Disclaimer: I don't own Bush, he owns himself along with that five-year-old
attitude of his. For all those who disagree with the points made during
this fic, I mean no offence. I am just trying to elucidate something that
should have been realized a long time ago.
Bush Goes to Kindergarten
Chapter One: Late August and September
It was a bright and sunny late August day. All the little kids were on their sleep deprived and bummed out way to school. Including someone who wasn't so little. After deciding that maybe George W. Bush hadn't learned some of the lessons from kindergarten that he should have been able to use later in life (especially as the president) that maybe he aught to go repeat the grade before being allowed to be re-elected. Not wanting to lose his mind-numbing grip on the country for another four years, he agreed to go to Marshmallow Pond's kindergarten for a year to catch up on these "lessons".
Of course none of the kids recognized him as he arrived in his presidential limo. "Wow! Nice car, mister!", one little boy holding a water gun said. "My name is Billy! What's yours?"
"*gasp* Is that a weapon of mass destruction?!"
"It's just a water gun!" Billy shivers in fear as Bush flies into another one of his 'disarm the Iraquis' speeches, even though Billy is not Iraq.
"Limo driver person!!! Run this kid over before he hurts someone with that!!!" Before poor little Billy can react, the huge car is on top of him. Bush picks up the water gun, wipes the blood and guts off of it as the limo drives away and gloats to himself, "Hehehe! Mine now!"
"Good morning class! And welcome to kindergarten!", the teacher said cheerfully as she surveyed the crowd of mostly small students. Except for one. "And it looks like we have a new student today! That gray haired man in the back is George. Everyone say hello!"
"Hi, George.", the class said in haphazard unison.
"Aren't you that nincompoop my daddy is always yelling about?", a little girl whose nametag read "Mary Sue" asked innocently.
"Oh yeah?! Well my daddy can kick your daddy's big fat bum with secret agents!" "Nuh uh! My daddy is a wrestler and he can kick your big fat bum out the window with his bare hands!" Bush stuck his tongue out and she did the same.
"THAT'S ENOUGH!! DETENTION FOR BOTH OF YOU!", the teacher yelled, frustrated that the president of her own country was acting like a five year old. "George, I'm surprised no one discovered your childish behavior earlier! Like when you were president maybe?!"
"There's only so much they let campaign ads show.", Mary Sue said.
"Very good Mary Sue! You don't have detention!"
"Stupid teachers and STUPID kindergarteners!", Bush growled under his breath. "Okay then. If you want to mouth off, you get two!"
August 29, 2003 Dear Diaree,
Detenshun suks. Kindrgarden suks too. Mary Sue called daddy a nincumpoopey and sed her restler daddy cud beet me up. Dam I wish I had somwun to right this four mee. I forgot how to spel.
A/N: So..is this an acceptable idea? Should I continue with it? Please review! And flame if you must, but not just those lame "you suck just because you suck" ones. At least give me a valid reason.
Bush Goes to Kindergarten
Chapter One: Late August and September
It was a bright and sunny late August day. All the little kids were on their sleep deprived and bummed out way to school. Including someone who wasn't so little. After deciding that maybe George W. Bush hadn't learned some of the lessons from kindergarten that he should have been able to use later in life (especially as the president) that maybe he aught to go repeat the grade before being allowed to be re-elected. Not wanting to lose his mind-numbing grip on the country for another four years, he agreed to go to Marshmallow Pond's kindergarten for a year to catch up on these "lessons".
Of course none of the kids recognized him as he arrived in his presidential limo. "Wow! Nice car, mister!", one little boy holding a water gun said. "My name is Billy! What's yours?"
"*gasp* Is that a weapon of mass destruction?!"
"It's just a water gun!" Billy shivers in fear as Bush flies into another one of his 'disarm the Iraquis' speeches, even though Billy is not Iraq.
"Limo driver person!!! Run this kid over before he hurts someone with that!!!" Before poor little Billy can react, the huge car is on top of him. Bush picks up the water gun, wipes the blood and guts off of it as the limo drives away and gloats to himself, "Hehehe! Mine now!"
"Good morning class! And welcome to kindergarten!", the teacher said cheerfully as she surveyed the crowd of mostly small students. Except for one. "And it looks like we have a new student today! That gray haired man in the back is George. Everyone say hello!"
"Hi, George.", the class said in haphazard unison.
"Aren't you that nincompoop my daddy is always yelling about?", a little girl whose nametag read "Mary Sue" asked innocently.
"Oh yeah?! Well my daddy can kick your daddy's big fat bum with secret agents!" "Nuh uh! My daddy is a wrestler and he can kick your big fat bum out the window with his bare hands!" Bush stuck his tongue out and she did the same.
"THAT'S ENOUGH!! DETENTION FOR BOTH OF YOU!", the teacher yelled, frustrated that the president of her own country was acting like a five year old. "George, I'm surprised no one discovered your childish behavior earlier! Like when you were president maybe?!"
"There's only so much they let campaign ads show.", Mary Sue said.
"Very good Mary Sue! You don't have detention!"
"Stupid teachers and STUPID kindergarteners!", Bush growled under his breath. "Okay then. If you want to mouth off, you get two!"
August 29, 2003 Dear Diaree,
Detenshun suks. Kindrgarden suks too. Mary Sue called daddy a nincumpoopey and sed her restler daddy cud beet me up. Dam I wish I had somwun to right this four mee. I forgot how to spel.
A/N: So..is this an acceptable idea? Should I continue with it? Please review! And flame if you must, but not just those lame "you suck just because you suck" ones. At least give me a valid reason.