I do not own Sly or any part of that franchise.

I couldn't figure out what to write a Christmas fanfic for this year (and I wasn't going to do a Kingdom Hearts one because I did that last year), so I chose to make a Sly Cooper one! …How ironic…the first fanfiction I write about a band of thieves is about the season of giving…

Prepare yourself for a weird and crappy fanfiction

In the apartment in Paris that somehow was never looked at by the police, a green box turtle in his young adulthood sat like he always did in his wheelchair. Bentley was at the computer, searching Thiefnet – as a second to last resort – for an item he could buy as a present for the final friend left: Sly Cooper. How he was going to get said gift to the raccoon who, at the time, was masquerading as the partner to the woman from whom he had been running for so long, the turtle hadn't a clue.

"I-I'll think of something – just give me time!" he stalled when Penelope asked him that same question days earlier. Now it was Christmas Eve, and Bentley had had no such luck with finding something for Sly or thinking of a way to get it to him. Everyone else had been sent their gifts, whether he had gotten them from Thiefnet or some unsuspecting victim.

As he sneezed violently from his allergies – he told Penelope to make sure there were no tomatoes when she was making their dinner soup – Bentley was about ready to give up. After all, how was it supposed to get past Carmelita if he were to find one? This was one of the first problems he just wasn't able to solve. Sly was his best friend, yet he was so hard to find Christmas presents for.

What would Sly like now?

What would get him in trouble with Carmelita?

What would make him know that Bentley still cared?

These and many more ran through his mind. At this rate, there was no way the raccoon would get anything from Bentley until after the holiday. Ugh, I still can't think of anything, Bentley thought. His tiny pupils flashed over to the 'tree' he and Penelope had 'generously received' from the shop 'for free'. There was an assembly kit to make RC vehicles for his remote control princess, a blow-up raft for the juggernaut of a hippo, a collection of torpedoes for the diving iguana, a package of sparklers for the Panda King, and a snazzy new walking staff for the mind-controlling, pacifistic koala that by coincidence, looked strangely similar to a cane used in an episode of House a few years earlier. Penelope had even left one for Bentley, which he had been given explicit instructions – and promised…rewards – for not opening it.

But, as has been stated by the narrator numerous times since the start of this account, there was nothing for Sly. Bentley wheeled himself over to the window, carefully peering out through the curtains so as not to be seen by passing guards. No one seemed to have anything in their pocket worth enough.

"I'm freaking out here! I need something for Sly – now!" This whole thing was stressing him out, big-time.

Why was it so hard to give something to Sly? Well, first of all, it's difficult to give to a thief who could just steal it from somewhere else for himself. Also, how long had it been since the two had had a normal conversation together? Exactly. Bentley didn't even know where to start!

He put his head in his hands. The turtle didn't want to be a bad friend by leaving one of his best pals out, but he didn't want to keep looking for something that was impossible to find.

A pair of light violet hands grasped his shoulders. "Bentley, don't ya think it's time to go to sleep?" Penelope whispered in his ear, her blond hair wisping his cheek. "Tomorrow's Christmas!"

"But what about Sly? Out of all the things I could have failed in doing for him, this is what it comes down to."

"Why don't you make a card?" she suggested exhaustedly, taking the first idea that popped into her usually active brain. When he doesn't respond, she rolled her eyes with a smile and went to get a much needed rest.

"Hmm…" muttered Bentley. "That might work." It wasn't the most preferred way to go, but what other choice did he have other than ignoring his friend. Plus, a piece of paper would be a lot easier to deliver than a box. Why didn't he think of this before?

"Thanks, Penelope," he shouted into the room she slept. He received a muffled 'You're welcome' in response.

So he got to writing and drawing…

The next morning, he awoke with his head on the counter, the drool on the surface shining in the Christmas morning light. Groggily, he rubbed his eyes under his glasses and glanced over at the stolen symbol of the giving season. Underneath the pines, he noticed that there a different number of items had a place there. Most noticeable was the different color paper next to Penelope's present. Bentley knew he had used blue – since blue was Sly's favorite color – paper for the card. Now it was green.

His hands rolled the wheels of his enhanced wheelchair over and picked it up. His eyes then scanned the words written in cursive, a handwriting not often used by the turtle.

"Merry Christmas, pal," the front read. "I couldn't think of anything to give you, either."

Bentley opened the card and his eyes widened. For Sly, this was a long piece of writing he wrote. Emphasis on the fact that Sly wrote it.

"I know I can't see you all the time, but come on – you don't really expect me to not embrace my lifetime occupation, do you? We both know that eventually, it'll be back to life as usual – us running from Carmelita…well, you'd be hovering with your wheelchair, actually. You're my best friend (you know, besides Murray), and you're also my family. Ever since we met in that orphanage, we've been like brothers. You did all the brainwork, and I did all the sneaking, Murray doing all the muscle-jobs.

"You'd be proud, Bentley. Working with Carmelita, I've learned a lot of the things I was always too bored and ignorant to pay attention to when you said it (Sorry, pal – you know me well enough to know that that kind of stuff is your department.). But it's not the same. I finally feel smart, but I don't have you watching my back, and I can't repay you by doing what you and Penelope almost do best – because it's not hard to tell what you do best; you're a great friend, no matter how hard it is to find some object to put in a box and sneak it into where I live…"

In random places across the green paper, Bentley's eye caught erase marks, as well as one or two wet spots. He smiled.

"Well, before you wake up, I should finish this up…I'll see you soon, Bentley.

Merry Christmas, Bentley.
Sly Cooper"

Looking down at a small scribble, he had to squint more to read the rushed scrawl. He let out a laugh.

"By the way, you might want to enhance that security system of yours. If I can get through it without tripping any of the technical stuff, you know it's too easy!"

The moral of the story: When in doubt, make a card! :P

Now, let's just hope has a section for Sly FFs…If not, it's going to Misc. *searches* YES!

By the way, no, Sly 3 is NOT the only Sly game I'm familiar with/have played. There are just so many references to that game in this fanfiction…

And I know that Sly sounds REALLY OOC in that letter but…I don't know how to defend that!

Hope you enjoyed this cruddy short story! MERRY CHRISTMAS!

R/R!

-Pamela