Razorblade Noose : Melody's Ensnarement
Team Karate
xYuki - This A/N was originally done by an anon-... but I decided to take things into my own hands. :3 Anyways, this story is a little different from our others. I will explain a few things before you start reading, and at the very end I will explain what ever it is I believe will confuse you. Honestly, even I got confused at the constant change of focus.
Regular text is present tense.
Italic text is past tense.
Bolded is the subject Carim focuses on most of the story.
Bolded Italics is when Carim changes her subject of focus.
Just bare with the confusion for a bit, it is not an accident on my part, it is done on purpose.
Oh btw, I finished this story REALLY late at night. If you see any mistakes, can you please tell inform us? Thank you.
Okay on a lighter note-... Team GEMINI is in a small dispute. The ninjas of our team are debating amongst themselves whether we should do a Pirate Fate story or a Samurai Fate story... so if anyone's even bothering to read this author's note, please give us your pick. Samurai vs Pirates? XDDD
*The reason why everything is being updated late is because I am working on a massive update. SnPv1/Melt/BMBG/Choices (yes I'm rewriting this)/Learning To Live/In Loving Memory*
Our Symphony Of Delirious Delusions
Sleek midnight black, rosewood neck, Agathis body, bolted on construction... these are the words you told me when I asked you what kind of guitar you held tightly in your grasp. I honestly didn't care much for the guitar itself, I was more interested in the smiling face you adorned whilst you spoke so fondly of it. Your bright shining blue eyes sparkled when you carefully dragged your middle finger over a string delicately. I felt a shiver run up my spine when I imagined that very finger running down my body... such ludicrous thoughts I harbor.
"Oh... fascinating, I have always wondered what it would be like to play the guitar, but then again," I took a side glance at the beautiful piano resting behind me. "The piano has always held my heart tightly. Just the sheer power it expels when a hard note is played, or the ginger tones it produces when a light gentle touch is applied."
"Wow..."
"Hm…yes, but may I ask what kind of guitar it is you are holding? You derailed when I asked you the first time." I said with a soft laugh. That small laugh caused a deep blush on your face, I felt faint at the sight.
"The B.C. Rich Mocking bird," you replied with a small blush on your face, "It doesn't really suit me does it?" you asked me, that small pink tinge on her adorable face becoming a deep scarlet. "I couldn't help but pick it up the very moment I saw it, I was drawn to it from the very start."
I took another gander at you and the rough yet elegant looking electric guitar you held protectively. "It... it... um..." I paused to think of the appropriate words to reply to your question. The guitar honestly did not fit your visage very well. Such a cute girl and such a brute guitar did not bode well with my old fashioned pallet. "If you felt that, that instrument called out for you, it must have been fate."
And as if on cue...
"Mou, Fate-chan! Come to classes on time, I had to explain to the teacher the reason why you were late." Nanoha exclaimed with an exasperated tone of voice.
"Che, I was helping my parents move some heavy boxes. You know how my parents are; "Fate, you're the man of the house so you have to help!" which leads me to my conclusion, I still think they don't really consider Chrono as a man..." Fate replied with her arms behind her head. The tall boyish blond haired girl wore her baseball cap backwards, her uniform unruly.
"I feel sorry for Chrono-kun, he wore women's clothing once, and he was branded as a woman..." Nanoha stifled a laugh. "He does have a striking resemblance to Precia-san, so I guess he must have looked very pretty."
"Uh... I guess?"
"You... guess?"
"Yes."
"..." I winced when Nanoha smacked Fate upside the head, the poor blonde did not see that coming.
I turned back to you and frowned, "Are they always like this?"
"Unfortunately... yes." you replied with a wry laugh, but you had a smile on your face the whole time. "Fate-chan and Nanoha-chan are a little on the platonic side."
"Is that so?"
"Yep," you strummed your guitar. "It's obvious Fate-chan likes Nanoha, just looking at that pretty boy tells you how she feels instantly," you strummed again, "Nanoha on the other hand, is completely oblivious to Fate-chan's feelings, because in her mind Fate-chan is wrong in almost every way possible. From speech, clothes, attitude, and ideals. That and Nanoha likes Yuuno-kun, or at least she's trying to."
"I-... see." You're wrong; Harlaown-sama isn't in love with Takamachi-san.
"Ya-... they're both idiots." you giggled cutely and caused my heart to beat faster. "But still, I'm surprised you aren't weirded out by what I just said, Sensei."
"Eh?" I gasped out in surprise. "Why would I think that way? To me, love is love no matter what form it takes. But, yes, Takamachi-san and Harlaown-sama are quite-..." I watched as Nanoha pulled on Fate's cheek with a furious glare on her face. "... rambunctious." I felt a little jaded when I said those words-... it felt to ironic that I had said those words.
"Ahaha, ya."
There was a nice silence that fell between us. You sat on a desk, leaning back using your right arm to support your weight, you had your guitar rest on your lap with your left arm resting on its neck. You had a stray strand of hair dangling to the side of her face, I wanted to reach out and fix it, touching you in the process.
"I should get going." I muttered quickly as I turned to leave the room. I heard you call out to me, but I pretended to not hear.
Broken Strings Tethering Broken Wings
I laid in bed with a dull expression. I could not get the sight of your crystal clear aquamarine eyes out of my mind; it drove me crazy the way they rippled like waves. How can such a young woman have such pained eyes?
Pained?
Yes, to me those vibrant blue eyes held something more. Your smiling face, cheery disposition and your upbeat tone of voice-... it was all a mask to hide your pain.
You hated this rotten and filthy world as much as I.
I reach out to the ceiling, my fingers coiling inward slowly as I pictured myself reaching out to you. That surprised expression you had when you walked into the music room that fateful day, just what drove you to run away?
Every day, every second, every moment-...
I wanted to watch you, make sure no one took you away from my line of vision. You belonged to me.
Slender fingers ran up my thigh, and I glared. This woman I lie in bed with is a woman I do not know. Her name, her hobbies, her likes and dislikes, where she lives-... to me she was not even worth my time. This woman who takes much pleasure from my presence beside her is a complete fool.
My rage will drive me into oblivion.
I make love to this unknown woman again. Her voice angers me, her smell, her touch, her body, everything. Everything about her makes me want to wrap my fingers around her slender neck and choke the life out of her. She moans out my name, but it makes my skin crawl. Everything I hate about this woman is what I love about you. Her short hair, baby blue eyes, average stature, and even her Kansai accent. Yes, I truly hated these attributes on her.
Your replacement for the night.
This mere illusion sleeps soundly beside me. The slow moving of her chest and the quiet murmurs she makes during her slumber. I sat up in bed and watched her, twiddling one of my bangs between my fingers, my disgust for her rising as she curled up with her knees up to her chest.
Can I live a mere fantasy by doing what I did tonight? Holding you in a lover's embrace, making love to you, hearing your voice call out my name as you climax-... tell me, can I continue living in this dream like world where I imprint these fantasies I have of you onto someone else? Tell me-... am I monster for betraying my love for you?
I close my eyes and lean in closer to this woman who I do not know and took in a deep breath of her shoulder length chocolate brown hair. She even smells like you.
Reality really knows how to make you realize your sins.
The sun shines brightly, poking in through the blinds of the hotel window. You stir awake and jump in surprise when your eyes meet with my own. I am already dressed and ready to work. You continue to look up at me with this innocent confusion written in your eyes, what did you want now?
"You should get dressed." I tell you with a cold voice. You nodded your head and scramble for your clothes. I don't even have the appetite to watch your well endowed self get dressed. "You don't need a ride do you?" I asked with a slight curiosity.
Pulling on the collar of your blazer and pushed your arm through the sleeve, you replied, "Uh-... yea, that would be nice. The hotel's too far from the school."
I nodded my head and waited for you to get dressed.
Aquamarine eyes collide with lifeless aquamarine, and for a moment I realized I had lied.
I knew you perfectly well; you're my student and I your teacher.
You are Yagami Hayate, and you were nothing more than a one night stand to me.
Sick minds think alike-... but I am neither sick minded nor sane. You can classify me as deranged.
The music room was the last place I ever wanted to be. The musky scent of hard old hard wood, suffocating rules of rhythm, and the solitary piano situated in the middle of the room, surrounded by dust covered sheet music stands and misaligned chairs. Everything about that room made my blood boil. This was the one room you would always come to, along with your gender confused friend and her egotistical girlfriend.
My gaze pierced through the window which was adjacent to the music room. My eyes carefully scanned the room and neared the grand piano being shined upon by the dimming light of the sun. Such a depressing image lay before me. The ivory keys of the piano; sheltered by the pull out cover. The raven black sheen of the piano gave off a dead shine when I peered at it. The dust was quite visible to my eyes even though I was so far away, the hand print I had left earlier, this morning, was still there.
I stood still as I watched you walk around the wooden instrument taking a seat at the piano's bench and lifting up the cover, pushing it back to reveal the pristine white ivory keys. I gazed down at you with a curious stare and frowned when you just sat there like a moron smiling to yourself.
A painful memory resounded in my cold dead heart as I watched her sit in front of the piano. At this time and at that place many years ago I met had you, the one that regretfully stole my heart and broke it thoughtlessly. I remember standing by that very same door frame, covering my mouth with my hands trying to stifle out the gasp I let out when I saw you. The way you looked lovingly at these ivory keys, was the way I had seen her. Beautiful. Yes, even though I stood so far away I can still so easily see how beautiful she is. I still remember time stopping when our eyes had met-... this memory of mine seems to have warped, no. This memory of mine has been flipped upside down and altered to face a different reality.
Time was repeating itself in a slightly different manner, instead of I standing by the door frame with such a shocked expression, it was a young girl that resembled you. And instead of you sitting before the piano, it was a more matured version of I taking the position of the pianist.
Short soft brunette hair that cascaded down to your shoulder blades, childish facial features, cheery sapphire eyes, long slender fingers gracing the keyboard, posture straight and most of all... you had your gaze situated upon me.
My throat had gone dry as I thought back to that breath taking moment. You were shrouded in the lax orange glow of the setting sun, illuminating your hair a sultry copper red. Your blue eyes pierced into my soul even though your gaze was not a spiteful one, but a gaze that proclaimed surprise, curiosity and welcome. You appeared to me as adorable with such a startled expression; I wished to gaze upon it again even though so much time has passed...
It has been exactly three months, five days, and fifteen hours since that day at in the music room, and it's been exactly three months, five days, and fifteen hours that I have avoided the room and you. And it's been three months, five days, and fifteen hours since I have done nothing but dream of the creamy smooth feel of your youthful skin, the taste of your lips, and the sound of your voice. I wanted my torment to end. I accept the fact I, a member of the teacher faculty, has broken the boundary of my profession and slept with a student. This crime I have committed shall end today.
I promptly dropped off the papers I held in my arms to their proper destination and bid farewell to the teacher who accepted them. Nozomu-sensei tried to make small talk with me in hopes to keep my attention on him for just a bit longer, but I had no time for a cumbersome workplace romance.
After taking my leave from Nozomu-sensei, I briskly walked towards the music room where you waited for me.
"It's Nanoha-chan's birthday tomorrow..." you sighed and pressed a finger on an E key and listened to the hollow echoing sound of the piano, "I should tell her to shut up once and for all tomorrow."
I was mere steps away from the door when I heard you say such a mean thing about your friend. There was some hope for you yet, but that hope is bleak if you utter those words to her. I will break your heart today, and you will run to your friend Nanoha when I do, but if you say those cruel words-... will she open her arms and catch you?
"Heh, Fate-chan you looked pretty cool tying that red string to Nanoha's finger and then tying it onto yours and saying "See, look! The red string of Fate is more than enough to keep us together!" You're so boyishly charming it hurts to watch you fall for Nanoha like a lead brick without a dick. Heh..."
You sighed heavily, and carefully pulled the piano's pull out cover and placed it above the ivory keys, being careful not to make too much of a sound when you closed it, but I heard it.
You continued to walk towards the open door, and each step you took, I willed myself to steel my heart away. I have to do the right thing and set things straight. You are a student and I, your teacher. We spent one night as lovers, but that night will be the last. I swear it.
I was so lost within my own thoughts I didn't hear you stand before me. "Gra-... cia-sensei... what are you-...?" you hesitantly stutter.
Concerned aquamarine eyes, shoulder length brunette hair with red and yellow clips clipped on, and tempting lips parted slightly. Yagami Hayate stood beside me looking as if she was about to die.
"S-Sense-... i?"
My student was staring me with a scared expression, her lips forming a thin line. She wanted to cry, but I wanted nothing more than to cease the pain that will take hold of us if we allowed this illicit affair to continue. I wanted to die-... I never wanted to cause such an innocent girl such pain.
"I-I-... 'll be leaving now. Good day to you Sensei."
I silently watched as you bowed deeply, shutting your eyes tightly as if you were fighting back the tears that threatened to escape from your eyes. You took a step back and turned around trying to walk away from me, but I took a step forward. My trembling hand reached out and grabbed hold of your right hand tightly. You spun around and looked down at my hand holding onto yours. I looked away quickly to avoid your confused stare, hiding my face from your gaze with my long bangs. You tugged your hand to be set free, but my grasp on you only got tighter. What is wrong with me? I wanted to let you go-... but I couldn't for some unforseable reason.
"S-Sen-... Sensei, what are you doing?"
"How long have you been coming to this room?" I asked you with a wavering voice. As much as I didn't want to, I spoke.
"J-Just today, honest!"
"How long, have you been coming to this room?" I asked you again, my will to allow you to slip through my grasp disappearing as rage filled my unsettled heart.
"I'm telling you, just today. I felt like hiding in the music room, that's all. Can you please let me go? You're hurting me."
"How long have you been coming to this room?"
"I just told you!"
"How long have you been coming to this room?"
"You really aren't giving up on this are you?" you suddenly asked me. A lump lodged itself within my throat; I didn't know how to reply to such a question.
My head turned towards you, my heart pounding as our eyes met in a tense gaze. I saw you flinch when my frown turned into an angry scowl, and cower in fear as I took a step towards you. "I have been hearing petty rumors of a girl coming to this room every day, at the exact same time." You winced at my cold tone of voice; honestly even I too, was scared by my own ridged tone. I really didn't mean to say it in such a manner. "Students have also been spreading silly rumors that the ghost of a former student was haunting this room."
"L-Look... I don't know what you're talking about." I lied.
"You know exactly what I am talking about, Yagami-san." my heart stopped when your name slipped out of my mouth, and the disjointed stare I gave you melted when I realized a warm soothing feeling had wrapped itself around my heart. "Please, tell me honestly. Why have you been coming here?"
"I wanted to see you again!" you shouted angrily, your head hanging low in shame.
"You see me every day." I replied as nonchalantly as I could
"Yes I do! But it isn't enough! I wanted to see you as a person not as my teacher." you proclaimed, your voice rising a few decibels. "I wanted to see you basking in the light again! I wanted to be the only one ensnared in your gaze! I wanted to be the one you paid attention to the most!"
"Y-Yagam-... mi-san."
"It's stupid isn't it?"
"No..."
"I'm falling in love with my teacher-... this is everything that shouldn't be!"
"..."
"Good, don't say anything. Keep our student-teacher relationship sacred by not replying. I don't want to hear your rejection!"
"..."
I hurriedly wrapped my arms around your fragile body when you attempted to run away. I held you as tightly as I could, and even with the large height gap between us I pressed my cheek against your own. You struggled in my grasp for a moment but stopped soon after. I was getting carried away by your delicate fragrance.
"H-Hey-... you should let go before anyone sees." My embrace only got tighter as she struggled to get free. "Come on, it isn't that big of a deal-..." I nuzzled my head against yours; I took a deep inhalation of your temptations scent. "Come on Sensei, you don't have to force yourself. This embrace is all I'll ever need-... I won't bother you. I promise."
"Shut up." I growled, my embracing around you tightening into a coaxingly tight embrace. "Just shut up for a moment okay?"
"Um-... okay?" You were just as surprised as I when I uttered such vulgar words. I didn't know that they were even in my vocabulary until now.
"I shouldn't be doing this-... I shouldn't be watching you the way I do." Your eyes widened as I spoke words I had no intention of saying. The embrace I had ensnared you in became somewhat strenuous to my back, so I carefully lifted you up from the ground just to hold you tighter. "I shouldn't be feeling this way about you either."
"Wh-What? Please Sensei, please don't tease me-... my heart hurts enough as it is; don't wound me anymore."
"I quietly watch you waiting in this room every day, marveled by how stunning you look in the threads of light that seep through these windows." If it were anymore possible, I would embrace you tighter, but with my strength I cannot do so. "I have done nothing else but wish to walk into this room so many times, pull you aside and embrace you as I am now."
"..."
"I've been ensnared by you many months ago. The moment you walked in through these doors-..." I placed you back onto the ground and retracted my arms and placed my hands onto your shoulders. I stared at you softly, my cold expression melting into a warm gaze. "I keep imagining to myself, standing here before you and pulling you close and never letting go."
"Sen-... nsei."
"I will not say I am in love with you-... infatuated at most."
"I've gone passed that phase a long time ago, I'm sorry."
"Worry not-... if I continued to watch you quietly as I have in the past, I too would have fa-...." I stopped myself before I spoke further on about these feelings I was suddenly experiencing. "Shall I play something for you?" I asked instinctively. My mind went black of all coherent thoughts-... please, please let this piano be my pillar of strength so I may will myself to sever the fatal connection between this young girl and myself.
"Yes-... please."
I held onto your hand tightly; I was intrigued at most by how soft a guitarist's hand felt-... yes, just a guitarist, not you. These fingers that intertwined with my own felt so gentle, I stiffened up when you clasp your hand onto mine and leaned on my shoulder. I wished to stay by your side, but this pain, I feel will always come back to bother me even if we are at our happiest. I wanted nothing more than to stop this taboo relationship we share where it is, stunting its growth from a mere attraction.
My student and I sat on the piano bench, I carefully removed the cover and placed my fingers upon the pure white ivory keys. The melody I played was a soft, sorrowful tune that expressed the forlorn feelings and emotions the two of us ironically shared. I stared at these ivory keys with pain as I recalled the day you said good bye. We weren't even together for very long, but that good bye had haunted me for all these years, and now time was repeating itself in a more deranged fashion.
In this room illuminated by a diluted orange, I fell in love with the lonely melody echoing around us... this was no longer a love full of regret and what if's. I had fallen madly in love with you all over again through simple recollections, and I don't think I could ever escape again until I hear your final good bye.
"..." Momoko-senpai... I still love you.
"Hayate-... this is the end."
Sleek midnight black, rosewood neck, Agathis body, bolted on construction - Agathis is a type of evergreen tree. It is used as the body for the specific guitar I mentioned here. The B.C. Rich Mocking Bird is a referance to Ni-chan's guitar in real life, the loser snapped it in half when she dropped it-... so I lul'd.
For the beginning of the story, Carim seems to be really sweet right? Well she is, that was in the passed before she slept with Hayate due to carnal urges for her former love.
"..." Momoko-senpai... I still love you. - For those of you that read this story, you will have undoubtedly seen the darkest plot twist of the story "Be My Bad Girl". This angsty portion you read will only be mentioned briefly in the actual story itself. It's one of those "I know that there's something that's supposed to be here, but it's not! I DUB THIS INCOMPLETE!"... or something like that. But yea, the Hayate x Carim pairing will be very subtle in the full story. :3
If you have anything you wish for me to clarify, please do so via PM or review.
Oh and Toumasan ご苦労様でした :D