Roaming around the halls, Lt. Colonel John Sheppard was trying to sort through the mess of thoughts running through his head. So many things running through his head at the same time. And the cause of his inner turmoil? The one and only Jennifer Keller. The CMO, and one of the most beautiful women who set foot on Atlantis.
He knew he wasn't the only one who was interested in the good doctor. Thus his reason for keeping his feelings under wraps. It's not like he was unattractive or anything, the nurses and female soldiers have proven that. But what with the baggage that he carried especially from his divorce from Nancy,
he felt that she deserved someone better, someone more...whole.
But that was awhile ago. Ok it was this morning, but now he had an even better reason for not telling her. She simply did not feel the same way. And that notion had been proven by the conversation he over heard her having with Cadman...
HOUR AND A HALF EARLIER
John was on his way to the infirmary to find Atlantis' CMO. Because amazingly, he felt unusually confident this morning. Not that he doesn't every other day, but in this case it involved him wanting to ask a certain doctor out for dinner. He had been approaching her office door, and was prepparing to knock when he heard the sound of another voice in the room. And from what he could make out, it was Jennifer and Lt. Cadman.
"So your not interested in the Colonel? Not even a little bit?" He heard Cadman ask her. This was indeed a very good question, and he found himself leaning closer to the door, waiting for her response. For a second there he thought that his heart was going to beat out of his chest. And he was oddly giddy, but that quickly died away when he heard her answer.
"N-No! No! God No! I-I mean come on Laura that would just be...really..." John had turned on his heel and was making his way towards the door. He was sure that his heart was in his stomach right now. His emotions must have been showing on his face because he was stopped by Marie at the doors.
"Colonel" She said, a look of concern on her face. "Are you alright? I can go and get Doctor Keller-"
"NO!" He shouted urgently at the last part. "I mean no. I'm fine Marie, but thanks for asking." He said, forcing a smile on his face to prove it.
Marie looked at him curiously for a second, then nodded and went back to doing inventory. John sighed in relief and made his way out the door...
PRESENT
And now here he is. He made his way to the south pier and sat down, his feet dangling over the edge. He never expected that her answer would have this much impact on him. He thought that it would be easier if he knew whether or not she felt the same, that it wouldn't be so hard, and that he would get over it. But this. It was like His heart had been ripped out.
'Guess you cared more for her than you thought Sheppard' He thought bitterly to himself. In a way this should not be as bad as it was. He knew now. Knew that he didn't have a chance. Knew that he was right to bury his feelings. And lastly that it was vital that he get over the way he felt. Now more than ever.
John sighed deeply and ran a hand through his hair. He was a soldier, he didn't have time to mull over unrequited love. 'It is what it is' He told him self. He had work that needed to be done anyway.
John got up, and with one last look over the water, turned to make his way to his office. But he was stopped in his tracks before he even had the chance to take a step.
Because Jennifer was standing there right in front of him. He was momentarily stunned til he remembered what had occured, and that quickly sobered his thoughts.
"Hi." She said shyly. She was wringing her hands nervously, and biting her lip in a way that made him want so badly taste them. He clenched his eyes shut at the thought.
"Hi." He replied. "What are you doing here?" He asked. She was supposed to be in the infirmary, attending to what ever patient was waiting in there.
"I was just taking a walk. Ya know. Some fresh air." She said, seemingly interested in her shoes.
"But the infirmary isn't even close to the south pier. Unless you ment to work on your cardio that is." John said, trying to make light of the situation, even though her story had huge holes in it.
But then it came to him. She must have known that he had heard what she said. Marie must have told her, and now she probably feels guilty. 'Great. Pity is just what I need.'
He thought sarcasticaly. She probably wanted to explain. And that meant he was gonna have to deny everything that she was probably going to say, or tell her how he felt.
And right now, the former was sounding allot better.
"Look." They both said at the same time. Jennifer briefly smiled and looked away again.
"You go ahead." John said. Maybe if he knew what was going through her head than he could better diffuse the situation.
"I...Marie told me that you were at the infirmary earlier. And I just wanted to know if you wanted anything or needed anything or... heard anything. Cause if you did, I want you to know that it wasn't true." She said in a hurry.
"Look Jen I- wait- what?" He said, just processing what she had said. Jennifer started biting her lip again which, in all honesty, was driving him insane. He took a few steps closer so that he was only about a foot or two away from her. "You mean you...you are...interested.?" He reluctantly asked, studying her expression. Jennifer nodded, looking everywhere but at him.
The sudden relief that John felt was almost overwhelming. He had gone from feeling the lowest of low to the highest of high, and all in a few seconds. He took another step,
and reached out to grab her hands in his. "Well then why did you...?"
"I didn't exactly know how you felt. Still don't actually." She said with a little nervous laugh. He smoothed his thumb over her hand to try and sooth her nerves. He dropped one hand and tilted her chin to look up at him. Her eyes focusing on his cheeks and forehead. Any where but his own eyes. She knew she would melt the moment she looked into them.
"Same as you." He replied. His answer finally got her to really look at him. And a smile was starting to build on both their faces.
"Yeah?" She asked, her hot from his close proximity. He simply leaned forward and caught her lips in a long over due kiss. 'This is even better than I imagined.' She thought bring her arms up to circle around his neck. Her fingers tangling in to the soft dark hairs on his head. John having his arms locked tight around her, almost afraid that he had imagined this whole thing.
The kiss was sweet and tender and loving. It showed all the emotion they had pent up for each other over the months. When they finally broke the kiss, John leaned his forehead against hers, and smiled at her flushed face. Her eyes were glowing as he tucked a strand of hair that the wind had blown in her face behind here ear. Suddenly a thought occured to John that made hime chuckle.
"What?" She asked with a blissful smile on her face.
"Just wondering how your going to explain this to Cadman." He replied with a grin.
THE END.
R&R.