What had she done? She had told Serena she didn't want to hurt her yet she had by accepting a job she didn't truly want for reasons she couldn't bring herself to justify. Serena's admission of love had scared her yet hadn't it been clear that the feisty brunette had been trying to tell her that all day? She had asked Bernie not to go, she had pleaded with her in front of the entire ward and Bernie did what Bernie did best when she was feeling scared. She ran. She knew she was a coward, of mammoth size proportions, and all she wanted to do was rush back to the hospital and gather Serena up into her arms telling she was sorry and she'd stay if it meant they could be together

"Bloody coward that's what I am" Bernie didn't need to leave for another few days and she intended not to step a foot out of the door and absolutely nowhere near Holby City Hospital unless her actual life depended on it. Bernie was just about to break open a bottle of wine when someone rings her intercom. She sighs, leaving the half opened bottle on the coffee table and glass to answer her door "Yes?"

"Mum it's me. Can I come up?" Cameron. This was a pleasant surprise and a needed one. She needed to tell him about her going away... again. This was going to be hard but as long as he knew she was coming back it should be okay

"Of course. I was just about to phone you anyway" That was a lie but Bernie knew she would have to do it eventually. She buzzes Cameron in and leaves the door open a little before heading back in the living room pouring herself a large glass of wine and sitting back down on the sofa. She takes a large drink and smiles weakly when she hears Cameron close the door and pad into the living room

"That sort of day mum?" Bernie scoffs unable to shift the image of Serena's heartbreak from her mind.

"You have no idea" Cameron sits down next to his mum and smiles tiredly. "How's Charlotte? Your dad?" Bernie had little interest in Marcus but was anxious for news on Charlotte, who still hadn't contacted her.

"They're good mum. Charlotte is keen to meet up with you she doesn't know how to approach you about it. You know Lottie" Bernie chuckles sipping her wine. Charlotte had always been the quiet, shy one who would jump at her own shadow. Not so much now however but Bernie still saw the shy little girl every time she looked at a photo or talking about her.

"Yes. I'm glad you came over. I have some news" Bernie reaches over the coffee table and picks up the information pack on the Kiev hospital where she'd be working the next six months and hands it to Cameron "I've been offered a secondment. I've agreed to take it"

"A secondment? But what about your job at Holby, what about-about Serena?" The mention of Serena's name brings tears to the blonde's eyes, her heart breaking that little bit more. "I thought you had feelings for her"

"It's gone way beyond feelings Cam." Bernie closes her eyes and slides the wine glass onto the coffee table, her head dropping to her hands "We've kissed. Twice and she admitted she is in love with me"

"So you're running away? That's you all over mum. You used the army to escape from Dad and now you're using Ukraine to escape from Serena. When things get tough you run away." Bernie had no reply to Cameron's harsh words because they were true. She was a runner when it came to difficult situations. She knew her marriage to Marcus had been over for years before the she filed for divorce and having an affair with Alex was the last straw but with Serena it was the fear of being in a relationship, knowing she'd only probably screw it up a few months down the line that scared her the most. It wasn't about what Serena did and didn't want. Bernie knew Serena wanted her, that much Serena had made clear when she ran after her in AAU "What are you so afraid of mum? What's so scary that you run from everyone you love?"

"I'm no good at relationships Cam. I was unhappy with your father, I screwed up my chance with Alex and now I screwed up my chance with the only person I could ever see myself loving for the rest of my life because I see love as something that is fatalistic. Every chance I've had to be happy it's always ended in heartbreak and I can't go through that again. Not this time. I-I love Serena too much only to lose her when I make a mistake."

"Wow. Berenice Wolfe using the L word" Bernie looks at her son and shakes her head. He was right though. She never said 'I love you' and it had always made Cameron wonder why his mother was so cut off from her emotions "You've already made a mistake mum. You're leaving her." Cameron stands and looks down at his mother, who was clearly broken by the thought of leaving Serena and Holby "If you truly think that you and Serena would benefit from time apart then go to Ukraine but if you're only doing this because you're scared of what could happen then you're a coward mum. You don't know what will happen and I'm sure Serena is strong enough to keep you in line, she isn't afraid to speak her mind mum." Cameron leans down and presses a kiss to his mum's head before making for the door "It's up to you Mum. Fight or flight?" Cameron gives his mum a weak smile before leaving her to mull over her decision knowing she'd also mull over it with a few bottles of wine.

Back at Holby Serena was packing up to leave for the night. She had been unable to move from her desk since Bernie had walked away. The heartbreak she felt was worse than Edward or Robbie. Berenice Wolfe had shattered her and it would take a long time to pick up the pieces

"Serena. Are you alright?" the familiar Scottish twang of Raf echoed in her ears. Surely the entire ward was gossiping about Serena and Bernie's scene on the floor and it would no doubt spark conjecture and wild stories around the hospital "What's happened?"

"Ms Wolfe has accepted the secondment" Serena's tone was cold and bitter. She couldn't hate Bernie but she could be damned angry at her. She had bared her heart and Bernie had smashed it.

"What? I knew she was thinking about it but I never thought she'd take it" Serena glances up at Raf, her eyes red yet devoid of any emotion except anger and hurt "I know it's none of my business but has something happened between you and Ms Wolfe? I've never seen you look so..." Serena straightens up and looks at her friend wondering what he'll say "Heartbroken" Serena picks up her bag and throws it over her shoulder before looking at Raf again. The pain and fear evident in Serena's eyes Raf realises he may have hit upon the truth. He was shocked but the signs had been there. The longing looks and lingering touches. Serena had never let anyone get as close as she had let Bernie Wolfe and now Bernie was gone, there was only the devastation of her decision left behind "Serena I'm sorry"

"It doesn't matter now Raf. She's gone" Serena shuffles past the Scotsman and grabs her coat throwing it over her arm.

"Of course it matters Serena. I'll admit I'm a bit shocked but you two make such a brilliant team and I think you'd make a brilliant couple too." Raf puts a comforting hand on Serena's arm and smiles weakly knowing that there would be no words of comfort for Serena but he was willing to try "She'll come back realising what a grade A idiot she's been and beg you to forgive her" Forgiveness? Could Serena forgive Bernie? Yes she could in a heartbeat but could she trust the blonde not to break her heart again? Well that was another beast altogether.

"Thank you Raf." The man lets his hand fall from Serena's arm and he walks her out of the ward aware of the looks Serena was getting they walk out of the doors "I'll see you tomorrow" Raf nods his head and smiles sadly as he watches Serena walk down the corridor towards the exit.

"I hope, for your sake, Bernie Wolfe you don't leave your return too long in the future" Raf says quietly to himself as he turns on heel and heads back onto the ward.