Trigger warning: If you have had thoughts of suicide or self harm and the subject makes you uncomfortable, this story is not for you. Do not read on if you are triggered by events that involve depression.

And for those people who aren't, I hope you enjoy!

Chapter 1: The Failed Attempt

Evan stood at the bottom of the sycamore, staring up at its mighty branches. Was he really prepared to do this? Was he so lonely that he would risk doing something like this, just for the sake of the burden leaving him?

What was he saying.

Of course he was.

He took a deep breath as he grabbed onto the first branch and pulled himself into the air.

One foot after the other. He climbed, higher and higher until the next branch that he grabbed hold of bent under his weight. He looked down. He wasn't high enough, but he didn't think he would be able to even go much higher.

He grabbed yet another branch and looked down again. Maybe if he landed the right way...

He gasped as the branch beneath him gave way and he was left dangling in the air, holding on to the branch above his head with all his strength.

Shit, shit, shit. It wasn't supposed to be an accident. He wanted to do it at his own free will.

He was holding on, but the branch was bending further and further by the second. There was another branch that he could put his foot on, but he didn't. Could he make this look like an accident and spare his mother's feeling? Even just a little would do.

He looked up at his hands, then down at the ground again.

"You can do this, Evan," he mumbled to himself.

He felt his hands slipping off and as he fell to the ground he heard a, "Wait, don't-!"

Too late.

He hit the ground, hard. His arm started throbbing and his vision went blurry.

When it started to clear up, he saw a face staring down at him.

"What the fuck-are you alright?" the guy said.

Evan tried to get up, but when he went to move his left arm it collapsed under his weight and he let out a cry of pain.

"I'll take that as a no." The guy reached for Evan's good arm and helped him to his feet. Evan got a good look at him. His eyes were bloodshot and he was tucking something into his own pocket.

"Do you need to go to the hospital? Your arm looks really bad," he said.

"N-no, I'm fine," Evan said. Maybe if he could get this kid away from him he could try again.

The guy looked at him, seeming to be inspecting his face. He rose an eyebrow at him suspiciously. "I'll take you to the hospital," he said as if Evan didn't have an option. Which, turns out, he didn't, because the next thing he knew, he was in this person's car and driving to the hospital.

"You're that Evan Hansen kid, right?" the guy said, pulling up into the hospital parking lot and opening the door for him,

"Y-yeah," Evan stuttered, mumbling a little as he stood and they started walking to the door.

"The name's Connor," the guy said.

"C-Connor? Murphy?" Evan said. "Wait, a-aren't you that guy that-"

"Yes, I threw the printer that one time. Jesus, what the hell is it with people and remembering that one detail about me?"

Connor seemed weirdly calm about this whole ordeal, while Evan was fighting back tears from both the pain and not being able to do what he wanted.

Connor escorted Evan into the hospital, and the rest was pretty much a blur as Heidi, Evan's mom, hospital scrubs and all, came in when he was getting his cast on and freaked out. She asked why he had been climbing a tree when she thought he was at home, he said that he thought it was a good way to pass time and didn't expect to fall when he did.

He hated lying.

So then, why was he doing it?

His mom was called back to work not long after she entered the room that he was in and he expected that he had to walk the four miles home.

Guess that wasn't the case.

When he walked out into the parking lot and started walking down the sidewalk, cradling his arm against his chest and ready to wait until tomorrow to do what he was going to do, a car pulled up next to him and honked its horn.

He looked over and saw that it was Connor.

"W-what is it?" Evan asked, ready to be teased for "falling" out of a tree.

"Need a ride home?"

Evan froze. "...What?"

Connor rolled his eyes, clearly annoyed. "What are you, deaf? Do. You. Need. A. Ride. Home?"

"Uh... yo-you don't need to," Evan said. This is strange. Connor was usually a kid that kept to himself. He barely even showed his face, and he was almost never in class because he was either skipping out on school or in detention.

Connor rolled his eyes. "You look like you're ready to pass out any second, Hansen. Let me take you the fuck home."

"Wh-I just-r-I'll be fine by m-myself," Evan said. He pinched his arm, hard, to try and stop himself from stuttering so much.

Connor saw that and his eyes softened for a millisecond before hardening once more. "Just get in the fucking car, Hansen. I'm not taking no for an answer." He leaned over and popped the car door opened.

Well, now Evan had the feeling he was about to get killed, but for some bazaar reason he got in the car anyway and closed the door.

Connor started driving. "Now, tell me where your house is so I can take you there," he said.

Evan told him his address.

He scoffed. "Seriously? That's like, the area where homeless people go to die."

Evan stayed silent. It was silent for the rest of the ride. There was nothing to say. Evan, without thinking really, started clawing at his own arm under his shirt, in a place that was hidden from Connor's or anyone else's sight.

He felt a flick on the side of his head. "Hey, don't do that."

"What?"

"Don't do that."

"Why do you care?"

Connor scoffed in disgust. "I don't care, I don't give a fuck. I don't want dead skin in my car."

Evan looked at the floor that was completely covered in filth and decided not to say anything about it.

Not long later, they pulled up to Evan's place and Evan got out of the car, shutting the door behind him and starting up the stairs as soon as possible.

"You're welcome!" Connor called after him.

Evan paused at the door. "Oh! Uh... T-thank you!" he called back, then he opened the door to his house and shut it behind him.

Then he went to his window to watch Connor leave. But the moment he looked outside, he met Connor's eyes and Even immediately ducked out of sight, where he stayed until he heard the sound of crinkling paper outside of his door, then a couple seconds later an engine turn on and drive away.

Evan got up from his little hiding space in the corner and ran to the door, pulling it open. There was nothing there. He could have sworn he heard something.

As he went to close it again, a piece of paper flew off of it, attached to a strip of tape. Confused, he bent down and picked it up.

On the paper, there was a number. Not just any number, the number for the national suicide prevention hotline.

Evan stared down the road in the direction he guessed Connor went.

How did he know?

A/N

I hope you guys liked the first chapter! I really had fun writing it, that's for sure!