Clutching the slightly torn and very worn letter close to her chest, Alice sighs deeply, choking back a sob that dared to escape from her mouth. She places her small, delicate hand over her mouth to stifle the noise, as her parents are in the room opposite. She sits up, and carefully climbs out of her small single bed, instead choosing to sit cross legged on the floor, the letter laying across her knees. Alice brushes the back of her hand on her cheek in order to stop her salty tears marking the letter. The young girl whispers the words of the letter into the darkness, almost seeing them in the steam that her whispering makes because of the cold.
My darlin Alice,
I am so very sorry that I cannot be with you today - on any other day, too, of course. I miss you every night, every day, I miss you with every breath I take. Sometimes I wish I would cease drawing breath just so the constant, heavy ache in my heart would stop, too. Because with every beat my heart thuds, it simply amplifies my sadness and grief. I carry this sadness around with me all day, darling, because you are not here. In actuality, it is because I am not where you are, where I wish to be - home.
Army life is not so bad. The letters that you send to me are in my trench, folded into my old coat. I hate the depressing feelings that surround me. I miss your sunshine. I miss the light you brought into my life.
They say the war will be over soon, and maybe it will. I for one, hope so. I do not seem to enjoy the killing like the other gentlemen - if that's what you wish to call them. I simply think of your wide eyed expression, the one that reminds me of a deer in the headlights constantly, because you're so innocent, so endearing and that shames me so. I can't kill. I only want to do one thing, and that is see your face, kiss your lips, run my hands through your hair.
I will be home soon, my love, I'll be home soon. I love you.
Yours forever,
Jasper
"I miss you so much, Jasper," Alice whispers, blinking back hot tears ready to spill. "I just want you to come home." Shaking her head and scraping her hair back into a messy bun, the teenager scrunches up into a ball and falls asleep, her heavy sighs lasting well into the night.
A hot Texas afternoon left Alice sighing even more deeply, so she sits at the table and pens a letter to Jasper, that she could send in the morning.
To my dearest, my one and only,
Jasper. I do not know where to begin. Maybe with I love you? You ended with I love you, so I will begin with it. We are, after all, polar opposites to one another. Opposites attract though, my lovely! I hope you're okay. As okay as you can be, of course. I'm...okay. As okay as I can be! Without. You. I mean. So you can sleep okay knowing I'm safe.
I'm holding on for moments like that and I know that they're coming back. Sooner or later!
I hope sooner, personally. I never know what to write to you. I have so much to say, but it is simply too unimportant, too trivial to put in such an important letter to you. The letter that keeps me going.
As I said, you'll be home soon. I'll talk to you then.
For now, my little soldier, keep your head up.
I will always love you,
Alice
Alice closes the envelope and kisses the middle, leaving a pale pink imprint of her lips, and smiles sadly, biting her lip. "I wish you were home," she says, to no one. She feels in her heart he is missing her, too. She doesn't need a letter to tell her that! The thought of Jasper missing her both made her heart ache and made her lips twitch into a half smile.
And as Alice clutches that oh so familiar letter to her chest for not the first time, almost thinking Jasper can hear her heart beating from those battle grounds, Alice realizes that even though Jasper cannot be with her physically, he is always with her - she carries him around in her heart, she whispers his name as she breaths, she dreams about him when she's sleeping, her face finally relaxing into a serene smile like it should be, like it was before.
He's been here all along...
A/N: Well, I hope you liked this, as it was nice to write! I liked it. I know, I know, Alice wouldn't have been in the same time period, but in this she is. They're human.
If you don't know the song, it's Been Here All Along from Hannah Montana, and it's a lovely song! So listen to it for me! Would you read a Christmassy one shot of mine? :)
Review...if you wanna. :)