Disclaimer: Hogwarts etc belongs to JKR
AN: Behold! Prologue. It is vastly unexciting but I rather enjoyed writing it and as with most things I enjoy writing I decided to post it. Do with it what you will.
Prologue
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She's never been sure what exactly it is about him.
The way he messes up his god-awful hair all the time. The way he grins and laughs and jokes at other people's tears. The way he makes her look like a fool or the way the other girls eye her, green with envy for having something she doesn't even want.
She looks at him sometimes and just shakes her head, because what can she do? He doesn't listen because it's never what he wants to hear. He doesn't behave because what's in it for him? He doesn't shut up and leave her alone because he doesn't want to, and heaven forbid James Potter should do anything against his will.
She's not sure what exactly it is about him but sometimes he makes her lose the very will to live, sometimes he makes her cry and scream and bawl obscenities in front of people who look up to and respect her. Sometimes he makes her lose even the deepest concentration and she hates him!
For so many reasons she cannot stand him.
And if that weren't enough in itself it would appear that he is genuinely as attached to her as he is to his own bloody reflection.
And that thought sickens her.
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It's been six years and he's still not sure where he stands with her.
Well, he is. But with every fibre of his being he wishes it were different.
He wishes she'd look past the him he'd been for five of those years, he wishes she'd come round the corner just in time to see him doing something great, something beneficial to mankind and heroic and not him hexing Snape. He wishes there'd be a possibility for her, just once, to see the good side of him. But fate is cruel and life's a bitch and every time there's the glimmering hope of a possibility it all goes wrong.
He looks at her sometimes and just wants to get down on his knees and cry, because what more can he do? She doesn't listen because she thinks she knows what she's going to hear. She doesn't watch because she thinks she's seen it all before. She doesn't take him seriously because he spent five years never giving her the chance and now he's genuinely genuine she couldn't give a damn. And she just won't understand. Because for some reason she seems to feel if she opens up to him he'll rip her apart from the inside out.
He knows exactly where he stands with her and sometimes it makes him lose the very will to live, sometimes it makes him kick and scream and lose quidditch matches. Sometimes it makes him say things he doesn't mean and make all even worse. Sometimes it makes him promise to change.
Because he thinks he loves her.
And he knows she can't stand him.
And that's almost enough to break his pathetic little-boy heart.
He wants more than anything for things to be different.
If you've read it, please review it.