"Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock, jingle bell-"
"Barney, I swear to all things alcoholic that if you don't shut up right now then I'm going to come over there and shove this entire turkey down your throat."
"Well my dear, if we're discussing shoving things down people's throats, I know of something that's a whole lot more exciting than a bird." He called through from the front room, although he did turn the music down just a smidgen, refraining from singing along for almost a whole minute.
After a moment's deliberation, she decided to ignore him.
A sigh of relief escaped Robin's lips as she wrestled with the gigantic bird a little longer. It had taken almost two hours to prepare properly, and the brunette had just about had enough of the stupid thing. Normally, she wouldn't bother with the entire "oh my god christmas!1!" thing, but this was the last Christmas she'd have with just Barney, so she had decided to make the most of it.
Despite the prominent bulge in her stomach that indicated pregnancy, Robin was the only who'd done the cooking this year. Yes, Barney loved Christmas, but managed to dibs all the good jobs, such as decorating the tree and making a gingerbread fortress (which now stood proudly in the corner at the absurd height of four and a half feet), whilst she got stuck with preparing almost the entire midday meal.
"Barney?" She called through, trying to fight against the music, "Can you come put this in the oven for me?"
"You mean the baby or the turkey? I think we already did one of them. Probably the turkey."
A few seconds passed, but Robin couldn't sense any movement.
"Oi, idiot!"
"I'm coming, I'm coming, Jesus Christ!"
"No, wrong response. That was for the baby."
A blond tuft of hair appeared around the edge of the doorframe, glitter was matted on the side of his face and a small piece of wrapping paper sat on the top of his forehead, apparently stuck by sheer will power.
"Do you want to do it now?"
She gave him a look.
"Oh, no, I want you to do it in half an hour, but I just wanted to make you stand there so I could watch your stupid glittered face for a bit of entertainment."
"Ah," He looked a little confused, but Robin knew that was feigned. "Alright."
With a slight intake of breath, Barney struck a pose, angling his chin so that he looked slightly regal. Through tight lips, he managed to sneak out:
"Did you get my good angle?"
She merely snorted, muttering "What good angle?" before turning back to the turkey, deciding that if that moron was planning on just standing there, she could manage it herself. However, a few seconds later, she felt Barney gently lifting the tray from her hands and heaving it into the oven himself, manoeuvring it carefully so that it didn't hit the top, and yet would still cook well.
"That's right, cram it in." She smirked, pulling him in for a kiss when he straightened up, the glitter - upon closer inspection - having worked its way into his hair. They'd both been up at the crack of dawn trying to prepare for this, and god damn was it going to be perfect. It had to be.
"I'm an expert at getting big things into tight spaces." He murmured back, gently stroking her stomach, effectively linking the two ideas. As he bent down to place his lips on the mini hill, he whispered a few words.
"You're going to be the most awesome person this planet has ever seen."
Just as he stood upright again, she pulled him in tightly, ignoring the awkward gap between that hadn't been there months previously. The baby bump has limited so many things, but she didn't mind. Despite her terror, she was still excited for the baby's arrival.
"And you're gonna be a legendary Mom." He added, the smile on his face so goofy and genuine that it made her heart ache.
"You're an idiot." She mumbled, resting her head on his shoulder, allowing a small smile to creep across her face.
"I know."