Disclaimer: this is for my entertainment. I don't own RB, other ways TC would have been fired a long time ago! Yes I went there.

A.N.: first time writing RB fics. Possibly the last too lol. As I am not English, nor American, but Italian, you might find some grammatical mistakes. If you do let me know in the review, as I usually find them after I already uploaded the story.

as I hated what they(you who i am talking about!) did with Andy's character from s4 to s6, who resembled a carpet, in my opinion, I am taking matters into my own hands since it was driving me crazy.

This is AU from the moment Sam tells her in the cruiser about M's pregnancy (that was great writing #sarcasm), and frankly this is OOC because as I said in the summary Sam finds his balls, the pair of them, puts them on and actually behaves like Man while Andy realizes she's got a spine and she uses it. Who knew?

Because, in real life who would be ok with this? Not me.

So without further ado I give you this monster. This is something that I would have liked hear Andy say. That's all.

Women have a sixth sense for what is coming. She knew that going back to work after an heavenly vacation would bring changes. And if she could stay like this forever, in this bed, with Sam snoring next to her, would be great. But life had to continue so she resigned herself to the drive back home, and to a routine that really wasn't.

And the night after the attack in Tracey's apartment, she was restless. Almost like spasm on her back that couldn't leave her alone. She was anxious. And she didn't know why but for some reason, arrived at the apartment, she just couldn't sleep. Sam had been off also. She chucked it up to the attack. Kind of sobering thing to happen, when one is still lost in the bubble of an epic relationship.

Of course she should've known better. Trust your instinct and you'll never be wrong. Only she wished she was wrong now.

Marlo is pregnant. With Sam's baby.

What kind of a sick, sarcastic, bastard, cruel, son of a bitch could cook this up. I mean, if she told strangers what had happened to her in the last four years, they wouldn't believe it. She felt like she was stuck on some sort of parallel universe for which there was no escape.

And in reality she hated being stuck. She just couldn't cope with it. So she had bolted from the cruiser, and if she just could make the next ten seconds without telling Sam what she thought, everything would be fine. But , Sam, darling naïve Sam, he really thought that she would be able to listen right now. You don't spring this on a person, not someone that you are dating. Not now, not ever. So if she could just forget the fact that there was now a pregnancy, if she could forget why she was in this situation in the first place… oh right, she was in Love with Sam Swareck and that was that. God knows she tried to run from him, move on, date somebody else ( yeah, because that went well!). But nothing really stuck. Just Sam.

But she couldn't accept this as her new life, new reality. She refused to acknowledge that, while she was walking quickly toward the parking lot. Tracey, wonderful friend that she was, didn't say anything, but just hugged her, because what do you say in this situations.

But she still couldn't and wouldn't talk to Sam. Somewhere in her mind, she was really thankful for that. She was an independent woman, and if she didn't want to talk, she wouldn't talk. Marlo, smartly had made herself scarce, avoided her, and for that she was thankful. Sam too, although she could see him hitching to say something.

By the end of the week, things hadn't really been better, in fact it had been worse with every passing day. She felt angrier and angrier. She felt stuck in a badly written soap opera whose showrunner had written the script while under the influence, and that somehow she was just a pawn on somebody's else hands. The more angry she felt the more agitated she was.

This week being on the cruiser with Andy McNally was a hazard at your life. All the punks, and criminal she arrested this week had gotten a taste of just how much aggravated she was.

She knew this was not the adult way of dealing with things, but she didn't care. Was she hurting Marlo with her indifference? she really, really didn't give a damn. And cry me a river Sam Swareck was just getting on her nerves by breathing. So she just isolated and she was feeling pretty well about it!

Until that night, a knock on her door, opened the gates to what would be the biggest fight Sam and Andy had.

When she opened the door, somehow she was not surprised to see him "What are you doing here?"

"I think we need to talk, don't you think?" he said entering her apartment. He looked around the living room, and it was clear to him, that Andy trying to cope. Take away cartons on her precious coffee table, were usually a no no.

"Talk. Talk about what exactly?" she arched her eyebrow and crossed her arms on her chest. Sam knew that she was ready for a fight.

"You know what." he said looking down and looking back at her. Stance that made him of a cat in defense mod. She was ready to attack and he knew it. He just hoped that he could tell her what he knew, she needed to hear now.

"Marlo's pregnancy, what else?" she said, and the clenched her jaw.

"Yeah" he looked at her, while she was pacing.

"She had another break down and the pregnancy is a lie. It's a sympathy pregnancy." She said with a sarcasm that he knew well. She usually used it in the interrogation room for a suspect.

"What? no!"

"The baby isn't yours."

"No…it's mine, Andy. You know that" He said sighing.

"Then I don't understand what is that we have to talk about!"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, talking about stuff right now, means that you talk, trying to explain to me your reasons, Marlo's reasons, the innocence of the child in this screwed up situation, and that it is none's fault, and I have to nod lovingly, and accept whatever you say as the truth, and have absolutely no choice in doing anything else! It is what it and you have to live with it Andy! Isn't that the gist of it, Sam?" well damn, he thought.

Sam knew this was difficult to accept for her. Hell it's not like he was doing cartwheels either. But this, what happened, her shutting him out again, as she was doing right now, scared him more than anything else. He almost was afraid to ring the doorbell to find that she has packed things and went to another undercover mission. But he was not a stupid with a death wish. He would never tell her this out loud. Lord knows he had made terrible mistakes too. And he was sure bringing them up now was not the ideal thing to do if he wanted to live to see the child. So he tried. But how do you stop a train?

"I understand that it is difficult for you. It's difficult for me, but this is what is happening and I don't know what is it that you want me to do… I am not choosing between my child and you, Andy, I will not do that." He said firmly. He actually thought that this accusation would distract her from the loads of thoughts that he was sure, were torturing her. If he knew her at all, she was thinking college fund already. How do you split it Sam, 50/50 between you and Marlo or can I buy the mattress too, without consulting you two! But he could see from her serious stance that it hadn't worked.

"Of course you won't. This is not an ultimatum. I would never ask you to choose between me and your child. Possibly, me better than anyone else knows the important of a father. Especially in this case. And you see my brain knows that. It knows that I can't be mad at you, you were in a relationship, sex is part of it, and I can't blame Marlo because she was so out of it, I don't really think she had any thought to either her meds or the pill, and I can't be mad at the baby, can't I? he or she has no fault. But when you say it's not your fault, is such a load of crap! Of course it's your fault. Guess what Sam, if weren't paying attention in class, sex has consequences, one of which is…. Guess what?... PREGNANCY! If you don't understand where I am coming from, how about I tell you a story! "

"Andy, please listen to me…"

"No, no. YOU listen here. You and Marlo break up for whatever reason, I break up with Nick, only, since I was in a relationship, and I was having sex.." there it is. What he made himself ignore. If he didn't think about it didn't happen. He could ignore it. And now she was throwing it in his face and he knew where this was going..

"I don't want to hear this…" he said walking away from her. But she wouldn't stop, and unrelenting she continued to make her point.

"AND I WAS HAVING SEX, I got pregnant with Nick's child. How would you feel? Would you be accepting? Angry, furious… which one Sam?" no, Sam couldn't imagine that happening. No, and the first thought would be denial, and anger, and he was ashamed of it, he would shut her out again. Possibly beat up Collins… who knows, he thought, but mad wouldn't even scratch the surface of this, he was sure. And somehow he understood where she was coming from. She just continued talking.

"The thing is, I really don't have a choice do I? I am in love with you, and I can't be without you, but this, I never wanted this! I don't want this. I am not happy about this, and it is selfish but I can't be happy for you! There are going to checkups that you'll go to, with her. She is going to give birth and it'll be you and her in the room. And it's fine and dandy for you. You'll be bursting for joy because I know you. You already love this child more than anything. But what are you going to do the first week. Sleep at her house. Or she sleeping at yours. And where am I supposed to be in the mean time? I'll tell you where. Outside looking in. And it's a terrible position to be in. I am not strong enough I can't do it. I don't know if I'll ever be OK with it! I don't know if I need time. I don't know anything. All that I know is that I am stuck. Accept it, or accept it. But I am not ready to accept it yet. I am not. So you do what you have to do, just like always. Don't worry Sam I am not going anywhere…" she had thrown all this at him, like and avalanche and he just stood there.

She said she wanted the details, something he knew she would obsess over. Where would she be? Hopefully right next to him, if the jeweler hurried up with the incision on Andy's ring. Taking a deep breathe he realized that exhausted Andy had sat on the sofa with her head on her hands. He made her way to the coffee table and sat down.

"Andy, please know that this isn't what I wanted. This wasn't the plan. I don't know what is going to happen. The details, I don't know, but you will never be outside looking in, I promise."

"Alright." She really wasn't believing him. She had said with such a small voice, barely audible but it was a stoic ok. So he thought it was time. Now or never. Either grew a pair or walk out. Hell she had said it to him in his truck for the first time. He could totally do it now, in the privacy of her apartment. He took her face with his hands, the near to him he could be without kissing, and looked into her eyes.

"I am in love with you, and nothing, nobody will ever change that. You do know that right?"

"No, no I don't know that." She answered with tears already washing her face. Puffy and all. She was beautiful.

"Then I will make sure that you do know that… came on let's go to bed, it's late."

"I think you should go home."

"And I think I am home right here, right now."

End.

Review at your own risk… Lol

Madisondanes