Note: This is another awful story about Dawson´s Creek. Please if you have read the others I wrote and you were offended, don´t, I repeat DON´T READ THIS ONE. YOU´RE WARNED. THIS IS ANOTHER STUPID STORY! Check out the others I wrote about Dawson´s creek! You´ll hate them!
This happens short time before Dawson knows about Pacey & Joey having sex.
SHUT UP, DAWSON!
It was a beautiful morning in the quiet town of Capeside. The birds were singing in the trees, the wind announced the coming of warmer months and the prostitutes from the east part of the village were happy sleeping after a good night work.
Pacey, Jack, Joey, Jen, the ghost of Abby and Grams were all sitting near the lake, enjoying the sun in their filthy skins, drinking Pepsi, eating sadnwiches and listening to Puff Daddy´s latest theft: "Start Yo´Me Up, Bro!". This time Puff Daddy was stealing from the Rolling Stones.
"Look, Children! Enjoy the Lord´s greatest creation: Nature!" said Grams.
"Hey, enough, you old bitch!" Pacey said with anger "I´m trying to touch my girl´s boobs over here if you don´t mind!"
"Hey look!" Jen said. She sounded amazed.
All of them turned and looked at the middle of the lake.
A boat was there. And Dawson Leery was rowing. He stopped and waved at his friends on the shore.
"What is this jerk up to now?" Joey said.
"Hope he will not masturbate like the other time..."
"Jen! Behave!"
"Shut up, Grams! I´m a big girl! I know a lot about touching myself!"
Grams fainted and no one noticed it. Except the rock where her head landed.
Dawson was so happy in the middle of the lake.
"They will be amazed when they see this" he said to himself. He took a microphone and turned on a strange machine he had in the boat. It was like a karaoke machine. But worse.
Much worse.
The first words were so loud that they could be heard at least 30 miles around.
"HEY! EVERYBODY IN CAPESIDE! GOOD MORNIIIIIIIIIINNNGGGGGGGG CAPESIDEEEEEEEE!"
He farted.
"DAMN ME! THAT WAS FUNNY HAS HELL!"
In midtown a driver hit a paperboy. An old lady choked on her own teeth. A dog commited suicide. And all the prostitutes were awake and cursing.
"Hey, Dawson!" Mitch said, who had just arrived and was standing on the shore.
"HI, DAD!" Dawson answered with that awful speaker.
"Don´t Hi-dad me! What the hell do you think you are doing?"
"OH! I DECIDED I WANT TO WORK ON THE RADIO! GOOODDDDDD MORNINGGGGGGGGGG CAPESIDEEE!"
Mitch grabbed his own head.
"My kid is just stupid"
"LET´S TALK ABOUT JEN LINDLEY, CAPESIDE! SHE ENJOYS DRINKING AND SHE ALWAYS WEARS DIRTY UNDERWEAR! MAN TALK ABOUT A SWEATING PUSSY!"
"Son of a bitch!" cried Jen
"AND WHAT ABOUT JOEY? I USED TO LOVE THE LIL´BITCHY, BUT I HATE HER AS MUCH AS I HATE JACK´S FARTS!"
"You mother fucker!" shouted Jack.
"Hey, show some respect, sissy!" said Mitch.
"JOEY HAS A LOT OF HAIR... DOWN THERE YOU KNOW! AND BUGS!"
"She does not!" - Pacey said with anger. He grabbed a rock.
"Hey, Leery!" he said.
"WHAT DO YOU WANT, YOU TWO-FACED BASTAR..."
He could not finish his words. The rock hit in his testicles with the force of a bullet.
"Yeah!" Pacey said "That will teach you to talk about my girl´s hairy place!"
All Capeside heard Dawson´s sad words:
"ARGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH! MY BALLLSSSSSSSSSS! YOU CRAZY LITTLE SHIT! YOU GAY BAST..." Then he fell in the lake. The fishes attacked him with fury. Maybe they mistook him for a huge piece of crap floating on the water.
"My god, Mitch! He will drown!" Grams said after picking up part of her brain.
"Yeah, if were are lucky." - answered Dawson´s father - " I just hope he was not carrying my dope when he fell!"
Everyone laughed, except Dawson. Dawson could not laugh beacause his lungs were full of water and little fishes. He felt his brain dying slowly and he thought it couldn´t get worse than that.
Then the monster of Loch Ness that was on vacation on Capeside´s lake sexually abused him.
THE END!