I'm sorry for starting so many new fics- oh, actually, I'm not. Disclaimer: I don't own MM but cheritz...consider this...saeran deserves to be happy!
The day he first met her was a day like any other, but perhaps slightly worse in terms of circumstances. His mother had been raging all day due to her payment being late. At one point, she had started throwing her empty beer bottles at him, causing him to hide in his room.
While he hated being stuck inside the small space, it was safe there. The bookshelf sheltered him from the destructive force that was his mother. With Saeyoung being busy at church, it was his only refuge. With nothing else to do except wait out the storm, he let himself fade into the background, embracing a fragile and uneasy sleep.
Although he usually didn't let himself do any more than doze lightly out of fear of being caught off guard by his mother, he must have slept for longer than usual since the last golden rays of sunshine were shining into the room. The moment he fully regained consciousness, he realized he was woken up because of a scratching noise coming from just outside his window.
Carefully crossing the room, he opened it just enough to peer out. The light was intense, but as soon as he was acclimated, he looked down to see...a girl?
"W-what are you doing!?" Rough and timid from disuse, his words were more like a whispered shout, yet the dirty child clinging to the side of his house must have heard him anyway. Her eyes- a bright green which seemed to glow in the accented light of the sunset -snapped up to his face, filled with panic.
"I'm sorry! I-I didn't-!" He realized she was just barely clinging on to the windowsill and his chest tightened with panic. It was at least a ten-foot drop from where she was hanging, and if she fell, the result would be bad. "P-please! Help me!" Saeran saw tears in the corners of her eyes and quickly reached for her wrists. Bracing his feet against the wall, he leaned back and pulled.
The two of them went tumbling back into his room, collapsing on the floor with a thud. Saeran sucked in a sharp breath and squeezed the girl in his arms as he listened for the sound of his mother's footsteps. Upon not hearing anything out the ordinary, he relaxed and released her from his clutch. While she was regaining her bearings, Saeran took a moment to inspect the peculiar stranger.
She had wavy red hair and green eyes that held a ring of gold at their center. They were both unusual features that hinted she wasn't from here, but then again, he'd never seen any other people besides his mother and twin.
Once she'd recovered from their short fall, Saeran once again found himself with his arms full as she pulled him into a hug.
"T-thank you! Thank you thank you thank you-!" Hastily throwing his hands over her mouth, his eyes flicked back towards the door as he listened for his mother's presence once more. Letting out a sigh of relief when he realized that they still hadn't been noticed, he focused back on the girl.
"You're welcome, but I need you to be quiet. Can you do that for me?" She nodded sharply and he slowly pulled his hands away. "I'm sorry for that, but if my mother finds you here, it'll be...bad, for both of us."
"Sorry, sorry..." Her voice was softer than before and laced with concern. "Is she mean to you?" Saeran felt a pang of something in his chest at her words.
"I," He paused. He'd never experienced any sort of gentleness from his mother that he could remember. He supposed she must have cared for him at some point, otherwise, he would have never survived infancy. But once he'd started getting sick, her drunken gaze had always been filled with anger when focused on him. "Yes... So, please be careful." She put a finger to her lips and made a tiny shushing motion.
"Got it. Thank you again. I probably would have been in really bad shape if I fell." She played with her hands for a moment before looking back up at him. "Is there anything I can do to repay you?" Shaking his head, he couldn't help the small smile that appeared on his face.
"Unless you can somehow get my mother to stop being so mad, I don't think so." He hadn't been expecting her to brighten up at his request, pressing her palms together with delight.
"Oh, I can do that!"
"W-wait, what?" She smiled at him before standing up and brushing off her clothes.
"Yep, it'll only take a minute. Why? Did you change your mind?"
"N-no, I just...Are you sure? I don't want her to come up here and throw you out." The 'or worse' was left unspoken, but she looked determined regardless.
"Just let me try! What's the worst that could happen?" Lost for words, he simply watched as she cleared her throat and closed her eyes as an enchanting melody began to drift past her lips. It felt like an aura of serenity was being projected throughout the whole house. He immediately felt drowsy. His eyelids fluttered while his body relaxed until he was slumped over on the floor. He must have fallen asleep because before he knew it, he was being pulled out of his slumber by his excitable twin.
"Hey, hey, Saeran!" Clarity returning to his mind, Saeran's head snapped up from the pillow he'd been lying on- just when had that gotten there? -as he looked up into eyes of his brother. "What happened to you and mom? When I got back you two were both sleeping like rocks. I even managed to grab some food for you, too!" Saeran listened carefully for his mother's angry ranting. Shockingly, there was no noise at all.
"I- she actually did it..." Saeran rubbed his eyes and let Saeyoung pull him up to his feet and press a few pieces of bread and fruit into his hands.
"What are you talking about? Who's she?" He pointed to the window while taking a bite out of the stale pastry, his mind still hazy with sleep.
"The...there was a girl, and she was, uh, hanging from the window. So I rescued her and she put me and mom to sleep..." Were he more coherent, he would have noticed his twin giving him an odd look.
"Okay, I think someone needs to go back to bed." Too tired to bother with protesting, Saeran let himself be directed towards the sparse mattress he usually slept on. With both of the boys being preoccupied, neither of them noticed the solitary red feather or note resting on the windowsill.
'Thank you again for saving me. I hope I can see you again sometime.'
•••
In all honesty, Saeran wasn't expecting to see her again. He'd admit that the mystery girl had intrigued him. Her sudden appearance and just-as-sudden disappearance left him with so many questions that he was sure he'd never have answered. After all, why would anyone come back to this place?
Despite all his rationalizing, he still tried not to lament her loss too badly. If, he told himself, she came back, he'd take the time to get to know her better.
So after nearly a month of slowly coming to terms with the fact that she might never return, he couldn't help but feel shocked when he heard a light tapping coming from the window. He approached it hesitantly, not wanting to get his hopes up. Opening the window and looking down, he frowned as he realized there was no one there. Then, he felt a light tap on the back of his head.
"Hiya! Look up here!" Spinning around and nearly hitting himself in the face, he craned his neck upward and spotted the same girl, leaning off the edge of the roof.
"W-what are you doing up there!?" Even though his voice was quiet, he was channeling as much urgency into it as possible. He couldn't save her if she fell from the roof! "Get down! You could get hurt!" Brushing his concerns aside, she gestured for him to move away and he stepped back just far enough for her to lower herself and slide into his room. His arms automatically went around her before he realized just what he was doing and pulled away, his cheeks redder than his hair.
"Aww, you do care!" Her laugh was cute, but that didn't distract him from what he'd just witnessed.
"I saved you from falling last time, but that doesn't mean I want to make a habit out of it..." Instead of looking apologetic, she simply smiled at him, prompting him to look away. "How did you get onto the roof anyway?" Lightly bouncing over to his bed, she sat down and patted the empty space next to her. Sighing with resignation, he moved to sit beside her and hoped that the color in his face was going down.
"Well, I'm technically not supposed to tell you," She leaned in conspiratorially and lowered her voice to a whisper. "But you really helped me out, so I guess I can let you in on the secret." When she scooted back, Saeran could see the expectant energy in her body. She took a few short breaths before bracing her hands against the bed.
"Okay, are you ready?" Nodding once, she let out a soft squeak of excitement before throwing her arms open wide.
"I, am a Phoenix!"
There were a few moments of silence, punctuated only by the sound of Saeran's mother talking loudly on the phone with someone and the whistling of the wind.
"What's a phoenix?" Her soft groan of disappointment almost made him feel apologetic at his lack of knowledge.
"What? I had all that build up for nothing? I waited all month to tell you because I was so sure you wouldn't believe me but you don't even know what I am-!" She cut off her rant with a harsh sigh before smiling stiffly at him. "It's a kind of bird. We're birds. Sometimes we're on fire? Know anything like that?" Actually, he did. Gesturing for her to stay on the bed, he crawled over to the bookshelf and pulled out one of his and Saeyoung's various mythology books.
Sitting back down next to her, he opened it up and flipped through it until the familiar picture of a large avian colored orange and gold appeared on a page. Holding it out to her, he watched her eyes brighten with recognition.
"Like this...?" Her beaming smile had his heart leaping into his throat.
"Yes! That's what we look like. When we're birds, anyway. That day you saved me from falling off your window? I was practicing my flying." She let out a sheepish laugh. "I'm, uh, not very good at it." Saeran gave her a confused look.
"But, wait, if you're a bird where are your..." He made a flapping gesture with his arms and she giggled.
"My wings?"
"Yeah, those!" She held her hands out towards him, palms up.
"Here, give me your hands." Looking back, he could remember how hesitant he was in listening to her instructions, but it had led to one of the most pivotal moments in his life. The moment his hands were clasped between both of her smaller ones a sudden warmth flooded through his whole body, chasing away the constant cold that usually inhabited his sickly form. Then, right before his eyes, a golden pair of downy wings with flecks of red and brown spread out from behind the girl in front of him. He gasped and nearly threw himself back against the floor before she caught his wrists, gently pulling him back up. When she let go, the wings remained in his vision. They were the same height as her, with the ends of her feathers bent a little from where they were dragging on the mattress and floor.
"I-I'm not-" He gasped and struggled for an answer. "You weren't kidding...you really are a bird." Before he knew it, his hands were subconsciously drifting forward to touch the fuzzy looking appendages. She simply giggled and turned around slightly so she could extend one towards him.
"It's okay, you can touch. I promise I won't set you on fire." He was too focused on gently stroking her primaries to pay much attention to her words.
"If I wasn't looking at them right now, I probably wouldn't believe you. But they're right here. Why- how are you real?" His already quiet voice had gone near silent with wonder.
"That- um... That's actually not a very happy story, but I can tell you sometime if you still want to hear it." She suddenly turned her gaze back down to where her hands were worrying one of her feathers between her fingers. Saeran filed away her reaction for later and returned his focus to her wings.
"So, how do you hide him? Do you have to keep them from bumping into things?" Her expression lifted the moment he changed the subject.
"Actually, I don't know! My brother told me it's because of the glamour-" She gasped and all but leaped off the bed in the direction of the window. "My brother! I was supposed to be home before sundown! I'm sorry but I have to go-!" He followed her to the window and watched anxiously as she climbed out and stood on the edge. She took a moment to look back at him as she spread her wings in preparation.
"Is it- is it okay if I come back here sometime?" Saeran blinked at the question. She actually wanted to come back, willingly?
"Yes! I mean, I'd, um, I'd like the company..." He was once again struck by just how nice she looked when she smiled.
"Great! See you soon!" Then she was crouching and jumping off the windowsill, her brilliant wings keeping her aloft just enough so that she wouldn't break her legs upon touching the ground. His heart caught in his throat when he noticed her stumble when landing, but it was quickly washed away with relief when she turned around and gave him a wave and a thumbs up. Giving her his own shaky wave, he watched her vanish behind the tree line.
After closing the window, he crawled back over to the mattress and pressed his face into the spring-padded fabric and started laughing quietly. He'd saved the life of an actual phoenix.
When Saeyoung got home, he found Saeran still giggling to himself in bed.
•••
It was less than a week later that he once again found himself opening his window to let her into his room. This time, he could plainly see the wings sprouting from between her shoulder-blades and his mind swam.
"So it...wasn't a dream then?" Upon noticing where his eyes were focused, she smiled.
"Nope. Not a dream. I'm a phoenix and I have wings. Need another reality check?" Realizing she was playing with him, he shook his head.
"No, no, I'm good. It's just," He reached out to trace the edge of one of her wings with his fingertips. "I thought I might have made it all up. But you're here and they're right in front of me." Suddenly his throat felt tight. "I feel...really lucky, to know you that is." The two of them moved to sit on the floor and he felt her hands gently curl around his.
"You know, you wouldn't be the first to doubt yourself. It's alright." Saeran stiffened at her touch and forced his gaze downward.
"I just don't understand why you came back..."
"What? You said I could-" He pulled his hands away from hers before letting himself intertwine their fingers instead.
"I know, but I mean, why would you want to spend time here? With me? Willingly!" He'd tried to rationalize it in his time alone, but so far, had come up with no plausible reason for it. For such an extraordinary being to return to this tiny house in the middle of nowhere just to visit a sickly boy like himself made no sense.
"Is that what you're worried about?" She sighed, and he realized that the tension she'd been previously holding on to faded from her posture as she bowed her head. "Well, after last time I decided it would be a good idea to stay close. I mean- you helped me out, but unlike me, you're stuck in a bad situation." Somewhere in the back of his mind, Saeran wondered when he'd become so comfortable around this girl who he'd only met twice. "I know I don't have to, but I've never had a f-friend before and, I- uh," She stumbled over her words and he felt her hands tremble in his gentle grip.
"I...wanted to be yours. I-if you'd let me, that is." He couldn't see her expression, but he could feel her shaking increase. Although he could consider Saeyoung as his only friend, that was due more to his forced isolation than any problems he had with talking to people. Being weak made him more of a burden, so he'd never gotten the chance to socialize like his brother had. But this girl, who had known him for such a short amount of time in comparison, was showing him more kindness than he'd ever thought possible from another person.
"I don't...know how to be someone's friend." Her tremors stopped and he could instantly feel her mood drop as he scrambled to finish. "But- but if you really want to try with me, then, I think I could learn." Her eyes snapped up to meet his and he couldn't help the smile that bloomed on his face as her delighted expression chased away the remaining chill in the room.
"So...what do friends do?" He paused at her question. All the knowledge he had about how to interact with other people had come from books.
"Um, they talk to each other?" A rush of warmth overcame him when she laughed. Laughing was always good, right?
"That's a given, but what do we talk about?" Saeran thought for a second.
"We could...get to know each other better?" She sat up and moved a bit closer at that, her feathers bristling with anticipation.
"Sounds good! I'll start?" He didn't even have a chance to respond as she jumped right into the conversation. "First off, I'm twelve years old!" She looked so proud of herself, but her expression quickly cut to indignity when Saeran gave a quick snort of disbelief.
"Wait, what? Really? I thought you were my age!"
"How old are you?"
"Thirteen." She gawked at him.
"Wha-! That's not fair! You're shorter than me!" Saeran bristled.
"Hey! I'll be taller than you someday."
"Haha, as if! My kind is closest to the sun, so you humans need to stay small and near to the ground like proper earth-dwellers."
"Wait, if you're a phoenix, does that mean you can turn all the way into a bird? With like, a beak and talons and stuff?"
"Of course I can!" He held in his laugh as he noticed her offended squint.
"So then, why haven't you?" She grimaced.
"My true form is a lot bigger than you'd expect. When I'm fully grown I'll be the same size as an- uh," He watched amusedly while she struggled to find the right word. "A plane! I'll be the same size as one of those small planes that rich people use! The really fast ones." Saeran tried to remember just what kind of vehicle she was describing before a memory of reading a book on transportation leaped to the forefront of his mind.
"A private jet? Just how big are you now?" She hastily scanned the room with her eyes, a pensive look on her face, before she focused back on him.
"If I stretched my wings out all the way, I probably wouldn't be able to fit them in this room."
"But that has to be over ten feet long! You must be huge!" Saeran stifled a laugh as her cheeks lit up.
"Compared to the others, I'm pretty small actually." She squeezed him lightly before covering her face with her hands. "I hope that one day, I can take you flying with me. You'd love it." Now it was his turn to blush.
"Flying? Really? I-" He paused to try and imagine what it would be like to fly like a bird. Free, without any sort of restraints. Just the two of them and the wide open sky. "I would love it."
"Okay then! I'll make sure I grow up big enough to carry you on my back. We could fly anywhere in the world with no one to stop us." Saeran couldn't help the smile that stretched across his face.
"I have to come up with some way to repay you then, but I don't know what I'd give you..."
"You don't have to do that! Being your friend is enough for me." A noise of surprise escaped his throat and he hurried to cover up his embarrassed flush. He hadn't even known her for two whole days and he was already acting like this.
The two of them continued talking until the sounds of someone coming towards the room caught their attention. Saeran recognized his twin's concerned voice immediately and gently pushed his new friend away from him.
"That's my brother, you need to go before he sees you-!" Although he didn't really have a good reason for not wanting Saeyoung to meet her, there was some part of him that wanted her to be his secret alone. "You'll- you'll come back again, right?" Once she'd recovered from the sudden separation, she swooped back in for one more hug before standing up.
"I'll always come back to you, okay?" It was a lofty promise to keep, but in that moment, he believed her. Then she was diving out of his window, her wings taking her even further than before as she glided all the way out of sight.
Even as Saeran's twin entered the room, words of enthusiasm and encouragement filling the air, his mind was far away as a sudden thought came into his mind.
He didn't even know her name.
•••
The next time he saw her, it was due to his mother. To any rational person, the idea of going out of one's way and wasting time on causing someone pain, especially when that someone was a child, would be considered ludicrous. But, of course, his mother was not a rational person. She saw Saeran as both a way of getting money and as an outlet for her frustrations.
As soon as she got her hands on a bottle, Saeran knew that he had a very limited amount of time before the screams and shouts resumed and he would be forced to either hide or suffer his mother's wrath. On this day, he couldn't even depend on his brother to protect him due to the fact that Saeyoung was healthy enough to attend church, leaving himself vulnerable.
Now he was locked outside, tied to a post located just beside the house. The lead was long enough to let him wander only a few feet away, while the knots and rope were too strong for him to break or untie. It wouldn't be so bad, except for the fact that it was also cold and windy outside.
He was only dressed in a thin shirt and shorts which were a weak defense against the elements. He also knew that his twin wouldn't be home for several more hours, so there were no chances of his brother coming to his rescue this time. Alone and forced to withstand frigid temperatures, Saeran had pulled his knees up to his chest and resigned himself to a possible fate of being left to freeze and die.
Saeran supposed that if he had any regrets, it was that he'd never gotten the phoenix girl's name. She was a bright light in his admittedly bleak thirteen years of existence. She was the only person besides his brother to show him any sort of kindness and if he really thought about it, then maybe, when he was older, he might have even wanted something else from her.
Unfortunately, those dreams were far away now. He could barely feel his arms and legs as it was. He wondered if his mother would mourn for him if he died. Perhaps, at most, she'd mourn the loss of her monthly payment. He knew Saeyoung would be heartbroken, but it might even be the push his brother would need to finally leave their toxic household. Closing his eyes, he prepared to drift away into oblivion, but to his surprise, he felt neither the frosty claws of death or the sting of loneliness, but the sensation of soft feathers brushing against his arm. When he looked up, gold met green, and Saeran realized that she'd come back to him.
"I'm assuming by the rope thing around your leg that you're not out here for fun..." Skipping the greeting and going right towards the heart of the matter, he let her pull him into a gentle embrace. "I'd offer to burn the rope off for you, but that might be a bit hard to explain to your family. Want me to keep you warm until she lets you back in?" Wrapping his own arms around her in turn, he got close enough for her to get her wings all the way around his body, surrounding him with soothing warmth.
"Y-yes p-please..." His teeth were still chattering, but he could already feel her heat starting to chase the cold away. Resting his head on her shoulder, she let him bury himself further into her touch in an attempt to get as cozy as possible. "W-what are y-you d-doing h-h-ere?"
"I wanted to see you!" He couldn't see her face, but her arms only curled further around him. "Just...not like this, though. Your mother, she's terrible."
"There's nothing I can do about that. If I wasn't so weak then maybe-" The sensation of her squeezing his middle sharply turned the rest of his words into a garbled squeak.
"Don't think of yourself that way! You're strong. You've held on despite everything she's thrown at you for all this time, so you can't give up now, okay?" Her voice broke on the last word and Saeran couldn't help but feel bad for worrying her like this.
"I'm sorry, I'll try not to. I guess I've gotten more used to being called worthless than I thought."
"I wish there was something I could do to help." Feeling the last of the deadly chill seep out of his bones, Saeran let himself nuzzle her shoulder lightly.
"Well, we're technically even on those terms, since you just saved me from freezing to death. I guess that makes us equal." She huffed, but he could hear the amusement in her voice.
"I hope that doesn't mean you'll try to get rid of me now." Despite the circumstances, he couldn't help but laugh.
"Never, I've gotten too used to your rambling!"
The two of them sat together, cocooned in her wings until the tell-tale sounds of someone approaching the house reached their ears. Although she was reluctant to depart, they both knew that it was coming sooner or later. He gave her one last hug, then she was running away from the scene and vanishing into the forest with a flurry of red and gold feathers trailing from her back. When his brother finally crested the hill and spotted Saeran sitting on the ground, still tied up, he gave a cry of dismay before rushing to untie him. While Saeyoung busied himself with working to remove the rope from around his ankle, Saeran's mind was once again wandering back to the place where he had watched her disappear.
He'd forgotten to ask for her name again.
•••
Although his phoenix had saved him from a slow death in the cold, the effects of being left outside for some time still lingered. He had gotten sick from the overexposure, leaving him bedridden for several days. Despite his illness, there was no reprieve from his mother's harsh mistreatment.
She was deliberately keeping Saeyoung away from the house now. Her excuse was that he was old enough to be trusted with more responsibilities, meaning she could send him out on more errands and meaningless tasks in order to make sure he wouldn't be able to help Saeran.
There wasn't much that he could do about the situation either. He had once again been tied to the sparse metal frame that held up his mattress. Just when he thought he would be free of such things, he now had to get used to the sensation of his ankle chafing whenever he moved.
The lead was just barely long enough for him to even reach the window, which proved to be a problem when a familiar tapping on the glass surface had him desperately stretching in order to open it. He had his leg fully extended, and even then, it still took several minutes for him to crack the window open just enough so that the bird-girl waiting outside could pry it apart herself.
Despite being trapped inside the small space, Saeran was quite happy to see her, and he was even happier when he realized what she was carrying in her arms as she slid into the room, feet gently setting themselves down on the floor as to not make any loud noises.
"Saeran! I got you some food!" In her arms was a basket full of an array of baked goods and fruits. "I don't know what you like so I just got whatever I thought looked good. If you tell me what your favorites are maybe I can try and get them for you next time?" He was stunned. Not only had she brought him food, but she'd also offered to do it again. The sheer volume of edibles she was holding was more than he'd ever seen in person at once. Saeyoung had shown him pictures of great feasts in the books they read together, but he never would've thought that he'd get to experience one of his own.
Before he knew it, his eyes were filling with tears and he was reaching out for her. She hastily set the basket aside and moved forward to fit herself against him. Once again, he was encompassed in warmth and the feeling of complete safety before pulling away.
"T-thank you so much," He couldn't help the stutter in his voice as his emotions caught up with his mind. He watched her eyes narrow at the thin line of cord keeping him tethered to his bed.
"No problem, hey," She kneeled down next to his ankle and picked up the leash in her hands. "Do you think she'd remember putting this on you later after waking up?" Catching on to her meaning quickly, he shook his head. His mother hardly ever remembered just what kinds of punishments she'd inflicted on him afterward. Grinning at him for a moment, he watched as her eyes focused intently on the knotted section between her hands and forced himself not to jump when a short burst of flame illuminated the room.
It was over in under a second, with the charred ends of the newly severed cord crumbling away to ash. She repeated the process with the other knot around the leg of the bed before startling Saeran by thoroughly reducing the remainders to coal and eating them.
"I- wh- what was that? Why did you eat them!?" His voice might have gone a little over the top at the end, but she simply brushed him off.
"It's not good to waste energy. Eating what's left keeps the furnace strong." She giggled softly and pulled the forgotten basket back in front of her before handing him a pear. "And speaking of eating, that's something you should be doing right now. Just remember not too fast. You'll get sick." Saeran bit into the soft fruit, savoring the sweet flavor.
"I can't imagine how much this must have cost..." She picked up a piece of bread and Saeran jerked backward as a short plume of flame suddenly engulfed the slice in her hand before extinguishing itself just as fast. He watched, fascinated, as she bit into the now blackened object, the distinct smell of burnt toast wafting through the air.
"It was nothing! I told the family I've been staying with about you and they gave me permission to bring this stuff to you." His eyes widened even as she continued to eat. "They're pretty well off, so money isn't an issue if that's what you're worried about."
"No, I..." He paused for a moment. "You talk like they aren't related to you."
"Well, they aren't, that's why."
"Oh." The room lapsed into silence as Saeran finally bit into his pear, savoring the sweet flavor. "But, you said you had a brother?" She beamed at him.
"Yes! He's my caretakers' son, but he told me I can call him my big brother if I want to. He's been teaching me all about our culture since his parents will be leaving soon and-" Saeran held up his hand to stem the flood of words that would undoubtedly start pouring from her mouth if he let them.
"Ah, wait, leaving? Why would they leave?" Saeran wished his mother would just up and leave them someday, but apparently, he and his brother were too valuable for that.
"Oh right, you're not a phoenix. You see, when we come of age, it's customary for us to either 'leave the nest' so to speak, or we claim it for our own. His parents are the restless artist type, so as soon as he's of age, they're going to go off and experience the world." She hummed absently as she took another piece out of her blackened bread. "A lot changes in a hundred years and they'd like to see it all again."
"That means you'll be alone soon?"
"No, he's going to look after me once they leave. Since my parents aren't...here, he's promised to take their place." Just listening to her, Saeran could tell she cared a lot about the man who would soon be her guardian. It reminded him of himself and Saeyoung.
"So, what about your birth family?" She stilled in the middle of taking another bite and her eyes filled with so much pain that Saeran immediately regretted his words.
"They're...not around anymore." Her head drooped and he set his fruit to the side so he could hug her again.
"I'm sorry..."
"It's alright, it isn't your fault anyway."
"Can... can I ask how they...?" The room was silent for a moment before she crammed the remainder of the blackened bread into her mouth and sighed.
"I don't- I don't remember a lot of what happened. I know it was raining, and that's bad enough, but we were...I think we were flying over the ocean, and at...at some point my mom got too tired and she started flying lower, but that isn't safe because the waves, they can get really big." He looked down at her hands and Saeran could see them shaking. "My dad brought me to shore and he told me to wait because he had to go back for her and-" She choked on a sob and a pang of remorse echoed in his chest.
"T-they drowned...they both drowned." She curled in on herself and Saeran hesitantly moved forward to bring his arms around her, gasping with relief as she leaned into his touch.
When she finally calmed down enough to resume eating, a somber atmosphere had already chased the previously lighthearted mood away. The room felt colder and the distressed look on her face made Saeran feel like he wanted to shrink into nothingness. Crawling over to the basket, he pulled out another slice of bread and held it in front of her.
"Hey..can you show me that fire thing again?" Looking up, she plucked the slice out of his fingers.
"Yeah, sure." The flames were even shorter this time, actually toasting the bread to a level that might be considered edible to people. She gave it back to him and watched as he tentatively nibbled at the crust before taking a sizable bite out of it and sighing with pleasure. "If you think that's good, just wait until you actually try a proper pastry." She giggled lightly as his reaction and he couldn't stop the blush from appearing on his face.
"S-sorry. I'm just not used to," He gestured to the near-overflowing basket of food. "All this." She frowned at him.
"If it's so bad...why don't you leave?"
"And go where?" It wasn't like he and Saeyoung hadn't talked about it before, but without money or a place to stay, they were trapped.
"I don't know..." A thoughtful look overcame her face. "I'll ask my brother. Maybe he can come up with something." Something in Saeran twisted as she spoke but he shoved the feeling out of his mind, not wanting to bring the depressing mood back.
"He sounds really nice."
"He is! I'm sure if I explain it, he can figure out some way to help you." She looked so optimistic in that moment, he wanted her to keep that expression for as long as possible. Yet, despite the lovely sentiment, he still couldn't convince himself that things would turn out as nicely as she hoped.
•••
Saeran didn't remember how long it was until her next visit. After she left, he'd hidden the remainder of the food she'd given him beneath his bed. It was the only thing keeping him from completely starving during the long absences without his twin. Saeyoung came by to drop off what he could spare and to also spend time with his brother, but lately, it felt like he was spending even more time away from the house. Saeran couldn't blame him for it. After all, his mother was still doing her best to separate them, and yet the loss was palpable. Without his brother there to divert their mother's attention, he was often in her focus whether he wanted to be or not. The pain that chased him even into his own dreams made it difficult to sleep, and every day, there was a new array of bruises constantly blooming across his shoulders.
His birthday passed with little fanfare, but the evening the bird-girl returned to his window had him scrambling out from his hiding place behind the dresser and all but throwing open the blinds. The moment she was fully inside the building he had his arms around her, holding on for dear life.
"You're back..." She returned his embrace and he couldn't help but flinch when her hands brushed against the sore spots on his back.
"I said I would be, didn't I?" A soft whimper echoed through the room when she set her palms on his shoulders. "I must not be coming back often enough, though. She did this to you?" Inhaling sharply, he nodded his head.
"My brother hasn't been around as much recently. She's been taking advantage of that." She gave him a worried frown.
"But, he should be here looking after you, shouldn't he? Why do you still let her treat you like this?
"I-I'm not strong enough to stop her." Saeran had always been a sickly child, and the constant neglect and abuse did nothing to help that fact. Her face settled on a look of determination before she was suddenly directing him over to his bed, kneeling over his legs and maneuvering him onto his stomach. He shook when he felt her fingers slip under his shirt and trace the bruises littering his spine.
"...There's so many of them." Saeran didn't trust himself to speak after hearing the sadness in her voice, opting to rest his chin on his arms instead while trying to hold in his soft cries of pain. "Let me see if I can-" A short gasp escaped from his mouth when a tingling warmth started radiating from where she was touching him. Slowly and gradually, the pain and soreness receded and all that was left was a pleasant heat.
"H-hey, it doesn't hurt anymore!" Her palms skimmed over his sides and he couldn't help the slight laugh it caused before he turned around and suddenly got a face full of curly red hair as she pressed her face into his collarbone. "What's wrong?" She sniffled and he rolled them over onto their sides, arms immediately finding their way around each other's waists.
"Whats wrong!? Everything! Your mother shouldn't be hurting you but she does anyway and I can't stop her and I hate seeing you hurt." Her sobs were muffled against his chest and although she'd soothed his aches and pains, hearing her cry was hurting him in a completely different way. "The worst part is that there's nothing I can do to protect you! I- I feel like I'm not doing enough to help..." He pulled her further into his embrace and tentatively let one of his hands tangle in her hair.
"Don't put yourself down so much. You help me plenty just by being here."
"But, I'm not always around! I mean- I've only seen you a few times as it is. I'm terrified that I'll come by someday and you won't be here because..."
Because his mother would have killed him. Neither of them said it but the meaning was obvious. The sorrow in her voice only made him want to hold her closer. He was terrified of his mother's anger, but he was even more afraid of how the girl in his arms would feel if he died said woman's 'care'. Unfortunately, there wasn't much he could do about his situation.
"I'm sorry, you shouldn't have to deal with these kinds of things. If I was stronger then mother wouldn't need to take everything out on me. Maybe I could even go out with Saeyoung too..." She didn't respond to him, but her sniffles were still audible. "If- if it isn't too much trouble, could...could you stay tonight? Just until I fall asleep?" Eventually, he could feel one of her wings move to curl around him.
"I don't think I'll be able to come back here again for a while." His shock at her words chased away the first tendrils of sleep from his mind.
"W-what? Why not?"
"My brother's parents left just a few days ago and he wanted to go on a trip. He's a photographer, so we'll be going someplace far away. Then when we get back, he's going to start looking for a place to set up his territory. Since I'm officially his ward, I have to go with him. I'm sorry..." She started hiccuping and all he could do was lightly stroke her back in an attempt to comfort her.
"Don't worry too much, okay? I've lasted this long. I can hold on for as long as it takes until you come home." His heart lodged itself in his throat the moment he realized just what he'd said.
"Home...? I've never really had one of those before." She shifted slightly so she could look up at him, and Saeran frowned as he took in the tear marks on her face. "I guess that makes you my home, doesn't it?" She made a weak laugh and then her face was back against his shoulder.
"If I'm yours, then you're mine." With that, he finally let himself relax against her. Surrounded by soft feathers and her light touch, Saeran could feel his head fog over with asleep.
He hadn't expected her to be there when he woke up, but the pang of loss in his chest still hurt in the morning.
•••
She had said she would be gone for a while, but truth be told, after that night he barely even noticed her absence. He was too preoccupied with doing his best not to give his mother a reason to harm him. Sneaking food out of the kitchen while she was on the phone and hiding in the house's various crawlspaces was his new way of surviving now that Saeyoung had seemingly vanished into thin air. At one point, he simply didn't return from one of his outings. Saeran was trying to hold on to the idea that his brother would return, but as time went on, he felt increasingly more anxious about what had happened to his twin. He'd either finally found a way out and took it the first chance he got, or something terrible had happened. If it was the former, then Saeran was hopeful that Saeyoung would return eventually, but if it was the latter...
One day, two people showed up at the house while his mother was in the middle of a drunken shouting match with the phone. He'd been tied to the table and unable to sit down, forced to endure her screams and threats as she waved her empty bottle above his head. The knocks had distracted her long enough to relax for a second, and when she'd opened the door, he caught a glimpse of two incredibly gorgeous people standing on the front step.
The woman had long flowing blonde hair, like rays of sunshine spilling over her shoulders. The man had hair the color of the wide open sky, and the kindest eyes he'd ever seen. Those same eyes immediately became pinched the moment he saw Saeran. The two of them spoke softly enough that he couldn't hear them, but while his mother was preoccupied talking with the woman, the man quickly and quietly made his way to his side and began untying him.
"A little bird told me about your predicament. My girlfriend and I came to help you..." Tears were jumping into his eyes even as he was gently pulled towards the door. His mother's glare caused him to hide behind the man further, thankful that he didn't mind when Saeran did his best to use his arm to cover himself up. "Ma'am, as you know, we're both quite well known in this community, and if we were to bring up a case of abuse to the authorities, they'd have no reason to doubt us. Even less so when the evidence is," He gestured to Saeran with his free arm. "Incredibly obvious."
"Oh yes, it would be a shame to relocate such a charming young man from his mother..." The words flowing out of the sunshine woman's mouth were melodic, with a hint of seriousness buried under her smiling face. "If you let us take him to school, then I'm sure there won't be a need for such things, hmm?" For once in his life, Saeran watched his mother at a loss for words. It only lasted a few seconds before she was snarling once more, saying that they could do whatever they wanted with him as long as they brought him back at the end of the day. For who could have a use for such a worthless child anyway-
"Hey, still with me?" A kind voice jolted him out of his own thoughts as he looked up into clear cerulean eyes. "I don't think I had a chance to introduce myself earlier, but my name is V. Rika- that's my girlfriend -went on ahead without us." Saeran just noticed that the blonde (Rika) had already gone and he was now being directed by V to walk towards the town.
"I- thank you... I can't believe I'm free!" This was his first time actually leaving the house. His heart soared. V gave a short laugh as they crested the hill.
"Yes, well, it's only a temporary solution until we can find a way to relocate you properly, but having you out of her range for most of the day is a good start, don't you think?" Saeran could only nod enthusiastically before something that V had said earlier came back into focus in his mind.
"Earlier, you said a...bird told you about me. Are you her brother?" To his credit, V's stride didn't even pause as they made their way down the slope.
"Does this bird have red hair? Green eyes? A penchant for rambling when she gets worked up?"
"Yes, yes, definitely yes."
"Then that does seem to be her. Indeed, I'm her adopted brother." Saeran almost jumped for joy.
"That means you can tell me her na-"
"There you two are, I thought I lost you! Come along! We've still got to get Saeran enrolled." Rika was waiting for them at the base of the hill, yet she spared no time as she was already on the move before even finishing her words. V smiled and an endearing look swept across his face before he was turning his gaze back to Saeran.
"I'm sorry, you were saying something?"
"Uh- how does she know my name?" As they approached the church, V took on a neutral expression.
"Your brother told us. He used to come to church here on the weekends." Saeran felt his heart jump in his chest.
"Saeyoung-! Do you know what happened to him? He stopped coming home a while ago and I don't know where he is..." For a second it looked like V had something he desperately wanted to say, but it went by so fast that Saeran might have imagined it.
"Please forgive me, but I have no idea of your brother's whereabouts. He hasn't been to church in a while, and that was the only location we ever met at. I'm sorry."
"I-I see... so, he's really gone then..." Saeran felt the last remnants of hope crumble away in his chest. "Thank you for telling me. I guess it's better than not knowing-" He choked on his words and when he stumbled, he let himself fall to his knees. Covering his face with his hands, he openly sobbed while V knelt beside him. The two of them sat in the leaves until Saeran had cried himself out completely, his eyes refusing to produce any more tears.
"Sorry- I'm sorry, I just thought-!" A comforting hand came to rest on his shoulder and he let himself lean into V's side. "I thought...he'd come back like always." But now he might never see his brother again. The thought made his heart feel like it was going to shatter.
"No, I should've been paying more attention to this situation from the start. I had assumed that things were getting better from what Saeyoung was telling me. I can see now that I was mistaken." V stood and held out a hand for him to take as well. Once they were both back on their feet and walking again, Saeran was handed a handkerchief. "I can't bring your brother back, but I can invite you to stay with me and my sister during the days after school is out. Until we can find somewhere more permanent, it's the least I can do since you've been such a good friend to her." Replacing the flush from his crying was now an entirely different kind of red. He'd never thought that she might be telling her brother about more than the basics of their relationship.
"I- I'd really like that. Thank you." The smile he received in return was enough to make him look forward to the future for once.