TRIGGER WARNINGS:
Suicide, overdosing, & possible self harm !
Please don't continue to read if these things bother you!
Thank you! :)

NOTES:
I needed to vent, so why not vent my personal problems in a story?
Please enjoy and give me your opinions on it if you can.

He had been left behind so many times. It became normal to him. It became normal to feel useless and uncared for by his own brothers. Ever since Karamatsu was left behind by his brothers while they praised Jyushimatsu on finding Ichimatsu's cat, he hasn't felt really... 'okay'. But he couldn't tell his brothers how he felt.

Besides, if he did, they'd shrug it off. "It's Karamatsu being dramatic again, as usual," one might say. "He needs to learn to stop being so pathetic." Someone else might add in. Then the group would laugh. At least that's what Karamatsu believed they would do. And not only did these thoughts plague him, they worsened as time went on and on. That didn't change his outwards personality, though. His brothers didn't realize he spent time crying at night and occasionally having self destructive behavior while he was alone. They only saw him as a flirty, narcissist who didn't seem to let things bother him.

And, boy. They were wrong as hell.

Most people who are full or themselves or arrogant are self conscious. They put on a fake smile to act as though they believe they're the best, when they really think they're the worst. And Karamatsu was the best at doing just that. Which made it easy to hide his emotions.

But as he began drowning deeper in these horrible thoughts he's been having, he began losing sight of himself and how he used to be. He couldn't remember the last time he felt normal. And his brothers still didn't have a clue.

One particular evening changed everything for the worst. Karamatsu came home late in the afternoon, with a broken nose and black eye. Dark bruises covered his face and arms. Choromatsu was the first to notice, pointing them out with a tinge of worry.

"Don't worry, my brother. I just had a disagreement with someone." Karamatsu said, with a nonchalant shrug. And he secretly hoped dearly at least one of his five other brothers would pay attention to him.

Then Choromatsu pushed it aside, returning to reading. "Alright." He said, losing his worry fairly quickly since Karamatsu told him not to worry. And that stung.

Karamatsu nodded and brushed past him and towards the bathroom. He bumped into Jyushimatsu and Osomatsu on the way. They both asked what happened, but Karamatsu said the same thing he did to Choromatsu. And they reacted the same way as well.

While away from the others, he spent time to look at his wounds and wipe up the blood from his nose and sticking a piece of toilet paper in his nostril to keep more from coming out. He then searched the medicine drawer for anything to take for his headache and bruise pain. Good thing there was still some aspirin left. But he seemed to stare at it for a while, his hands twitching a little. But eventually he just took two pills quickly and went to their bedroom, finding one of his fashion magazines to read in an attempt to pass time quickly until they go to bed. And hope for a better tomorrow.

However, Osomatsu peeked into their room. "Hey, Karamatsu. We're going to go out and play pachinko." He said, rubbing his nose with his finger, smiling. "Wanna come with us?"

Karamatsu put on a weak smile, keeping his head tilted down in an attempt to hide any other emotion in his face. "Not tonight. I'm a little tired." He replied.

Osomatsu shrugged. "Suit yourself." He said before leaving the room, joining up with his other brothers outside. Karamatsu lifted his head to watch them all leave. Once the door closed, leaving the house empty, he placed the magazine down and stood up.

Karamatsu had been planning something for a while.

Karamatsu made his way back to the bathroom and back to the medicine cabinet. His eyes stared at the bottle of asprin for a good long while. Beads of sweat formed on his forehead as he began to shake. He occasionally peeked out from the room to check no one was around, even though they had just left. With trembling hands, he took the bottle and fled to their room, shutting the door. And he stayed quiet, sitting on their flat bed, which seemed like just a blanket to most. Crossing his legs, he gazed at the bottle, staring yet again, reading the labels.

Instead of trying to talk himself out of it like he has for weeks, he swallowed thickly, opening the bottle. Which was hard with his sweaty hands. Why was he sweating? Why was his heart beating so hard? Karamatsu tried to ignore his body trying to stop him. Nothing could stop him, right? His brothers were out and there were no distractions. Not even their parents were around right now.

He opened his hand, pouring a few pills onto it. And he waited for a moment, rolling them around in his hand. In his mind, he imagined how his brothers would react.

"Oh, Karamatsu is dead. What a shame." He heard Osomatsu speaking within his imagination. But he sounded bored. Uncaring. "What a waste." Another one of this brothers would probably say. "I wish he did it sooner." He could hear Ichimatsu mumble.

Karamatsu snapped out of it, opening it mouth and dropping the pills inside. And swallowed.

One, five, ten, fifteen...

He did this several more times, until most of the bottle was finished off, only leaving around five single pills inside. Karamatsu could almost already feel nausea kicking in as he laid down on his part of the bed and waited for the storm to blow through.

Ten minutes passed, then twenty. Karamatsu thought it would be painless. Just take them, get tired, and have a permanent nap. But not only did he have extreme nausea, but he began hearing ringing in his ears. His hands twitched. With panic, his breathing quickened.

And by the time his brothers got home, he was laying in his own vomit. It was a miracle he was still even awake. But he looked like he hasn't slept in weeks. His face was red and tears soaked his face.

He was scared.

Osomatsu came in, along with his other brothers. They seemed happy. But Karamatsu couldn't hear them. Maybe they won at gambling, or maybe they're happy he's dying. He couldn't tell.

Karamatsu watched as they moved, his vision somewhat blurry. He saw Jyushimatsu get close to his face. Were those...tears in his eyes? But he was pulled back by the others. All he could hear was ringing. Loud ringing, and very faint whispering. Then he saw Choromatsu get closer for a moment, looking very frightened before turning around and saying something to the others.

The blurriness got worse, fading off and on. As if he were slipping in and out of consciousness. Until everything became a solid black.