She'd kept up a good face for some time, but eventually she'd had to step back into the shadows where she could miss him and worry for him in peace. She didn't leave entirely in case Lady Mary needed something, but she just couldn't seem joyful any longer. She missed her husband. She worried desperately about him, and about herself. She knew she was innocent and she knew he was innocent, but until it was declared to be so by the courts, she just couldn't relax. Lady Mary and Lord Grantham had faith in the British courts, but they were of an entirely different class. Justice might be blind, but it could still see class.
She sighed, then nearly jumped out of her skin when a very familiar voice whispered over her shoulder.
"Happy Christmas," John said, and she whirled to face him in disbelief. Here she'd just been thinking about him, missing him, and he was here, delivered to her for Christmas like the best present she could ever ask for. She was so happy she couldn't even speak and she felt tears coming to her eyes immediately.
His eyes softened and he brushed her cheek with his hand before turning with her to go more deeply into the shadows where no one would disturb their reunion.
"But how did you-" she started to ask, and he shushed her gently.
"We'll worry about everything else later. For now we'll just have a very happy Christmas," he assured her lovingly, and she could only stare at him in mute joy before they walked quickly (almost ran, really) into the back hall and he pulled her into his arms for a passionate kiss, then lifted her physically off her feet in an ardent embrace.
They managed to reach the cottage without anyone else in the house or on the estate seeing them, and she felt like the giddy schoolgirl she'd never been as he shut and locked the door behind them. She immediately walked back into his arms, kissing him with all the fervour she'd had to hold in for all these weeks. First at the prison and then once he'd disappeared, sacrificing himself again for her. She couldn't kiss him enough, it seemed, and he had no objection.
After a bit of that, when it seemed like things might take a more intimate turn, she put a gentle hand on his chest.
"John, we don't have to," she told him tenderly. "I know you're tired. You've been traveling all day, I don't doubt. And it's been some time since we've seen each other properly, you know."
"Longer than a day," he admitted wryly, "And I am tired. But not too tired for this, I can promise you."
His wicked little grin made her blush and he smiled wider to see it. He had always enjoyed making her blush, and she had always rather enjoyed having him do it, as much as she might scold him for doing so in the Servants' Hall.
"Well, if you're quite sure," she said a bit coquettishly, and began unbuttoning his waistcoat. "It seems only right that I help you, you being so tired and all."
His answering chuckle and caress assured her that he not only appreciated her joke but also her initiative in assisting him.
Much later, when they were settled in their bed, she felt him kiss the top of her head as she snuggled into him.
"Comfortable, Anna?" he asked her, which was something he asked nearly every night. It was a little ritual of theirs, one that had started on their wedding night. Normally she just said "yes" or "of course" or something similar, but today she didn't. Today she wanted to reassure him and herself that no matter what, they'd fight the future together. They were a team, and a good one, and she was blessed beyond measure to have had him back just in time for Christmas.
"Always."