Bebe's PoV

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"I still don't understand why you're doing this! Why don't you just buy the boots normally? I'll help you!" Kyle pleaded with me, staring into my eyes with such adorable fear. Adorable...but pretty damn annoying. I didn't take him for the clingy type.

"Oh, just pay the full cost, huh? Alright smart guy. Do you have $1200 lying around?"

"They cost $1200 dollars?!" Kyle almost hurt my ears yelling this. I nodded in response, giving him an annoyed look. At least now he'd understand how important this was.

Let me back up. I love shoes. And boots when the occasion calls for them. Which is pretty often when you live in South Park. So Versace is coming out with a gorgeous pair of boots in about a month. I have to have these boots, and the only feasible way to get them is to date Clyde until that time and get them as a birthday present from him. As fate would have it, my birthday was only a few days after their arrival date. For such expensive boots I couldn't just start dating him for a few days and expect to get them. I tried something like that before in fourth grade and I don't know how many people found out about it. I have to make Clyde believe that the relationship between us is real. Of course dating him means not dating Kyle for a while, and for some reason he's getting really upset about it. We've been dating for six months now. We started shortly before school began our junior year.

Oh, and the best part is that no one else knows about these boots. No one can beat me at being the first to have a pair. My cousin is involved in the underground and her sources have informed her that they are indeed coming here to America.

"What about the boots I bought you for Christmas? Aren't those good enough?"

"Oh my God don't you dare try putting me on a guilt trip. Look, you're a guy so I don't expect you to fully understand this, but these boots are unbelievable. They have authentic whale-skin on the outside, hand-crafted velvet on the inside, and some kind of NASA issued foam in the middle to keep your feet dry. They say that not even a fire-hose can penetrate these things. They are just too sexy to pass up."

"You're sexy enough as it is!" These comments tend to make me blush, but I knew he didn't really mean it this time. He's being so selfish.

"Kyle, please. I'm not going to argue about this any further. Trust me, you'll be so happy when I come strutting down the side-walk in these boots."

"I'm not happy now..." He continued to grumble. God, he's being so pouty.

"This is going to happen. If you care about me, you won't make a big deal about it. Promise you won't tell him, okay?" His eyes lit up.

"I hadn't even thought of that, of course!"

"KYLE!" I didn't care if he was joking or not. "I'm dead serious. If you tell him I'm going to buy some boots with spurs and puncture your kidneys with them, understand?"

"That means you'd have to ride me like a horse to do that..." He gave me his sexy eyes. I was fed up.

"KYLE!!"

"Alright, fuck! I won't tell him!" I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Okay, thank you. After tonight I'm hooking up with him."

"Then we'd better make this night count." He grinned at me weakly. I wasn't exactly in the mood to make out with him after he had been so whiny, but I did owe him at least that.

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As I walked up to Clyde's porch the next day I thought about how long I'd have to go without intimate contact. Kyle had made me pretty hot last night. We haven't had sex yet, but we came pretty damn close. He felt me up. Really felt me up. He is good with his hands.

I brushed all thoughts of Kyle out of my mind. I have to sell me being broken and looking for comfort. Not too needy, but enough for him to believe that I was serious. I thought about smearing my make-up a little bit to make it look like I had been crying, but I knew that would make me look too ugly. I'm trying to seduce him after all. I tousled my hair to give it a slightly unkempt look, as if I was too sad to worry about it. I creased my eyes with despair, and rang the doorbell.

I don't think I've ever seen someone look more shocked when I saw Clyde open the door and look at me.

"Bebe?! What are you doing here? What's wrong?"

"Can I come in?" I bent my head down and said this weakly.

"Y...you want to come in?"

Isn't that what I just said?! "Yes...please."

"Uh...okay." He stepped aside so I could walk into his house. I immediately walked over to where the couch was and sat down, sighing as I did it.

He sat down on the couch about a foot away from me. "What's going on?"

Time to make my move. I sighed again, doing what I needed to act hopeless. "Oh Clyde...it's just been so hard lately. Kyle doesn't respect me. He...he's such a pig! I don't know why I didn't realize it sooner, but...I had to get away." I sniffed to show I was trying to hold back a few tears. I let my hair hide my face so he couldn't tell I was faking it.

"Things aren't going well with Kyle?"

I shook my head pitifully. "Nope."

"So uh...do you want me to talk to him or something?" What are you stupid? You don't know Kyle at all!

"No, it's too late for that."

"Oh..." He sat there with a vacant expression on his face. Yeesh, he doesn't groom himself much. His hair looks pretty ratty and he has ridiculous patches of facial hair. What is that...like 14 hairs barely pulling together to form a mustache? This might be harder than I thought...gotta keep my mind on the boots. I guess I shouldn't expect him to make the first move. We rarely speak to each other. I took a deep breath and leaned over and hugged him tightly.

"Oh Clyde...I've liked you for a long time. I just wasn't brave enough to admit it." Usually Kyle has a nice, faint smell of cologne on him. But Clyde...he just smells like stale shirt. Nothing overpowering, but it's a smell I can do fine without.

"Whoa! You...you what?!"

"I know this is sudden...but things have been hard for me lately and I just had to get that off of my chest. I don't expect you to do anything about it...I'm sorry if I've made you uncomfortable...I-I'll leave now." I stood up. This was the brilliance of my plan. I wouldn't suggest us going out. I'd make him think it was his idea.

"Errr...I...o-okay. It was no problem really." I stopped. Why isn't he stopping me? Be a man, Clyde! Rescue me!

I glanced back at him over my shoulder, trying to show him that I was in emotional pain. "Do you not like me?"

His eyes widened. "I-I-I didn't say that...j-just...what's going on?" Wow, this is really uncomfortable for him, isn't it? Must guys would be horny enough to jump all over me. I'm beautiful enough after all. But this guy...what's his deal? Shit, guess I'll have to be more forceful with him. I sat back down and held his hand, giving him the best puppy dog eyes I could muster.

"I could really use a friend right now, Clyde. I know we haven't been friends much lately, and that's my fault. I think we could be something special...but only if you're up for it. What do you say?"

He avoided his eyes as he blushed a deep red. He rubbed his hand timidly. "'Something special?' W-what do you mean?" Good Lord...can you be any weaker, Clyde?

"Can we just go out once? That's all I ask. After that, if you don't like it, we can just be friends. Is that okay with you?" I shouldn't have to spell it out for him like this. It's borderline pathetic really.

"A d-date?!"

"If you wish to call it that. How about Friday? That will give us a few days to prepare. How about it?" I felt like I should be using a damn baby voice or something. I knew this whole thing wasn't going to be exactly easy, but this was ridiculous.

He kept silent, shivering slightly. He knows nothing about relationships apparently. "Please?" I pleaded, fighting to grit my teeth in frustration.

"O-okay." Thank God!

I forced a smile at him. "Thank you, Clyde! I'll see you Friday. I'll be here at six." I got up quickly and left. I had to get out of there. So my plan hadn't gone off exactly as I'd hoped, but I'd at least set up the first date. I know I have what it takes to make him want to stay with me. It looks like the hard part will be putting up with his insecurity as a guy. Just 33 days...

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A/N: So the whole Versace boot thing isn't based on anything I've heard about anywhere. I just used an expensive sounding brand and thought of what would be a great snow-boot. And yes, this is basically a call back to the episode, The List, which is one of my favorites. Or is it some sort of delayed sequel?