This scene came about after I wanted Episode 6 of Season 1 again, particularly toward the end and wondered why Miranda didn't just hand him her darn speech! And then I was watching a Miranda and Gary video on YouTube by a use called Bazinga! It's set to If You're Not the One by Daniel Bedingfield. And it made me well up, and I knew that I had to write a scene to it. This is what came about. I hope you like it! Thanks for reading.
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. Just borrowing the characters for a bit.
Everything had gone wrong. Miranda had the perfect speech written out to tell Gary how she felt. Her daydream went perfectly, though they always did. But when faced with the real Gary, all she can do is get flustered. Plus they get distracted by the dog, and by then her mind is so muddled that she gets it all screwed up. Feeling herself getting frustrated and angry with herself as she looks at Gary, she shakes her head a little and pulls the paper out of her pocket, taking it and pressing it into his hand. "This.. this is what I want to say, but can't." She finally says sadly as she looks at him. "I hope you enjoy Hong Kong." She says before she brushes past him, snatching up the dog and then hurrying out of the restaurant, managing not to make a fool of herself on the way back. First of all, she returns the dog, before she heads back to her flat, walking over to collapse onto her couch.
There is nothing she can do now about Gary leaving. He's going, again, to pursue his dreams. And she's happy. She wants him to do well, and he's wanted something like this. No matter that she wants him to stay for her, so that her heart won't break, she can't ask him to do that. Whatever Clive seems to think, she knows Gary wouldn't stay for her. He doesn't feel that way about her, and he never would. No matter how much she wished it would happen, no matter how long she would pine over him. She would smile and say how lovely it was to meet whatever new girlfriend he brought around, while her heart shattered each time.
Miranda was such a fool. All it took was drinks, a smile, a hug, for her to think that maybe since Gary came back, things would be different. Maybe he really was different and would see her in a different light this time. But it was the same as ever. She was his best friend and he was hers. And that was all.
Dropping her head into her hands, she finally lets out the tears that had been building for the last few minutes. She needs to be able to face Gary later at the party, but all she can do right now is sob into her pillow. She had given him her speech, essentially her love letter, but even if he read it, that doesn't mean anything. And he probably wouldn't read it. Why would he see it as anything other than just a fear of losing her best friend? Not that she is capable of that kind of manipulation or deceit, but that doesn't mean he hasn't thought she was, before.
Her sobs had at least quieted against her pillow by the time the door opens. "Stevie.. I'm not really in the mood right now." Miranda says in a trembling voice as she lifts her head and wipes her eyes, figuring that it was her friend coming up to scold her for not doing her part in the shop.
"Miranda." Gary's voice is soft but serious, with a tone in it that Miranda had never heard before. Despite what a mess she must be, she still shoots to her feet, turning to stare at Gary for a moment, where he's lingering just inside her door.
"Gary.. what.. what are you doing here?" Miranda asks in a bit of a panic, desperately wiping her cheeks while she backs toward her radio a few steps.
Lifting the folded piece of paper in his hand as if that should explain everything, Gary watches her with a clearly distressed and worried expression. "Did you mean this?" He asks as he watches her. He could tell that she had worked on it for a while, with how some words were erased or just crossed out. This was what she was wanting to talk to him about when she came in, and all he could do was fawn over her dog. What a fool he was. Slowly, he steps into the flat and turns to close the door behind him, locking it so they won't be interrupted because he thinks that there are things that need to be said. Finally, he turns back to look at Miranda, taking a few more steps closer to her slowly, watching for any signs she's going to bolt.
Trembling a little, Miranda puts a hand over her mouth for a moment as she takes a deep breath, forcing back the remainder of her tears. She swallows several times before she can answer. "Yes. Every word." She finally manages to croak out in a trembling tone. She watches Gary worriedly, a vulnerable, scared expression on her face.
Nodding slowly, Gary looks down at the paper for a moment before he puts it aside on her counter, returning his eyes to Miranda's. "You.. you've never said.." he begins slowly, stepping toward her again. He knows her better than anyone else in his life, and he knows how scared she really is. "No. Don't." he says as he sees her starting to move, avoiding him and trying to escape the other side of the couch. With two strides, he catches her arm and turns her around, pulling her against his chest. Despite her struggling, he holds onto her. "Miranda, stop. Please, stop.. don't run. Not this time." He says in a slightly choked voice as he clings to her, waiting until she stops trying to get away and instead grasps onto his shirt a little, hiding her face against his shoulder. That, he can deal with.
Miranda panics, that's the best way she can put it. She wishes she could take everything back, to not tell him, or show him the letter, that she just wished him on his way. Because then she wouldn't have to face the actual rejection and she could still have hope. She could fool herself into thinking that maybe some part of him might want her someday. But she's not really a match for Gary's strength, especially when she's feeling so weak, so eventually she gives up. One single sob tears from her throat, before she swallows a little. "It's fine, Gary. I understand. I know.. I shouldn't have even.. I'm an idiot." She reassures, trying to give him an easy way out and maybe make this as easy on them both as she can. "I get it. You don't feel the same. You never have. You're going to Hong Kong, and that's for the best." She says without giving him a chance to even reply, too afraid of the answer she might get.
Gary is trying to gather his words, but Miranda keeps talking and it makes it very hard for him. "Miranda, stop." He says firmly as he holds her tightly against him, trying to get her to stop talking so that he can get a word in edgewise, especially since she seems to be trying to convince herself of something that's just not true. "I'm not going to Hong Kong." He says quickly, hoping to surprise her into keeping quiet. He can't look down at her, not now, or he might lose it, too, especially when he hears such pain in her voice. "I have been waiting for years.. years.. to hear those words from you. The ones from your letter." He finally says, taking a slow, deep breath as he holds her. "God, Miranda.. I love you." He blurts, blushing a little, but he doesn't back down from it. "I have loved you since University. I knew I had to leave and try and get over you. That's why I went backpacking and to Malaysia." He explains, sliding one hand up to rub the back of her neck gently. "I didn't know you were here, when I took the job with Clive. You were just the same, when I saw you in the restaurant that first day, except more beautiful than ever. I got you out to drinks, and then I just.. I panicked. I'm so sorry. The way you talked about marriage and everything, I figured you didn't want any sort of relationship, that's why you were single. So I did what I always did, I backed off. I made sure I would be the best friend I could, no matter how much it killed me." He whispers to her as he holds her, glad that he doesn't have to look at her face as he confesses, tears building in his own eyes as he thinks of those years away and how much he struggled with seeing her again.
Freezing when he tells her about Hong Kong, Miranda sniffles a little, but keeps her face hidden, and despite having his shirt in her grasp, her fingers dig hard into her palms. She's not sure what is happening right now. Did she finally break, is this a dream? Slowly, she forces her hands to release his shirt as she listens to his confession, letting out a shuddering breath when his warm hand touches her skin. She allows herself to be soothed by his touch and by the smell of his aftershave which she's always loved. When he falls silent again, she takes a chance, and hesitantly lifts her head up, staring at his chin for a moment before she can force her eyes up to his, gasping a little as she sees the sincerity there. "You're.. you.. really?" She asks hesitantly as she looks at him, carefully moving her arms down and around his waist slowly which pulls them closer together.
Nodding a little, Gary leans his forehead against Miranda's, closing his eyes for a moment and sighing in relief when she embraces him in return. "Yes, Miranda. I love you so much." He whispers softly, opening his eyes to look at her again. "I have known you for 15 years. I've seen you so sick you can barely move. We've slept in eachother's arms.. for warmth, but still... There have been days you come into the restaurant and my heart stops because you are so beautiful. Your smile takes my breath away." he whispers, moving his hand from her neck to cup her cheek as he looks into her eyes. "I have seen you dead drunk, and after you've been dumped. I have seen the worst. But I have also never had so much fun in my life as when I've been with you. My life was so dull while I was traveling. You have such a zest and a love of life, a way of looking at things that is so unique. You constantly surprise me. You make me a better man." He says as he looks into her eyes, hesitating for a moment before he leans in and places a tender, loving kiss on her lips, not knowing how else to show her how he feels.
With tears welling up in her eyes again, Miranda gives a small laugh as he describes some of the horrible ways he's seen her, but she smiles a little and nods as her heart lifts. She's still scared, and she knows that she will need time and lots of reassurance, but if Gary really is staying around, she doesn't think she'll have a problem with that. Her hold on him tightens a little in shock as he kisses her, but she returns the kiss, letting it linger before she finally pulls back a little. "I love you, Gary." She finally whispers out loud, licking her lips a little. "This scares me, but you're all I've ever wanted." She says honestly as she looks into his eyes.
Nodding a little, Gary takes a deep breath and pulls her close to him. "I know. It scares me, too. But we've been together 15 years and haven't broken up yet." He whispers to he, burying his face in her neck for a moment. "It may not be easy.. I'll cock it up, I'm sure. But we are who we are. And I don't think there's anything we can't get through." He reassures as he pulls back to look into her eyes again. "That is.. if you want to risk it?" he asks hopefully as he watches her, holding his breath a little as he waits for her response.
Miranda looks into his eyes for a moment, moving a hand around to lay it against his cheek for a moment before she slides it down to the soft skin of his neck, her thumb brushing against the scruff on his jaw. "Yes, I do. I'd risk anything on you, Gary." She whispers before she presses forward to kiss him again, trying to convey everything through that kiss.
As he returns the kiss the same and holds Miranda close to him, Gary can only think that he will never get tired of this woman, that he hopes she never stops making his life interesting, his heart swelling with the love he feels for her, silently vowing that he will do whatever he has to, to keep her.