Mary Lynette stretched and rose from the rock, rubbing her hands together to try and generate some warmth. She shivered as she made her way back down the hill in the dark, pulling her jumper sleeves down over her frozen fingers. She hadn't brought her telescope or binoculars with her tonight, she had just wanted some time to herself, to think, and even the stars were distracting at the moment.
She sighed as she slid into her shiny secondhand mini-cooper. It had been a birthday present from Rowan, Kestrel and Jade, of course Mary Lynette had tried to object and tell them that it was too much money to spend on her but they had swept the complaints aside and justified their actions by telling her it was a thank you present for everything she had done for them. And, after all, they were family now.
She pulled into the driveway and silently made her way up the stairs, changing into the sweats and tank top she usually slept in and sweeping her thick hair back into a ponytail.
She sat on her bed and flicked through a magazine for a few seconds, willing herself to fall asleep, but realizing after a while that sleep would be impossible. Sighing she got up again, feeling a lot like a lost schoolchild, left behind on a fieldtrip with no idea where to go. Of course, she lived here, had done all her life, and had been perfectly content up until last summer, so there was no reason for her to be unhappy, she told herself. She tried to focus on the good things in life as she pulled a blanket down from the top of the laundry cupboard and wrapped it around herself as she entered into the night air, sitting on the hard wooden bench on her back porch.
Stop being so ungrateful, she told herself sternly, as an image flashed into her mind, showing her all the reasons she had to be happy; her brother, hand entwined with Jades, Kestrel and Rowan stood beside her and her father and Claudine next to Mark, everyone smiling with the stars spread above them like a biblical painting, and she was sat in front of them all, smiling placidly.
But it was empty, because behind their picture of happiness and contentment was a blonde figure, his face hidden by shadows, glorious and dark. And alone.
And the image shifted before her eyes, melding and contorting into something different, the same image, but with Mary Lynette standing, in the arms of the blonde figure, and they were both beaming at each other, eyes locked as though there were no-one else in the world.
I miss him. Mary Lynette thought to herself miserably, and there's nothing I can do to bring him back.
She felt the tears threaten to spill over and wiped the back of her hand across her eyes ferociously. I will not cry she ordered herself, even as the traitorous drops made lines down her cheeks.
I miss him so much.
It was meant to get better, that she was sure of. Everyone said that time made it easier. Sure she was okay, maybe even content at times, but she couldn't be happy without him, not without Ash.
It had been 13 months since he had left, 9 since anyone had heard anything. She wasn't the only one that was worried, but whenever she voiced her concerns Rowan always told her that Ash had been in worse trouble before and that he could take care of himself. None of the sisters ever elaborated on what that trouble usually was and Mary Lynette wasn't sure if she was glad for that or not. But he was meant to come back, he had promised, she had been counting down the days. She couldn't wait to see him again, if he came back, and even then, if he did come back, he might not stay; might decide that there were more interesting things or people out there, might decide that he didn't want to be tied to a dead place like Briar Creek or he might just realize that he had freedom without her.
When the tears had finally stopped she stayed sitting, gathering the blanket closer around herself and staring into the bushes at the back of the garden, not really seeing the darkened trees, living in a world where everyone was happy, allowing herself a rare moment to fantasize. Re-visiting the best days of her life, the days when she had been with Ash, even though they hadn't known they were soul-mates.
She knew, by some basic instinct, that she still wouldn't be able to sleep, so she stayed outside, at one with the night and the stars, and yet still not seeming to fit in.
As the time crept slowly towards the witching hour, Mary Lynette heard a sound from inside the house. She turned just as her brother crept out of the back door, focusing on keeping the door from slamming or creaking and therefore not seeing her until he turned around.
"Mare? Jeez, you nearly gave me a heart attack!" he whispered, smiling sheepishly at being caught sneaking out.
"I would ask you where you were going but it is kinda obvious" she made an effort to grin at him and motioned with her head to continue "Go on, I won't tell if you don't"
"Thanks Mare!" Mark bounded down the steps like an overexcited puppy and disappeared off into the darkness.
A little while later, just long enough for Mark to have gotten to Jade and told someone where she was, Mary Lynette had a visitor.
"Mary Lynette? You okay?" Rowan appeared out of the shadows like a fallen angel and went to sit quietly beside her best friend. Rowan put her arm around her and Mary Lynette leant her head against her shoulder.
"I know it's hard" Rowan whispered, rubbing Mary Lynette's arm soothingly.
"I'm fine" she whispered, straightening up and trying to regain her composure, not wanting to show just how much Ash had changed her. She had to be stronger.
"I'm sorry, Mary Lynette. I can't tell you when he's going to come back" she looked towards the ground, not meeting her friends gaze. "I can't ring dad incase he finds a way to make us come back. I'm sorry."
"No its okay" Mary Lynette smiled weakly again "It's not your fault, I'm just worried"
"I know" Rowan hugged her "We all are, but don't worry, Ash knows how to take care of himself." Rowan felt Mary Lynette's head move as she nodded in agreement.
Rowan rose to her feet, agilely pulling away from the bench where Mary Lynette stood alone.
"Are you going to be okay?" Mary Lynette knew that there was a double meaning in her words but she nodded anyway.
"I'll be alright" another weak smile and Rowan nodded as though she could see straight through her.
"Okay then, you know where we are if you need anything" She turned to leave, then turned back towards the darkened porch, meeting Mary Lynette's gaze.
"I really am sorry I cant do anything. But, just don't get your hopes up, I'm not saying he hasn't changed but…"
"Yeah…" Mary Lynette trailed off as Rowan strode silently into the darkness.
The next morning, tired and feeling worn down, Mary Lynette made her way over to the old farmhouse.
"Mary Lynette!" Jade released Marks hand and flew gracefully down the steps, long hair drifting behind her, giving her an even more ethereal quality than usual.
"Jade" she hugged her best friend casually and realized how much she had missed this house. She had been avoiding it.
"Mark said you came to help paint the house" Jades smile was genuine as she led Mary Lynette gently into the house.
"Yeah, I thought you could do with a hand" Mary Lynette was only half lying, of course she wanted to help her family, but she also wanted to distract herself, and maybe speak with them about Ash.
"Everything's ready, we were thinking we should start on the back…"
The morning quickly faded into afternoon and they worked quickly, and as they did Mary Lynette found herself relaxing, feeling more at ease than she had in months. She found herself joining in the idle chatter and joking as they all took a break in the mid-afternoon heat.
They were interrupted by Kestrels cell ringing.
"Hello?" she asked as soon as the phone was at her ear; there weren't many people that would be ringing any of the girls unless it was an emergency, and everyone stopped their own conversations to listen.
"What?!...What so you think-…No-…wait…no, you listen…eurgh, whatever" she hung up, glaring at the phone as she snapped it shut.
"Excuse us a second" she spoke to Mary Lynette and Mark as she met Jade and Rowans gaze, the three sisters stood silently and made their way into the house.
"I wonder what that was about" Mark asked his sister, toying with his lemonade glass.
"I have no idea" Mary Lynette said quietly, watching the door for any sign that the secretive conversation was finished and that she would be clued in on what was going on.
Kestrel, Rowan and Jade appeared again a few minutes later, all wearing masks of varying serenity, obviously, Mary Lynette thought, keeping something hidden.
"What's going on?" Mary Lynette asked cautiously, hoping that calm Rowan would explain and not the ever ferocious Kestrel, who, despite always being well-mannered towards Mary Lynette, she felt didn't like her.
"Don't worry about it, its nothing important" Mark and Mary Lynette exchanged a curious, disbelieving look before letting the subject drop.
It was only later on, when the job was done and Mary Lynette was sat with Jade and Mark in the living room, Kestrel and Rowan in the kitchen, that she realized they had been keeping something important from her.
Jade and Mark were cuddling on the sofa, gazing into each others eyes in a moment that felt so private that Mary Lynette felt she was intruding just being in the same room.
She got up and left as silently as possible, trying to give the couple some space and deciding she would go find Rowan and Kestrel. She walked down the hall and was about to walk into the kitchen when she heard raised voices, sounding agitated.
"Well what has he done for her? Other than leaving her hanging for months, leaving us all hanging without so much as a word-"
"I know but she has a right to know, if he wants to talk to her then-"
"It will never work. It's breaking the law for one, and do you honestly believe what he says about-"
"I do. I trust him now, I honestly believe that he's changed for the better" Mary Lynette could tell that it was Rowan speaking, now that they had lowered their voices. And she knew what they were talking about; as she put two and two together she realized with a jolt that the phone call was connected, and that they were talking about her and Ash.
"How do you know? The last thing I heard Ash was enjoying himself with some bimbo gold digger in Vegas, not even lamia."
"That might not be true. You don't know-"
"But I do, Thea said, and she wouldn't make that sort of thing up. He's back to his old games, a new girl each week."
Her head was spinning as Mary Lynette ran back down the hall and wrenched open the front door, not caring that it slammed, not even waiting to see if she was being followed or if Rowan and Kestrel had noticed her presence.
Ash was with someone else. Of course. Mary Lynette scolded herself, trying to hold off the hurt and failing miserably Of course he found someone else, you didn't really expect him to change for you, did you? You didn't honestly believe in all that fairytale, slaying of dragons and knight in shining armor stuff, did you? He's a vampire for christs sake, he can do much better than you…
Mary Lynette found herself wandering down the dirt road, tears rolling slowly down her cheeks, wondering why Ash hadn't even called her. Coward. He couldn't even tell her he wasn't interested anymore, or maybe he just forgot about her. She should never have let him go, heck she should never have even got involved in the first place. She found herself walking through the forest in the cool night air, usually the clear evening and smell of pine needles would have soothed her, but now everything seemed magnified, the noises were pressing down on her, sucking her under a cloak of despair.
She had been waiting for him for over a year. She had thought he'd changed. She loved him. She had been foolish enough to believe in fairytale endings and now she was on her own. She was alone and she could never be happy without him. All the thoughts whirled around her head, over and over.
After a few hours of aimless wandering, Mary Lynette found herself back at the farmhouse, numb and exhausted both at the same time.
Rowan sprinted lithely down the steps, enveloping Mary Lynette in a tight yet gentle hug "I'm so sorry. I should have told you before, it wasn't fair for you to find out that way"
She pulled away and looked Mary Lynette in the eyes before apologizing again.
"It's okay, Rowan. Really." She tried to smile but it felt wrong on her face so she just let it fall back into whichever expression she had been wearing before. Which was a mistake.
"Come on, lets get you warmed up, its freezing out here" Rowan regarded her with cautious eyes, as though she were worried she would break down any second.
Mary Lynette let herself be steered into the house and listened obediently as Kestrel and Jade both apologized, before telling them not to worry. She quietly pulled Rowan aside a little later and asked her if her brother was coming back, and if he'd really been with another girl. Rowan didn't even need to open her mouth, Mary Lynette could read the answer in her eyes. She nodded once and turned her face away as Rowan embraced her again and mumbled for what seemed the hundredth time that day that she was sorry as Mary Lynette told her, again, that it wasn't her fault.
When they all finally returned to the living room Mary Lynette soon felt herself falling into trouble dreams.