"Do you ever think about soul mates?"
Ziva had leaned against the vending machine and casually, pensively, asked this question. When the words left her mouth, Tony had paused and wondered if she meant what he thought she meant.
Serious route, or deflective route?
He decided to go with deflection. It was his specialty, after all.
"They were on Decca, right? Big hit, mid-70s? Sing a few bars; I'll get it."
It was hard for him to keep such a nonchalant tone of voice, but he did it, because he didn't want to talk about the bigger issue that Ziva seemed to be addressing. Was she, the Mossad ninja chick, really wondering if he was her soul mate?
Not that Tony was opposed to it; the idea made his heart beat a little faster, but he was in no position to think about that right now. The whole Jeanne disaster had done a number on him, and he and Ziva's relationship was already complex enough. This would have to wait.
The second this last thought crossed his mind, Ziva said, half-exasperated, "You'll never get it," pushed off the vending machine, and walked away. Tony stared after her and hoped he would get another chance at this soul mate discussion soon.
"She says you are like a brother to her."
More than three years later, CI-Ray's words cut through Tony like a knife. They physically tug at his heart and leave him standing there in front of the bathroom sink, numb. A brother? Would a brother travel to Somalia to avenge her supposed death? Maybe. Would a brother keep pictures of her in a bikini on his cabin wall during his stint as agent afloat? No. Definitely not.
But he is standing here with Ziva's boyfriend, who says that she does consider him to be nothing more than a brother. The sadness that falls over him makes him want to slump down on the ground and put his head in his hands. Of course, he doesn't do that. He puts on a brave face and tries not to show his true emotions when Ray says, "I'm in love with her."
Only then does Tony realize that he's in love with her, too. These feelings he's been burying for so long… he's known what they are; he's just refused to recognize them, to even think the word love. He is seized by the urge to rush out of the bathroom and find her, to take her in his arms and kiss her and beat Ray to the punch.
That's out of the question. And he knows that. She is happy with Ray; he can't ruin it for her. Because he loves her, and that means doing what's best for her, even when it causes him so much pain.
Looking at Ray, flushed with what he feels for Ziva David, Tony realizes with a sinking feeling that he has missed his chance.
You'll never get it.
I've had such Tiva writer's block lately! Here's something short and quick that will hopefully get my ideas rolling again.
What's everybody think about the new season so far? It's been pretty good, but what's with the lack of Tiva? That's why I wrote this tonight; after the second week of Tony and Ziva barely glancing at each other, I needed something! Lily Tomlin did great as McGee's grandmother, though.
Okay, thanks for reading… review, please? : )