Serenade

by Teamo-Seto

When they can't find their own words to tell how they feel, sometimes the words of others are best. The songs are even better. AH/EP

Title: Serenade

Summary: When they can't find their own words to tell how they feel, sometimes the words of others are best. The songs are even better. AH/EP

Hotch found himself once again losing his attention from the reports on his desk and staring at the closed door of his office. In this room, he was left alone to his own cold, dark thoughts. Out there, where he really wanted to be, there was darkness but also a bright, beautiful burning light that he wished with every ounce of his being that he could have. He stared at the note on the edge of his desk and once again, looked at the door. The cool exterior of his hard face crumbled for a split second into panic and he whispered to the door, "I don't think I can do this." Another few seconds later, he added, "There is no way that this will work."

Aaron wanted to hit himself for the tremble in his voice, and cursed himself relentlessly in his mind. Damn and blast the broken soul inside him. Damn and blast the cool façade that he had to keep up at all times, as well as the leering crack that ripped through it. Damn and blast his own accursed ignorance and crumbling pride. He wanted to damn and blast the feelings that threatened to take over his every sense and throw every image of himself that had been bestowed upon everyone to the wind. But he couldn't, for it was one of the best feelings he had ever had. For a split second, he wanted to curse the source of his problems, but he knew that before he would, he would have to shoot himself. The source of this ache and pain was none other than his fellow agent, Emily Prentiss.

With a breath, he trained his eyes on JJ's completed report, and with practiced precision, he looked out of the corner of his eye through the window to catch a glimpse of the brunette agent. She was smiling and laughing at one of Morgan's jokes, glossy locks down her slight back and a light in her dark eyes. Hotch felt his heart skip a beat as his eyes traced her beautiful smile, her full red lips and her white teeth. The fire in her eyes made him want to fall on his knees at the worst of times in sheer worship of her. How one woman made him wish to be more than he was and to dive back into the almost normal life that he craved, he had no idea. But he wanted her, all of her: her soul, that beautiful smile, her loyalty and courage, as well as the body that encompassed them. His heart ached for her, as it had for the years that he had known her. For a while, the treacherous feelings had managed to stay hidden under the mask, and he kept them from everyone, including himself. But now, Hotch was completely under her control and he couldn't believe how easy it had been to fall in love with Emily. It had been too long, far too long, and he wanted to let her know, at last, that he wanted to spend eternity with her by his side.

With a deep shattering breath, he looked at the note again, got to his feet, strode to the door and opened it wide. Almost instantly, faces started to look towards him, his team in particular. They rose to their feet and strode quickly towards Hotch's office. "What is he doing?" Derek asked, confusion flooding his face.

"He hasn't left the office, but the door is wide open." Spencer noted. "Either he wants someone to come in, or..."

"He wants us to hear something." Emily finished, her dark eyes riveted on Hotch's silhouette through the window.

"What on earth is going on?" Garcia murmured. JJ repeated the sentiment and the five of them slowly climbed up the stairs to stand where their Unit Chief could not see them, but they could see him. Derek's eyes scanned the office and he instantly saw the Post-It on the corner of Hotch's desk. The writing was scribbled in pen, but legible: "On My Own."

The agent in question was rearranging files in the drawers and with a slow breath, Aaron Hotchner opened his mouth and began to sing:

"And now I'm all alone again, nowhere to turn, no one to go to

Without a home, without a friend, without a face to say hello to.

But now the night is near,

Now I can make believe she's here."

Everyone looked at each other in sheer and total shock. Emily Prentiss managed to look the most shocked of all. The first fact that managed to sweep through her consciousness was that Hotch had one of the most beautiful voices she had ever heard. It was rough with emotion, but rumbled in a way that would have made an operatic baritone stare in awe. The second fact was that Hotch was SINGING a LOVE SONG at WORK. In what world did that happen? "What are you doing, fearless leader?" She murmured and they continued to listen.

"Sometimes I walk alone at night when everybody else is sleeping

I think of her and then I'm happy with the company I'm keeping.

The city goes to bed,

And I can live inside my head."

Reid quietly identified the song. "It's On My Own, from Les Miserables." It was one of his favourites, but he would deny it with his dying breath. Hotch continued, unbeknownst of their confusion.

"On my own,

Pretending she's beside me.

All alone,

I walk with her till morning.

Without her,

I feel her arms around me.

And when I lose my way,

I close my eyes and she has found me."

The last line was followed with a contented sigh, and Hotch's hands quivered, looking to wrap around something. His eyes were closed with bliss and the slightest of smiles danced on his face. JJ's eyes were swelling with tears, as were Garcia's. Dave had managed to show up at this point and looked suddenly very confused at his protege's actions. Then, his eyes landed on an entranced Prentiss and he seemed to understand. "He's serenading someone." He commented softly.

"But who?" Morgan asked, suddenly struck with the idea of a serenade. It might help his love life at some point.

"Whoever it is," Prentiss commented, a note of jealousy in her voice, "He loves her with all his heart."

"In the rain,

The pavement shines like silver.

All the lights,

Are misty in the river.

In the darkness,

The trees are full of starlight.

And all I see is her and me forever and forever."

Hotch sounded so happy with that last line that it made Emily's heart swell. Then, the next line crashed her hopes and she felt so devastated for the poor man.

"And I know it's only in my mind.

That I'm talking to myself,

And not to her.

And although, I know that she is blind.

Still I say,

There's a way for us."

There was a little spark of hope in that voice, and Hotch was looking down at his hands. His shoulders trembled and it took every ounce of his courage to keep going. His hearing closed off, he didn't hear the sniffles on the other side of the wall. All three women outside his door were in tears, and the men were pretty damn close to as well.

"I love her,

But when the night is over,

She is gone.

The river's just a river.

Without her,

The world around me changes;

The trees are bare and everywhere,

The streets are full of strangers."

There was a trace of hopelessness in the voice, and Rossi was now the only one not crying. Morgan's arm was around Garcia's shoulders and Reid found himself hugging JJ. Emily was pressed to the wall, desperate to hear the end of it.

"I love her,

But every day I'm learning.

All this time,

I've only been pretending."

His voice broke and Emily found herself trying not to sob. Whoever was doing this to Hotch was going to pay! The voice wobbled as he continued,

"Without me,

Her world will go on turning,

A world that's full of happiness,

That I have never known."

The voice was silent for a second, and he sang out, "I love her." Another pause, and then quieter, "I love her." Finally, a choked out whisper of, "I love her, but only on my own."

Every agent outside Aaron Hotchner's office was crying, even big strong Rossi. No one had expected such emotion from their cold leader. What a voice, what a song and Emily felt her heart break in sheer and total pain for him. She wanted to hurt the woman that was doing this to him, and as the group filed away, she began to narrow down the choices. Hotch was obviously singing to someone in the building, but the volume seemed to be focused only on his team. That meant three women. Emily sat down at her desk to think. It couldn't be JJ he was serenading, the two had a completely different bond that could not be mistaken for romance. Besides, she was still with Will. And it most definitely could not be Garcia. There was no way that Hotch would dare make a move on the woman without a very angry Derek Morgan on his case. By process of elimination, that left...her.

Emily could not breathe, even more so that while the tears still fell. Aaron Hotchner was singing her a love song? There was no way. She didn't know, had never known, couldn't have dreamed of it. Actually, she did dream of it. The feelings that Hotch had expressed were not only reciprocated by the brunette, but actively encouraged. Emily saw in the man who she was his subordinate a mixture of two people. There was the one that everyone knew: calm, cool, reserved and controlled. But underneath, just underneath the surface, there was another one, wild and amazing that begged to be released. Hotch thought he was broken, she knew, and she wanted to be the glue to put him back together.

The pain and love that he had shown in the song was real, and he had wanted to show her that he truly, deeply loved her. Now, it was Emily's turn. With drying tears and a pounding heart, Emily turned on her computer and began to search for music. Something that would make him realize that she loved him no matter what, and if he needed security, she would more than willingly be there for him. Scanning the list of songs, the name popped out at her and she suddenly knew that it was the right one. Emily knew the words off heart, so she got up and practically ran to Hotch's office. The door was closed again, but she summoned up her courage and knocked.

Hotch was sitting at his desk, trying to breath and think coherently. He had done it. Aaron Hotchner had serenaded Emily Prentiss without her knowing. The entire team heard, he had seen them heading back to their posts as fast as they could. He had also seen the tear streaks down Emily's face, and his heart twisted in his chest. Why the tears were there, he had no idea, but he could not focus on anything without seeing her face in his mind. The knock on the door did shatter this concentration, and with a ghost of his old voice, he called, "Come in."

Prentiss stepped into the office, her dark black eyes instantly hammering into his own. The dried tear streaks on her face did not go unnoticed by him, but the look in her eyes swamped his consciousness. She was demanding his concentration, and he was more than willing to give it if he could understand. God, she looked beautiful though. The sad smile that curled her lips seemed to sink deep into his soul and her entire body seemed to shimmer with radiance. Hotch wanted to consume her, to dive deep inside her and never let go. "Hotch." She said softly, her voice almost savoring his name. It took everything the man had to keep the cool expression on his face and not sag into a little puddle of adoration before her.

"Prentiss." He acknowledged her, and the forced tone in his voice butchered her name. The crack halfway through her name seemed too noticeable to him, but she didn't seem to notice. If she did, she was too gracious to mention it. Her arms, clothed in a soft green shirt, crossed behind her back and her legs stood in the at ease position. Her clothes hugged her body in all the right places and Hotch had more than once wondered what it would look like without all the fabric. He imagined the flawless white skin every night and wanted to stroke it. His hands twitched with want to touch, and he curled them into fists on the table. Emily seemed to be staring at him, her eyes flicking across his face and a spaced look in her eye. He felt ready to blush under her attention and he added coolly in an attempt to squash his feelings, "Is there something you want to say to me, Agent Prentiss?"

This seemed to snap her out of some trance and she smiled. He felt his expression soften a micron at the smile and cursed the weakness. Her face was a map of concentration, and Hotch suspected a lecture coming. He internally braced himself for it, but when Emily Prentiss opened her mouth, what came out was not a lecture, but a song:

"No more talk of darkness,

Forget these wide eyed fears.

I'm here, nothing can harm you.

My words will warm and calm you."

Emily delighted in the shock that plastered Hotch's face, however hard he tried to hide it, and she knew that "All I Ask of You" was the perfect song. She made sure the smile stayed on her face and put as much emotion into her voice that he had put into his. If he wanted reassurance that she cared, this was the first impression and she had to make it a good one.

"Let me be your freedom,

Let daylight dry your tears.

I'm here, with you, beside you,

To guard you and to guide you."

The confusion in his eyes melted into longing and his entire body started to relax. "Emily..." He moaned in joy, unable to look away from her. His fists uncurled and although his lips remained in a straight line, they did not look as harsh. She smiled tenderly and continued,

"Then say you love me every waking moment.

Turn my head with talk of summertime.

Say you need with you now and always.

Promise me that all you say is true.

That's all I ask of you.

Let me be your shelter,

Let me be your light.

You're safe, no one will find you.

Your fears are far behind you."

Aaron had risen to his feet and strode to stand in front of her. The look in his eyes was ferocious, as if he wanted to say something, but the fear and sheer adoration for her stood out behind it. He keep a good five feet between the two of them, took a breath and sang on:

"All I want is freedom,

A world with no more night

And you, always beside me

To hold me and to hide me."

Emily moved forward and reached up with a hand to stroke his cheek, her eyes flooding with emotion for the man standing before her. He leaned his face into her hand and his breathing started to speed up. His hand came up to hold her small one against his skin. The gun calloused fingers tingled against her and he closed his eyes for a second. A content smile slipped across his face. If only he knew how her heart pounded at that. She pushed on with the song:

"Then say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime.

Let me lead you from your solitude."

That line seemed to shatter whatever pride he had left and Hotch wrapped his arms around her waist, tears flooding his eyes. "Emily..." He whispered, pressing his face into her shoulder as she sang on.

"Say you need me with you here, beside you

Anywhere you go, let me go too.

Aaron, that's all I ask of you."

Tears were actively flowing down the hardened agent's face, not only from her words, but the tone and in the fact that she had used his first name. It was the most beautiful thing he had ever heard. Her voice made his name sound majestic, belonging to a king, not to the shattered man who was holding her. As her fingers traced his cheek and ear, he pulled her closer and he whisper-sung:

"Say you'll share me one love, one lifetime,

Say the word and I will follow you.

Share each day with me, each night, each morning."

The next bit seemed torturous for him as he gulped out, "Say you love me..."

Emily smiled tenderly and sang, "You know I do." Tears flowed down her cheeks as well and they sang together,

"Love me, that's all I ask of you."

Hotch stared at the brunette that he was holding so tightly in his arms and he whispered reverently, "I don't deserve you, Emily."

"Why not?" She replied, her hand still against his face and moving through his hair. "What do you deserve?"

"I deserve no one." He said, his voice changed as he seemed to be giving her an order. "There isn't much to love behind this face. All that is here is muscle, bones, skin and some other things to make me seem realistic. You deserve better than me. I'm too..."

"Too what?" He was unable to look her in the eye, but when she tilted his chin up to look at him, he saw the understanding in her own and she saw the pain in his.

"Broken." Aaron said quietly. "I'm too broken to deserve someone as magnificent as you."

"Aaron," She sighed, both of her arms resting on his shoulders, "A broken man deserves someone who can and wants to put him back together. Besides, even if you were completely broken, I would love a fragment."

The two stared each other directly in the eyes, Emily welcoming Aaron's scrutiny as he searched for the meaning behind her words. He saw love and caring in her dark orbs, but he almost didn't believe it. He opened his mouth to speak, to squash the hope blossoming in his chest, to bring her back to reality, but before he could, she leaned forward and kissed him. With that, he couldn't even think straight. All he knew was that he was holding the woman he adored with every fiber of his body and he was kissing her. There was no feeling like it on earth and for a moment, he thought that he had died and gone to heaven. But this was real, and as he tilted his head to fit their lips together perfectly, he felt every wall he had built crumble with her touch. He felt the tears fall again, only a select few, but he felt loved enough that he could let them fall.

Emily did not break away when she tasted the salt from his tears or felt the shiver of his shoulders. Instead, she treated him as carefully as a porcelain doll. She pulled him closer as she let him know how much she truly loved him. He tasted spicy, like curry, and sweet, unable to put a finger on the taste. She ran her tongue over those sweet lips, asking permission to enter. Aaron cautiously let her, and as she let her tongue explore the dark cavern, she ran her fingers through his short black hair. His fingers tightened at her side and he groaned a little. Emily inwardly grinned at her progress. His hands were not idle either, as they ran up and down her back, seeking purchase on her shoulders and waist. She felt happy that she was making him happy, and she felt a few tears of her own fall in joy. He let her explore, and as her tongue touched his pallet, he let out a little moan and gripped her tighter. He sucked on her tongue a little and the two shivered. As they drew apart, his eyes shone with an almost terrifying level of adoration.

"Emily." He whispered, his voice trembling and he couldn't bear to let go of her.

"You sang me a love song. ME." She whispered, a smile gracing her lips. Aaron looked nervous for a second but when his eyes met her lips, focusing on her smile, he breathed easier.

"Yes." He murmured, his hands sliding back down to her waist. He wished to slip his hands under her shirt, to touch her skin, but he wouldn't ruin the moment. He couldn't break eye contact with her and as he pressed her closer, he whispered, "Thank you, Emily. Thank you so much."

"My world would not be full of happiness without you, Aaron." It took everything he had not to tear up again at the statement. His heart broke and healed within a few short seconds as she spoke. His face went stern as he waited for the letdown, for her words to hell him that he could never come near her again, because she would be so happy without him. "It would be lonely, because I love you and I would miss you dearly."

"Emily..." He moaned her name and kissed her again, tenderly. Every emotion that he could not bring himself to express was poured into that kiss, and as he reached up to run his fingers through her hair, she understood. She hugged him tight and let him take the reins. He seemed adamant at letting her know how much he loved her for what she had done. He nipped her bottom lip, asking for entrance, and when she opened her mouth, he was so gentle that she couldn't believe it. Her fingers trailed along the nape of his neck and when she dug her nails in a little, he groaned softly against her mouth. As his tongue touched the roof of her mouth, on a particularly sensitive spot, she moaned quietly and she felt a smirk against her lips. When he pulled back, he said, "I love you too." But it was more than that. With needing explanation, she understood. With an thoughtful inclination of her head, she let go of him, however reluctantly, and went to leave. "Emily." Aaron called and she stopped, turning around partway to look at him. The stern face was back on, and he spoke demandingly. "Dinner at Leo's tonight? 6:30?"

"Sounds good to me, darling." She smiled at him. "See you there."

Prentiss turned and walked back to her cubicle, a new spring in her step. Aaron closed the door, and leaned against it, looking at his hands disbelievingly. She called him darling. Somehow, that made his heart pound harder than any other thought that had slipped through his head about her. As soon as he was sure no one could hear, he threw his head back to face the ceiling and cried out to the heavens above, joy flooding his face, "Thank you! Whatever deity is up there, thank you, thank you, thank you!"

Rossi walked by just in time to hear that and he smiled. Reid looked confused at the expression on the SSA's face and Rossi explained, his eyes flicking from Hotch's office to Emily's cubicle, where she sat grinning, "When your own words fail, the words of others can be just what you need to get the point across. Especially if you're saying I love you."

Thank you for reading. I wrote this in about two hours on a whim, so let me know what you think!