I'm not going to preface this with much of anything other than it's an Alcide/Claudine story extended from Darker Desires. It's written in the first person from Claudine's point of view. That may eventually change. Have fun!
As always thank you Charlaine Harris for not suing the pants off of me for taking all of your characters out to play in strange and twisted ways. All creds go to you!
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I felt like I had failed Sookie in so many ways. Granted, she was still alive in some form or another, but it was not in her original form. She was broken. She was no longer the sweet little southern American girl I had grown to love as my cousin in that short amount of time we had together. I had guilt lying heavily on my chest and I was not sure when it would ever leave. I had a hand in successfully thwarting an all-out Fae/Vampire/Human/Were war and what did I have to show for it? I had massive amounts of guilt, that is what I had to show for it. Sookie was no longer part human, part Fae. She was even more a bastardized version of a creature she once was. Now we had to throw vampire into the title whenever we referenced her heritage. As much as I tried to get over it all and to just let it move past me, I couldn't. That last day with her as a human kept playing over and over in my mind. Subsequently it kept breaking my heart over and over again.
I had never seen a vampire cry before. I had never heard a vampire mourning the loss of something before. I hoped to never hear it again in my existence. Watching the great Eric Northman drop to his knees, blood red tears tracking down his face and dripping onto his bare chest was already too much to witness. Hearing him actually sob out "Sookie, no, stay with me, I love you. I do not know if I can do this to you." And then watching him, trembling, suck the last bit of life from her and replace it with his own essence, all the while the entire time crying now silent tears. Even though he was no longer a breather, his chest heaved with the effort of his cries. When her chest finally stilled, a battle cry that would probably scare the Almighty himself rent the air, causing the last vestiges of the fight to flee, licking their wounds on their way. Sookie was broken, and Eric Northman seemed equally broken.
It physically hurt to help bury the both of them. As her now maker, Eric had to lie underground with her for three days during the change, offering comfort and psychic guidance if something were to go wrong. Even if Eric weren't her maker, he would've demanded to be with her in those first three days. I'm positive he would demand to be inseparable from her for the rest of his long life if he had his way; if the fates had their way. They were meant to be. I am just glad I did not have to bury them alone, Alcide was with me throughout the process. He was silent comfort to me. I could tell he was just as upset as I at the outcome of the events since we were brought into the employ of Mr. Northman. We never once thought it would come to this. Well, I thought about it a time or two, but I never thought it would happen like this, and I never thought Eric would be one to want to cling to her humanity.
Alcide and I placed our shovels into the ground after we buried them. We didn't bother smoothing the ground and absolutely did not pack the earth around them. We wanted for a simple and easy escape at the end of Sookie's turning. I guess I had shoved my shovel a little too hard into the ground because it stuck up of it's own accord after I let go of it. I leaned my weight onto it and let out a very sad sigh. It was absolutely silent in Sookie's backyard. Her Gran, bless her soul, hadn't witnessed any of these events and we would just have to explain everything to her later. She was a strong old woman and terribly accepting of the supernatural (well obviously, she had a Fae lover) so I knew for certain this change would go over with nothing but genuine love and affection. It would take her time to adjust, but adjust she would and she would do it with style. Adele was a special woman. I could definitely see what Fintan saw in her and why he risked all that he did to be with the woman.
I let out a long sigh and hunched my shoulders. It was only a breathe of a second but I felt a pair of strong, warm, and slightly earth tainted hands cover my shoulders. They encompassed so much of my flesh that for the first time in my life I felt tiny compared to another being. I was incredibly tall, even for a Fae, but my bone structure itself was small. Those hands did delicious things to the tension that was coiled within my neck and back. They moved in small, precise circles, only changing position when each area was fully relieved and satisfied. By the time he finished with my neck and shoulders, I was absolute putty in his hands. It wasn't until he took his hands away from me that I noticed how far he was standing away from me. It was too far. I wanted him closer. I had never had these feelings within me. The only time I had ever been with a man was for mating purposes and that had only happened thrice. In all three circumstances I had never actually felt pleasure. In this particular circumstance, so soon after a stressful day/night/event, I wanted to abandon myself to him. I could feel the rumble of his words in the air.
"We should go in case Adele wakes up and looks outside." He practically whispered the words.
"Go where?" I said breathlessly.
"I think both of us need to destress a little. Where do you live? I live about 25 miles away." Alcide stated simply. The words made me shiver. What was it he was implying exactly?
"I live much further away than that. In a world you cannot get to." She chuckled. "Your place it is."
He reached his large hand to my thin, cool one and I felt my entire body flame with the contact. I had no idea what this Alcide did to me but I wasn't about to stop any of it. We walked until we reached Sookie's old car. The car felt like it was from ages ago, even though it was merely a couple of days in the past. I felt a twinge in my stomach at just simply seeing the car. Would Sookie abandon this car as a remnant of her old life? Or would she carry it over into her new life? Eric had a veritable army of vehicles for her to choose from, it wasn't necessary to keep the Lemon. But the car was such a vital aspect of the personality that was Sookie Stackhouse. I shook my head. That Sookie Stackhouse no longer existed, and I needed to let that woman go and get to know the new woman in just a few days time. Alcide produced the keys to Sookie's old car and unlocked the doors, opening the passenger side for me like a true gentleman, even closing it behind me. I buckled myself into the car that even smelled like Sookie as I watched Alcide slide into the driver's seat. He started the engine without a word and silently drove away from the Stackhouse property.
We had been traveling down the road for about 10 minutes before Alcide finally spoke. He did not take his eyes from the road. "What do you expect of me Claudine?"
His question took me entirely off guard. What did I expect of him? I wasn't sure what he meant by that. I thought we were two creatures trying to seek some comfort after a devastating event. And that comfort, at least in my mind, did not involve sexual release. My life wasn't about that. I wanted to go with him to be comforted and for some reason his aura spoke of ease. He seemed like a warm blanket on a cold night. "I just do not want to be alone this morning. Nothing more, nothing less." For the time being. I thought silently to myself.
He visibly relaxed. "I can be your shoulder to cry on. I can be the arms that hold you. But I don't know if I can promise you anything else."
"That is all I'm asking."
"That's all I want. And that's all I need tonight. My head is pounding with everything that has happened and I just want to be able to fall asleep without having a nightmare. I think that you could help me with that."
"Ditto." I used my favorite line from the movie Ghost. It was the most simple word that could ever be created that encompassed so much knowledge and emotion. It was like the world wrapped in a tiny and presentable package. Ditto was this world's most perfect word.
We rode in companionable silence for not much longer when we pulled up to the gate of a very nice apartment complex. The guard new Alcide by name and gave him a temporary pass for the car. He explained away the car as a friends that he was going to work on for the next couple of days and didn't want it to get unnecessarily towed. We pulled into a spot outside of building F. Once again, like a gentlemen, Alcide got out of the car before me and came around to my door, opening for me and presenting a hand to help me up. He was starting to look like a 1940s romantic movie cliche. But it made me all the more bubbly inside and at the present time, with all the other emotions fighting inside of me, I was perfectly ok with that.
We didn't have to walk far, turns out that Alcide has a first floor apartment. He fished around in his pocket one handed for his keys because my hand was still encased in one of his. He opened the door and allowed me to enter first. The place was distinctly male but was very nice, chic, and clean. "I would offer you something to drink and eat but I am so dead on my feet I just might fall asleep in the kitchen." His face looked anxious, apologetic.
"Don't worry about it, I don't have an appetite. Who knows when that'll come back." I said to him, trying to reassuring him. Alcide made a grunting noise of agreement. He put his hand at the small of my back and led me towards the rear of his apartment. I would get the grand tour some other time, it really wasn't a concern of mine at the present moment. He pushed open a door, led me inside, and closed it behind him.
"Uh, I guess, welcome to my lair." He chuckled nervously. I thought it endearing he nicknamed his bedroom. At least he didn't call it the batcave or something. I learned all I could about humans through watching their cinema and I don't know how I felt about men running around in tights and capes pretending to be superheroes and/or vigilantes. I could vaguely make out the room due to the slight glow coming from the rising sun on the horizon. Sookie would never see another sunrise, or a sunset. Before I could even stop myself, tears began to stream down my face in silent little tracks. Alcide's back was to me so I hastily tried to compose myself before he caught me being emotional. However, an uncontrolled little combination sniffle/sob escaped my lips when I went to take a breath and he was in front of me in mere seconds. If I had never saw his Were form, or took note of the time of day, I would have sworn he just moved at vampire speed. Vampire.... I sobbed harder.
He wrapped his large, warm arms around me, making slight shushing noises, not to quiet me necessarily but in an attempt to bring me comfort. "There, there I've got you. It's ok, it'll all be ok. Tell me what's wrong? What has your crying, beautiful?"
He called me beautiful. "I was just thinking how Sookie will never see another sunrise or sunset again. She loved just lying out and getting a tan. Now she'll never have that." I stifled another round of sobs. He patted my back and smoothed my hair; remaining silent for just a moment.
"But now she'll get to glory in the beauty of the stars and the moonlight. She'll get to see meteor showers, comets, and lunar eclipses. She'll be able to spend the rest of Eric's life with him. More importantly, she is now able to protect herself."
I really was listening to him and trying to absorb his words. But I still couldn't help blaming myself for all the things she lost and completely ignoring any of her gains. "But she is no longer a human?"
"She never really was just a human, now was she?"
The Were had a point.
"Let's get this dirt and grime off and go to sleep, alright?" He gestured towards the bathroom. Was he implying that we were going to clean up... together? A wonderful shiver started at the nape of my neck and extended all the way down to my toes. I'm pretty sure he felt it, being that I was still in his arms.
"Together or seperate?" I figured I would clear the air just a little bit, but used my most flirtacious tone. Given the current circumstance, my tone was kind of snuffly due to my crying but I'm pretty sure my point got across.
"I'm all about water conservation, going green, all of that nonsense. It's best if we take one together... don't you think?" There goes that traitorous shiver again.
"I agree."
A/N: This story is going to be a reflection on how Alcide and Claudine cope with what happened in Darker Desires. It is most definitely going to bring the two of them very, very close together in due time. They are going to want to use each other to help themselves deal. Expect guest appearances from the happy undead couple as well as the ever so lovely and snarky Pam. I kind of have a vague idea of where this is going... not a major plot or anything but just an idea. It's pretty much a fun story of the nature of human comfort through companionship and... well... sex. Feel free to toss suggestions and thoughts my way about where you see this going or elements you would like to see in this story! Also, get ready for my AH Eric and Sookie story, I will be posting that one very shortly... I'm getting all the kinkies (uhem... I mean kinks) out of it.