Disclaimer: Not ours. Tolkien's.

Badtothebone: Okay, I'm bored, I've got nothing to do, Mum and Dad's away for 2 months, what can I do? (Bored, bored, bored)

Insanity:        Well, why don't we watch a movie with our friends, since you're so bored? (I'm bored too)

Badtothebone: Okay. What do you want to watch?

Insanity:        Lord of the Rings. (Please?)

Doorbell rings. Badtothebone goes downstairs. Steph, Kar Men and Jacob are there.

Badtothebone: Finally!

Everyone slumps on the couches and watches Lord of the Rings.

Steph:           (Giggles when Legolas appears)

Kar Men:       Hey, quit it!

Steph:           So? (Continues ogling Legolas)

Kar Men:       (Eww)

Something is heard nearby.

Badtothebone: (Switches off TV) There's something in this house. And it's not my cat. (Cuddles her cat, Alonzo, or Zo for short)

Insanity:        It's not my dog. (Pats his German Shepard, Hunter)

Badtothebone: (Sees Lord of the Rings characters minus the bad guys in the hall. The only ladies are Arwen, Galadriel and Eowyn) Ookay, this is bad. Real bad.

Aragorn:        Uh, Legolas? Are you still alive?

Jacob:           He's still breathing.

Steph:           Aww. I'd love to give him CPR.

Kar Men:       (Looks disgusted)

Hunter stupidly licks Legolas's face. Zo gives Hunter a look that says, "You dogs are so silly."

Legolas:        (Screams) Ahhh! Dog! Gandalf, save me!

Insanity:        Come on, Hunter's harmless. (Hunter nuzzles Insanity) See?

Steph:           (Faints, then wakes up and stares at Legolas non-stop)

Badtothebone: Great. I'll call for pizza. (Orders via telephone)

Pizza arrives.

Badtothebone: Help! (Staggers underneath 20 boxes of pizza)

Insanity:        (Helps his sister)

Badtothebone: Thanks.

Pippin:          What's pizza?

Jacob:           Food. Everyone's favorite, in fact.

Merry:          Well, if it's food, we'll eat it!

Boromir:        Pizza? Gondor has no pizza.

Insanity:        Gondor may have no pizza, but we have pizza. Come on, tuck in!

Everyone begins eating.

Aragorn:        Whatever this is, it tastes good! (Eats more pizza)

Legolas:        This must be an elven delicacy.

Kar Men:       (Snorts) Well, if elves are Italian, but they look more Swedish to me.

Badtothebone: You're wrong, Legolas. We are all humans.

Legolas:        Oh. (Blushes)

Steph:           (Giggles)

Authors' notes: That's the first part. Please R&R! Thanks!