pure win. a fanfic
Part1
hi. my name is zin. im pure win. i do girls. in thier pee pee place (or as i likes to call them, the thingy hole of erectness) so i turned 11 and now some owl flew into my room. it gave me a leter. i caught it on fire. fair trade off. it said im cool. almost pure win. and i can go to hogwarts. heres the letter for all of you peoples who dont belives
hi. ZIN
You are pure win. we loath your awsome powers of fire and erect piss holes. we need you in our skool so we can claime to be pure win academy. we will teach you stuff. like magik and powers of win. come to our skool. he has hot girls and you can do them. the headmaster, sir willim albrik winner-master pis-a-dong-ga-long duolboldor would like you to show him how you descovered how women actuial pee out of thier ass holes.
we dont actualy have any money to give you for books, but your pure win so you'll be fine.
-the register
Miss havnt-ever-been-laid-and-im-related-to-osama-bin-retarted.
See. so i bitch slapped a flower and it cried. so i took its lunch money and bought my pure win ass a ticket to the hogwarts express from some domb hindue in a donkey cab.
i borded the train with magik rocket jets who is piloted by a vampire shark who drinks martiniies with the anglo saxtions. he also claims he can piss the rainbow and has sex with a walrus and a apple. he keeps a lot of girls as his slave sluts in his door. they are glitched. its win.
so i sat next to this retard with a scar. he aid his name was harry. i then stabbed him with a spoon and check his puibs. he wasnt harry. he was bald. i then teabaged him and threw his lying ass out of the train. ownd
we got to this really cool looking castle when this biiiiiig man got on the train and asked for all 1st years. i watched him as he picked up all the girls and put them in the loli bag. i stabbed one in the leg and offered it to him as a sacrifice screaming "ZOMGFISH DEMANDS RETRIBUTION!" he was appeased.
on the way into this castle thingy, i saw a blonde hair kid walk up to me. he spit in my face and called me a freak. so to show the retartd how much of a freak i was, i then set his ass on fire and rode him up to the castle like a horse.
inside i walked ahead of all the kids...mostly cause half of them cried when i walked past them. we all stood in a awsome line infront of this old hat. when my name was called, i walked over and sat. the hat them screamed out, before even being picked up "HOT DIGGY DAMN! THIS KIDS PURE AWSOME IN A CAN OF WIN AND FIRE. HE NEEDS HIS OWN HOUSE. HOUSE...RAGING GRIFFIN PENIS OF BARBED WIRE COCK SYNDROM WITH A TWIST OF LIME AND GRAPE. IT SHALL BE HENSE FORTH BE KNOWN AS "GPBWCSWTLG!"
win.
so after i was put into my house, i then made a speace for duolboldor.
"everybody! im zin! im win! im now gonna masterbate in the forest of dark people and fuck some chicks in thier pee pee place. the head master then gave me 12 bootles of ever clear and the big dude handed me the bag of lolis. TO THE FOREST!
then the swirl came up to the batman sound.
i groaned and woke up in a bed. im not sure whos bed it was, but its mine now, unless the sick mother fucker wanted a bed covered in what i could only asume was my piss. my bitches had all left crying or drunk. all i could remember was me sticking my wang a dang in thier pee pee hole and doin jello shots to berry manalow. i walked out side and streached my hands under the now tee-pee'd building of hogwarts and screamed out "VIVA LA REVOLUTION!"
to be continued.