Disclaimer: Count Chocula, the Trix Rabbit, and Lucky Charms are owned by General Mills (or one of the other cereal companies). I only own the plot and the disclaimer. Pooh.
~Belonkers
Count Chocula, Cereal Killer
By day the Irish pub was a happy place with friendly people. At night, fear was in the hearts of all in the pub. The customers knew when the sun went down he would be coming. Most people left before nightfall, but some people were too wasted to realize the danger they were in. They would have to pay the price.
The doors blew open and leaves fluttered into the pub. The people inside knew the luck of the Irish was not with them on this day. A dark vague figure slowly glided in. One man stood up to run, but as soon he stepped a foot down, the vampire was upon him. His fangs sunk into the pale flesh of the drunkard. The figure did the same to all in the pub until only the bartender was left.
The vampire grabbed the scrawny red head by the neck and asked in a deathly tone,"Where is he?" The bartender gulped down his fear and asked,
"Who is he?" The vampire began to squeeze harder on the skinny neck. He asked again,
"Where is he? The one you call Lucky." The Irishman knew if he answered wrong he would be killed, but even if he answered "right" he would still be killed by the blood-sucking demon.
The bartender kicked the vampire in the face. Instead of losing his grip the vampire tightened it. The man looked up and embraced certain death. Crunch. The man's limp carcass fell to the cold floor. The vampire turned, noticing a small woman hidden in the corner. He walked over to her and said, "I will come again, and again, until the end of time if I must until I find Lucky. If you see him, tell him Count Chocula is watching."
This horrible cycle continued every night for five years. Finally, one night, when the count was out choosing an Irish pub to interrogate, he noticed the bushes rustle beside him. With ferocity he leapt onto the bush. He glanced down to see what he caught. It was a rabbit but not just an ordinary rabbit, it was the Trix Rabbit. The vampire grabbed his neck and began tightening the grip; the rabbit happened to be one of his enemies.
The vampire then noticed something, the rabbit was holding a bloody knife and convulsively vomiting. The count demanded to know what was going on. The rabbit replied,
"See those bodies over there?" The Count glanced over and replied,
"You killed some one, well whoopdedoo for you." The rabbit said,
"Those are the kids that never let me have any of their cereal. I'm puking because I finally got a taste of that Trix cereal and I can't believe I spent my whole life trying to taste that disgusting crap."
The count thought this poor excuse for a rabbit might be of some help. He released his death grip on the rabbit and said,
"You may be a use to me yet. Do you know where the one called Lucky is?" The rabbit said,
"He's at Bennigans downing some rounds." The count looked down on him and said,
"Go get him and don't return until you have his head on a platter." The count reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a small steel scalpel. He said, "here, take this and kill Lucky with it." The rabbit scuttled off to Bennigans. When he walked into the restaurant the whole place went silent. The rabbit quickly spotted Lucky out of the corner of his eye and threw the scalpel. Seeing Lucky was in danger, a large Irishman jumped in the way of the hurling projectile. The scalpel pierced his neck killing him slowly and painfully. Being unarmed in an Irish pub, the rabbit ran back to Count Chocula.
The rabbit found the count heading in the direction of the pub. The rabbit slowed and asked the count what he was doing.
The count replied snidely, "If you want something done, you have to do it yourself." He walked into the restaurant and pulled out a black colt revolver, and took aim on a waitress. The count said, "Lucky, if you don't come out now I'll blow off her head." Lucky stepped out of the crowd. An evil grin appeared on the count's face. He aimed the gun at Lucky.
He then said, "This, is the price of failure." He turned, and shot the rabbit in the head killing him instantly. He aimed the gun back at Lucky and said, "time to die Mr. Charms." All of a sudden, a bright beam of light landed on Count Chocula's forehead. He immediately exploded into ash. Lucky skipped out of the restaurant feeling extra lucky.
As lucky was walking back to his green house, he heard a twig snap, but kept going. He heard some leaves crackle, but paid no attention. Finally, he heard a loud "POP". That was when he knew it was too late, death was upon him. His new foes were ten times worse than the count. Three midget elves dressed in war paint jumped out of the bushes yelling, "Long Live Rice Crispies!" Lucky was killed the instant the poison darts penetrated his blood. He fell to the ground with one last shout of,
"They're after me Lucky Charms!"
END
~Belonkers
Count Chocula, Cereal Killer
By day the Irish pub was a happy place with friendly people. At night, fear was in the hearts of all in the pub. The customers knew when the sun went down he would be coming. Most people left before nightfall, but some people were too wasted to realize the danger they were in. They would have to pay the price.
The doors blew open and leaves fluttered into the pub. The people inside knew the luck of the Irish was not with them on this day. A dark vague figure slowly glided in. One man stood up to run, but as soon he stepped a foot down, the vampire was upon him. His fangs sunk into the pale flesh of the drunkard. The figure did the same to all in the pub until only the bartender was left.
The vampire grabbed the scrawny red head by the neck and asked in a deathly tone,"Where is he?" The bartender gulped down his fear and asked,
"Who is he?" The vampire began to squeeze harder on the skinny neck. He asked again,
"Where is he? The one you call Lucky." The Irishman knew if he answered wrong he would be killed, but even if he answered "right" he would still be killed by the blood-sucking demon.
The bartender kicked the vampire in the face. Instead of losing his grip the vampire tightened it. The man looked up and embraced certain death. Crunch. The man's limp carcass fell to the cold floor. The vampire turned, noticing a small woman hidden in the corner. He walked over to her and said, "I will come again, and again, until the end of time if I must until I find Lucky. If you see him, tell him Count Chocula is watching."
This horrible cycle continued every night for five years. Finally, one night, when the count was out choosing an Irish pub to interrogate, he noticed the bushes rustle beside him. With ferocity he leapt onto the bush. He glanced down to see what he caught. It was a rabbit but not just an ordinary rabbit, it was the Trix Rabbit. The vampire grabbed his neck and began tightening the grip; the rabbit happened to be one of his enemies.
The vampire then noticed something, the rabbit was holding a bloody knife and convulsively vomiting. The count demanded to know what was going on. The rabbit replied,
"See those bodies over there?" The Count glanced over and replied,
"You killed some one, well whoopdedoo for you." The rabbit said,
"Those are the kids that never let me have any of their cereal. I'm puking because I finally got a taste of that Trix cereal and I can't believe I spent my whole life trying to taste that disgusting crap."
The count thought this poor excuse for a rabbit might be of some help. He released his death grip on the rabbit and said,
"You may be a use to me yet. Do you know where the one called Lucky is?" The rabbit said,
"He's at Bennigans downing some rounds." The count looked down on him and said,
"Go get him and don't return until you have his head on a platter." The count reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a small steel scalpel. He said, "here, take this and kill Lucky with it." The rabbit scuttled off to Bennigans. When he walked into the restaurant the whole place went silent. The rabbit quickly spotted Lucky out of the corner of his eye and threw the scalpel. Seeing Lucky was in danger, a large Irishman jumped in the way of the hurling projectile. The scalpel pierced his neck killing him slowly and painfully. Being unarmed in an Irish pub, the rabbit ran back to Count Chocula.
The rabbit found the count heading in the direction of the pub. The rabbit slowed and asked the count what he was doing.
The count replied snidely, "If you want something done, you have to do it yourself." He walked into the restaurant and pulled out a black colt revolver, and took aim on a waitress. The count said, "Lucky, if you don't come out now I'll blow off her head." Lucky stepped out of the crowd. An evil grin appeared on the count's face. He aimed the gun at Lucky.
He then said, "This, is the price of failure." He turned, and shot the rabbit in the head killing him instantly. He aimed the gun back at Lucky and said, "time to die Mr. Charms." All of a sudden, a bright beam of light landed on Count Chocula's forehead. He immediately exploded into ash. Lucky skipped out of the restaurant feeling extra lucky.
As lucky was walking back to his green house, he heard a twig snap, but kept going. He heard some leaves crackle, but paid no attention. Finally, he heard a loud "POP". That was when he knew it was too late, death was upon him. His new foes were ten times worse than the count. Three midget elves dressed in war paint jumped out of the bushes yelling, "Long Live Rice Crispies!" Lucky was killed the instant the poison darts penetrated his blood. He fell to the ground with one last shout of,
"They're after me Lucky Charms!"
END