This is my second IY fic (I did have another on FF under the name "Inez",
but my account was deleted...grrrrr. I might re-post it if I stop being so
lazy ^_^) Anyways, this fic is mainly a thought peice. Not much action or
dialogue...just some deep thinking on Kikyo's part. I was getting kinda
annoyed with how people view her as a bitch with no motive, so decided to
shed some light on her (or how she is in my opinion).
This is my first song fic (good ones are hard to write!), so please bare with me. It's based on a song by Sheryl Crow called "Riverwide" off her last album The Globe Sessions (in case you're curious...its track #3). I'm sure that few of you who are reading this have heard the song since it didn't get air-play or a video, but the fic is just inspired by it, not dependent on it.
This is going to probably be a 4 or 5 part fic (not really sure yet...I'll have to wait and see ^_^)
Disclaimer: I don't own InuYasha or Kikyo...or any of the other characters. I'm just borrowing them so I can make them think and do whatever I want them to. ^_^
Riverwide
Part One
*****I spent a year in the mouth of a whale with a flame and a book of signs. You'll never know how hard I've failed trying to make up for lost time.*****
Do you have any idea of the days I spent thinking of you, looking down on you, trying to reach you in some way? Do you have any idea of all the times I wondered why I decided to let you sleep instead of killing you? If I wanted you to live, why did I wish to die so much? Why did I give up and allow myself to slip away to the Afterlife? Why was I so content once I got there? Why was I so enraged when I was torn from there and thrust into this fake body made of earth?
And why do I ask these questions to you if you are not even here to listen to them? If you are there--with her...
But what exactly did I expect when I was dragged back here to the place of the living? To see you alive and well? Of course not. I expected that you would still be sealed to the tree where I left you fifty years ago. I didn't expect for you to have been awakened.
*****Once I believed in things unseen, I was blinded by the dark. Out of the multitude to me he came and broke my heart.*****
So many times in the Afterlife did I wonder about you. Us. What we could have been or could have had together. But then I would remember that day when I died and you went to sleep for fifty years. How I trusted you. How you tore into me with your claws, attempting to steal my life just so that you could touch the jewel. How you took advantage of my trust and betrayed me. But that girl--what did she say to me that night I tried to take you with me to hell?
"You're wrong to hate InuYasha! Fifty years ago...someone else tricked you and InuYasha into turning on each other. His name is Naraku!! He's you're true enemy!"
Did the girl speak the truth? Or was she desperate to save her own skin--and yours as well? But if what she said was true, who is this creature she spoke of? Naraku...
How ironic it is. The days before we both were separated from this world were oddly enjoyable for me. I liked seeing you, even if your visits were centered around you trying to find a way to take the jewel from me. For some strange reason, I looked forward to seeing you hiding in the brush, waiting for me to pass. You would try to attack so many times, but I would never harm you when I retaliated. I think about those days now and actually believe that I felt an emotion for you that was similar to love. And that you felt the same for me, even if your pride continuously refused to allow it to show in your actions toward me.
I was always so confused by you. You, a demon who spent your time either alone or with me, a mortal. Ah, yes. How foolish of me to forget how abnormal the two of us were--and still are. You are only a half-demon, and I am in reality only a half-mortal. My soul is divided from me, and my body is no more than a concoction of my own bones and the earth itself. Neither of us fit into our societies the way two people should. Perhaps that is why we were so drawn to each other, so comforted by each other, and yet so uncertain of each other. I didn't know what to think of you and your constant presence around me, your way of watching me that made my inner-most parts burn, your wildness, your confidence. And you didn't know what to think of me and my strange aloofness, my nonclalant solitude, my calm and otherwordly demeanor that was nothing more than a facade that protected me from those who wished me dead. We were so much alike. And yet so horribly different. You, a creature that I was comanded by position to fight against; and me, not merely a woman, but a priestess who held the thing you desired most and could not obtain.
Why the hell did all of this happen? What crimes did we commit to deserve the punishment we were given? Was it our relationship? Was our strengthening friendliness forbidden? Or was it what our friendliness towards each other could have become if left unchecked?
Was I blinded by this unknown creature that girl spoke of? As she claimed, were we both blinded? I know that you stole the jewel. I saw it in your hand when my arrow peirced your chest. I saw it fall to the ground. I picked it up and carried it heavily to my grave. But did I imprison you because you stole the jewel...or because I thought you betrayed me? Was it my position as priestess that forced me to do what I did, or was it my raw emotions?
Please review and tell me your thoughts on this so far. I'm really nervous about writing a fic that centers mostly on Kikyo's thoughts, since she doesn't seem to have that many fans out there.
Constructive criticism is more than welcome!!!! ^_^
This is my first song fic (good ones are hard to write!), so please bare with me. It's based on a song by Sheryl Crow called "Riverwide" off her last album The Globe Sessions (in case you're curious...its track #3). I'm sure that few of you who are reading this have heard the song since it didn't get air-play or a video, but the fic is just inspired by it, not dependent on it.
This is going to probably be a 4 or 5 part fic (not really sure yet...I'll have to wait and see ^_^)
Disclaimer: I don't own InuYasha or Kikyo...or any of the other characters. I'm just borrowing them so I can make them think and do whatever I want them to. ^_^
Riverwide
Part One
*****I spent a year in the mouth of a whale with a flame and a book of signs. You'll never know how hard I've failed trying to make up for lost time.*****
Do you have any idea of the days I spent thinking of you, looking down on you, trying to reach you in some way? Do you have any idea of all the times I wondered why I decided to let you sleep instead of killing you? If I wanted you to live, why did I wish to die so much? Why did I give up and allow myself to slip away to the Afterlife? Why was I so content once I got there? Why was I so enraged when I was torn from there and thrust into this fake body made of earth?
And why do I ask these questions to you if you are not even here to listen to them? If you are there--with her...
But what exactly did I expect when I was dragged back here to the place of the living? To see you alive and well? Of course not. I expected that you would still be sealed to the tree where I left you fifty years ago. I didn't expect for you to have been awakened.
*****Once I believed in things unseen, I was blinded by the dark. Out of the multitude to me he came and broke my heart.*****
So many times in the Afterlife did I wonder about you. Us. What we could have been or could have had together. But then I would remember that day when I died and you went to sleep for fifty years. How I trusted you. How you tore into me with your claws, attempting to steal my life just so that you could touch the jewel. How you took advantage of my trust and betrayed me. But that girl--what did she say to me that night I tried to take you with me to hell?
"You're wrong to hate InuYasha! Fifty years ago...someone else tricked you and InuYasha into turning on each other. His name is Naraku!! He's you're true enemy!"
Did the girl speak the truth? Or was she desperate to save her own skin--and yours as well? But if what she said was true, who is this creature she spoke of? Naraku...
How ironic it is. The days before we both were separated from this world were oddly enjoyable for me. I liked seeing you, even if your visits were centered around you trying to find a way to take the jewel from me. For some strange reason, I looked forward to seeing you hiding in the brush, waiting for me to pass. You would try to attack so many times, but I would never harm you when I retaliated. I think about those days now and actually believe that I felt an emotion for you that was similar to love. And that you felt the same for me, even if your pride continuously refused to allow it to show in your actions toward me.
I was always so confused by you. You, a demon who spent your time either alone or with me, a mortal. Ah, yes. How foolish of me to forget how abnormal the two of us were--and still are. You are only a half-demon, and I am in reality only a half-mortal. My soul is divided from me, and my body is no more than a concoction of my own bones and the earth itself. Neither of us fit into our societies the way two people should. Perhaps that is why we were so drawn to each other, so comforted by each other, and yet so uncertain of each other. I didn't know what to think of you and your constant presence around me, your way of watching me that made my inner-most parts burn, your wildness, your confidence. And you didn't know what to think of me and my strange aloofness, my nonclalant solitude, my calm and otherwordly demeanor that was nothing more than a facade that protected me from those who wished me dead. We were so much alike. And yet so horribly different. You, a creature that I was comanded by position to fight against; and me, not merely a woman, but a priestess who held the thing you desired most and could not obtain.
Why the hell did all of this happen? What crimes did we commit to deserve the punishment we were given? Was it our relationship? Was our strengthening friendliness forbidden? Or was it what our friendliness towards each other could have become if left unchecked?
Was I blinded by this unknown creature that girl spoke of? As she claimed, were we both blinded? I know that you stole the jewel. I saw it in your hand when my arrow peirced your chest. I saw it fall to the ground. I picked it up and carried it heavily to my grave. But did I imprison you because you stole the jewel...or because I thought you betrayed me? Was it my position as priestess that forced me to do what I did, or was it my raw emotions?
Please review and tell me your thoughts on this so far. I'm really nervous about writing a fic that centers mostly on Kikyo's thoughts, since she doesn't seem to have that many fans out there.
Constructive criticism is more than welcome!!!! ^_^