This little drabble came to my mind in English, even though is not my native Language.
Desperate
There are times when the past falls on me with all its weight
And the words "what's done is done" are the stones in my pockets
Those are the times when I watch you from afar
Those are the times when I'm desperate.
I can see it all around you, consuming you from inside
The unsatisfied fury, doomed to never find appropriate revenge
How can the lukewarm flame of her love be enough? To match the fire of your anger and remorse?
I'm not afraid of getting burnt, 'cause I'm frozen in regret, when I'm desperate.
When I'm filled with so many rough emotions, my skin feels like it's raw all over
The tiniest touch would make me wince, a little waft would make me pant
Don't you think you'd have your fun?
I can be a good fuck, when I'm desperate.
So put out your fire in these cold tears of mine
Let me be the soothing water for your still unhealed wounds
Make me beg and cry, 'cause roughness is a blessing and kindness is unbearable
And I have no pride or self-esteem left, that's why I can be a good fuck, when I'm desperate.
So you can cling all you want, to their friendship and love
I'll be watching you from afar, pretending you haven't noticed my pain, as I pretend I'm not seeing yours
And I'll wait, dreading and yearning to see my envy mirrored in that gaze of yours
I will be your good fuck, when I'm desperate.
Footnotes:
reviews and opinions are very welcomed.
I'll be happy to clear any doubt on the meaning.
BE