Young Love Broken Hearts
It was a big day when I woke on January the eighteenth and I knew it too.
As I was getting dressed and ready for the day, it did not once escape my mind that what I was to do that day would break two hearts and change my future forever, which had previously seemed so perfect and planned out.
At eleven o'clock I left the house to meet my soon to be ex-boyfriend.
I walked down the street to the place we had arranged to meet, trying unsuccessfully to slow my racing heart.
Turning the corner I slowly began to see him. He was leaning against an old lamp post with his hands resting gently in his pockets, his baggy shirt hanging off his skinny frame and a relaxed look on his face.
As I continued walking towards him I began doubting what I was doing, and asking myself why do you want to let him go? Look at him, his so handsome, so beautiful. Why are you ending a two year relationship so abruptly, have you thought this through?
When I reached him the voices abruptly shut off and we greeted each other with the usual hello's and how are you? And we headed towards the oval
Not many words were exchanged on our short walk to the oval; it would have been rather silent if it weren't for the constant voices in my head telling me to let him go now and get the hard bit over and done with, but my mouth was dry and it was hard to get anything out at all.
At the oval we carefully selected the greenest and softest patch of grass and lay down watching the white puffy clouds slowly float by.
As we lay there we talked about our dreams, we talked about our futures, we argued about the many beliefs that we each held and we were here on earth.
This talking went on for at least another half hour without me ever mentioning anything about why I wanted to meet him that day and before we decided to keep walking.
We left the oval and walked leisurely through the small and quiet suburb while successfully continuing our previous conversation.
This whole time I tried to find a break in our talking or an appropriate time to address the issue I had with our relationship. But I couldn't bring myself to say anything because every time we began a new topic or even when he spoke I was reminded of all the positive aspects of our intimate and long lasting relationship. I was reminded of the few ways we related to each other, the great times we had shared, the beautiful sound our laughter made and how much I cared for him.
Our aimless walking through the streets had led us to a small park, which was more of a patch of grass with a bench in the middle.
We sat down on the bench to enjoy the cool shade and our conversation suddenly died, it cut off abruptly and there was no more.
I wouldn't say that the silence was an awkward one but one where the two of us were both deep in thought and knew exactly what the other was thinking without having to use any words.
Before he had seemed so bubbly and relaxed; but know sitting beside him I could tell that he was far from relaxed, I sensed that he knew I was putting something off and hiding it from him.
Of course he was completely right, so I thought ok now's the time, now's the time to change my future and do the heart breaking.
There wasn't much that I could say and there wasn't a nice way of saying so I took a deep breath, steadied my voice and told him; "we cant see each other anymore" and before I could continue he walked off with his hands resting in his pockets yet again, though this time he was anything but relaxed.
As I watched him slowly disappear. I thought of all the things I still wanted to say and how we had been so stupid to think that two young primary school lovers could keep a steady relationship forever.