Wrote this as a fill for a kinkmeme prompt, which can be found here: avengerkink . livejournal 15292 . html ? thread=34000572#t34000572 (*Fixed the link, just take out the spaces.)
The second chapter is where the bulk of the fill is though, and it's almost done so you won't have to wait too long.
However, I hope you readers enjoy this part, which is basically setting up the circumstances for a lot of stuff that happens in the second chapter. Please enjoy and tell me what you think!
"Thor?" Loki entered his brother's room quietly, making sure none of the servants were around. He couldn't afford to be careless, not now.
Luckily they were alone.
Thor glanced up with a soft smile, immediately moving to embrace his brother. "Loki, what brings you here?"
Loki stepped away from the embrace. Thor frowned. "I… we need to talk," he murmured, gesturing for the other to sit down. He did.
"What's wrong?"
The trickster remained standing, turning slightly to start pacing. "We've made a mistake, Thor."
Thor sighed heavily and ran a hand over his face. "Loki, we've been through this before. Whatever's between us is not a mistake… you enjoy our time together, don't you?"
Loki turned and glared at his brother. "No you idiot, everything we've done together has been a mistake. We were fools," he managed to snarl out.
"What makes you think this?" Thor glanced up, not rising to the bait.
"Logic," Loki snapped, "reality. We knew our …relationship was wrong but we went ahead anyway and now we're going to pay the price."
Thor stood up, reaching out to clap a hand on Loki's shoulder in an attempt to stop the sudden pacing the raven haired god had taken up. "What do you mean? Has Father found out?"
Loki stilled and took a deep breath. "No, not yet." He narrowed his eyes as Thor seemed to relax some. "But he will soon enough. I'm with child."
That was enough to make Thor pause, seemingly speechless. The words had to sink in. And once he realized the gravity of the situation he brought his gaze back to his brother, finding that he had started crying as he knew what Thor was thinking. "I'm… sorry, Loki." It was all he could offer. They'd made a mistake, more than a few mistakes really, and now they were going to pay the price.
A child was not good. A child would be taken from them as soon as it was born, taken by Odin to Gods know where and they would never see it again. Thor knew Loki would not handle losing another child well.
"You should be sorry. This is your damn fault you stupid oaf, your damn fault that I now have to carry your child only to have it ripped away from me once again." Loki's teary ramblings ripped into his thoughts, and Thor realized that his brother had just barely been holding it together the whole time.
"I'm sorry," the god repeated once more, "I'm sorry, but it will be alright. I promise." He let Loki fall into his arms, holding his brother close as he started to sob. More than anything Thor wished he could keep his promise.
Loki scowled as he paced the floor of the base on Midgard. Thanos was impatient, as he was. He didn't have time to waste.
But humans were fickle creatures, breakable, laughably fragile. The species as a whole was only good as a work force, but a slow moving one at that.
Human beings sickened him.
Again, he turned to check on the progress that the scientist was making with the Tesserect. He was thrumming with energy, listening closely as Selvig rambled on about the power that was in their hands. As if Loki didn't know.
His attention turned to the SHIELD agent, the first one he'd found. "And what did the Tesserect show you Agent Barton?"
"My next target."
The man was confident, a good warrior for his race. To Loki there seemed to be something more to the human, a certain quality he couldn't quite place. But he knew the archer had heart, he'd seen it, chosen him for it. It was intriguing though, that the man used a bow as his weapon of choice.
Loki didn't have time to dwell on it though; he had a world to rule.
Odin had been furious. More than furious, really. He'd screamed at them, Loki had never seen him lose his temper like that before. He'd expected to get hit. Thor had been instead.
They were royalty, the sons of the All-Father. This shouldn't have happened.
The child was an abomination. One that shouldn't be anywhere on Asgard, much less near the palace.
Loki had broken down and begged his father for mercy, Thor had done the same. He was sure that's the reason why Odin had allowed them to keep the child under strict circumstances. Maybe their mother had something to do with it as well.
But whatever the reason Loki had never been more relieved and terrified at the same time.
Odin had agreed that the child would stay so long as no one knew that Thor was the father. And just in case, the child should pose no threat as an heir to the throne. As long as his child was a girl, she would be safe. A boy, and Loki would lose him.
It was a difficult thought.
So he chose to busy himself with other thoughts, choosing to lose himself in books and spells. Though now that he was nearing his third trimester his spells took much more energy than he would've liked. So instead he busied himself with studying; learning was never a futile effort for him.
That's how he found himself lounging in a chair as best as he could with his swollen stomach, nose stuck in a spellbook.
Normally, he would have noticed his brother's presence the moment he was around, but at the time he was tired and distracted and didn't know Thor was there until two strong hands started massaging his shoulders.
Loki merely sighed and tilted his head back, knowing they wouldn't be disturbed. "That feels good," he mused.
"Good." Thor continued his motions for a little longer, letting Loki relax under his touch before he let out a small sigh and made his way around the chair to be face to face with his brother. "How are you?" he asked idly.
Loki paused and set his book aside, staring at Thor for a long moment. "I'm swollen and exhausted and the damn thing won't stop kicking me. But in all I'd have to say I'm doing quite well."
Thor chuckled softly and reached out to brush his hand over Loki's cheek. "I'm sure the child appreciates your trials."
Loki rolled his eyes, but in a good natured way. "Yes well, she better. I'm not too keen on putting up with being kicked in the ribs for much longer."
Thor gave him an odd look and it took Loki a second to realize his slip up.
"Oh… I-I it's easier, to say that." He shrugged slightly, not willing to delve into the detail of why he preferred to think of his child as his daughter.
Thor just nodded, as if he understood. He probably did. They descended into a thick silence until Loki huffed and placed a hand on his stomach.
"Stop that," he chastised quietly, before glancing up at his brother. "I think it knows its father is near, it's more active than before."
Another smile flickered onto Thor's face and he lifted his hand, before hesitating. "May I?" he asked quietly.
"Of course." Loki nodded and reached out to take Thor's hand, guiding it to the spot where the child's movements were most prominent.
A sudden kick made Loki wince and Thor's eyes widened before he let out a quiet laugh. "That is indeed my child, no?"
Loki huffed a laugh and nodded slightly. "Yes, I suppose so."
Thor's hand stayed on his stomach for a while before he slowly pulled back and offered a hand to Loki. "Come, would you like to join me for some dinner?"
"Very much yes, I'm afraid this child causes me to eat almost as much as you now." Loki took the offered hand and struggled to stand up. Thor hid a laugh at his brother's poor attempt and pulled him up. "Not a word." Loki glared at him.
"Of course not." Thor humored him, but there was still a twinkle in his eye.
Loki glared at Thor as the muzzle was fitted over his face. His 'lies' may be hindered but his cold gaze stayed strong.
"I'm sorry," Thor murmured as he moved to fix the chains. And he was. He'd failed his brother. Their fragile relationship had started to fail long ago, after the loss of someone very special. In truth he'd always hoped that there had been some thread keeping them together. But as it turned out that had been lost as well.
And now Loki would only glare at him. He would spit poison and hatred developed over decades of lies. But Thor wouldn't hesitate to forgive him. Even though he threatened the human race, a race that held something precious to the both of them.
Loki wasn't asking for forgiveness though. He was mad, Thor wasn't too blind that he couldn't see that. He'd lost his brother and Thor wasn't sure how to get him back.
He could bring him home though, and hope that he would be able to find a way to let Loki know that he hadn't given up on him. And he never would.
Loki smiled as he watched Thor and a few other warriors out on the field. Normally Thor wasn't too keen on letting his brother near the practice fields in his current condition, but he tended to brush off the other's concerns. He still had two full cycles to go before the child was due, so Loki was still able to wander about freely without the worry of labor.
Today he was content to just sit and watch his brother as the warrior he was. Of course, there were stares. He was a prince, royalty, and he was pregnant with an unknown warrior's child. But one glare from Thor was all it took for the stares to wither.
While no one knew that Thor was the father, they were aware that if they insulted Loki they would have to deal with his brother.
Loki grinned as Thor glanced over at him, sending him a small wave. If he tried hard enough Loki could pretend that he didn't have to hide the even broader smile at that. That he could see Thor and not hide his affection.
But now they were just brothers, and that was all they ever could be.
His train of thought was suddenly derailed by a sharp pain in his abdomen. Loki gasped in sudden surprise, gaining curious looks from a few servants milling about. He snarled at them.
There was another sharp pain and this time Loki stood up abruptly (or as quickly as he could in his condition), waving away the help. He quickly turned and headed back towards the palace, unaware that Thor had stopped his training to watch him leave with worry.
He had bigger problems. He knew what the pains meant. But it was too early, the child wasn't supposed to come yet. He wasn't supposed to be faced with this fear yet.
Apparently his child had a different opinion. It was moving about in his womb, causing the god to absently place a hand on his stomach in an attempt to quell the sudden burst of energy the child seemed to gain.
It was of no use. Loki bit his lip as the pain suddenly increased, causing him to stumble slightly in shock and fear.
His legs were shaking and his breath was short. Loki was terrified.
The one good thing he figured could come from this was that Odin was busy with entertaining a few guests. If his labor continued at this sudden pace he might just be able to hide the child from his father's wrath. Might being the key word.
A small cry was jerked from his throat as he wavered on his feet. The pain was already almost unbearable.
"Loki." Thor was suddenly there, wrapping his arms around his brother in an attempt to keep him upright. "Loki, what's wrong? Is it the child?"
Loki just scowled and nodded, trying to push Thor away. "Leave me be, I'll… I just need to get to my room."
But Thor was no fool. He kept an arm around Loki and beckoned for a servant. "Go get a healer and my mother, send them to my brother's room," he ordered quickly, before hurrying Loki to his chambers.
Once Loki was able to lie back on his bed he whimpered softly and gripped tightly at the sheets, the pain doubling. "Thor… leave," he suddenly choked out, not wanting his brother to see him like this.
Thor shook his head, moving closer to pull Loki's hand into his. "No, I don't want you to be alone."
Loki was about to respond but another cry was ripped from his lips. No, no, no. It was too early. His child wasn't ready, this shouldn't be happening, not now.
Thor's hand brushed over his forehead, finding that his brother was already drenched in sweat. He was terrified for his little brother, fully aware that he was in such pain because of him. The normally calm and collected raven haired god was writhing in pain on his bed, tears already starting to fall down his cheeks.
Luckily a healer rushed in then, with their mother in tow.
"Loki." Frigga rushed to her son's other side, leaning down to press her lips to his forehead. "Do you know what's wrong? Why are you in such pain?"
Loki just shook his head and groaned, gripping Thor's hand tighter.
Frigga turned to the healer, who was busy cutting away Loki's pants. "His water has broken, the child is coming," the woman supplied quickly.
Their mother nodded and turned to Thor. "You should leave," she instructed quickly.
"No." He stood fast by his decision, and quickly cut his mother off before she could say something else. A feat that took more courage than Thor thought he had. "No, I'm not leaving him. Not now." Thor also wasn't willing to leave his child. It was too dangerous.
Frigga nodded, suddenly understanding, before their attention was turned back to Loki as he let out a shrill scream.
The healer frowned. "Something's not right," she murmured, reaching out to place a hand on Loki's stomach. "The child is…" she closed her eyes, focusing on the energy radiating from the body, "something's wrong with the child."
"What? What's wrong?" Thor asked quickly. Loki's hand was suddenly surprisingly crushing and he raised his head slightly as he took in what was being said.
"My child…" he whimpered, terrified that he was going to lose his baby before it was even born.
"Everything is going to be alright." His mother was suddenly leaning by him once more, cupping his cheek in his hand. "You're going to be alright, and so is your child."
Loki just cried, sobbing for his still unborn child. One that he had prayed to the gods was a girl. Right now, he was sure he would hate the babe if it was a boy. He would despise it for putting him through such pain. And he didn't just mean the labor.
"Please," he begged softly, "please don't… don't let h-him take my baby. Not this one. Pl…please mother."
Frigga watched her son in sorrow. She hated to see him in such pain. And she didn't just mean the labor.
Loki started screaming again, only able to feel pain now.
The labor seemed to last for days, though it was only hours. He blocked out everything and everyone else in the room, focusing only on the instructions he was given. It was terrifying. But eventually the healer was urging him on faster, telling him that his child was almost there. He would have smiled if he was able to actually move his face.
But the reason to smile was soon lost. He felt empty as soon as the babe was free. Empty without that life in him. Empty because he knew, he just knew he was terrible mother for hating a child that had done nothing but live. Gods, please be a girl.
A bigger issue was looming though. Loki was on the verge of passing out, his senses fading fast. But he could see that something was wrong. The healer was talking very fast and it took him a moment to realize that he couldn't hear his child's crying above the dull noise. He should hear crying.
His glassy gaze turned to Thor and he saw that his brother was crying. "Thor," he managed to rasp out, "W-what's… is it…? Okay?" What was wrong? Is his child okay? Was his child…?"
Thor looked at him with a mixture of sadness and what he thought was pride. But Loki couldn't hold back the faint feeling for very much longer. The blackness took him, mirroring the heavy silence in the room.
When he came to Loki was still very much aware of the pain that racked his body. But the first thing he was aware of was the absence of life in his womb. It took him a moment to remember what had happened.
No. No, not his baby. They'd taken his baby. That's why he couldn't hear the cries. They'd taken his baby. No, please no.
"Loki," a soft voice was calling for him, "Loki, are you awake?"
Loki tried to respond but it was just a sob. Not his child. He didn't even get the chance to hold it.
"Loki, can you hear me?"
"M-My ba…baby," he moaned softly, barely opening his eyes.
"It's fine, the babe is fine. There was some trouble, but it's fine now."
That only eased some of Loki's worry. He had to know. He just had to know. "Is it…?"
"It's alive," the soft voice repeated. He suddenly recognized it as his mother. "Thor is watching over it."
It. It. It. She wasn't saying the gender. Gods, please, he begged once more.
"I… I want t-to see it." At least hold it, before he had to give it up. At least see the face of the child he already hated.
He opened his eyes some more, able to see the small nod his mother gave him. "Just a moment." She left his side and Loki took a second to take stock of the situation.
He'd been moved in his sleep, propped up against a few pillows and cleaned up as best as the servants could manage. The bedding had been changed and now he was covered with blankets. He glanced over at the corner and saw where his mother had disappeared to.
She and Thor were conversing in the corner. If he ignored the pain and strained to see he could make out the small bundle in his brother's arms.
It was so tiny, dwarfed even more by Thor's large stature. His child was too small, too weak he supposed, seeing as it had come early. Another reason to despise it.
Apparently Thor didn't see it like that. He was smiling as he gazed down at the baby, a smile that Loki hadn't seen in a long time.
Soon his brother tore his gaze from the child, turning the smile at Loki. He made his way back to the bed, ignoring the frown Loki was giving him.
How could he be so happy? Their child was in danger; there was no time for smiles.
"Loki," Thor was suddenly next to him, sitting on the edge of the bed so he could carefully hand over the child. "Would you like to hold our son?"
And there it was, the words he'd known had to be said. They had a son. Thor's firstborn son, heir to the throne. A position that their father would do anything to strip him of.
Loki truly hated his son.
But suddenly the baby was being lowered into his arms, and Loki's eyes widened at the sight. His son was so small, wrapped up in a blanket that only left enough room for his face to peek out. The boy was sleeping now, obviously having tired himself out from crying. But Loki just couldn't bring himself to look away.
It was then that he realized that he'd been wrong. He didn't hate the child, he hated himself. He hated himself for loving his son before he was even born. He hated how he had allowed himself to love the boy even though he knew he was going to lose him. He knew it was going to hurt.
The tears started to fall once more. Soon Loki had started to sob, shaking as he pulled the babe to his chest in a desperate attempt to shield him from harm.
"Loki, Loki, it's alright. It's all going to be okay." Thor leaned over and brushed away some of his brother's tears, trying to console him. "He's not going to take our child away, I won't let him."
"How can you stop him?" Loki hissed through his tears. "You're the golden son Thor, you can't go against his orders."
"I can for my son." He didn't say 'I can for you'. But Loki couldn't afford to be selfish, not now. "Mother has a plan. You two will be alright."
Loki took a deep breath and adjusted his hold on the child, already an expert on how to hold his baby. "How can you say that? How can you be sure?" he challenged.
"I can't," Thor could never lie to him, "but it's our only hope for right now. We have to try and get you out of Asgard."
Loki finally glanced up at his brother, confusion plain on his face. "But… where will we go? He's hardly been in this world for long and I'm still very weak, it's dangerous."
"Alfheimr." His mother spoke up from where she had taken a seat near his bed. "The elves are here, I will speak with a few that I know I can trust. They'll help to take you out of here. But it will have to be soon."
Loki glanced down again, focusing on the bundle in his arms. "What about… what about father?"
"I'll take care of him. You rest and save your strength." His mother rested a hand on his arm and gave him a soft smile even though he still had yet to look up.
Loki nodded softly and shifted, tentatively bringing a hand up to brush at the boy's cheek. The baby twitched and a small noise emitted from his throat. Loki tamped down a smile.
"Why… what was wrong with him? Why did he come so suddenly?" He could only ignore the advice his mother gave him, worry for the child now prominent in his mind. It was still terrifying to think that danger was around the corner but he had to make sure his son was well enough to make the escape with him.
There was movement next to him and Loki felt Thor press a soft kiss to the top of his head. "We almost lost him," the god admitted softly, "the chord was wrapped around his neck when he was born, he wasn't breathing at first." Loki's sharp eyes looked to his brother, fear still relevant. "It took a moment, but he finally powered through. The healer said that your body reacted to the danger and pushed an early labor."
Loki nodded softly and settled back with the baby. "I was cautious, a few extra spells that would ensure his safety if anything went wrong."
Thor put a hand on his back and squeezed his neck. "Thank you."
"I didn't do it for you," Loki murmured, gazing back at the small bundle that was still sleeping soundly.
There was silence for a long moment before the babe squirmed and opened its mouth, letting out a sudden noise of discontent. This time Loki couldn't help but smile. The baby was quite cute after all; he deserved to enjoy a moment of happiness from him considering all he'd been through for the damn thing.
"I think he's hungry," his mother murmured, giving his arm a soft pat. "You set to feeding him and I'll start taking care of preparations. We don't have much time to lose. And remember, if anyone is to ask for some reason you have a daughter."
Loki nodded softly and tried to quiet the babe's sudden cries. As she was getting up Loki's attention shifted minutely. "Mother," he called softly, "thank you. For everything."
Frigga smiled softly and leaned in to kiss his forehead. "Anything for you."
Loki knew she was telling the truth.
