I hate Shadowcat, so, naturally I have to write a story about her to which my disgust is brought up in the comedic sense. And too all you Shadowcat lovers, please, just cause you're like "Kitty wouldn't act like that! If anything being as health conscious as she is she would eat the veggies!" I say to you all, "EAT SPINACH AND DIE!! IT'S AN AMUSING STORY! GET OVER IT ALREADY" So I said I liked all kinds of e-mail. Except the ones from WHINERS! By the way, anyone see the butter cow at the Ohio State Fair? Anyway, as always I must give Marvel credit for owning their characters and tell everyone I am making no money off of this. And if someone is making money off if this, it's without my knowledge and their head will roll! If you want to archive this, or any of my stories, don't ask. Just do it!! And notify me. EEEEEE-MMMAAAAIIILLLLL!!!!!!! SEND IT TO ME NOW!!!! Is that too subtle?
Kitty sat at the table picking at her dinner plate. There were traces of mashed potatoes and steak sauce on the ceramic surface. They only thing that remained were the lima beans. 14 green wrinkled lima beans peeked up at her. She would know. She counted them.
"Kitty, why are you poking your fork around on your plate?" asked Kurt, looking up from his book.
"Adfj dgksddi glkjribles." she grumbled.
"Pardon?"
She looked up from her plate. "I hate vegetables!" she shouted. "God! Turn up your Beltone!"
He remained calm. "And why is that?"
"Well.. They're.... green and... their.. just.. green."
"They're just green." he repeated.
"That's what I said." she retorted.
"Well, if that's your only excuse... have you even tried them?"
"No... I.."
"Then how do you know? Eat them Kitty. No arguments. Little starving kids in third world countries don't even get vegetables."
"But-"
"NO arguments. When I get back, I expect those vegetables to be missing. And in your stomach. Not the garbage."
"What if one of our enemy's has laced them with some kinda bio-hazardous residue that'll come in to effect in a couple hours and I'll be dead. And it'll be all your fault for making me eat those ugly wrinkled things."
Kurt shook his blue head and smiled a sharp toothed smile. "Kitty, mein freund, vegetables can't kill you." Then he left the room, his tail, waving behind him.
"Stupid, self righteous, son of a... Little starving kids in third world countries don't even get vegetables." she mocked. "Yeah, my ass! Why can't we live in one of 'em then?" Her gaze fell down at her plate and she stared at the lima beans. They just sat there looking..... Green. She shuddered at the thought. Mold was green and it wasn't good for you. Snot was green and that DEFINITLEY wasn't good. She reached for her fork. After sifting them around a couple more times, and counting them twice more, she began to reason with herself. They may actually taste good.. Are you kidding? If they look disgusting, and feel disgusting, they must be.. "Disgusting!" she muttered. She poked her fork into one of the lima beans and brought it up to eye level, examining it carefully. Well, here goes nothing! She held her nose and popped the lima bean into her mouth.
10 minutes later, Kurt came whistling into the room with another book, his blue tail swishing happily behind him. He stopped dead in his tracks. Kitty lay dead on the floor, she had choked on the lima bean.