Ok, so this is kind of like a sequel to patricia51's story, BACKFIRE. This one is called WHIPLASH because you know sequels, whatever. Hope you enjoy it and send me some reviews.

BTW, I don't own Wizards of Waverly Place... or, as much as I would like to, Selena Gomez. God I'd love to own her.

"I-I'm going to be a WHAT?" Alex was in shock. Harper couldn't possibly be…. She definitely wasn't… this was impossible.

"I said that you're going to be a father." Harper said slowly, gesturing to the small strip she'd given to her best friend. "The pregnancy test is positive."

Alex stared at the strip and tried to think of something witty or snide to say only to find her mind blank out at the prospect of being a father. "But I can't be a father, I'm a girl. And the spell wore off!" Harper shrugged.

"Remember when we had searched the spell on the WWW?" Alex nodded slowly. "There was a notification on there telling me not to touch it because of testosterone. And you did come inside me a lot…"

Alex was horrorstruck beyond words as she put her head in her hands. "This cannot be happening!" she groaned. "We're going to have to tell Mason and Zeke! Not to mention my parents! Uh, I can hear Justin taunting me now. This is just great."

"What about me?" Harper demanded. "I'm the one that has to explain it to Zeke. Plus, I also have to go through the pregnancy. What will happen to me?"

Alex looked up into her friend's worried eyes and took a deep breath. "I'll be there to tell Zeke with you. I think it would be better if he heard it from both of us so that I can tell him it was all my fault. And as for the pregnancy symptoms…" Alex grit her teeth angrily before taking another breath and finishing. "…I'll ask Justin if he can do a spell so that we share them. That way, it's not just you, but me too."

Harper stared. That was the most mature thing Alex had said in a long time. "Alex, I… I don't know what to say. Thank you, actually."

Alex shrugged and sighed, running a hand through her hair. "Yeah, well, I might as well try to start being more responsible, me becoming a dad and all. Plus, the talk I'm going to have to have with my parents won't be pretty. How do you think we should tell them?"

Harper thought for a moment and said, "Let's just be honest and straightforward. I'm sure they'll understand. After all, they know you make mistakes. This one just has long term consequences."

Alex sighed and nodded, holding out her hand for Harper to take. The redhead took the proffered hand and Alex led her down the stairs. Alex took a pause as they were on the stairs and plastered a fake smile on her face. Letting go of Harper's hand, Alex nodded to her and pounded down the rest of the stairs in a display of utmost happiness.

"Mom! Dad! Good news: Harper's pregnant!"

"What?" Theresa and Jerry exclaimed, stopping mid-conversation.

"I'm going to be a father." Alex added, bouncing on her toes, giving off the air of giddiness.

"WHAT?" Justin and Max shouted, standing.

"I messed up a spell that was meant for Mason and gave myself a huge penis and so the built testosterone made me and Harper go sex crazy and we had sex all weekend until it disappeared. Now, Harper's pregnant with my child."

The other four Russos stared at her with jaws agape and eyes blank. Max was the first to recover. "Wait, wait, wait," he said, holding his hands up. "So what you're telling me is… I'm going to be an uncle?"

Alex nodded, resisting the urge to laugh as Justin's jaw dropped further. "No fair!" he shouted. "I'm the oldest, I'm supposed to have the first kid!"

Alex glared at him and growled, "Well then, you should have messed up a spell to make your boyfriend's penis bigger."

"Speaking of boyfriends…" Harper said, rubbing her neck as Mason and Zeke both walked through the door with flowers in their hands.

"Hey Harper!" Zeke said with a slightly shy giggle.

"Hello Alex!" Mason said cheerfully holding the flowers out to her.

"Oh Mason they're beautiful!" She sniffed them before turning to him. "I'm glad you brought me flowers. By the way, Harper's pregnant with my baby."

Both boys stopped midstep and stared at her with jaws wide open and eyes the size of dinner plates. "WHAT?" they screamed.

"Harper is pregnant with my baby." Alex repeated slowly so they could hear her clearly.

"I thought-!"

"But how-?"

"When-?"

"Why-?"

"WHAT?"

Alex giggled at how comical they were, both looking at her helplessly. "Well, remember that weekend my parents and brothers went on vacation and left me and Harper here alone?"

Mason and Zeke nodded.

"Well, I was anticipating sex with Mason sometime soon and so, I wanted his pen-."

"Please don't say it again, Alex." Harper groaned.

Alex rolled her eyes and continued. "I wanted his guy anatomy to be as big as possible. Well, I tried to do this spell, but instead of making Mason bigger, it gave me a guy part much bigger than either of you. The Wiz Wide Web said for no one to touch it because they'll be overwhelmed with sexual desire, but it was too late because Harper had already touched it. So, we spent the entire weekend having sex with each other and then the guy part wore off Sunday night. But, since we spent all weekend like that, Harper's pregnant with my baby."

The more Alex spoke happily about the prospect, the more she actually thought that having her own child would be a great experience. The room was quiet for a moment as everyone processed this information and Alex waited for them to finally grasp onto it. When they did, Justin was the first to speak. "So you mean to tell me that you're going to have a kid?"

Alex nodded.

"With Harper?"

Alex nodded again.

"That means that you can't keep your wizard powers!"

Alex's jaw dropped and she growled, "I'm not MARRIED to Harper! I can keep my powers!"

"Not if the Wizard Council finds out." Justin's eyes gleamed mischievously. "I'll go tell them."

"If you tell them, I'll tell them that you knew the entire time and didn't report me sooner. That would mean that not only me, but the entire family, plus Zeke would get into trouble for it."

Justin froze and turned back to Alex with a scowl. "Touché." He grumbled.

"Well," Jerry sighed. "I guess I had better go find a spell to get rid of the baby before-."

"Excuse me?" Alex asked incredulously. "WHAT did you just say?"

Jerry looked at his daughter in confusion. "Surely you're not going to keep it Alex. It would be a liability to your schoolwork and your life."

Alex's eyes erupted in fire as she crossed her arms and cocked her hip. "I'm keeping it." She said with finality. "If Harper still wants the baby, then I'm keeping it. Mom can teach me how to take care of it and I'll take it to school with me. It's MY baby."

Everyone turned to Harper, who turned frantic eyes on Alex only to find the brunette carefully avoiding looking at her to lessen the pressure. Harper thought it over for a moment and nodded. "I want to keep it too." All jaws dropped once more and a beaming smile split Alex's face.

"Thank you!" Alex shouted, hugging her best friend. "I had better start my training as soon as possible, but first I need to find a spell to split the pregnancy symptoms between the two of us."

Alex took a deep breath before turning to Justin. "Justin… do you mind… performing the spell so that I don't… mess it up?" Alex grit her teeth against the angry tears that sprang up at the semi-confession. Justin stared at Alex as though she'd grown another head.

"You… are asking me for help?" he asked incredulously to which Alex glared at him and nodded.

Justin suddenly pointed his wand at Alex's throat and growled, "Who are you and what have you done with Alex?"

Alex backed away fearfully and bumped into the wall. "What are you talking about?" Alex shouted, staring at Justin's wand with wide eyes.

"Alex would never ask me for help with anything unless she really had to. What have you done with her?"

A spark shot from his wand and hit Alex just below her jugular, causing her to cry out. "I just don't want to hurt the baby!" she explained. "I'm afraid I might mess up and hurt the baby."

Justin lowered his wand a fraction and stared at her hard. "You're really serious about this, aren't you?" he asked softly.

"I am." Alex breathed. "It's my baby Justin."

Justin lowered his wand and nodded. "I'll perform the spell." he stated.

"Really?" Alex stared at him. "No 'Ha! That's why I'll be the family wizard' or 'That's what you get Alex!' or 'Fine, once again, I'll fix something YOU did'? None of it?"

Justin tapped his chin. "Well, you're my sister. I mean, you tease me and mock me and do other things, but this means a lot to you and if I can help, why not?"

Alex's face split into a grin so wide it almost cracked her face in half. "Thank you." she said to him, dropping her eyes to the floor.

Justin shifted and asked, "So, when?"

"ASAP." Alex replied almost immediately. Justin nodded and the two went away to the lair to find the correct spell. Harper watched them go with amusement before turning to the three remaining Russos.

"Our daughter…" Theresa murmured in shock.

"My little girl…" Jerry mumbled, just as shocked. Harper rolled her eyes and walked over, snapping her fingers in front of their faces. They looked at her as if they were looking through her.

"Look, you can't be all spaced out and stuff when Alex gets back. She needs you support and you need to give it. Sure she made a mistake, but COME ON! She makes mistakes all the time. Just accept this one and embrace a new member of the family."

The two elder Russos took deep breaths and nodded, smiling as they hugged Harper.

"At least it was you and not the wolf." Jerry muttered, glaring briefly at Mason, who, like Zeke, still had his mouth hanging open with a shocked hurt expression on his face. Harper waved her hand in front of their faces and sighed, pushing on their noses. They stumbled for a moment before coming out of their trance to stare at her.

"You took Alex." Mason shouted, suddenly angry.

"You cheated on me!" Zeke said, hurt clouding his face.

"Actually the magic-."

"Magic can't make people feel things." Mason growled. "Only make their feelings stronger. You already loved Alex!"

"Like a sister!" Harper said earnestly. "The spell must have grabbed that and made it into lust for Alex's body. I mean, come on, she is pretty hot." Both men glared at her and Harper sighed. "You know what? I don't have time for this. Can't all four of us talk about this together?"

The boys grudgingly nodded and sat down on the couch to wait until Alex and Justin returned. Moments later, Alex stormed in and went upstairs while Justin stood smirking at the place she'd disappeared.

"What did you do to your sister?" Jerry demanded.

"I made her have the pregnancy symptoms and be able to feel what Harper was feeling too." Justin said proudly.

"Then why is she angry?" Theresa asked.

"Well, I kinda messed up the spell a little and so she also FEELS what Harper does."

Jerry shook his head.

"Right now, though, she's pretty pissed at me so it's fine."

"No it is NOT fine." Theresa groaned. "Go make her feel better."

"HE HAD BETTER NOT COME NEAR ME OR MY ROOM!" a scream from upstairs ordered them.

"I also might have given her Mason's abilities short of turning into a wolf and having the meat craving and fleas."

Harper sighed. "Come on you two. Better now than later." They followed her up the stairs to Alex's room and Harper knocked softly. The door swung open to reveal Alex sulking on her bed with her knees in the air.

"Yeah?" she demanded.

"We need to talk." Mason said before Harper could say anything.

Alex sat up on the bed and propped herself against the headboard. Flicking her wand, Alex shut the door behind them and crossed her arms. "So talk." she ordered.

Mason and Zeke leaned against the wall as Harper climbed onto the bed with Alex, snuggling into the other girl. Alex threw an arm around her and pulled her close, looking down at her before turning her attention to the boys.

"You got Harper pregnant." Mason stated, crossing his arms.

"Point being?" Alex asked. "All I did was mess up a spell. It's like all my other mess-ups."

Mason pouted as Zeke spoke up. "But… Harper's MY girlfriend and YOUR Mason's girlfriend. You can't be together."

"No one said we were together, Zeke." Harper murmured, her head on Alex's shoulder as she slowly drifted to sleep. "We're just sharing a child. And, you know, our friendship. We're still in relationships with the two of you."

"Plus, we're all inter-dating now. I'm dating Mason, Harper, and Zeke. Harper's dating Zeke, Mason and me. Zeke is dating Harper, Mason and me and Mason is dating me, Harper and Zeke. We're all interconnected now so there's nothing any of us can really do."

Mason shrugged and looked to Zeke, who sighed and nodded. They left the two girls alone and headed downstairs.

"Well," Harper sighed. "This is going to be a long eight months."

Alex smiled as she kissed Harper's sweating forehead. "You did amazing, baby." She cooed, stroking Harper's hair as the redhead leaned into her touch.

"Yeah, I guess. We'll find out when the doctor comes back with our pretty baby girl."

"What should we name her?" Alex mused.

"How about Iesha?" Harper asked.

"Why Iesha?" Alex asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Because it means love in Swahili."

Alex grinned down at Harper and murmured, "Iesha it is then."

She continued stroking Harper's hair as the other girl calmed down from the birth. At last the doctor came out holding a pink and blue blanket, making Alex confused. "What's up with the multicolor?" she asked.

"Well, Miss Russo, it seems that your daughter has, ah, the lower half of a male. The insemination your girlfriend received may have come from a hermaphrodite…"

Alex blushed as the doctor continued to explain. When he was finished, she nodded and he handed them Iesha. "Harper?" Alex asked. "Our daughter's a hermaphrodite."

Harper opened her eyes and stared at the pink and blue blanket. "Wow, who would've thought?" Harper yawned, reaching out to touch her baby's reddish brown hair.

At that moment, the baby opened its mouth to begin crying and Alex quickly handed her to Harper, who pulled down her hospital gown and held the baby to her breast. As Iesha began drinking, harper moaned softly and smiled down at the little miracle she and Alex had created together. "I'm glad you chose me." Harper murmured.

"Hum?" Alex mumbled, dozing in the chair.

"I'm glad you chose me to be your best friend in Kindergarten."

Alex smiled sleepily and leaned down to kiss Harper gently, saying, "Me too, Harper. Me too."

SO HOW'D YOU LIKE IT? Hope you had as much fun reading as I did writing. Soon, I'll be posting a Demi Selena story for English class. Check it out when it's up. For now, send me nice reviews. ^_^ n.n