathrobe. She too was blushing and at the same time trying to fight back laughter.
"I'm sorry Alex. I honestly thought I had the key."
"And you had to call Dave?!"
"I panicked, okay? Would you have preferred to have Derek or Spencer in here? Or Hotch himself?"
"Wasn't there anyone else you could call? Someone I don't know? A locksmith perhaps?"
"A locksmith, at midnight?"
"Knock it off, both of you. I'm not passing judgment," Rossi said. "And there is no need for Hotch to know about this, we're technically off duty since we caught the unsub at six this evening. Also, I have a relationship with Erin Strauss, so…" He fell silent for a moment while he inspected the cuffs. "…I can hardly tell you that your relationship is inappropriate."
He chuckled again.
"Though I'm not sure what protocol says about using the handcuffs for personal… uh, pleasure."
Alex groaned and threw her head back.
"Please God, kill me now."
"No need for such drastic actions. These cuffs are the bigger size, so if you get some soap or…" he had to struggle to keep a straight face, "…that body oil on the nightstand, I think you'll be able to wriggle your hands free. You'll probably get chafing marks, but…"
"Yeah, well, already got a case of those," she muttered to herself.
"I already know more than I want to, thanks" he said as JJ smeared the oil onto Alex's wrists.
"Yes, you know more than I want you to as well," Alex said and this time JJ couldn't hold back her amusement any longer. She kept her head down but shook with laughter.
As Alex finally pulled her hands free, Rossi was already by the door.
"I'm going back to my room and with a little luck I'll convince myself that this was just a weird dream."
"I should hope you're not dreaming of me tied to a bed!" Alex said, sounding scandalised, but Rossi was already gone. JJ put her arms around her and pulled her close, laughing so hard tears fell from her eyes.
"I'm so, so sorry."
"And I am so, so embarrassed," Alex shot back and pulled the covers over her head. JJ curled up close and kissed the older woman's neck.
"At least you got an orgasm. I never got that far."
Alex scoffed and turned around and kissed the corner of JJ's mouth.
"Serves you right, my sweet. Goodnight. Also, next time, you'll be the one tied up. Fair warning."