Regina stood tall on the step leading down towards her front door. Her silk pyjama suit hugging her hips and giving her a messy look a scene of purpose.
Not a minute earlier the doorbell had sounded throughout the large white manor. It had caused Regina to sigh in reaction, as she then had to put her book down and shoe some fool from her doorstep.
"Snow?" Regina wasn't long awake, so pleasantries weren't in the forefront of her mind.
"Regina." Snow greeted with a smile. "May I?" She smiley woman asked as she gestured to the entrance of Regina's home. Regina moved aside in an attempted to usher Snow inside.
"Is there a reason you're here so early, and on a Sunday of all days." Regina queried as Snow was now silent.
"Ah," Snow stalled, "Coffee?" She asked, as she noted Regina's sleepiness.
"Please." Regina wasn't the type to say please, but when it came to coffee and Sunday mornings she found it just slipping from her lips. Regina had one day a week to herself, without work, and without saving the goddamn world; that day was Sunday, and she was bitter that Snow was so comfortable making herself at home.
It wasn't long before the two women found themselves on Regina's back patio. It overlooked the Mifflin Manor's large backyard, giving a view of the grass, to the pool and outdoor entertainment area in the right corner and to the large oak tree to the left where Henry's old rope swing still hung.
Regina noted that although the morning was crisp the days were warming up; summer was just around the bend.
The two hadn't spoken a word since Snow had offered to make coffee, and although neither women would admit it, it was truly a beautiful moment. It was pure, easy and untouched.
"So, are you here because you wanted to make me coffee at 7am, or does your visit have motive?" Regina was a little more awake, and a little more willing to interact with the woman sitting mere feet from her.
"Ah," Snow smiled "Yes." The younger woman took a moment to choose her words. "I wanted to check if you were okay?" She stopped again for a moment. "We haven't seen you since we got back from New York. Henry says you're okay, but…" Snow trailed off without means of finishing.
"Worried I'll go all Evil Queen on your ass?" Regina joked.
"Well if I remember correctly, we took care of her." Snow quipped. ''No. I, well- you lost Robin, that's not easy." Snow said, taking a more serious tone.
"I know this may be hard to believe but I'm okay. I believe Robin is in a better place- somehow, somewhere- and I think he'd want me to move on, to be happy." Regina wasn't lying. Though she could see why Snow and the other adorable idiots would think otherwise. It had been eight weeks since the heroes had returned and for those eight weeks Regina had been in her office, with the occasional dinner and sleepover with Henry. Emma had texted on many occasions offering Regina more nights with Henry but she had refused, wanting time alone to grieve, figure herself out and figure out what she wanted out of life, but she was copping.
"I suppose you're right." Snow said, admiring how calm and together Regina was. "I'm always here if you need to talk." Snow added quickly.
"I know."
"Anything else you want to talk about?" Snow said lightly.
"Wrong day, wrong drink." Regina mused as she lifted her coffee towards her mouth.
"Elaborate for me," Snow's interest now more intents.
"Try a Friday night, with a Daiquiri in hand." Regina said believing her problems would diminish after a night of drinking.
"What's got you down?" Snow asked knowing that it was unlikely to get a direct answer from Regina.
"Like I said, wrong day, wrong drink."
"I want to be here for you. I'm apparently eight weeks too late for Robin, so use me as a verbal punching bag for this." Snow was eager to keep her new found connection with Regina strong. No way in hell, or any other realm, she'd let Regina slip from her family again.
Regina took a deep breath, unsure if she wanted to explain the whole story to Snow- unsure if she could. Regina did want advice and someone to tell her it was okay, but she didn't know if Snow was the right person- Deep down she knew Snow wasn't the right person. However Regina enjoyed her new friendship with the younger woman and the companionship that came with it, but Regina did find this particular issue was better kept quiet.
"It's nothing." Regina finally said after weighing her options.
"That's not true." Snow said knowingly- honestly, how long had she known Regina for? "But I get it, sometimes it's easier to keep it quiet, and if that's what you want to do, I won't stop you." Snow said softly as she gently squeezed Regina's arm.
Regina was willing to admit she was ready to move on from Robin. Regina was even willing to admit she was curious about someone else, but Regina knew that saying these things would lead to more questions, and eventually the truth would come out, which was something Regina didn't want.
"It's not that easy." Regina finally said. She knew Snow was on her side but the truth was ugly, and a means for everyone to run. Again.
"Its okay, Regina." Snow said again.
It was quiet for a long time. Coffee grounds now drying in empty cups. The air was warming and the need for Snow's jumper gone.
"It's a woman." Regina said softly. If anyone but Snow was sitting by her side they would think it was for Regina's own ears.
"What's she done?" Snow asked, knowing that it was easy for Regina to hate women over small things.
"Nothing." Regina wanted to share. She wouldn't, couldn't, keep this in any longer. "It's more of what I've done."
"What have you done?" Snow curious and intrigued, unsure if she was ready to hear Regina's answer.
Regina opened and closed her mouth. Her words catching in her throat each time. It took all Regina's strength to say six small words. "I fell in love with her." Regina was so sure that admitting that to Snow was caused a large array of emotions and reactions from the younger women. Hell, Regina wasn't only admitted to be in love with someone else just after Robin's pasting but she was also coming out.
"Oh," Snow was stumped for a moment, she had never known Regina to be in love with a women. "So is this why you're over Robin?" Snow knew the question was a tad insensitive but she couldn't help but wonder.
"No," Regina shook her head in honesty. "That's a completely different set of feelings. A completely separate story."
"Oh, okay." Snow thought it were simple. "So what's the issue, why you are so down?" Snow paused to think of her beloved husband. "Love is a beautiful thing."
"Well she's-" Regina stopped, realizing Snow hadn't questioned the fact that they were talking about a woman. "You're not questioning the fact we're speaking of a woman." It wasn't a question, just a statement.
"I'm not blind." Snow shook off Regina's confusion. "No one has that many hand maidens, and especially not that many that sleep in their chambers."
"Well do you really think I needed that many riding coaches?" Regina quickly added, not wanting a label that wasn't true. "Men were just as enticing." She finished.
"I know." Snow said with a soft smile, not wanting Regina to feel uncomfortable with her admission of being bisexual.
The two were silent again. This time the quietness was broken by the buzzing of Snow's phone.
"I have to go." Snow said after reading a text message. "We'll continue this." She added before lifting herself from the slide sun lounge and making her way back into the house.
##
It was a week of radio silence. Regina found herself thinking that perhaps Snow was in hiding, unwilling to acknowledge what Regina had told her. That was of course, untrue.
Regina found herself making coffee for two the following Sunday morning. Snow had let herself in at 7.30am, this time waking Regina.
"So Neal said his first word." Snow started conversation after Regina's first sip of coffee.
The two women were back on the patio overlooking Regina's large back yard.
"That's incredible!" Regina beamed. She had grown to love baby Neal, it was as though he was family.
"It was 'book'." Snow laughed, recalling the Wednesday event well.
"Oh, Henry will have much to teach him." Regina chuckled.
"Funnily enough Emma was reading to him when he said it." Snow stated. "I heard him from the kitchen."
"Oh! that boy will have a voice." Regina thought aloud.
Snow let out a soft chuckle and nodded in agreement before the two went silent again.
"I thought you were ignoring me." Regina finally admitted softly.
"Oh!" Snow was quick to turn her body to Regina and reassure her with a comforting touch that that just was not true. "'Gina, I wouldn't. I've just had the busiest week. End of term papers to mark."
Regina knew deep down Snow was telling the truth, but the fact is that the silence still hurt a little.
"Oh." Regina whispered, her cheeks turning a light red.
"So, again, what's the issue with loving someone, why you are so down?" Snow asked after a moment, remembering where they had left things last Sunday.
"It's complicated, Snow." Regina stated, a little baffled by Snow's constant optimism when it came to love.
"Never!" Snow smiled. "I don't believe for a second that love is complicated."
"You have Charming, it was meant to be, easy and swift." Regina commented.
"Charming and I had our rough spots, and if I remember correctly you had a hand in most of that." Snow joked lightly, knowing Regina would find the humour in it. "The circumstances may be complicated," Snow continued, "But love never is."
"Well, there is a first time for everything." Regina muttered.
"I don't believe it. Give me a good reason." Snow said strongly, she was so unwilling to believe love was hard.
"Well the woman I'm interested in has a boyfriend." Regina growled bluntly.
"Oh," Snow took a moment. "That sucks, but it's the circumstance."
Regina sighed at how positive Snow was still being. Gosh, sometimes Regina regrated ever discussing her feelings with women. Regina enjoyed pushing her feelings down with a glass of scotch. Regina was the type to complain and suppress, but Snow made that hard.
"Are they serious?" Snow queried with a cocked brow as if to suggest she had a plan.
"More than you know." Regina sighed. Snow had no idea. They were inseparable, they'd follow one another to the skies and back.
"Well," Snow's brow flattened and her grin dissipated. "Perhaps daiquiris are the solution." Snow jested.
Regina offered a sad smile in return. Thinking that daiquiris were either the best idea, or the worst.
"Are you sure its love?" Snow asked, though it was more of an aloud thought.
"I'm too sure."
"Eight weeks isn't long though." Snow said, knowing full well the irony that statement held as she had fallen for Charming in a much shorter amount of time.
"In these eight weeks I've come to realize that I've loved her for years." Regina confessed.
Snow was a little taken aback, she had never thought of Regina to be the type of woman to date, and profess love for someone if it wasn't true. "So what was Robin, a ruse?"
"No!" Regina rushed to protect the purity of her relationship with the late Robin. "He was so much to me. He helped me in ways I don't think I would ever explain, and I loved him with so much of my being." Regina took a second to regain composure. "I didn't realize I was in love with her, I didn't realize it was love. I didn- it wasn't until Robin had passed that I could really see it. I took time after Robin passed to grieve, to reconstruct myself, but in doing that I realised that the feelings I had for this woman were-" Regina couldn't find the words to finish her sentence so she just left her words hanging.
"Regina, I didn't mean to-"
"It's fine." Regina cut the younger woman off, not wanting to hear the apology she knew would follow.
Snow thought for a while. The silence and calmness of the morning air gave Regina the change to breathe.
"Tell me what you don't like about her." Snow said, smiling to herself as if she had come but with the world's best plan.
"Ha!" Regina snorted and truly laughed, this was too easy. "She is arrogant, head strong, a wise arse, too proud, wrongfully kind, and an idiot!" Regina rattled these things of quickly and easily.
"Anything else?" Snow questioned, her mouth hanging open with the shock that Regina could say she loved a woman she so clearly despised.
"Yeah." Regina sighed. "She's fucking blind."
"Oh." Snow now understood, the insults were Regina's copping mechanism- for the most part.
"And she has the worst diet in the world." Regina added, finding it fun to bad mouth the woman she so desperately loved.
Regina's phone started to ring, a simple four chord song that Snow recognized as 'bleeding out'. While Regina answered the phone and started a new conversation Snow wondered who the ringtone was designated for.
Regina soon hung up the phone and rose from her sitting position. "I have to go." And with that she was gone.
##
The third Sunday of that late spring month Snow was happy to find Regina and two cups of coffee on the back patio of the Mifflin manor.
"Good Mornin'" Snow offered as she sat next to the casually dress Regina Mills.
"And to you." Regina smiled as she handed Snow the coffee that had been sitting in wait for a small ten minutes.
"Bleeding out is a good song." Snow said easily.
"That it is." Regina said in agreement as she enjoyed her coffee.
"It's your ringtone." Snow noted, "For anyone in particular?"
"For Linda, you remember, the Mayor's secretary." Regina said simply.
"Oh, yes, I do." Snow said, remembering very well, Linda was a very head strong, wise cracking and somewhat idiotic woman that was surprisingly thin for the amount of junk she ate. "I do." Snow said again, knowingly.
Regina disappeared for a moment before returning form the house with a silver tray with an assortment of breakfast foods upon it. "Thought you might want breakfast today." Regina shrugged before placing the food on a small table between the two sun lounges.
"Thank you." Snow smiled before biting into a pastry.
"Sometimes I miss the Evil Queen." Regina confessed part way through breakfast.
"What? Why?" Snow asked in confusion, believing that Regina was happy to be rid of her.
"She, although diabolical, went for the things she wanted… and always got them."
"Not always." Snow offered with a laugh as she gestured to herself.
"The only exception." Regina admitted with a laugh.
"She would have got her in an immoral and sleazy way. You know that." Snow said, trying to assure Regina she had done the right thing.
"Oh but I'd have her skin beneath my fingers." Regina counteracted with a smirk pulling on her lips.
"Oh Regina! You're so bad!" Snow exclaimed in a naughty, almost seedy, way.
The two were in a fit of laugher, that sort of topic had normally gone unspoken between the two.
Regina enjoyed the time she had been spending with Snow. It was like all the fighting, not just between them personally, but between the heroes and villains had ceased to exited, just for a little while.
##
The fourth Sunday came hand in hand with the bright and warm sun that Regina couldn't ignore. Snow had made her way to the back yard to find a two coffee cups, one empty.
"Snow!" Regina called.
Snow looked up to see Regina in the pool in the bottom of the garden. "Regina!" Snow returned as she made her way over to the pool's edge, with her coffee in hand.
"How's the water?" Snow asked, taking a seat on the pavers that surrounded the pool.
"Beautiful!" Regina hummed as she pushed through the water and balanced herself on her back.
"How are you?" Regina called from the water.
"Well. Henry has been asking to stay with you." Snow said.
"Oh! He must stay a few nights during the week." Regina smiled. "I'll speak with him this afternoon."
"I'll bring him around tomorrow evening for you." Snow offered. "How's your week been?" Snow asked, returning the pleasantry.
"Long," Regina said honestly. "Warm," She continued, "But good."
"Good," Snow paused, she took time with her words, Regina thought that perhaps it was to construct the best sentence she could, but perhaps Regina was wrong. "I saw her, you know, met her boyfriend as well. He isn't all that great, and honestly," Snow ducked her head, then captured Regina's eyes. "Their relationship doesn't seem all that serious."
"What?" Regina asked, confused to no end. "What?" Regina asked again as she pulled herself out of the water and onto the pavement next to Snow.
"You know, Linda." Snow said as if it were obvious.
"Yes, Tom's a prick, but I'm still confused." Regina recalled meeting Tom on a few occasions, each time his personality seemed to worsen.
"Wait, what?" Snow was now the confused one. "You- what? I thought you said they were serious?"
"Those two are less serious than a clown throwing pie." Regina cackled.
"When I asked if they were serious you said, and I quote, 'more than you know.'" Snow recalled.
"You never asked me about their relationship, Snow."
"Then, but, what?" Snow was even more confused now. "Wait! You aren't in love with Linda?"
"No!" Regina almost jumped from her own skin in shock and disgust.
"Then who have we been talking about?" Snow was stumped, it seemed to be the only conclusion to make.
"I didn't tell you her name for good reason, Snow." Regina caught Snow's attempt to figure out who the mystery woman actually was.
"What are these so called 'good reasons.'?" Snow inquired.
"It's a secret, for one." Regina teased with wide eyes.
"Oh please, Regina," Snow pushed, she was sure it was Linda but gosh who could it be if it wasn't.
"If I do, you can't freak out." Regina said seriously as she rose from her seated position.
"Please, Regina, it's just me." Snow said gesturing to the emptiness of the Mifflin manor's back yard.
"Okay, first, swear to me you are not going to freak out about this."
"Freak out about what?" Snow asked seriously.
"You know, sometimes-"
"Oh, my God! Who is it?" Snow exclaimed as she stood to meet Regina's gaze.
"Okay," Regina spoke softly and backed away from Snow by a few steps. "Emma. The woman I am in love with is Emma."
"I'm sorry, what?!" Snow's face was blank and for a moment. Regina thought she was going to get hit. "My Emma?"
"Yeah." Regina muttered softly, as if her soft words would make it less likely she would get hit.
"Oh."
Snow said nothing for a long time. So the two women just stood in silence. Regina finding herself unable to move, perhaps it was the fear, or perhaps it was the sense of intrigue Snow's silences gave her.
"You. Love. Emma." Snow finally said, though the statement was most likely for herself.
"Yes." Regina answered knowing that silence would probably be safer at this point.
"Why- why didn't you tell me?" Snow said after another minute of silence.
"Because it's Emma." Regina stated the obvious as if that was enough of a reason to keep it a secret.
"Regina, it's okay." Snow said softly, "Honestly I think you two would be cute together." Snow laughed.
Regina swallowed hard, the thought of being with Emma was tempting and so fucking exciting. She had to push those feelings down. "Ha!" It was a sarcastic pained laugh. "And what about Hook?" Regina retorted.
"Henry hasn't- wait, Emma hasn't told you?" Snow queried.
"Told me what?" Regina's curiosity rose quickly.
"Emma broke up with Hook not more than 3 days ago." Snow stated, as if it were something the whole town knew. "That's why she took her trip to New York."
"Emma is in New York?"
"No one tells you anything." Snow was now a little defeated.
"I guess not!" Regina snapped. "Why did she break things off with Hook?" Regina's tone was erratic and uneven.
Snow sighed, "Emma grew to resent Hook because he became a symbol of everything that's wrong in this world. She grew to resent his being because he got to live for sacrificing his life and Robin didn't. Emma grew annoyed by his presence because it reminded her how unhappy you are." Snow laughed for a moment. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but Emma broke things off with Hook because she too, is in love with you."
Regina's heart was pounding. Her mind was racing, trying to process everything she had just been told. Could it be that she had a chance with the Sheriff, the Savoir- a chance with Emma Swan.
Regina spend the rest of her day wrestling her thoughts. One moment she was happy, day dreaming and practicing what she was say the next time she saw Emma. The next moment she would be in disarray, finding it impossible to believe that Emma loved her back. Regina thought perhaps Snow was guessing, projecting, or just straight up wrong. It couldn't be.
There was only one sure fire way that she could calm her mind. Regina pulled out her phone and quickly wrote a text.
I need to talk to you, see you, rather. As soon as you cross the town line I expect you to come straight to my door. Sent: Sunday 24th – 11:06pm
Emma didn't reply for what seemed like years. Perhaps she had her phone off for a few days. But from Sunday night to Wednesday afternoon Regina was constantly on the edge of her seat. Assuming each message she got was from Emma, for just a second.
Yeah sure. Hope you can wait, don't think I'll be back until the weekend. Sent: Wednesday 27th – 4:29pm
##
Regina woke to an irritating buzzing on her side table. Her phone was ringing but before answering she checked time. The clock on her side table read 12:01am, Regina groaned as it was now technically Sunday.
"Hello?" Regina grumbled into her phone without checking the caller ID.
"Hey 'Gina, I'm out the front."
"Emma?"
"Yeah. Anyway can you let me in, I'm being eaten by mosquitos."
"Ah, what are you doing here?" Regina questioned as she rose from her bed in those silk pyjamas that hugged her hips.
"You told me to come straight to you when I got back to town." Emma stated simply.
"Oh," Regina assumed that Emma's arrival would have been sometime during the day. "Yeah."
Regina woke herself up with a splash of cold water from her ensuite bathroom sink and quickly made her way down stairs.
"Emma." Regina softly greeted as she opened her front door and let Emma inside.
"Regina," Emma smiled. "You're okay right?" Emma questioned, "You're text was vague."
"Yeah, ah, I-" Regina had trouble finding the words. It wasn't until Emma smiled that Regina found herself calming down and words coming to mind. "I wanted to talk about what happened with Hook. Snow told me about it."
"If you're going to try and convince me that 'true love is rare and a holy gift and I should give him another chance' don't." Emma huffed as though she had already heard that line a thousand times.
"I wasn't, I wasn't at all." Regina smiled.
"So, you want to know if I am okay?" Emma asked, before answering the question herself. "I am. I broke up with him because I just didn't love him anymore. He became someone I didn't like, after the whole 'coming back to life' thing he changed, he's not who he used to be."
"Oh." Regina said sadly. It was stupid of her to think that Emma breaking up with Hook had anything to do with her.
"Oh?" Emma questioned.
"Snow had said it was for another reason." Regina stated, putting on her mask and taming her voice.
"And what? That was a better reason. I don't have to explain myself to her." Emma snapped, not at Regina but at the misguided thought that her mother wanted her to stay with Hook. Emma couldn't be more wrong.
"She had said you broke up with him because his presence reminded you of how unhappy I was." Regina's tone was dead. Though she was continuing this conversation she didn't want Emma knowing her true feelings.
"And so what if I did?" Emma asked. "He changed, and became a symbol of unhappiness for me." Emma sighed.
"So, you did break up with him because of how unhappy I was?" Regina pressed for more information.
"It was one of the reasons, yes." Emma stepped closer to the brunette, curious, trying to figure out her angle.
"Okay." Regina said softly.
"Okay? Really? That's you desperately needed to talk to me about?" Emma asked, confusion dancing in her eyes.
"Well," Regina wanted to just say it. How much had lying and scheming gotten her in her life time? "I- it's not the full reason."
"Then why am I here?" Emma asked, though curious she was tired and just wanted to sleep.
"Fuck!" Regina pushed the words from her tongue. "Because I'm in love with you."
It was silent, for a long time the two just stared at each other, both unwilling to move.
Regina's breath hitched in her throat as Emma opened her mouth, she was about to say something Regina would swear upon it but instead Emma lunged forward and captured Regina's lips in a hot kiss. Regina's body was ready and willing to comply with Emma's. But it didn't take too long for Regina to break the kiss and pull away from Emma's hold.
"I can't do this." Regina whispered, hurt cracking through her voice. Regina had been pulled and pushed enough for 7 life times, she didn't need the woman she loved taking advantage of her.
"Why not?" Looking back, maybe Emma could have chosen better words, but it was a question that she did get an answer for.
"I can't be your rebound. I can't hurt myself just to make you happy."
"Oh-"
"But god I believe me when I say that I want too." Regina said, without knowing it cut Emma off.
"Regina," Emma pressed. "I broke up with him because he became my unhappiness, he was your unhappiness. I broke up with him because you became the light at the end of the tunnel, you're my happiness. You couldn't be more wrong if you think your feelings are one sided."
Regina felt the air escape her lungs, and breathing became laboured and her mind was moving a thousand miles a second.
"You can't hurt me, Em." Regina said as she stepped into Emma's personal space.
"Regina, I went to New York to sort my shit out. I was only going to come back when I got it together- I needed a stable mind to be able to come back Henry, my family. Then and only then was I going court you, and hope to dear god that you would fall in love with me."
"And you're back now because-"
"Because I'm in love with you and yes, I have gotten my shit together." Emma confessed with hope and humour.
Regina was quick to kiss Emma. And in her opinion nothing was sweeter than the taste of Emma's lips. Regina pulled on the lapels of Emma's red jacket and drew her towards the large white stairs that curled through the inside of the Mifflin manor. Emma found that she no longer desired sleep, what she desired was to lay in Regina's arms.
Emma and Regina spent the night in each other's arms. Both smile and whispering sweet nothings. The two stayed awake to see the sun rise, to have the warm like crack through the curtains. Both women were in a hazy state of bliss. Content just being with each other.
##
let me know your thoughts.