I am sooooooo tired now it isn't even funny =(
and i decided to write Karkat now, yay~
I do not own him nor the other trolls and children

Congratulations, you have just purchased, or were given, your very own KARKAT VANTAS unit. We at Astra Inc. have no idea why you would want to order this very hard to care for and slightly annoying unit, but it isn't any of our business. But if you do regret it, your unit is nonrefundable.

Technical Specifications:

Name: Karkat Vantas. Will respond to carcinoGeneticist, CG, Nubby Horns, Karkles, angrily to Beep Beep Meow, and Dumb Fuck, and Bulgreek Nookstain.

Age: can be ordered to be any age between 12 and 17

Place of manufacture: Alternia

Height: 5" 4"

Sign: Cancer

Blood Type: Classified

Your KARKAT VANTAS unit comes with:

2(two) long-sleeved shirts with gray cancer signs

2(two) pairs of gray pants

4(four) crappy computer viruses

1(one) Sickle Strife

Programming:

Leader: Your KARKAT VANTAS unit is the perfect leader for anything. Be it a bomb squad or Girl Scouts, he can lead them all to greatness.

Marriage Counselor: KARKAT VANTAS might not look like it but he does (?) know what he is talking about when it comes to love. Though this is definably girly and he might kill you for bringing up his girly pastimes.

Professional Computer Hacker: KARKAT VANTAS is so bad with electronics that he can break them in mere seconds. Perfect for getting rid of the murder evidence on your computer.

Removal of your KARKAT VANTAS unit:

The only way we know as of now is to leave any other units, though a GAMZEE MAKARA or a TEREZI PYROPE unit is the best bet, for a while. KARKAT should be up and screaming after about a half hour.

If you discover any other ways please contacts us via E-mail.

Re-Programming:

Default Crabby

Default Angry

Concerned

Locked scared

Your KARKAT VANTAS unit comes in default crabby and angry. Crabby mode means that KARKAT will never smile and will always act like a prick. Angry means that he will continue to cuss people out and generally be angry.

Concerned mode is unlocked by one of the other trolls being hurt or having a problem. Your KARKAT unit will start to worry and become less angry, but will stay crabby.

Scared mode is locked for a reason, mostly because it involves SOBER!GAMZEE, which is never a good thing. Just leave him with your KARKAT VANTAS and other trolls for a while, and they all will be scared.

Relationships:

GAMZEE MAKARA: Your unit and GAMZEE are fairly good friends and Moirails, and KARKAT is the only one that can get GAMZEE out of his sober mode

TEREZI PYROPE: TEREZI is the only one that knows about your units blood color and they have some red feelings for each other.

SOLLUX CAPTOR: these units are friendly rivals

NEPETA LEIJON: NEPETA has some red feelings for KARKAT but KARKAT will try to avoid her.

KANAYA MARYAM: your unit seems to respect KANAYA and has deemed her as one of the few "sane" trolls there.

Cleaning:

KARKAT is perfectly able to clean himself and will kill anyone who wants to take a bath with him

Feeding: Your KARKAT unit will eat what you give him.

Troubleshooting:

Problem: your unit came out of the box with a sickle, and is trying to kill you and is cussing you out.

Answer: please remember the waiver we made you sign

Problem: your unit is about to kill himself and you don't want to clean the mess.

Answer: What did you talk to him about? It is perfectly understandable if you were talking about the quadrants.

We hope that you enjoy your KARKAT VANTAS unit.

I love Karkat lol
well I'm going to go make a poll for what the next troll is going to be so please vote
peace out homies!