AN:

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, or any books in the series :( Unfortunately.

First actual fanfic, slowly figuring out how it works :P

Wish.

I lay on my small, purple bed, staring blankly at the white ceiling. It had been months since they left, but I could never seem to get them out of my head –or my heart. It was like they had a large space reserved just for them, and when they –more specifically he- left, he took the piece in my heart with him, tearing the rest of it away too, cruelly and violently. It hurt to think about them, as though my heart –space- was crying out at its loss, and took it out on itself, tearing me apart, taking the rest of me down with it. Sometimes, I wished I could get over him. Just remember and smile at once was, get on with my life again. But I always knew that would be impossible, the memory they left me with was too big, too beautiful and precious. If it had to hurt, I would deal with it, those were the best times in my whole life, and they would probably never be topped. So that's why I was here now, lying lifelessly on my bed in Charlie's house. I think he was beginning to hate me being around –even as my Father. Not that he hated me, it was just the way I always was. I had heard him talking about me all the time, to his best friend Billy Black, to other friends who politely questioned on my wellbeing, to my mother, apparently I was as good as dead. My attempts to fool him into thinking I was okay were long over, nobody was fooled whatsoever.

"Bella!" He called from downstairs, a minute after the phone rang. Obviously, it was for me. I had no feeling left to wonder who it was. Sluggishly, I got up from the bed and trudged downstairs to where he was standing, phone to his ear. "Yeah, she's here now Jake. I'll put her on, yeah?" He took a moment to look me up, judging whether I looked stable enough to speak. He knew best of all, my temper had greatly increased since the... Incident. If anybody said something that hurt me, I had no aversion to getting annoyed. Though most of the time, I was screaming at myself internally whenever I was screaming at someone else, terrified of myself. Really, the hatred was only to me, I was so useless. I was no use to anybody, especially not someone as perfect as... But I'd been stupid enough to wish that one day I would be, and since that had failed, I was now even more useless. I had people sympathizing with me, when really; I didn't deserve them before the Cullens.

Oh, crap. My knees shook together, but I lunged for the phone anyway. "Okay... Here she is." Charlie said in a resigned tone, gently handing me the phone. I carefully put it to my ear, half expecting not to hear Jacob, but instead someone reminding me of how worthless I really was. That was what my nightmares often consisted of, though the voice was always that one voice, the velvet honey one... Telling me everything I knew about my life. Instead of becoming upset, I welcomed the abuse in my dream, agreeing fervently. I knew too well that the dreams were right.

I didn't know whether it was fortunate or not, but the voice on the other end of the line was indeed Jacob Black. "Hey Bella!" He said, voice forcefully cheerful. He tried really hard to help me, and though he probably knew it was worthless, I was a lost cause, he carried on, hurting himself too. Wait, I wasn't entirely useless, I was a gloom bringer. Nobody wanted to be around me. The love of my life had left me, along with my best friends, and even now, my parents were basically arguing over who would have me. At the minute, Charlie was losing.

"Hey, Jake." I rasped down the phone. The voice didn't surprise me, I'd been crying all night, and when I dreamed, I was probably screaming, like Charlie had often said I was. Plus, it was my first time using my voice today. Yup, 3 o'clock.

"How are you today?" He said in a soft, patronizing tone. A memory flashed to my head. He used to say that. I keeled over, feeling like I'd been winded. Thankfully, Charlie wasn't in the room to see, though he knew things were like this.

"I'm good, thank you." I said sharply. It was my only tone that didn't sound desperately sad, as I'd recently found out. And I didn't like the patronizing.

"Great!" Jake pretended to be fooled and acted enthusiastic. He wasn't a good actor. "So... I was wondering if you wanted to come out to the beach today? I haven't seen you in ages." Once upon a time, Jake had a crush on me, and this call would have been regular, considering they had left. That was a while ago, when I'd been trying to convince him I was no good for him. I was unable to love, and why should he bother? For all he knew, he'd get bored of me, like he did, and it would be time wasted for him. Being a werewolf, that still had to find his imprint that was very likely. I found out he was a while ago, around the same time he tried to convince me his feelings for me were more than a crush. Luckily for him, it was just a crush, and he was now over me, in that sense. I was just his ruined friend now, someone whose life you could look down on and feel better about your own.

"Why, Jake?" I sighed. I hated being around him and making him sad.

"Like I said, I haven't seen you in aaages, and I reckoned you'd miss me." He chuckled. There were only a few people I truly missed, and they were never coming back. Before I could get upset or annoyed, I registered that he had been joking. "Seriously, you sound like you could use some company. You've had no company since..." There was a snarl at the other end of the phone as he thought about the words he couldn't say to me. It made no difference whether he growled, or said 'the Cullens never loved you, they never will, I hate them and so should you Bella.' Of course, I didn't hate them. They were very good at making up convincing lives and lies, and the lies were enough to make me feel like my life was blissful. Even though Jacob and I hadn't actually decided upon anything, in fact, he wasn't even finished growling at the Cullens he saw in his head. I slammed the phone down on its handle, hanging up. I sat down on the little wooden chair beside the phone for a couple of minutes. It wasn't Jacob's fault, he was trying to cheer me up, only had failed badly. I wondered what he was thinking now, what he thought of my ungratefulness. I was so mean to everybody nowadays. A guilty tear escaped the corner of my eye, and I picked the phone back up.

"Hello?" He mumbled, a rustling sound as he fidgeted with the phone.

"...Jake? I'll be over soon."

AN: Don't worry, it gets better, it was just an impulsive idea of mine. I hope you like it though (:

Please review? Thankyouu x