A/N: So this is based off something Luke says in a promo for the series, and the information I've gathered from watching an endless stream of them.

Disclaimer: Rookie Blue is not mine!

DEATH

"You don't have to do this. Just put it down."

Steady. Keep it steady. Don't let him see how scared you are.

"Don't tell me what to do!"

Don't let him see you watching the way he's flinging that gun around everywhere. Concentrate on the officer lying on the floor, a hostage. Concentrate on getting him out of here alive.

"This isn't helping anything. If you don't let him go now, he's going to die."

So much blood… Too much blood.

"Stop it! Just stop it!"

"Look. Look at me! You have to put the gun down. I know you didn't mean to hurt him, but if you put the gun down, it might not be too late. I can help him."

"You're just saying that! I shot a cop! A fucking cop!"

"Yeah, you did. But I know it was an accident. You didn't mean it. If you put your gun down, I can help you. You didn't mean it."

"You're lying to me!"

"No. No, I'm not."

So much blood. He wasn't moving anymore. Shit.

"Yes you are!"

"How about this? Let a medic in here to help him, and you and I can talk this out. He needs medical attention."

"I- I- I can't go back to prison. I just can't."

"I know. I know you don't want to go back to prison, but if he dies, you're looking at so much more jail time. So let me help him, okay?"

"I didn't mean to… I panicked…"

"I know, so you have to let me help him."

Silence. More blood pooling on the floor. Don't look at it.

"Okay? Will you let me help him?"

Move slowly. Don't surprise him.

"That's it, put the gun down."

Quickly now. Put the handcuffs on. Give the all clear to come in.

Shaking slightly, Andy McNally knelt to the floor beside the bleeding man in uniform. His green eyes stared straight ahead. The puddle of red wasn't growing any longer. She couldn't think what that meant. She wouldn't believe it. Her body climbed down from the adrenaline high slowly as she gently pressed her fingers to the officer's neck.

Medics rushed into the house, followed by a handful of cops. Andy was shoved out of the way by someone as the knowledge she already held was announced authoritatively.

"He's gone."

Andy forced herself to stand, to walk out of the house and over to one of the five cop cars surrounding the area. She leaned against the door, her back turned as she heard the medics emerge with Officer Shaw in a body bag. She pressed her forehead against her clenched hands, fighting the tears. She wouldn't cry.

A strong, warm hand was laid shoulder. She ignored it.

"It wasn't your fault, McNally," Sam's voice was gentle and comforting, but she didn't want nor deserve comfort. It was her fault. She hadn't talked him down fast enough.

She remained silent, offering no acknowledgment to the senior officer. After a moment, she felt Sam's hand squeeze her shoulder, and then her removed it and walked away.

She rode back to the precinct with Williams, and the silence was deafening. She parked the car in the garage and turned to Andy after shutting off the ignition.

"You did everything you could, kid. Sometimes it just… well… Sometimes it just isn't the outcome we want. "

Andy nodded stiffly, and climbed out of the vehicle mechanically. Williams was lying; there had to be something more she could have done. She closed her eyes, jerking them back open when she saw empty green eyes staring back at her.

Paperwork. Fill out the report and get your mind off it.

Traci came to talk to her while she filled out the report. She was grateful that her friend cared, but she didn't know how to put in to words what she was feeling. She was a cop. How did cops deal with losing their partners?

While Andy herself didn't know the answer, she knew one person who dealt with death every day.

After finishing the paperwork and dealing with Boyco, Andy headed toward the homicide division, finding the office she wanted.

She knocked softly, "Luke?"

He looked up from the photographs on his desk and smiled, "Hey, I heard what happened. Nice job, talking the guy down. Too bad about Officer Shaw."

She grimaced. This was not what she was looking for at all. "Yeah… He's… He was…" She stopped trying to articulate anything. Nothing seemed right.

"What's up?"

She took a few steps in to the room, surveying the murder board, covered in pictures.

"How do you do it?" She asked softly, "Work around death every day, and not let it affect you."

He shrugged, standing up from his chair and stretching, "I guess I'm just used to it."

For some reason, his casual manner annoyed her, "How can you get used to death?"

Again, he shrugged.

"How can you be so casual about this?" She demanded.

"Why shouldn't I be casual about it?" He started to sense that she wasn't happy with his answers.

"Why shouldn't you be casual about it? Luke, an innocent officer –my partner- died tonight!"

"Yes, a police officer did die. But people are gonna die. That's just something you're gonna have to get used to," His voice was measured and calm, detached and cold.

She blinked back tears she hadn't known were there, "And what if I don't want to get used to it?"

He looked down momentarily, and then met her eyes, "Then maybe this isn't the job for you."

She was stunned into silence. What the hell? She'd come here, looking for support, and she was getting… well she wasn't entirely sure what it was she was getting, but she sure as hell didn't like it.

Finally, after a full two minutes of silence, she found her voice, "Then maybe you're not the one for me."

He only looked slightly taken aback by her sudden pronouncement.

"No, I suppose maybe I'm not."

She sighed, tears in her eyes now for two separate reasons. "Guess I'll see you around then."

He said nothing, and she left his office in a daze. How was it that this night could get any worse?

A/N: So I'm going to make this two chapters, because there isn't enough closure for my liking in this one, and because this feels short, but I wanted to end it here.