Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor do I make any profit from this.

Naruto sighted and closed his notebook. He was supposed to write a short essay about sex. He had some trouble getting the words down though. It was like, he knew what he wanted to write but somehow he couldn't write it down. Everything Jiraiya-sensei explained to them in class made perfect sense in his mind. Still.. the words wouldn't go past his fingertips.

Quietly leaving the school library he mentally cursed himself for not hunting down someone smart. Like Shikamaru! Yeah, why didn't he just ask the lazy boy while he had the chance? Oh that's right. Naruto hadn't realized he needed help before everyone had gone home. The classes ended hours ago. The halls were all empty. It was easy to forget the time when writing. Before glancing at the clock in the old library, he would have guessed that no more than an hour had floated away. In reality, it was more like three hours but still, he had not written anything good enough to use. Maybe Jiraiya-sensei could help him out? After all, he was the one in charge of sex-ed. Brightening slightly, the blonde started his search for the perverted old man.

Jiraiya was a handsome man in his early fifties. A strong man, and a great teacher. Beside his three-days a week job at Konoha's local high school, he made money as a novelist. Usually he would write his books at home. But this was a special occasion. Well, one of his philosophies were that a man graced with inspiration should deal with it properly! Forgetting a great plot was something close to a crime according to him. This is why he's still sitting in his latest class' homeroom, eagerly writing his fantasies down. Said fantasies were concentrated on one of his students.The boy had been his student since about two years back. His name was Naruto. Unruly blonde hair and big blue eyes. They had a healthy student/teacher relationship. Nothing more, nothing less. But ooh how he liked blondes. Especially the cocky ones, they always screamed when they came.

"Jiraiya-sensei, I need some help."

The old man couldn't believe his luck, he quickly smoothened out his perverted grin and turned around. "Hello, brat. What are you still doing here?"

"I've been in the library. So, you going to help me?" Frowning in annoyance and embarrassment he glared at the teacher.

Jiraiya crossed his arms over his broad chest and leaned against the bench behind him. "With what?"

"The homework you gave us today, sensei."

Which homework did he give them? Was it maybe, inner spicies erotica? Or was it something about pregnancy? Jiraiya was at a loss. "Maybe. What's your problem kid?"

He discreetly made his way over to the front desk.

"The essay." Naruto jumped up on one of the desks.

"The essay, huh?" Shuffling through the papers Jiraiya quickly found what he was looking for. 'The art of love making.' The teacher snickered. "So you've got no clue about sex. Do you?"

"Yes I do! I just don't know how to write it!" Naruto huffed threw an offended glare his way.

Another snicker. "And you want my help?"

"Yes."

"Well then, show me."

"Show you?" Naruto stared stupidly at the man before him.

"Yes. Show me. I'll grade you according to how well you perform." Jiraiya still couldn't believe what a wonderful day it had the potential to be, it looked like the blonde was actually considering it. Heat was already starting to build up in his groin.

"Will it work?," Naruto looked puzzled. "I mean, we're both guys. Wouldn't we need a-..." He trailed off.

"Nope! No vagina needed. I'll show you the best part once we get that far."

AN: tsk-tsk x3 I found a plot bunny on crack the other day and tadaaa JiraNaru AU. The plot bunny himself is dead but I might continue it anyway.

Are there any fans of this pairing at all?...Except for me?