The Avengers Horror Picture Show

by Asit Sparkle

Really it's a crossover between the Rocky Horror Picture Show and Avengers but it won't let me put it so... Ships/ Pairings: Expect a bit of everything, mostly Thor/ Jane I suppose. AU/ Other: Crossover. Rating: Rated T for adult themes mainly. O.k. so the image isn't exactly right, but I can't draw so I've used someone else's amazing art, credit to them.

Odin Allfather was ill the day the earth was in peril,

But he told us where we stand,

And Hawkeye was there in purple underwear,

Tony Stark was iron man,

Then something went wrong for Loki and Thanos,

They got caught in a celluloid jam,

Then at a deadly pace, they came from outer space,

And this is how the message ran:

Science Fiction - Double Feature,

Dr. Banner will become a creature,

See Demi-Gods fighting, Thor and Jane,

Gene Kelly stars in singing in the rain,

Oh-oh at the late night, double feature, picture show.

I knew Natasha R was fighting in a bar,

When the chitauri took to the hills,

And I really got chills when I saw Phil Colouson,

Fight a God that spits lies and kills,

Steve Rodgers said H.Y.D.R.A makes him anger,

And defeating them used lots of skills,

But when worlds collide, said Heimdall when Loki sighed,

I'm gonna give you some terrible thrills, like a:

Science Fiction - Double Feature,

Dr. Banner will become a creature,

See Demi-Gods fighting, Thor and Jane,

Gene Kelly stars in singing in the rain,

Oh-oh at the late night, double feature, picture show.

I wanna go, oh-oh, to the late night double feature picture show.

By Schwawama, oh-oh, at the late night double feature picture show.

In the back row at the late night double feature picture show.

The sun shines down on Stark tower, on this very special day; there is little noise from the building as the photographer's position themselves outside. Suddenly the doors burst open as Peter Parker and Mary Jane burst out, arm in arm on their wedding day. All their friends and family crowd out, cheering and laughing; a few celebratory tears are wiped from mother- in- laws eyes. The photographers seize the chance to take a few family photos and lovely shots of the couple, who are happily kissing and holding hands. A wooden sign outside the tower reads: 'two amazing young people, one beautiful marriage, conditions are happy, the forecast is a little grim. Tea anyone?' Outside the main celebrations however, Peter and Thor stand chatting.

"Well, I guess we really did it huh?" He nudges Thor's arm.

"I don't think there's any doubt about that, you and Mary- Jane have been almost inseparable since you met in Dr. Banner's Gammer courses!"

"Well, to tell you the truth Thor, that was the only reason I showed up in the first place!" Peter laughs.

Back outside the tower Mary- Jane giggles and calls to the other girls around her. "O.k, you guys this is it! You ready?" There's a commotion as the girls shout and get into spaces.

Mary- Jane's gonna throw her bouquet!" Peter chuckles. The boy's watch as she tosses it behind her, there is a small tussle and finally a woman grabs it, squealing excitedly.

"I got it, I got it! I got it!" She shouts excitedly.

Peter turns to Thor. "Hey, big fellah! Looks like it could be your turn next eh?"

"Who knows?" Thor half smiles. Suddenly a white car pulls up, graffiti on it 'Just married!' Peter chuckles and hops in the car, Mary- Jane sitting next to him, smiling and waving.

"So long, well, see you Thor." He gives a small wave and drives off, leaving Thor looking thoughtful.

As the crowd disperses, the photographers packing their cameras away, Thor and the girl with the bouquet are left strolling slowly together through the graveyard.

"Oh Thor, wasn't it wonderful, didn't Mary- Jane look radiant and beautiful? Oh I can't believe it, I mean an hour ago she was plain old Mary- Jane and now, now she's Mrs. Peter Parker!" She sighs.

"Yes Jane, Peter is a lucky guy." Thor puts his hands in his pockets as he walks.

"Yes." The air becomes awkward, a woman behind them dabs her eye as her husband leads her away.

"I always cry at weddings."

Thor searches for something to say. "Uhhh, everyone knows Mary- Jane is a wonderful little cook."

"Yes." The awkward silence descends again. As they walk along.

"Why, Peter himself'll be in line for a promotion in a year or two."

"Yes, yes." Jane nods, fiddling with the bouquet. As they walk an advert for 'Stark weapons' appears, with beating heart throbbing neon behind Jane and Thor.

Thor:

Hey Jane

Jane:

Yes Thor?

Thor:

I've got something to say. (uh huh?)

I really loved the skilful way

You beat the other girls to the bride's bouquet! (Oh, oh Thor!)

I was lost but I'm saved, Jane

The future is ours so I'll stay, Jane

So please don't say I'm a pain, Jane

I've one thing to say and that's

Damnit, Jane, I love you...

I couldn't think, but now I'm sane, Jane

There's a fire in my heart which you maintain, Jane

If there's one fool for you then I'm game, Jane

Now I've one thing to say and that's

Damnit, Jane, I love you...

Here's a ring to prove that I'm no joker

There's three ways that love can grow

That's good, bad or brotherly

Oh J-A-N-E I love you so

Jane:

Oh it's nicer than Mary-Jane wore, oh Thor

Now we're engaged, I know I mean more, oh Thor

To you than though before, oh Thor

I've one thing to say and that's

Thor, I'm yours, if you're mine too.

Oh Thor,

Thor:

Oh... dammit!

Jane:

I'm yours,

Thor:

Oh Jane!

Both:

For you,

Both:

I love you too

There's one thing left to do, and that's

Thor:

Go see the man to whom we both came, Jane

When we met in his Gammer exposé, Jane

Made me give you the eye and then run away ,

Jane

There's one thing to say and that's

Dammit, Jane, I love you...

Dammit Jane;

Jane:

Oh Thor, I'm yours

Thor:

Dammit Jane;

Both:

I love you!

Dummy, a J.A.R.V.I.S operator and Phil prepare for the funeral of Bucky as the couple leave.