On A Heartbeat, a gintama fanfic

~On A Heartbeat, Everything Changes and the Ones You Always Considered Trash Are the Ones That Matter the Most~

A Gintama one-shot, rated K+

GintokixSarutobi

By Bekas Strife

"All is well when it ends well, it seems."

Gintoki hummed at Shinpachi's words and closed his eyes, turning and waving carelessly over his shoulder as both he and the rest of the Yorozuya bid farewell to their latest client: a mother who had lost her child in their first trip to Edo and who had wormed her way into Gin's secretly soft heart and managed to make him agree to find the child for her. The child was found unharmed at the Shinsegumi's headquarters and was promptly returned to his parent. "Parents these days are way too irresponsible." The silver haired man yawned, stretching his arms above his head lazily before dropping them to his sides, taking a deep breath as he lifted a strong hand to scratch at his chest. Lately he had been feeling tired, too tired for comfort.

Maybe Kagura's constant muttering during the night was finally affecting his sleep. After all, her closet was right by his room's door.

"Don't be mean, you lazy geezer!" Kagura pouted, crossing her slender arms over her chest, bending over to glare up at the silver haired swordsman. "You would make a way worse parent that she is, with your drinking habits and lazy, useless attitude."

Gin sighed, reaching to slap the girl's head away. "Like you would be any better, you Yato shrimp."

"Ne, ne…" Shinpachi chuckled nervously, trying to calm the two down before they got hurt. "Let's not fight now, shall we? We were paid and it's getting late so it's better if we go home."

"Ahh, I guess you're right." Gintoki grumbled, ruffling his unruly hair. "Remember that tomorrow we were requested to be at a construction site near the Kabuki-cho district. Don't go slacking off or you won't get paid."

"As if you pay us, anyway…" Kagura muttered, yelping as the older samurai bopped her head again, this time harder.

Bickering a bit more, the three parted ways, Shinpachi making his way towards his and his sister's dojo and both Gintoki and Kagura making their way to the small apartment they shared - "My apartment! She just freeloads! FREELOADS!" Gintoki would commonly complain - , exchanging only a couple of words whenever they saw something that caught their eye. The day had been truly tiring and all the two wanted to do once they got home was sleep, never minding the place where they'd crash.

Walking upstairs, Gintoki took a deep breath, rubbing his chest as he opened the door and let Kagura in before closing it, absentmindedly ruffling the top of Sadaharu's head when the dog came running, ignoring the way his hand was chomped right away. Nothing he wasn't used to, nowadays. Besides, his mind was focused on another matter.

"I must be getting old…" Gin muttered, rubbing his shoulder as he shook off his boots at the entrance. Just climbing the stairs had him breathless.

"You are old." Kagura retorted bluntly, grinning as she ducked to avoid the hit she knew it would come and running away, jumping into her closet and slamming the door shut.

"Brat." Gintoki spat, a fond tone to his voice in contrast to the ugly frown on his lips. He wasn't getting old… Was he? Huffing, he slipped his boots back on and shouted an 'I'll be right back!' at Kagura before leaving and shutting the door soundly behind him.

He needed a drink.

Getting inside silently - his drunken mind focused enough that he knew that Kagura would be sleeping - Gintoki stumbled forward, tripping on the small step by the front door. "Stupid step, always gettin' closer an' closer ta the door…" The man grumbled drunkenly as he pulled his boots off and left them somewhere in the entrance. Idly closing the door, he made his way to his bedroom, tripping on Sadaharu on the way.

Someday he'd freaking leave the dog on the other side of town, the swordsman silently swore as he gritted his teeth and rubbed his big toe after he fell onto his futon. Thankfully, deep down, he knew he didn't mean it.

Stripping and getting into his pajamas, Gintoki laid down, staring at the ceiling for a moment: there went a month's rent, all on sake. He had just gone outside for a single drink and, as he became more and more intoxicated, depressing thoughts of how old he was getting and how everyone around him seemed to change pressing him to drink more and more until Otose-san shooed him away, wanting to close the bar. Hell, even Zura - the 'Hey, isn't Elizabeth just cute?!' Zura - had somewhat settled down with the owner of a random ramen shop where he worked at to get money for the Joi faction. It both made Gintoki happy for his friend and depressed at how pitiful his thoughts where making him.

What did he have? A dog who chews people's skulls for the laughs, a freakily strong Yato chick living in his closet and a four eyes nobody who constantly scolded him for the smallest things. As if the slice of chocolate cake in the back of his fridge would harm anyone. It was only a month old and what if it blinked back at people?! It was still edible.

Sighing, Gintoki pulled the blanket over his body and turned on his side, resting his head on his bended arm. He knew he was being foolish - childish even, which made him slightly happier because it was a sign that he had NOT matured - and that he shouldn't complain: Kagura, Sadaharu and Shinpachi were his family, per say, and he wouldn't trade them for the world.

Taking a deep breath, the silver haired man closed his eyes, deciding that sleep would be a good way out of his thoughts. Soon, sleep claimed him and Gintoki fell into the land of dreams.

Air.

There was an insanely need to breathe but it seemed as if there wasn't enough air to fill his lungs and ease the uneasy feeling in Gintoki's chest. Letting in a shuddering breath, Gin snapped awake, gasping and wheezing as he clutched at his shirt and sat gingerly. He could vaguely register voices in the living room and the swordsman knew it had to be Kagura and Shinpachi getting ready for their day at the construction site but he couldn't will his body to move. It was as if he had run around during the entire night and had woken up just as he had settled down. He was more tired than in the day before and it made the man frown.

Turning his head as the door to his room slid open, Gintoki looked up at Shinpachi, having sighed at the look on his face if it wasn't for his still breathless behavior. He was getting a scolding in three… two… one...

"Gin-san!! You should be ready already!! We're going to be late for work!" The young man freaked suddenly.

"Knew this would happen." Kagura huffed, leaning forward to wave a finger under Gin's nose. "The moment you went out, I just knew you'd get drunk and then the headache of a lifetime! Then we'd do all the work! Ugh, just what will this mother do with you?! You're the child no-one wants!!"

"Kagura-chan, no need to be like that either… We still can make it if we speed… And if Gin-san is quick to get ready."

"I'm not going today."

Shinpachi blinked, looking down at the older samurai as he got up, wobbling a bit. "What?"

"I'm not going." Gintoki repeated, rubbing his chest. "You guys go and get your money. I'll just stay home for today… I'm not feeling alright."

"Now, those are just excuses!" Kagura whined with a frown. "You went out and got drunk and now WE have to do everything because you have a headache?!" Growling when she didn't get an answer, the girl grabbed Shinpachi's arm and dragged him away. "Come on, Shinpachi, Sadaharu!"

Gintoki couldn't help but wince as the front door was slammed shut. Not that he could blame the girl - she loved slacking off as much as he did and now she'd have to work twice as hard - but he really didn't feel like he should be working today. Rubbing his neck, the swordsman made his way to the kitchen, checking the rice cooker for breakfast and sighing as the kids had been nice enough to leave him some. Deciding he still hasn't all that hungry, Gintoki made his way to the living room, flopping down on the couch. At least he was feeling better. Maybe he could still join the rest of his team at the construction site.

Eyebrow twitching at a small sound coming from his desk, Gintoki turned on the couch and felt a growl rise on his throat at the sight of strands of lavender colored hair. "How come you always find a way into my apartment?!" He snapped, listening as the owner of the hair yelped, hit her head on the desk and fell off the drawer onto the floor. "I kicked you out yesterday morning and here you are again!"

Sarutobi Ayame jumped to her feet, fidgeting at the angry tone in her crush's voice and at the way his eyes flashed. It made her tingle and feel funny in all the right places. "Don't be like that, Gin-san…" She whined, rubbing her reddened cheeks. "I was just… passing by before I thought of making you a visit and say 'good morning' and 'have a nice day' and 'what would you want for dinner' or 'what would you want for dessert, me, me or me?' before you went out to work--"

"Don't go acting as if you're my wife already! I'd rather marry a pig girl who ate pickles at night without brushing his teeth after and preferred sex first thing in the morning!"

"I can still eat--"

"Shut up!" Gintoki yelled, throwing a Jump at the woman and watching it nail her in the forehead. Groaning, he got up, rubbing his face. "Why do you always follow me around? Don't you have a freaking life?"

"You're my life." Sarutobi purred, gingerly touching the lump on her forehead as she slinked towards Gintoki, hooking a finger around one of his curls and feeling how soft it was.

"Typical stalker retort. Besides, I already have Jump, chocolate parfaits and strawberry milk; I don't need ya." Gin grunted, batting the hand away before reaching and gripping Sa-chan's arms tightly. "I want you to stop this. I'm sick of seeing you everywhere from my toilet to my underwear's drawer! I can't even take a piss without having you cooing at me!"

The ninja hummed at the tight grip on her limbs, face turning red at the closeness between them. "You're making me uncomfortable, Gin-san…" She lied, turning her face away from the swordsman's before yelping as she was shoved away towards the front door, stumbling. "W-What?"

"Out. I want you out, out, out!" Gintoki exclaimed, throwing his arms into the air as he stalked towards the woman. "I can only take so much and two freeloaders are not something on my 'to have' list!! The food vacuum is enough, I don't need a masoquist in my futon!"

Sarutobi squeaked as Gintoki slammed the door opened and picked her up, throwing her over the balcony onto the street. "B-but Gin-san…!"

"And stay in there!!" The silver haired man violently shook at fist at the stalker, slamming the door shut after he entered the apartment. Panting roughly, Gintoki made his way back to the couch, gripping it as he fought to steady his breathing. He had done nothing more than screaming and lifting a small chick!! "Age is like rotten strawberry milk… On the outside, it may look so good but in reality, it sucks." He panted, wincing as he coughed and felt something weird in his mouth. "Eww. I don't remembering eating this." He whispered, disgusted at the flavor.

Straightening to go to the kitchen in order to drink something to remove the ill flavor in his mouth, the samurai swayed, stumbling towards the wall. "…Don't tell me I'm pregnant. I'll have to make Kagura take responsibility when she gets in here. Knew she was weird…" He snorted weakly, fumbling with the door knock to the kitchen's door. Looking down after a moment, he blinked, noticing he had actually been trying to open the door by fumbling with the light switch. 'What's wrong with me…?'

Finally entering the kitchen, Gintoki laid a hand on the fridge, attempting to steady himself. The world was spinning before his eyes and his vision was filling with black spots. Black spots were never good, they usually meant that you were seeing something bad that shouldn't be in your food or that you were losing consciousness. Either way, Gintoki couldn't help as he fell on his knees, flopping on his side as his ears buzzed noisily.

Suddenly, glasses and lavender hair invaded his sight before all he could see was black and the buzzing ceased, taking his consciousness with him…

It hurt to breathe.

Pain was usually the first thing his brain registered and it was never good. Frowning slightly at the sounds from his surroundings - a constant, annoying beeping, many distant voices and the rough, painful to the ears, sound of breathing - Gintoki cracked his eyes open, blinking them to clear them from the blurriness preventing him from seeing. As they became more and more focused, the samurai noticed that the harsh breathing was coming from him as he struggled to breathe. "What…" He rasped, dragging his eyes from the mask on his face and looking around. He was in a small room with light blue walls and a large window besides a wooden door. Gintoki groaned weakly as he saw nurses and doctors walking outside.

Moving his crimson eyes to the side at a sign of movement, Gin's brow furrowed, watching a head full of lavender hair lift from his side to allow a pair of grey eyes to look sleepily into his. The man jerked back as the woman jumped with a squeak before chocking at the feel of slender arms wrapped around his neck tightly. "You're awake…" Sa-chan breathed into Gintoki's hair, relieved to see him well.

"You're… stranglin' me… Damn stalker…" Gintoki rasped, struggling even harder to breathe.

"… Oh. Sorry." The stalker muttered, pulling back and adjusting her glasses embarrassedly.

"Why… Am I here?"

Sarutobi shifted. "I… went back after you expelled me from your place." She stammered, feeling her cheeks heat up at the annoyed look she got. "I have been stalking you for so long that I found the fact that you were constantly breathless after any effort very, very strange. I was just going to check on you when I watched you fall and lose consciousness. I called an ambulance when I noticed you couldn't breathe well and… Well, here you are."

"What do I… have?" Gintoki asked, a vein popping up on his temple at how weak and utterly pathetic his voice sounded.

"The doctors said it has to do with your heart but they said they wouldn't tell me more until your family came over…"

"A… And…?" Sarutobi shifted uncomfortably, which was a new reaction to her at Gintoki's eyes. Normally, she'd fidget and stammer but it was cos she was - ahem - way too… thrilled to be around him. She never got uncomfortable as she was now. "S… Sarutobi…?"

The ninja looked up at the mention of his name leaving his lips. Never had she heard him call her by her name. The only names she heard were masoquist, stalker, useless scum, bitch, and so on. "After the doctors told me I had to find your family, I sprinted to where they were working; I knew that they'd never really listen to what I'd say over the phone due to my… nature observation habits." She flushed, clearing her throat. "Yeah. Anyway, I went there and tried to speak with them but they didn't believe in me when I told them you were in the hospital with some sort of heart decease… They must see you as an untouchable god since they kicked me out of there after thinking all I was saying was just a trap you had set up for them to make sure they forgave you for skipping work, knowing I'd do anything for you and all..." She trailed off, seeing a flicker of something in the silver haired man's eyes at her speech. "I did leave a note with the hospital's number and your room on the door, though… So they must be almost here. They just have to realize you're nowhere to be found." Sarutobi murmured.

Gintoki nodded once, looking down. He wasn't one to get all upset and be overly emotional over things but with what the stalker had said, he couldn't help but notice that he had only managed to push those he loved away with all his pranks and lies. Getting people used to his annoying quirks made them unable to believe in him when they should. Though, there was probably one person that'd believe in what was happening. "O… Otose… The old hag… Beneath my apartment…"

Sarutobi quickly nodded. "I thought of her as well but she wasn't home. I left her a note like Kagura's and Shinpachi's on the bar's counter."

The samurai nodded back slowly. He looked down before turning his eyes back at the lavender haired girl, eyeing her with his usually bored stare. He had never given her much thought, his image of her ruined by how she had lied to get his help in the very beginning of their so-called bond. Wouldn't it have been easier to ask for help rather than trying to trick him into believing they had sex? "Hey… you, stalker." He breathed. The corners of his lips turned upwards slightly as Sarutobi looked at him. "Thanks… For the help."

The woman brightened visibly. "My, my Gin-san… You're very welcome." She cooed, resting her head on a hand and reaching with the other to brush a finger up the other's arm. "You owe me one." Sa-chan smiled naughtily. "What about you pay me with one date when you leave?"

"Don't… go pushing… your luck. I already… thanked you. Be thankful."

Sa-chan pouted and rested her elbows on the bed, watching Gintoki as he turned his head to face forward. He looked so pained… Weak even, as he lay on that hospital bed, wheezing. It made her heart twist at the sight, as she was used to see him standing tall and proud, strong as if nothing would ever shake him. Maybe that was why the kids had shook their heads and stomped their feet when she told them that their precious Gin-san was sick. The samurai had become, not totally a role model, because the silver haired man had more flaws than qualities, but a big brother figure for both Shinpachi and Kagura. To know that someone they cared so much about, that had overcome so many odds and remained untouched, was in a hospital bed with a heart decease would sound like a joke to many at first. Even so, despite being a joke or not, anyone would confirm it to check if the lie was really a lie. It wouldn't be long before the young duo burst into the room, yelling 'Gin-san! Gin-san!' before bursting into hysterics about how his reckless lifestyle had come back and kicked him in the ass. "… You should be more careful."

Gintoki dragged his eyes towards the ninja. "… What…?"

"Those kids have you on a pedestal, Gin, and you don't care about yourself." Sarutobi said frankly, suddenly feeling too serious to relish on the way the object of her affection had focused on her, his usually dead crimson eyes lightened with surprise. "I stalk you, yeah, but mostly because I care about you. I wanted to know you, see you in your natural habitat without the pressure of being next to someone… I know your habits. You go out late, you gamble, you drink until you nearly reach oblivion and when you don't have work, you don't even step out of your apartment, choosing instead to spend the day in your couch, simply staring at the ceiling. It isn't healthy and I'm mad at myself for being surprised when you passed out in front of me. I should have predicted you'd self-destruct some time soon."

"… Saru… tobi…" Gin uttered.

"There are people that care about you and you have to think of them. Stop being selfish and self-centered. You're way too old for that, anyway." Sa-chan shook her head, grumbling as she gave the man on the bed an annoyed look.

"… You know…" Gintoki breathed after a small moment of relative silence. "What made me drink… yesterday, was… a joke about my age. I'll make sure… to make you… take responsibility… if I come back here… in a near future." He struggled to say but smirked. It was definitely hard to speak while attempting not to pass out from the lack of oxygen.

"Yeah… Now go and blame everything on me." Sarutobi rolled her eyes before letting out a perverted giggle. "Be mad, very mad… and take it out on me. All of it." She licked her lips as her face heated up, making her giggle again.

"You… masoquist stalker…" Gintoki grunted before giving the woman a fond look. "… Don't ever… change." He said almost warmly, quietly.

Sarutobi blinked, stunned as her stomach did a somersault. Opening her mouth to reply, she didn't get to say what she wanted, instead being interrupted by the door slamming open. "Gin-chan!" Kagura exclaimed, panting as Shinpachi soon skidded to a halt behind her. "Gin-chan, you idiot!" She yelled, shaking a fist at the man before her bottom lip quivered. "You… You… Idiot…" The Yato girl whimpered, running to the bed and jumping onto her roommate, clutching his hospital gown.

Gintoki couldn't help a painful fit of coughing as the girl's weight fell fully onto his chest. "K-Kagura!" He wheezed between coughs. "I-I can't… breathe! Gin-san can't… freaking breathe!"

Getting up from the chair by the samurai's bed, Sa-chan silently moved away, watching as Shinpachi went to Gintoki's aid before starting a very long rant about how Gintoki would end up dead in a random sideway someday if he wasn't careful.

"You."

Sarutobi hastily turned, finding Otose by the doorway, disposing of her cigarette. "Otose-san…"

"You wrote the note, didn't you? And brought this idiot here?"

"… Yeah… Sorry for having broken into your bar and all…"

Otose shook her head, leaning against the doorway and eyeing Gintoki and the teenagers on the bed. "… Doctor said the left side of his heart failed. Something about his ventricle causing a congestion of the pulmonary vasculature. Hence why he's breathless." The woman sighed, hand reaching to grab her pack of cigarettes before she remembered she couldn't smoke in a hospital. "Know why it happened?" Sarutobi shook her head slowly. "He drinks too much, which made his heart unable to pump his blood efficiently. Even his heart is useless, that's how bad that idiot is." The old woman scoffed. "Stupid kid."

"… I believe he learnt his lesson." Sa-chan murmured after a moment, watching with a soft gaze as Gintoki rested a hand on Kagura's head, trying to sooth her tears as he listened with a wince but with also a fond smile as Shinpachi kept ranting, the teen's face looking about to burst with the effort of spewing dozens of words in a less than half a minute.

"Doubt it." Otose snorted. "… I have a favor to ask you."

Sarutobi blinked, taken back. "Err… Sure… What is it?"

"Keep stalking him. He's like a rebellious boy: we let him out of our sight for a moment and he goes and gets his knees scratched."

The ninja blinked once more, looking into the room again and feeling a warm feeling spread across her chest as Gintoki locked eyes with her for a moment. Smiling when Shinpachi got the samurai's attention back with a swift slap to the head and a shouted 'Are you even listening to me?!', Sa-chan turned to leave. "I'll do my best."

Looking down at the trio in the bed, Sa-chan looked around in hopes no-one would find her. The moon was high in the sky and visiting hours had ended many hours before: if she was found, hell would break lose.

Turning her gaze back to the bed, the ninja took in the sight of the Yato girl curled up to Gintoki's side, promptly drooling his gown on the place her head was resting. Shinpachi was there too, although he was sat on the chair, peacefully asleep on his slumped position over the bed. Many others had passed by the hospital on that afternoon, some being Otae - who brought a funny looking black mass with her to which she delicately, and with a smile on her face, called 'muffin' -, Katsura and a funny looking penguin and some random madao Gin knew. All of them had left after visiting hours but the nurses had let the kids stay with Gintoki, knowing they'd just break back in anyway.

Reaching, Sarutobi carefully ran two fingers down Gintoki's hair, feeling the soft curls hook around and caress her fingers gently. His breathing was still labored but - as she had overheard - it was nothing a few weeks in the hospital under intense care wouldn't fix. Replaying their talk in her head, the ninja couldn't help a soft smile from rising to her lips: Gintoki had clearly learnt his lesson, as she could see from the way his right arm was securely hooked around Kagura's upper body and his left hand was resting at the base of Shinpachi's nape. "… 'Bout time you started acting like an older brother…" The ninja whispered quietly, brushing Gin's fringe out of the way gently before leaning down, pressing a soft kiss onto his forehead, careful not to wake the samurai up.

Turning and walking to the window, the woman smiled as she climbed it. The moon was oddly bright, she mused. "See you in the usual drawer when you get back." She murmured softly to the wind, leaping off the window with feline grace.

Gintoki scoffed from his place on the bed but uttered a single word fondly.

"Stalker…"

- End -

I haven't written anything Gintama-related in AGES so whenever I re-read this, it totally doesn't feel like Gintama. I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT!! -Goes to commit seppuku-

Besides, it doesn't help that the story is kinda depressing… Originally, my thought was to write something along the lines of 'Gintoki is such a slacker and a sort of madao that no-one believes in him when he most needs and then he dies alone with only the presence of someone to who he never gave the right amount of respect. Or respect at all.'

It totally didn't work that way. Boo.

Though, I did want to reverse the tables a bit: Gintoki is always the one 'scolding' and doing the talk that changes people's views and/or wakes them up to reality. It's easy to say all those things to others while overlooking his flaws so… I tried to exchange roles and put Sa-chan on his place. I doubt I managed it. Oh well. ;_;

Anyway, this was my first try at GinxSarutobi so… be patient with me. Feedback would be really appreciated!!