At first glance, you might think Dean Winchester has had it easy. The tall man with an effortless smile, light brown hair that never seemed to move, softly tanned skin with a slight dusting of freckles, and a body that was muscled without being too hard. First glances can be wrong and If you really look, you can see that his life has been anything but easy.

It all started when he was four when his mother was murdered. No, really it started even before he was born. When Mary Campbell was just sixteen, she had a stalker. At first, the man just seemed to show up wherever she went, but eventually he started calling her at home. He would say that she had a rightful place at his side, reigning over the depths of hell. If that wasn't creepy enough he also told her that their future children were instrumental in the apocalypse, and that it wouldn't be long before they'd start their demonic family. It could have been an empty threat but even at such a young age the Campbell woman was perceptive. She tried going to the police but since he'd never actually came into contact with her, there was little they could do in offering assistance.

The man was delusional and did not place empty threats, but they didn't find that out until much later. The number of calls increased and they became increasingly more threatening. When she was eighteen, she met and began dating John Winchester. Which only spurred the psychotic rants further, and being so used to no one offering assistance she kept it to herself. John had joined the marines, and the two got married just six months later. She was relieved to find that wherever he got stationed, she could move with him and finally escape the constant uneasy feeling she'd had over the last few years.

Unfortunately, that only agitated Steve or Azazel as he called himself. He did not take the news well and two weeks after the newlyweds moved to Lawrence, Azazel paid a visit to her parents. He had attempted to force Deana and Samuel into giving away Mary's whereabouts. They wouldn't, and paid with their lives. He was quickly caught and arrested, but he plead not guilty by reason of insanity and was sent to the state psychiatric facility. He spent his time trying to be the model patient. He took his medication, attended all therapy sessions, and even started answered to his given name which fooled everyone. He'd also spent any spare time trying to track down the young Winchesters. It took quite a while, but he didn't really have anything else to do.

After years of pretending, he was released, and of course he went straight to Lawrence. When he arrived at the Winchester house, he watched the happy family for several days. He was furious, Mary should be his and the two boys should be his. Unable to hold himself back any further, he snuck inside and started a fire. He was furious at his beloved for just going on with her life while he was locked away in that despicable place. She sullied the life he'd had planned for them when she married that stupid human, and bore his children.

Thankfully, Mary wasn't asleep and she rushed to wake John and the kids. She'd tried to get downstairs, but was quickly trapped by the flames. John placed six month old Sammy into the arms of his four year old brother, and told him to run outside as fast as he could. No matter what he tried he couldn't get to his wife, and was forced to flee the flames himself.

That was the day that Dean's troubles began. He was too young to fully understand what was happening, he only knew that he would never see his mom again and that his dad had changed. For the first month after her death, Dean and Sammy stayed with their Uncle Bobby while their father tried to hunt down his wife's killer. John eventually returned and they moved into a small two bedroom rental house in a cheaper neighborhood. For the next eight years, John Winchester would periodically run off to chase a new lead, leaving his boys with a babysitter if he was only going to be gone a few days. If it would be longer, he would leave them with Bobby.

When Dean was twelve, his dad decided that he was old enough that he could watch Sammy on the shorter trips, and said that he would try to not stay gone longer than three or four days at a time. However, that seemed to just make the problem worse because it meant that he made more frequent tips. He'd chase after any lead that he thought might bring him face to face with Azazel. Which meant he was jobless more often than not, not many employers wanted someone who was as dependable as the weather.

Dean's life changed drastically again on his thirteenth birthday. His dad had been gone for an entire month, which was the longest of all the trips he'd taken without dropping them off at Uncle Bobby's. Luckily, they lived just a few blocks from the school, and Dean was able to work odd jobs around the neighborhood and earn enough money to feed Sammy. When he came home with Sam he found a paper on the door saying that they were being evicted, and had three days to leave. Their electricity had been cut off two days earlier. Dean couldn't take it anymore, so when Bobby called to wish him a Happy Birthday that evening, he told the older man everything. Just an hour later his adopted uncle was at the house packing up what he could, and taking the now very scared boys home with him..

"You ain't ever gonna have to live like that again boy, you hear me?"

Dean looked at the floor, "Yes sir. Thank you."

It was a couple of months later when they found out why John hadn't come back earlier. He was on his way home to Lawrence when his car was hit by a truck, he had died instantly. Identification had taken longer, due to the large number of fake I.D's that John had kept while he was chasing down Azazel. Bobby obviously loved the two boys as his own, so he adopted them and Dean couldn't have been happier, even if he was a cantankerous curmudgeon (Dean got bored one day and looked through the C's in the dictionary).

After that, things got better for the boys. Sam got into Stanford, worked his brainy ass off and became a lawyer. Dean went to Kansas State University, studying education and became a High School English teacher. He was happy almost all the time, but occasionally the pain from the past would rear its ugly head, like today. It would have been Mary's birthday, and he couldn't help but be a little sad. All of his students could tell that something was wrong and tried to help, but nothing could really be done. Well, not until the end of the day when he went to collect his daily mail and found a typed letter.

Dear Mr. Winchester,

I am not one of your students, but I saw you this morning and you looked so sad. I wanted, no needed to write you this letter. I will not pretend to fully understand all that you feel, or all that you have gone through, but you are loved Mr. Winchester. Loved by so many people and you deserve all of this love, and more. There isn't a person who has met you, that you haven't changed for the better. You would give the shirt off your back or your last dollar to a stranger on the street if they needed it. You teach at an underprivileged school because you love the kids and find them just as deserving as any other, of a quality education. Every Thanksgiving you volunteer at the homeless shelter, baking a variety of delicious pies. You were instrumental in starting the Gay Straight Alliance, and even sponsor the club without compensation. It is because of you, the school now has a zero tolerance on bullying.

You are a truly righteous man, beautiful inside and out. You should be proud of all you've accomplished, and these small mentions haven't even scratched the surface. At home, you are beyond loved. You have a man that would surely be lost without you. He would never get any pop culture references, would never eat a decent meal, and most of all he'd never know what it is to be loved by you. Dean, you are quick to tell anyone who will listen, just how lucky you are to have him, but it is he, that is truly blessed. I hope you keep this letter, and in times of trouble you take it out, and remember just how special you are.

With Love,

Your Secret Admirer

Dean folded up the paper and wiped the tears brimming in his eyes. They were happy tears, it had been a while since he felt this deserving. He slowly made his way to the parking lot, speeding up once he locked eyes with the gorgeous man standing beside the car. It was a fellow English teacher, and the love of his life, Castiel.

"Cas, you son of a bitch. You made me cry in the middle of the front office." Dean said with a smile that could have lit up the whole 's smile was intoxicating, and it was simply beautiful.

"I'm sure I don't know what your talking about." He totally did.

Dean wrapped his arms around his husband, placing a soft kiss to his lips, and pulling him into the biggest bear hug he could manage. He hoped it would convey all that he couldn't say with words. Life was a blessing and he was thankful for every moment.