September 30, 1982
Dear Diary,
This has been, without a doubt, the day from hell, and quite possibly the worst day of my life. You see, Diary, Sumner proposed to me today, and no, that is not the hellish part, though perhaps in retrospect, it was. In any event, after accepting his proposal and riding a euphoric high for approximately one hour, I was eviscerated by increments in the most humiliating manner possible, in front of a room full of strangers in a basement bar. My heart was turned inside out for the amusement of some of the most loutish people I've ever had the misfortune to encounter. Sumner left me. Apparently, the idea of marrying me was not a well-considered life decision made from a deep and abiding love for me, but a momentary flight of fancy which came as easily as it went. He changed his mind about the engagement and unceremoniously ran off with his ex-wife Barbara on our honeymoon, while I sat on a barstool earnestly waiting for him like the fool that I am. I am devastated beyond comprehension.
Diary, the heartbreak of losing Sumner is one thing, but on top of that, I was left bereft of employment or any future prospects whatsoever, and the rent due in a little over a week. Not knowing what on earth I'd do next, I accepted a waitressing position at that very same bar! Yes! I tell you, I still don't know what I was thinking. When the owner of the place offered me the job, I laughed in his handsome face. Yes, he's quite handsome, but very smug—is it wrong that I noticed how handsome he is (among other things) on such a day? More on that another time, I suppose. Anyway, after a while, I guess I came to realize that I really had nowhere else to turn. I couldn't dare go to Mummy, certainly not like this, and I couldn't possibly go on being Sumner's teaching assistant.
Well, perhaps it's the survivor or the rebel in me, but I took the job. Can you imagine Mummy's reaction? Or any of my friends'? I'm utterly humiliated, but at the same time exhilarated by this twist of fate. By completely debasing myself in this way, I've freed myself from all expectations, including my own, and for once, I have no idea what will become of me. It is both terrifying and liberating at the same time.
This opens up a whole new paradigm for me, amongst the working class, doing manual labor. There simply must be a book in this, I'm sure of it. And those cretins in the bar? Well, they really aren't so bad once you engage them a bit. They were actually rather sweet, now that I think about it, especially Sam (the handsome, smug owner I mentioned before). And the bar's name is "Cheers". A good omen, perhaps? Plus, it turns out that I have this preternatural talent for remembering drink orders! Who knew this was one of my gifts? And who knows how many more I've yet to discover?
So Diary, though this day has indeed been a catastrophe of epic proportions, it has also been a small victory for me. My life going forward is in my own hands. Not Mummy or Daddy's, not Sumner's. Mine. Call me a cockeyed optimist, but when all is said and done, this may well turn out to be the very best day of my life.
DC
P.S. Upon further reflection, I think perhaps Sam was right. Sumner is goofy. I'm glad we are Donne. Ha!